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* NRA lobbyist Todd Vandermyde testifying at a committee hearing…
* The Question: Caption?
Funniest commenter wins a $20 gift certificate at Springfield’s Grab-A-Java.
But make absolutely sure to keep it clean! Thanks.
* By the way, our previous winner was BentheDem…
In light of our success of Squeezy, I’d like to present Randy the Revenue Rabbit. You’re welcome.
BentheDem should send me an e-mail and we’ll work out the details.
* Also, if you have a business and would like to provide a sweet prize for caption contests, you should definitely contact me.
posted by Rich Miller
Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 10:57 am
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Previous Post: Illinois drought eases
Next Post: Raw audio of Poshard argument
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“Representative, you call this a gun? I call this a ‘good start’ to a gun.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 10:59 am
“Trust me — I wasn’t the only that wanted to do this after Tuesday’s 8 hours of debate insanity.”
Comment by dave Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:02 am
Just for Men. Touch of Gray.
Endorsed by the National Rifle Association.
Comment by John A Logan Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:02 am
“This is my rifle. This is my gun. This is for fighting, and this is for fun.”
Winner should get a day on the range with Todd!
Comment by TCB Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:03 am
You’re right, Todd. You don’t need a loaded gun to get concealed carry.
Comment by Cal Skinner Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:03 am
“Seriously, I followed all the instructions step-by-step and this was left over at the end. Where would this go on a gas grill, anyway?”
Comment by wordslinger Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:03 am
“It comes in Nickel or Steel, Black, Camo,… snd Pink for the ladies.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:04 am
“I’m confused. Where do you say you want me to conseal this?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:05 am
“I’m just an unfrozen caveman lobbyist. Your bright lights and committee hearing rooms frighten me.”
Comment by Anom Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:07 am
Which is the biggest butt?
Comment by Spliff Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:07 am
“Representative, if you can’t name this, then you can’t ban me from consealing it.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:07 am
===“I’m just an unfrozen caveman lobbyist. Your bright lights and committee hearing rooms frighten me.”===
Leader in the clubhouse!
“Representative! What are you talking about? This? This is my hair dryer!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:09 am
I laughed when that Ralphie kid in the movie said, “I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!”
What a nerd. THIS is what I wanted for Christmas.
Comment by Responsa Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:09 am
“Senator Trotter, I think you dropped this in the parking lot.”
Comment by So. ILL Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:10 am
“this ladies and gentlemen is what GManJim would be giving up in his gun castration program he spoke so eloquently about this week. Have mercy”
Comment by CircularFiringSquad Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:11 am
Look, this is no different than Quinn, a benign attachment to something “scary”.
Comment by Iaintcoonsey Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:12 am
“Members of the Committee! What is the problem here? This … was a grab bag gift I got!”
“…you mean my Cigar Lighter here?…”
“Representative, I see you broke your iPhone, I can get you a case like mine? It’s bulky but fun …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:12 am
Who left this and took my cannoli?
Comment by bongofurry Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:14 am
“As a fundraiser, we are offering these … sit down, sit down, it’s not what it looks like … it’s our version of a Cannoli Maker …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:17 am
“Five years ago, on a dare from my buddy Wayne LaPierre, I pried this out of Charlton Heston’s cold, dead hands.”
Comment by The End Is Near Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:17 am
“Happy Easter everyone. Behold our Chocolate Gun Case …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:19 am
NRA lobbyist explains, nay lives, God given right to bear bangs.
Comment by just sayin' Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:20 am
“When I broke my Chocolate Gun Case, Jellybeans fell out … you guys?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:21 am
Rich Miller’s dye job was just too splotchy.
Comment by NIref Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:22 am
Pull!
Comment by rEDRUM Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:22 am
“No, senator, we don’t use the term ‘boom stick’ anymore. (mutters: This is gonna take a while.) Let’s start at the beginning.”
Comment by Colossus Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:23 am
Empty gun, a new metaphor for NRA rhetoric.
Comment by Amalia Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:24 am
“Let me introduce you to my little friend.”
Comment by Jake From Elwood Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:25 am
If you ban guns from committee hearings, only bad lobbyists will have guns in committee hearings.
Comment by Skeeter Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:26 am
Trust me, when the zombie apocalypse arrives, you want this.
Comment by lake county democrat Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:28 am
Todd: “Pass the bill, or the lobbyist gets it!”
Todd: “Help me! Help me!”
Todd: “Shut up!”
Sen. A: “Won’t somebody please help that poor man?”
Sen. B: “No, he’s crazy enough to do it!”
Comment by Colossus Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:28 am
It’s a prosthetic foot. Why?
It’s a floor jack that Tom and Norm left in my basement last season.
