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* Rep. John D’Amico, who is sponsoring a bill that would outlaw handheld cellphone usage while driving…
* The Question: Caption?
Keep it clean, people. Thanks.
posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:36 pm
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Previous Post: The dude still abides
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“And then I drag my finger like this, and the angry bird flies into the bad piggies.”
Comment by Anon Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:38 pm
“Hold on, I’m going to need to take this…..”
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:39 pm
I could be worse, I’m not Michael Bloomberg
Comment by TCB Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:40 pm
The only use for a cell phone in a moving vehicle is as something to throw at your misbehaving children in back of the SUV.
Comment by TCB Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:42 pm
Studies show that texting while voting is every bit as dangerous as drunk voting.
Comment by Anon. Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:42 pm
For those of us who use these, Mister Speaker, it is very distracting while driving. I ask for an “aye” vote.
Comment by siriusly Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:43 pm
“Is there a Miss Bath here … Anita Bath on the floor … Anita Bath?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:45 pm
rep. D’amico starts a flash mob to the tune of “call me maybe”
Comment by in the know Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:47 pm
Mr. Speaker, Saputo’s is on the line. They want to know if you’re still on for tonight at 7.
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:52 pm
Pardon the reference to Pulp Fiction…”The way your Dad looked at it, this cell phone was your birthright.”
Comment by anonymoose Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:55 pm
I still can’t figure out how to use this darn thing.
Comment by Norseman Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:56 pm
Before too long I will outlaw these as well!
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:57 pm
Rep. D’Amico attempts to use Google Translate after the phrase “legislación intrusiva” was used in debate.
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:57 pm
Tim, no, don’t take my phone. I need it for my friendly lobster to tell me how to vote.
Comment by Norseman Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 12:59 pm
You see this cellphone! Well, cellphones are the root of the pension problem. We outlaw cellphones, and we solve the pension crisis!
Comment by Rufus Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:02 pm
Hey everybody, I just found an ‘App’ to fix the pension problem!
Comment by East Central Illinois Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:04 pm
Uh OK, hold on for a second, let me check…Hugh Jass? Is there a Hugh Jass here?
Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:04 pm
Hey Art. What are you doing up there?
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:05 pm
Rep. D’Amico holds his iPhone to the microphone upon realizing his desk did not have an auxiliary audio input jack. Legislators, staffers, and guests in the gallery agreed: it was the weakest Zaireeka synchronization attempt anyone had ever seen.
Comment by Dirty Red Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:08 pm
Pardon me, Mr. Speaker, Rep Ives is texting me. She’s saying something about “weasels and disorders??” Can I make an amendment that Rep Ives not be allowed to use any type of media….ever! For her own protection of course.
Comment by SuburbanDad Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:10 pm
Hold on, Brett Favre is sending me a photo here….
Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:11 pm
The fiscal impact note just says “get milk and eggs”. Wait, now it’s saying I forgot to empty the dishwasher.
Comment by The Captain Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:12 pm
“Now I’d like to show you this game I found that’s a simulation of this General Assembly… it’s called Plants vs. Zombies.”
Comment by Ron Burgundy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:14 pm
Siri, how big of a grandstander am I?
Comment by I don't want to live in Teabagistan Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:24 pm
“Now I press this little button here, and I press this little button there, and all the sudden this ‘thingie’ starts to talk to you - It’s magic, I tell you!!
And sometimes it even starts yelling at you! It’s like Rahm’s somehow has got it possessed! It’s evil and needs to be exorcised!”
Comment by Judgment Day Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:25 pm
And not just these. All conversation between passengers and the driver. Oh and no snacks. And we really need to take down signage along the highway, I mean it’s just so distracting.
Comment by Jimbo Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:26 pm
OW…
Anita Bath….Hilarious!
Comment by Sunshine Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:27 pm
“Drive faster than anybody!”
Comment by Anonymau5 Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:31 pm
“I have O L I S D E D. Can anyone think of a word?”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:34 pm
Wait… I just voted for WHAT?
Comment by Jerry 101 Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:40 pm
Hmm. 0000. Nope, that’s not it. 1234. Nope. Darn. I’ve locked myself out of my own phone.
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:43 pm
Before I answer your question, Representative, I need to leave a comment on Miller’s blog. Just hold on.
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:43 pm
I filled out my bracket sheet right from this guy right here. How far do I have the Illini going? Let me see………………………
Comment by Darienite Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:44 pm
We need to remember to exempt ourselves from this legislation.
Comment by Pale Rider Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:46 pm
===Before I answer your question, Representative, I need to leave a comment on Miller’s blog. Just hold on.===
Winner!
Saputo’s was good too …
“Mr. Speaker, i told you I was a ‘No’, why did you ‘De-Friend’ me?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:51 pm
“Wait, I just got a tweet from Sen. McCarter on what is being debated in the Senate …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:52 pm
Well played Rich!
Comment by Arthur Andersen Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:56 pm
“I’ll tell you another reason these contraptions need to be banned. The other day I accidentally ‘flashed’ the Speaker…
I mean I took a picture of him….
Can you imagine if that had happened while I was driving?”
Comment by Judgment Day Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:58 pm
Yes, I already did that, Representative. No, I already tried rebooting. It’s just no use. I can’t get Infinity Blade to stop running.
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 1:59 pm
Tough today … really good ones out there.
“Will the Sponsor yield to ‘Face Time’…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:00 pm
“Mr. Speaker, the ‘The Velvet Hammer/Whack a Mushroom’ App you sent is not funny …To the Bill …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:04 pm
Captain, I’m getting a reading of a significant deposit of dilithium crystals over there. We should send some red shirted Ensigns to check it out.
