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* From last month…
Chicago Bulls forward Taj Gibson became the 15th player to draw a warning for violating the anti-flopping rule, the NBA announced Monday.
Gibson drew his warning for a play that occurred in the first quarter of Saturday’s victory over the Cavaliers. A video replay showed Gibson exaggerating contact he drew from Cavaliers guard Kyrie Irving.
No fine is involved. If Gibson draws a second warning, he will be fined $5,000.
* The Question: Your proposed “new rules” for Illinois politics?
It’s Friday, so try to have some fun.
posted by Rich Miller
Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:13 pm
Sorry, comments are closed at this time.
Previous Post: For him when it suits their purposes
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IQ tests for candidates running for public office.
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:17 pm
Before every speech, Pat Quinn must be introduced by a holographic version of a walking, talking Squeezy.
Before every speech, Bruce Rauner must be introduced with a video montage of his “greatest hits” concerning the minimum wage.
Comment by Formerly Known As... Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:23 pm
No questioning of signatures for Terrance Goggin. I’m trying to win a house seat here people!
Comment by Terrance Goggin Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:25 pm
No flopping. When the opposing party is doing something you don’t like, you’re not allowed to scream like it’s the end of the world.
Comment by Timmeh Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:27 pm
Sheila Simon must answer all media questions, including during debates, in the form of a banjo song.
Mike Frerichs must have all press releases screened by “Miss Manners” before distribution.
Comment by Formerly Known As... Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:27 pm
All seeking elected office who have experienced the ill effects of alcohol or tobacco use within the past year, however mild, must finance their own mandatory exploratory jaunt to Colorado and/or Washington state for extended cannabis sampling.
Comment by Han Sanity Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:28 pm
If Sen. Matt Murphy uses “kick the can down the road” in a floor speech his vote can officially and legally be changed to “yes”.
Comment by Michelle Flaherty Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:30 pm
24 hour no “Flip-Flopping” Rule. If you say it, you own it for one full day.
Comment by Swing Vote Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:31 pm
All tax documents disclosed and all sources of income detailed from original sources (e.g. clients and not a law firm) for all elected officials and any state, county or municipal employee earning more than 85,000 annually.
Comment by Personal Wealth Test Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:32 pm
For Sheila Simon (and keeping with basketball references):
Don’t jump in the air without knowing what office you’re going to run for.
Comment by Timmeh Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:32 pm
After every change in his story about the minimum wage, Bruce Rauner must turn around, twirl his fingers, and say “Excellent…”
Comment by OurMagician Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:33 pm
Any proposal for urine tests for public benefits or employment requires that they be administered by legislators.
Comment by wordslinger Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:34 pm
Erika Harold and Rodney Davis must say one nice thing about each other before answering debate questions.
Lou Lang must sample medical marijuana for the sake of “legislative research”. While in the confines of Chicago’s brand-new casino.
Comment by Formerly Known As... Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:34 pm
No questioning of Madigan’s right to be speaker for life.
Comment by Wensicia Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:36 pm
For Republicans:
It doesn’t do any good to make the Democrats’ offense miss if you don’t get the rebound.
Comment by Timmeh Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:36 pm
For the Tribune:
You’re not allowed to complain that Madigan got out and ran on the fastbreak after the pension reform committee had something passable.
Comment by Timmeh Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:39 pm
How about video gambling machines in the Capitol Building rotunda?
Comment by Stones Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:40 pm
Kassisms found in campaign speak, mailers, or any Ads requres the offending candidate to have to eat beer can chicken for a week.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:40 pm
The foot in mouth rule, if you stick it there, you’re required to eat it.
Comment by AFSCME Steward Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:41 pm
I’ve got two:
Children of elected officials can not hold public office for one generation.
And while we’re at it…legislators can not become lobbyists for a period of five years.
Comment by Chicago Cynic Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:41 pm
For Jesse White:
The ref still hasn’t called 3 terms in the lane yet, so stay in there and shot block.
Comment by Timmeh Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:42 pm
The next person who says RINO gets trampled by one.