Comment by zatoichi Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:31 am
“By standing in the way of a Concealed Carry law, legislators are making invisible guns like this one an inevitability.”
– MrJM
Comment by MrJM Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:34 am
Senator, what if you were adrift on Lake Springfield and no one could find you? Your fundraiser starts in 20 minutes, your phone is dead, your boat radio won’t work, oh yeah, then you wish you had this concealed carry flare gun!
Comment by Rich Gatling Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:34 am
If I didn’t have this gun, the King of England could just walk right in here and start pushing you around. You want that?
Comment by Ray Charles Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:38 am
No Mr. Acevedo i cannot put more than one of these on a rifle.
Comment by Mason born Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:39 am
argo-bleep-yerselves
Comment by 10th Indy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:40 am
Ralphie (all grown up): You see, I didn’t poke my eye out with the Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle! Now I want a real gun and not some silly toy.
Comment by nobody Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:40 am
“This? This is my wallet …What did you think it was?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:41 am
“Pass this now or the bearded guy gets it!”
Comment by Chicago Cynic Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:45 am
“Feelings… Nothing more than feelings…”
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:47 am
“Nope, it WAS a gun case. Am I happy to see you? Yeah, sure …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:47 am
No Senator this is not the part the bullet comes out of. Nope not a magazine either. How about i give you some homework and we start over.
Comment by Mason born Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:48 am
Some assembly required, they said. Universally understood pictograms, they said. I’ll never shop at Ikea again!
Comment by thechampaignlife Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:49 am
“When not being used as a collapsible rifle stock, this little beauty can be used as “the club” to secure your steering wheel. How many of these can I put the General Assembly down for?”
Comment by Tsavo Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:49 am
“Stop, stop, STOP! Mr. Vandermyde, we’re sorry, the committee has to stop you right there. While ‘Craig the Gun Case’ and this puppet act you are doing… is … interesting, please stick to answering our questions… as YOU…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:51 am
Conceal it? I can’t even find ammo for it!!!
Comment by LisleMike Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:51 am
“You gotta know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em.”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:52 am
Pass ‘conceal and carry’ or the NRA guy gets it!
Comment by Mr. Grassroots Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:53 am
Oops, Todd beat me to it! Sorry!
Comment by Mr. Grassroots Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:54 am
You want me to put this where?
Comment by papa2009 Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:55 am
“Yes, Representative Mell, I suppose this could double as a handy carrying case for either a whistle or mace. Why do you ask?”
Comment by So. ILL Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:56 am
“I just made this with my 3D printer.”
Comment by Allen Skillicorn Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:59 am
You have heard of a “muzzle”, this is a “muzzle-loader”!
Comment by southof80 Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:00 pm
Insert “Squeezy the Itchy Trigger Finger” joke here.
Comment by So. ILL Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:00 pm
No, Representative, this is not a gun. It’s an NRA-approved cannoli tube.
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:03 pm
“One word: Plastics”
Comment by Westsider Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:04 pm
We call it the “Popper” cause you just “pop the corn” cob in from the front of the muzzle.
Comment by Mouthy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:10 pm
I kept the gun and left the cannoli.
Comment by Mr. Grassroots Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:13 pm
“Yes, I know what a flowbee is”
“No, this is not a flowbee”
“I don’t see the relavance of whether I’ve used a flowbee”
“No I don’t pluck my eyebrows”
Comment by pardon Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:14 pm
“Mine is actually bigger than this.”
Comment by City Slicker Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:21 pm
Guess the GMan and castration are off limits which is too bad becauase it was lot better than other submissions
Comment by CircularFiringSquad Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:21 pm
Gun? What gun??
This is not a gun!
It’s a transformer, Optimus Nine!
Comment by Wensicia Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:25 pm
How about you guys approving this gun for conceal carry!
Comment by Nuance Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:27 pm
“Instant AR- Just add water”
Comment by Blue Dog Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:28 pm
You can conceal the gray by carrying “Touch of Gray”
Comment by Stones Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:33 pm
Senator, I will not let you infringe upon my right to conceal and carry… whichever part of Robocop this is.
Comment by BentheDem Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:34 pm
How do you conceal carry? You take this and stick it in your pants. Nobody will notice.
Comment by Nuance Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:35 pm
“One more step and the NRA lobbyist gets it.” (Kudos to Blazing Saddles)
Comment by Tatler Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:37 pm
“You call this a gun, Senator? The slingshot I made when I was 5 years old has more pop than this.”
“Well, Senator, I guess I could put the training wheels back on it if it would make you feel better.”
“If I ever get attacked in Chicago by a gangbanger riding a grizzly bear, what am I going to do with this thing? Set it to ‘tickle’?”
