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* Via Lauren FitzPatrick, we have the latest incarnation of the Rauner campaign’s “Quinnocchio”…
* The Question: Caption?
posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:37 pm
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After the close call in March, Mike Z is demoted to mascot.
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:39 pm
“Yep, these are the same tights the last guy was wearing…”
Looks like Bruce spent more on his watch than the get up.
Comment by haverford Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:41 pm
Stanley Kubrick called. He wants his ***** mask from A Clockwork Orange back.
Also, what’s with the 5:00 shadow?
Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:43 pm
As a part of his creating jobs plan, Bruce Rauner announces a new initiative to make Illinois the “cartoon mascot impersonator” capitol of the world.
Comment by AFSCME Steward Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:44 pm
I wonder why dating women is so hard?
Comment by FormerParatrooper Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:46 pm
Secretly, that guy is rooting for Quinn so he can start making $10/hr.
Comment by Nonplussed Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:46 pm
Just praying the check doesn’t bounce
Comment by Stones Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:47 pm
Man who forgot to take his meds attends Quinn appearance.
Comment by AFSCME Steward Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:48 pm
“I’ve got no strings! And even less dignity!”
Comment by Ron Burgundy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:48 pm
Brilliant campaign tactics like this, but yet the ILGOP keeps losing elections. Strange dat.
Comment by Smoggie Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:48 pm
Yeah, Quinnocchio during the week. Liberty Tax Statue of Liberty gig on the weekend. Just paying the bills, man.
Comment by zatoichi Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:51 pm
Terrence Goggin appears!
Comment by No Buddies Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:51 pm
Oswego Willy pays off on Election Day wager.
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:51 pm
Quinnochinno: a campaign character created by an adult who says he has the answers to Illinois’ problems.
Comment by AFSCME Steward Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:52 pm
“Who ordered the ‘SMedium’ costume?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:52 pm
“I am wearing these boots because the shoes that came with the costume just looked silly…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:54 pm
Page 6 of the Rauner Employee Manual: “You will be paid minimum wage. You will wear tights. You lousy 99.99%er.”
Comment by southside johnny Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:54 pm
Hey…HEY! They’re lederhosen, not a onesie, bub!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:55 pm
“This week it’s Bill Brady’s turn, then Rutherford, and we will have Dillard next… after some … modifications.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:57 pm
“I have had worse gigs. Ever been a Muppet? Still have nightmares…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:58 pm
Another “new” politician making a mockery out of voter intelligence. Bruce is a fast learner. Thanks for lowering yourself.
Comment by Anthony Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:58 pm
“Please don’t ask where the nose was before I put it on my face.”
Comment by Grandson of Man Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:00 pm
“If Bruce wins, I’m in line to run CMS…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:01 pm
“No, no. Bruce is the Adult running for governor…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:02 pm
“I am earning extra credit at Payton Prep for my government class…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:03 pm
Let your conscious be your guide.
Comment by lathamplace4 Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:04 pm
“It’s tough being a wooden boy, it’s tough. Just last week I got sick. I did. The doctor told me I had shingles…. shingles. Wooden boy has shingles…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:05 pm
“My uncle is wooden too. Yep. He sleeps alot. Some say he sleeps like a log. Log. Sleeps like a log…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:07 pm
“When Bruce Rauner lies, something else on me grows… My eyelashes… What were you thinking?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:08 pm
“…no, that’s when Bruce tells the truth…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:09 pm
Don’t they know Quinnocchio needs to have a purple tie?
Comment by Stones Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:09 pm
Still beats the Squeezy gig…
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:09 pm
“Quinnochio, how did I not think of that!” said Tio Hardiman.
Comment by bottom rung. Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:10 pm
“The man is a Genius, he can make me come alive out of carving me from wood and get my vision 20/20? Some ‘miracle’…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:10 pm
In a shocking move to get back at the Governor for dumping her, Sheila Simon protests outside a Quinn event.
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:11 pm
gotta spend 2 hours in make up every event. Takes most of that just for the legs.
Comment by A guy... Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:11 pm
By the way, Quinnocchio’s holding a sign saying he cut 600m from education AND nose is long. So he is lying.
Which means the Rauner campaign’s argument is that Quinn DIDN’T cut $600m from education.
Nice work, chaps.
Comment by haverford Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:12 pm
The hiking boots are right out of the Rauner playbook, no?
Comment by Jake From Elwood Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:12 pm
I’m sure glad the biggest lies came after the weather changed. This costume would’ve been cold the past 3 months.