Comment by titan Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:06 pm
“I keep trying to send my Brackets to the Chair for ’submission’, but it keeps locking me out …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:07 pm
So if I hold my cellphone in my right hand & the microphone with my left I can’t grip the steering wheel.
Comment by AFSCME Steward Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:07 pm
Hello, Jimmie John’s ?
Comment by AFSCME Steward Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:09 pm
“I don’t know whose phone this is, but I started your car, turned on your house lights and opened your garage. (pause) Sorry.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:09 pm
“Does anyone else want to talk to Skip before I hang up”
Comment by Northland Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:15 pm
Thank your Mr. Speaker. Ladies and Gentlemen of the House, I don’t know how to use this thing. It just keeps beeping at me, so I introduced this bill…
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:15 pm
“No, Representative, I will not put it THERE, that’s why I have Bluetooth…”
“Will the Speaker take my cellphone call off the sound system. I am still learning this ‘Blue Teeth’ app on my phone …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:17 pm
“I’ll send everyone the link. It’s the Bos ‘paper toss’ put in a Harlem Shake montage …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:21 pm
“Speaker … Speaker Madigan …Look … look at my phone, I meant to hit ‘delete’, not ’send’ … and that picture looks nothing like you.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:23 pm
“Thank you to whomever is broadcasting the ‘Lang Yourself’ mobile hotspot.”
Comment by Dirty Red Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:24 pm
“Leader Cross, with respect… for the 5th time, I am not Oswego Willy. I am just texting, not posting about you. Look at my phone if you don’t believe me!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:26 pm
“If the Speaker will wait just a sec…I’m almost done downloading the Blagojevich audiobook.”
Comment by Jake From Elwood Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:29 pm
Take the cannoli leave the phone!
Comment by anon Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:29 pm
“Mr. Speaker, I was distracted and accidentally sent the PAC’s bank account information to these Nigerian spammers….”
Comment by Judgment Day Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:32 pm
“If you hold the phone like so … and press the App … you can tell if someone is wearing a wire on the floor …so no more ‘hugs’…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:34 pm
“We need to pass legislation requiring an ‘Eject Battery’ button on these contraptions. Then the driver could just eject the battery before driving.
It a simple, straightforward fix. Easy.”
Comment by Judgment Day Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:37 pm
Hey! Who changed my ringtone to play “Taps”?
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:38 pm
“Instead of reading the text I got from Mayor Emaunuel, I will just send it to the Clerk to add to the record…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:39 pm
Sorry, Taps was me.
Comment by Casual Observer Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:39 pm
For example, I can resist my phone while driving, while most people can’t…wait this just popped up; I’m the focus of a caption contest?
Sorry, officer, it’s Capitol Fax’s fault.
Comment by Wensicia Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:42 pm
“And, Ladies and Gentlemen of the House, I take this little finger, gently tap the screen and Capt. Fax pub;ishes yet another item about target practice by the IL GOPies a.k.a. Circular Firing Squad. Long Live Chairman Brady!”
Fire. Aim, Ready!
Comment by CircularFiringSquad Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 2:44 pm
“And … there! … No matter what, the other side of the aisle will always be ‘voting green’…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 3:02 pm
“Speaker, I just changed all the fruit in ‘Fruit Ninja’ to apples for you….”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 3:04 pm
Does anyone know a ‘Tony Weiner?’ He’s sending me a picture, and, Oh My God!
Comment by Arthur Andersen Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 3:05 pm
“Even with the FaceTime app and a Retina display, you still won’t be able to see them. There’s a reason they’re called ‘ghost payrollers.’”
Comment by The End Is Near Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 3:30 pm
Yep. I’m holding the cell, reading this text, holding the mic, signing a song, listening to you,and tapping my foot. That’s 6 levels of multi-tasking. It’s doable.
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 3:37 pm
“My colleagues who are attorneys in this chamber should be thrilled with this bill! If I hold the device to my ear, I am in violation. If I text or look on the Internet, I am in violation. But if I use the device to select my favorite music to listen to, just like this, its not a violation. Or if use it as a navigation device, I am not in violation. Of course, the police will not be able to tell the difference, so what lawyer will object to the endless amounts of paperwork and billable hours that will need to filed to resolve the issues generated by this poorly written piece of legislation? Since the police can pull you over for a violation of this bill, the opportunities are endless for some quality work for this struggling profession.”
Comment by Tasty Grouper Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 3:49 pm
“It’s got a yardage finder and tracks your handicap!”
Comment by T Cross Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 4:11 pm
Waiting for McDermotts phone call
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 4:15 pm
I have here in my hand a text message list that lists 205 [State Department employees] that were known to the Secretary of State as being members of the Communist Party
Comment by Ahoy! Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 4:17 pm
“Speaker, it’s Sen. Durbin. He wants to know if you heard his quote about Quinn and Lisa yet?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 4:26 pm
“Unlike many state employees I can take as many personal calls as I want, enjoy unlimited surfing and game playing… plus its a state contract phone !”
Comment by one day at a time Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 4:31 pm
The ban on cell phone use in vehicles will not apply to hired trucks idling on job sites while the drivers and laborers are idle.
Comment by Esquire Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 5:18 pm
In session. Just watching Rep. D’Amico point at his phone. #SPFLDglamor #ChristianMitchellPhotobomb
Comment by hotshot Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 5:53 pm
“I’m an Android fan because of the open-source programming code, obviously.”
Comment by hotshot Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 6:01 pm
hello mike can you here me now
Comment by county chairman Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 7:26 pm
can a lobbyist please come over here and show me how to use this
Comment by county chairman Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 7:28 pm
“What’s a Tweet?”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Wednesday, Mar 20, 13 @ 8:46 pm