Comment by Roamin' Numeral Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:40 pm
See this empty gun? It’s helpful as the NRA having Debby Halvorson’s back in her congressional race.
Comment by dave Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:42 pm
This? It’s for PEZ.
Comment by Way Way Down Here Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:52 pm
You can pry this Dyson vacuum car seat cleaning attachment from my cold dead hands!
Comment by AC Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:55 pm
Yes, Senator, it DOES take me quite a while to blow-dry my beard.
Comment by Prairie Curmudgeon Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:56 pm
Duz any of youze guys got anything else to say about my Blogojevich bangs? I’ll wait right here.
Comment by Calhoun Native Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:59 pm
No this is not a gun this is apart to a gun. (under breath “these people really are that $#%@$*@ Stupid”)
Comment by Mason born Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:01 pm
“Todd Vandermyde? My name is Emiliano Zapata, and this my friends is a revolution!”
Comment by WazUp Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:12 pm
“Mr. Sacia I have the firearm you ordered.”
Comment by WazUp Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:14 pm
“This, representatives … this is …um … this is … ok, you got me, I dunno what this is, there you happy?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:15 pm
OW, sometimes a gun is just a gun.
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:17 pm
“Frustrated Consumer Testifies During the Ikea Assembly Instruction Clarification Act hearings in Illinois Senate Chamber Friday”
Comment by benniefly2 Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:21 pm
Well done, Rich …lol
“Did you just ask me if this is registered?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:21 pm
“Now … someone just told me thaty foud this … in that ‘Lincoln Hat’ everyone is questioning …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:23 pm
Bad Form on the “Hat”, even mocking the possible “fakes” is bad form…apologies
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:26 pm
“In Kendall County, we hang these by the chimney durnig the holidays… if we are good, its filled with candy canes, socks, and 50 rounds of ammo …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:34 pm
(internal thought by Todd): Some of these folks are proving my point for mandatory evaluations prior to obtaining a permit.
Comment by unclesam Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:34 pm
“Oh yeah, you run that Shell Bill, and I will take this Shell Gun and figuratively shoot holes in that legislation. You want that?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:37 pm
So last week I’m telling my broker how I wish my stock would go up, and yesterday the UPS guy drops this thing off on my doorstep.
Comment by benji Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:49 pm
“But wait, for the first 100 visitors you can get as many of these as you want with no requirement for background checks. You just pay shipping and handling from Indiana to the City of Chicago!”
Comment by D P Gumby Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:51 pm
I’ve only seen a couple of commenters who actually know what he is holding.
Comment by doomed in illinois Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:53 pm
“People want to ban assault weapons because they look scary, so we developed the transparent-aluminum AR-25 here with the help of an oddly-dressed Scot. So you see, as soon as we discover a formula for transparent plastic nobody will want a ban!”
Comment by jaranath Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:56 pm
You mean Preckwinkle can put a sales tax on THIS?
Comment by Anyone Remember? Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:57 pm
Dateline - March 2, 2018
Now retired NRA lobbyist Todd Vandermyde testifies at a General Assembly hearing against the ban on the last vestige of American culture,..the hand held Supersoaker.
Comment by Irish Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:01 pm
NRA lobbyist Todd Vandermyde intruduces the new tactical personal defense paperweight to the 2014 General Assembly. After futile efforts to prevent the outlaw of all firearms in 2013, the NRA has shifted its focus to the advocacy of office equipment.
Comment by Tex Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:17 pm
“You thought THIS was mine … No …Mine is Mint Green and Bedazzled…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:22 pm
“I know it’s hard to believe, but Rod actually made this out of soap and shoe polish.”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:31 pm
- Arthur Andersen -!
Outside the box thinking … well done!
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:34 pm
You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the **** do you think you’re talking to? Oh yeah? OK.
Comment by Tex Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:34 pm
–“I know it’s hard to believe, but Rod actually made this out of soap and shoe polish.”–
LOL, didn’t see the Dillinger coming. AA, your table is waiting.
Comment by wordslinger Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:35 pm
Mr Drury, I wouldn’t trust you with this much of a firearm much less the whole thing
Comment by Todd Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:40 pm
Still stinging from Drury’s cross-examination, eh, Todd? lol
That was surely something to see.
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:42 pm
If we are not allowed to carry concealed weapons around that will make us feel like real men, then allow us to carry this concealed male enhancer around.
Comment by Health Care Justice Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:44 pm
NRA holds Conceal Carry Hostage
“Hold it! Next man makes a move, the Cracker gets it!”