Comment by A guy... Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:13 pm
“I went to the eye doctor to get contacts. Yeah, went in sat down, and the eye doctor asked me to read the 2nd line from the bottom. Told the doctor I can’t … I have a splinter in my eye… Splinter….in my eye. I’m made if wood people…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:13 pm
“I was afraid to take this gig. Yeah. Thought about it for days. I was petrified….”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:15 pm
Looks like Tom Ricketts lost his opening game bet.
Comment by Buzzie Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:16 pm
“Bruce Rauner is a great boss, great. No pressure, out here free wheeling. If it doesn’t work, he said he knows of a house or five that needs some deck wood replaced so, I work real hard…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:17 pm
Net worth 2 billion
Cost of buying primary 7 million
Daily expense of shame character $200
Being too cheap to have a sign made professionally,…priceless.
Comment by the Patriot Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:17 pm
“No, you are thinking of ‘Woody’ from ‘Toy Story’… No we’re not related….”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:18 pm
Citing solidarity with other wooden boys, Charlie McCarthy announces he’s supporting Rauner.
Comment by AFSCME Steward Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:19 pm
“Bruce is tough. Yeah, Bruce knows its important to lay the wood to Quinn, so…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:19 pm
“Evelyn, watch out for my puppet strings laying on the groubd there…EVELYN!..”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:21 pm
Okay, this takes me back to my childhood, when I dressed up as the Blue Fairy for Halloween. I would be happy to return to that character on behalf of the Quinn campaign…
(Best Mae West imitation: “You bet I could turn him into a real boy…”)
Comment by Soccermom Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:23 pm
“Bruce paid Geppetto $7.25 an hour to make me, but he made me in Indiana, so that was ok…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:24 pm
“Yep. Dartmouth, Class of 2013. No, I had 3 interviews…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:26 pm
“Hey! How much is Quinn payin’ you to be Squeezy? You get $10 an hour!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:27 pm
For this I have a Masters Degree??!!
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:28 pm
“Before Bruce rescued me, I had a donkey tail and donkey ears, so I owe him, k?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:31 pm
Borrowing from the movie Roxanne…
“Oooh, how original! Most billionaires just have their teeth capped.”
Comment by Stuff happens Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:32 pm
“…no, that’s ‘Peter Pan’… ‘Cinderella’… no, there are 8 of them, and it’s ‘Snow White’… ‘Mary Poppins’! … Ding you know your Disney fairy tales, it’s a play on ‘Pinnoccio’…I know, funny, right?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:34 pm
- Stuff happens -,
Good stuff, and great “20″ one liners ever. Some might be too “blue” here, but I was on that train with you.
“Geppetto is a funny guy, real funny, told me when I get to Chicago, don’t take any wooden nickels…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:36 pm
“Excuse me. Yes. Sorry. I tell everyone I am a little wooden boy, and some snicker and then ask ‘Jason Plummer?’ and laugh and laugh. I don’t get it.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:39 pm
Can you hold this sign for a minute? I ate a Taco Bell breakfast!
Comment by Nonplussed Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:40 pm
. o O ( I really nobody has actually read the book, because they might think we’re saying Quinn is an epic hero who could experience a political rebirth)
Comment by Stuff happens Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:41 pm
OW on a roll…here, lemme help a little OW…you will never write this….
Vote Rauner - he wood spruce things up.
Vote Rauner - you’ll never be board.
Anyway, the “shingles” joke - perfection. I keep seeing the word “Quinnochio” and I keep wondering if it a really small town deep in Southern Illinois named after a battle in the Mexican-American war I have never heard about.
Comment by anonymoose Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:41 pm
Another fine example of political discourse in the state of Illinois
Comment by Dee Lay Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:42 pm
Is Joe Wiegand back?
Comment by Michael Westen Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:46 pm
- anonymoose -,
Thanks, appreciate that. The more the merrier, jump in the water’s fine.
“I was going to get a tattoo. Yep. Quinnochio was going to get a tattoo. It was going to be a lightning bolt and under it the word ‘Wonderboy’…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:46 pm
“I wanted the sign to say ‘I chopped…’, but the humor went right over Rauner’s head.”
Comment by Maze Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:47 pm
“I am a block off the Chip Englander”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:48 pm
“What?! No, that is not hair on the top of my head. Does hair grow on wood? No. Yeah, it’s a fungus. I am taking a medicine for it…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:50 pm
“If I do poorly, I will get benched. No. I will literally become a bench, I’m made if wood, keep up!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:53 pm
“I have to wear clothes, but not got the reasons you think. The SPF on wood stain is just not going to keep me from fading, so…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:54 pm
“This is a family affair for me. This sign was my Aunt Francine… She was a card… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:56 pm
“Rauner made me put permanent black marker on my legs. However, he did say wearing a Carhart and an $18 watch was way worse to get off his skin. I feel bad for the rich.”