Comment by AFSCME Steward Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:43 pm
Make thirsty Thursday a state holiday
Comment by foster brooks Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:43 pm
Rule: When asked to help out on an issue, a legislator is not allowed to reply by suggesting you hire XXX lobbyist.
Rule: There will now be a time limit for legislators to be able to refer to their former careers. You can only claim “former teacher, former police officer, former prosecutor” for your first two years in the legislature. After that you have become just another politician.
Comment by Siriusly Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:45 pm
For Bruce Rauner:
Don’t say you were being flippant when the refs call double-dribble.
Comment by Timmeh Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:46 pm
Rule: Any legislator making more than 2x the median salary in America, and who uses the term “1%” to attack another person, immediately forfeits their earnings for the duration of the year.
Reason: The rank hypocrisy of politicians making that much money while claiming to understand the plight of “poor people” is just too much. Especially when so many of them and their families are in that 1% themselves.
Ooops. Looks like that “2x the median” rule applies to every legislator in Illinois. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen.
Guess you’ll just have to talk less about the problem and do more to work on the problem.
Comment by Formerly Known As... Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:46 pm
For Democrats:
Coach says to play the full 48 minutes. Trust in the system.
Comment by Timmeh Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:49 pm
Do Over aka “Honest Politician” Rule:
If a politician takes a campaign contribution and voted against the donor’s wishes, the donor can get a refund!
Comment by RNUG Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:50 pm
=Kassisms found in campaign speak, mailers, or any Ads requires the offending candidate to have to eat beer can chicken for a week.=
Can the offender request different marinades/rubs? This may not be a deterint.
Comment by Darienite Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:51 pm
Mike Madigan gets a gulag under the Capitol building in which to throw insolent legislators.
No one may be held for more than 20 days.
Legislators welcome this improvement, as they currently anguish over knowing for certain when they have been freed from the “mental gulag” and “outskirts of Siberia” Madigan occasionally confines them to during session.
Comment by Formerly Known As... Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:54 pm
Anybody suffering from Aponogelia should be provided a tape of Lise Madigan trying to do the funky dance on her float in the Bud Billiken day parade.
Comment by Chunga's Revenge Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:56 pm
An “anti-flip-flopping” rule. Next time Rauner, it will be $5000.
Comment by tominchicago Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:56 pm
I am with Timmeh and Swing Vote.
No Flopping Rule: No more end of the world, feigned outrage.
No Flip-Flopping Rule: Although asking Bruce Rauner to stick to a position for 24 hours might seem like too much to ask, he is just gonna have to button his Carhartt up to the top and weather it out for 24 hours next time.
Comment by Juvenal Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:57 pm
For Republicans:
The refs aren’t going to call fouls when you shove each other, so tell Jim Oberweis not to try out for the team.
Comment by Timmeh Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:57 pm
Rule: Every legislative session opens with an interesting fact about Joe Walsh.
Rule: You can only host a fundraiser on Monday nights in Springfield if it includes access and free rides on a Tilt-A-Whirl.
Comment by Hamilton Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:58 pm
All Illinois politicians currently imprisoned must be lined up in a special section of the same prison.
Schoolchildren will make 2 trips a year:
1 to the animal zoo.
1 to the political zoo.
Comment by Formerly Known As... Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:59 pm
Any candidate who receives less than 8% of the vote in a primary is barred from offering advice to any candidate other than “look at what I did, and do the opposite.”
Comment by Smoggie Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 12:59 pm
Reduce legislators pay to the minimum wage. Have them clock in at the Capitol, clock out for lunch (they get a half hour), clock in and out for their two 15 minute breaks, neither of which can be taken at the end of a work day. Have them take annual ethics training online, and validate that they do. If not, fire them. During that ethics training, test their knowledge of various portions of the Illinois Constitution. Whenever they get a question incorrect, they need to attend a seminar taught by (a) Bruce Rauner, if they’re Republican, and (b) Pat Quinn, if they’re Democrat. If they are truly independent, the seminar will be taught by the IPI, since they are truly “non-partisan”.