(apologies to Blazing Saddles)
Comment by Yellow Dog Democrat Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:46 pm
Any you thought that Todd and Randy Ramey were different people…
Comment by Dazed & Confused Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:46 pm
Todd
the problem isn’t that they have a Weapon the problem is they have power. After all if you carry more than one CCW weapon you will shoot down Ariforce One just ask Acevedo.
Rich i think you have to give it to AA for the Rod Crack that was priceless.
Comment by Mason born Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:49 pm
This thing I’m holding works as a gun as well as you guys work at fixing the pension problem…
Comment by roadbuilder Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:49 pm
Not really rich just having fun
No rep Zalewski this is not called a shoulder thingy that goes up. (I’m gonna have to tell phelps we need an amendment that keeps some of these guys from getting carry permits)
Comment by Todd Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:52 pm
===“I know it’s hard to believe, but Rod actually made this out of soap and shoe polish.”===
New Leader in the Clubhouse!
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:53 pm
Sure, this thing could take a 30 round clip and could easily be modified to shoot automatically, but in this instance I’ve modified it to be a highly portable and effective water pipe for smoking marijuana. What do you think of that, Representative Legalizeit?
Comment by Quizzical Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:54 pm
- Todd -
You have a good sense of humor about all this … and your work.
Tip of the hat.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:56 pm
There’s more money to be made in the medical industry. I’m presently working on my new invention, telescopic crutches.
Comment by benji Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:56 pm
I’m out. anyone got some?
Comment by Amalia Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:05 pm
They made it special for him. It’s an eighty-eight Magnum.
It shoots through schools.
Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:14 pm
Senator, I’m sorry to interrupt, but, no, you don’t have to worry that it’ll go off; And, I mean, do you REAlly think this could kill me? I mean, in all due respect, Senator, I ponder how much you really KNOW about guns? There’s this thing called a trigger? You DO know what that is…right? And so do you see a TRIGger on this gun I’m pointing at myself? I certainly don’t. And even if I’m in jest, and there IS one, do you really think I’d galavant into the Illinois General Assembly with a LOADED handgun? I mean, out of deference, although I realize that given your political posture opposed to all things guns, you are probably sickened, sadly, as SO many of these are actually manufacturerd with the intent of proTECTing you and your loved ones, but just to have one in your PREsence,but, anyway, and, no, in reply to your previous question, trust me, you can relax, because, rest assured, no–they HAVen’t yet come up with some “Stealth” Triggeer, so you really need not worry…
Comment by Just The Way It Is One Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:30 pm
NRA lobbyist Todd Vandermyde confuses GA members with a licorice pistol as more legislators jump on the Ban Wagon.
Comment by Irish Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:33 pm
“Yes Senator, it’s called the Bloomberg. It’s a little short on parts.”
Comment by Irish Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:34 pm
Q: Whaddya call that big, soft, fleshy thing attached to a handgun?
A: Todd!
Comment by mongo Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:36 pm
or…
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Comment by mongo Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:37 pm
Todd
Was that a MagPul? might want to get one.
Comment by Mason born Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:39 pm
Yeah, I don’t think gonna top AA on this one. Kudos.
Comment by BentheDem Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:44 pm
This thing has been sitting on my end table for years and I’m still waiting for it to kill someone.
Comment by The unknown poster Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:47 pm
I call this the model Quinn. I keep changing my mind what it should look like when it’s finished.
Comment by AFSCME Steward Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:52 pm
“What? No sir, this neither a clip nor a high capacity magazine.”
Comment by Charlatan Heston Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:53 pm
*is
Comment by Charlatan Heston Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:54 pm
Mason –
yea its a Magpul stock
Comment by Todd Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 4:12 pm
You guys don’t use a flare gun to blow dry your hair? Seriously?
Comment by Muffin Man Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 4:22 pm
=Todd: “Pass the bill, or the lobbyist gets it!”
Todd: “Help me! Help me!”
Todd: “Shut up!”
Sen. A: “Won’t somebody please help that poor man?”
Sen. B: “No, he’s crazy enough to do it!” =
This must win…..come on Blazing Saddles reference has to win!
All I can think of is “Oh Lordy lord, he’s desperate….Do what he say, Do what he say!”
Comment by TCB Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 4:25 pm
–No rep Zalewski this is not called a shoulder thingy that goes up. (I’m gonna have to tell phelps we need an amendment that keeps some of these guys from getting carry permits)–
Great idea. I have some thoughts on that, myself.
Members of the Decatur Militia come to mind.
Comment by wordslinger Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 4:31 pm
AA wins. https://capitolfax.com/2013/03/01/question-of-the-day-1544/#comment-11268068
Have a great weekend!
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 4:50 pm
“Thank you very much. Thank you very much”
AA has left the building.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 5:01 pm