Comment by PublicServant Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:00 pm
Actually, we could use a no flopping rule here, too. Every time you feign outrage or indignation at something for political points, you give $5,000 to a charity of Rich Miller’s choosing. Goes double for Republican gubernatorial candidates who would lower the minimum wage in a heartbeat but get in a tizzy because someone said it out loud. Fine multiplied by 10 if you’re outraged over the size of the public employee pensions that have allowed you to make a million dollars a week.
Comment by Century Club Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:00 pm
If you endorse a candidate currently under indictment, you can be added to the indictment as a co-conspirator.
Comment by Smoggie Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:01 pm
Using MSNBC or Fox News talking points to answer a straight-forward answer that needs no talking points requires the person answering to end with’
“I don’t think for myself on this issue, so cable news tells me my opinion.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:10 pm
Lobbyists actually have to wear lobster suits when in the Capitol building.
Comment by John A Logan Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:11 pm
No flop sweating. That’s what happens when you’re caught saying one thing then try with all your might to walk it back.
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:12 pm
This story needs a quote from State Senator David Luectefeld. He is after all the Illinois elected official with the most wins.
http://www.ihsa.org/data/bkb/records/acoach.htm
Comment by John A Logan Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:14 pm
Members of the General Assembly;
If you vote 98% or higher with your Caucus Leadership AND you are not part of Caucus Leadership, you have to wear a baret that looks like a Mushroom top from Mario Brothers until you get below 98% the next Cycle.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:22 pm
Switch the ballot access rules for Democrats and Republicans with the rules for independents and “others”. For statewide Ds and Rs would need 25,000 and need 5% for Congress and the GA.
Ban Democrats and Republicans from appearing on the ballot for the GA or Congress for 25 years just like they did to independent candidates.
Legislative salaries based on the average personal income in Illinois, minus a percentage equal to the unemployment rate.
If any legislator votes for a law that is later ruled unconstitutional at the state or federal level that legislator must resign and is forbidden from holding elective office again.
24/7/365 video cameras on all state and federal level politicians.
A ban on any tax money being used to pay for professional sports or entertainment.
At the budget deadline- locked doors, magic mushrooms, black lights, music, and video cameras until a balanced budget is passed.
Comment by Jeff Trigg Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:28 pm
Have a Plan Rule - Any politician recommending cuts in spending must immediately produce a plan.
Comment by Jerome Horwitz Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:28 pm
Read the Illinois Constitution, followed by a vocabulary lesson provided by one of our excellent public school teachers. Included are the words “diminished,” “impaired,” “enforceable,” and “contractual.”
Comment by PolPal56 Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:32 pm
No more pensions for legislators. This should be a temporary job of service, not your golden parachute.
No more than 2 relatives on the state payroll at any one time. I don’t care how qualified your mom, dad, brothers and sisters are.
No more no-bid contracts, except in the case of absolute, near life-and-death emergencies.
Annual reports for 2013 must be posted online before the end of 2014. Some agencies haven’t updated their online reports since 2006. It’s inexcusable.
Comment by Formerly Known As... Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:49 pm
Remove the Republican and Democrat monikers on ballots and let people research and vote on the merits!!
Comment by 4 percent Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:49 pm
Newly elected Governors must live off of minimum wage for the duration of their term. In addition, they are not able to access their own wealth until their term is up.
They can, as a perk of the job, stay and eat at the Governor’s Mansion for free, which should offset some of the income loss that they might endure.
Comment by Phenomynous Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 1:52 pm
Witness Slips and testimony be allowed in the Rules or Assignments Committees.
Comment by Give Me A Break Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 2:00 pm
$5,000 fine for any Illinois politician telling the truth. Second offense $10,000 NEVER MIND, That will never happen!!!
Comment by downstate hack Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 2:16 pm
Sunset Commission
Comment by PhoenixRising Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 2:32 pm
24 Second clock on Quinn rambling
Comment by AFSCME Steward Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 2:45 pm
Reformat the request for verification process. Instead of calling out names ones by one after the vote to see whether members are in the chamber, allow for a red challenge flag to be thrown by either floor leader. Subsequently, a neutral party (State Supreme Court judge) will come into the chamber and enter into a video review booth. After further video review, the neutral party will provide direction on whether the vote ruling on the chamber floor is confirmed. Each side gets two challenges per day. If the ruling on the chamber floor is confirmed, the losing party forfeits a 2 hour caucus timeout.
Comment by Ronnie Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 2:58 pm
- AFSCME Steward -,
Might be for the win …
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 3:05 pm
The Designated Hitter Rule — Illinois campaigns can identify one person permitted to forge signatures on behalf of the candidate.
The (Expletive) Golden Rule — One may not compare a politician to Rod Blagojevich unless and until said politician has been indicted.
The Rule of Thumb — Politicians are banned from pointing fingers at each other regarding Illinois’ financial woes. They must now point with their thumbs..
The Rule of Threes — Illinois politicians must specify A) what they’re going to do, and B) how they’re going to pay for it.
The Rooney Rule — Don’t pick Paul Vallas as your running mate.
The Rule of Pseudonyms — Anyone who posts an argument on CapFax without coming up with a nickname can be very safely ignored, and is deemed to have lost the argument before it has begun.
The Rule of Gravity — Illinois politics is much too important to be taken seriously.
– MrJM
Comment by MrJM Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 3:08 pm
No scream rule.
Opera lessons for those who rehearse their screams of outrage.
Mandatory caucus fight song serenades by repeat offenders.
Comment by walker Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 3:25 pm
If you either:
a) Call somebody a hypocrite; or
b) Demand a public apology for some perceived slight,
then you forever forfeit all First Amendment freedom of speech.
Ok, maybe that is a bit extreme.
But not by much.
Comment by Smoggie Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 3:29 pm
- Smoggie -,
There are hypocrites, so no one can point them out? I guess you take eveyone at their word, even if the facts say otherwise?
Yikes!
Anypne who answers a direct question with talking points that have nothing do do with the topic of the question, or what the answer to the question may be must end their deflection with;
“I don’t want to answer your question so I hope I bored you enough to let me move on from it.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 3:44 pm
- MrJM -,
You are classic!
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 3:46 pm
Until Paul Vallas moves back to Illinois and begins campaigning, Scott Lee Cohen serves as Pat Quinn’s running mate.
Comment by Formerly Known As... Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 3:54 pm
Lazy political reporters should be barred from calling the same two or three academians for reactions when significant political events occur. Nearly all of them dish out the same tired responses, and few of them would have a clue about a modern campaign. Further, in their academic cocoons, they are as likely to encounter an average voter as they would a flamingo.
Comment by LincolnLounger Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 4:08 pm
Throwing stuff on the House Floor will require 25 hours of community service as a preschool aide.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 4:11 pm
Every serious race must have a monthly “beer summit” with thier opponent.
No staff, no family, no reporters, no phones, no recording devices, no record.
Share 2 beverages, and just talk to each other, no campaign stuff.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 4:12 pm
Any legislator or elected official who calls pension cuts “pension reform” will have their pension calculated based on Bruce Rauner’s definition of the minimum wage.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 4:14 pm
AWillyWord Con$ulting is designated as the “Official State Consulting Firm.”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 4:16 pm
===AWillyWord Con$ulting is designated as the “Official State Consulting Firm.” ===
Why did I have an image of the American Idol judges watching Ads, Debates ….lol
A 500 word essay on “The Importance of Edmund Burke” must be turned into the House Clerk or Senate Secretary for any Mushroom voting “Present”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 4:20 pm
Everyone in the General Assembly pushes their own buttons to vote just like on Jeopardy.
Comment by Jake From Elwood Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 4:28 pm
No speaking out of both corners of one’s mouth. Period. Take a stand and stick to it–kind of like Marriage: for better or for worse!
Comment by Just The Way It Is One Friday, Jan 10, 14 @ 4:44 pm