Comment by Almost the Weekend Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:58 pm
“Frankly, I didn’t see this coming when Billionaire Bruce called and said he wanted to hire me as part of his plan to bring more good jobs to Illinois.”
Comment by OldSmoky2 Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:06 pm
Rauner fancying himself an artist, ensured Quinnochio’s legs have the look of real, authentic wood. If there’s one thing Rauner knows, it’s how to look real and authentic.
Comment by Jimbo Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:07 pm
Bruce Rauner, ever frugal, enlisted his four year-old nephew Timmy to paint Quinnochio’s signs. The cost… A bowl of Cocoa Puffs and a candy bar to be named later.
Comment by Jimbo Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:09 pm
“Hey, Quinnochio, leave the stuffed hunting dog alone…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:09 pm
“Sorry I was late. The metal screws and hinges kept setting off the metal detector…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:11 pm
“According to the rings, I am 73 years old and still a boy…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:13 pm
“My cousin is an actor too. He was the steak that went through the heart of ‘Vampire 6′ in the TV show ‘Vampire Diaries’… I think it’s on Fox. Powerful performance…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:15 pm
lol stupid auto-correct…
——————–
“Sorry, I got a fingernail under one of my splinters, yowzers that hurts..,”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:17 pm
Haven’t read the commentary, but.
This is far dumber than Squeezy.
Looks like amateur hour at the local school.
And some dude actually took money to do this? That should say something about a ‘living wage’.
Comment by sal-says Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:19 pm
“Working for Bruce stinks. I hope that Slytherin Jim Oberweis can ‘Harry Potter’ me into a real boy…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:19 pm
Oswego Willy, I’m pretty sure there’s no prize for the most number of comments on a thread. Give it a rest already. Or at least make the comments funny, please.
Comment by Enough already Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:20 pm
“When I thought ‘Raunerbot’ I always thought more ‘Tin Man’ …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:21 pm
Stu Levine is just happy to be back on anyone’s payroll.
Comment by Jeff Trigg Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:27 pm
===I’m pretty sure there’s no prize for the most number of comments on a thread.===
“Pretty sure”? So there’s a chance…
“Rauner should have tabled this idea…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:31 pm
The final votes are in, and it’s Quinn… By a nose.
Comment by Stuff happens Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:33 pm
Oddly, of all of Oswego Willy’s comments on this thread, the one that made me laugh out loud was this one:
“Pretty sure”? So there’s a chance…”
Well played!
Comment by Smoggie Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:33 pm
“Everyone’s a critic” - Geppetto, sculptor.
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:37 pm
Headline - BR creates another industry with one
job. Wonder if he is paid minimum wage.
Comment by Mr. T Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 5:22 pm
How about a contest to come up with an appropriate response? My entry is Darth Rauner.
Comment by George Lucas Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 5:34 pm
Reminds me of back when Pat Quinn himself used to wear “sandwich board” signs and pass petitions outside of grocery stores for his favorite reform causes. Does anyone still have a photo of that?
Comment by Fearless Freep Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 5:41 pm
Animated Attacks Continue in Governor’s Race
Comment by Yellow Dog Democrat Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 7:16 pm
PS Chipper, next time you decide to launch a big branding campaign, make sure someone else doesn’t already own the twitter account, and it doesn’t include a bunch of racist, homophobic rants.
Good luck explaining @Quinnocchio.
Comment by Yellow Dog Democrat Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 7:30 pm
OW, no wait Oswego Willy (respect) you are killing me. Laughing out loud at every single one. You should take that on the road. I’m going to keep checking back for more.
But as a Rauner supporter, this makes me sick. Absolutely ridiculous. Stupid. Makes me feel stupid. Who’s brilliant idea was this in the Rauner camp? Because it sure does not speak to me or anyone else that I know.
Comment by allknowingmasterofracoondom Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 8:52 pm
Willy, did you go home from work? Nothing since 4:37. Rich needs to give you the price for the most posts; all good, but anonymous @3:11 wins…
Comment by downstate commisssioner Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:04 pm
(Tips cap to -allknowingmasterofracoondom -)
Thanks.
This whole thing, for me, reminds me of the Dopey “yogurt” joke.
I dunno what the Rauner Crew is thinking. In complete truth, I feel the real Bruce Rauner began to emerge on Election Night, and being unhinged, then the yogurt joke(s) as a way to connect, then Quinnochio. Instead of being seen as an adult, Rauner comes across like a wealthy aloof amateur, and his money is going to speak, exactly how he wants now, amateur or not.
I would hope they recalibrate. But cheese and amateur with money, will trump professionals and professionalism and being and adult. Just a thought.
“Caption?”
“I am a fan of Bruce’s ,(nose grows), Big fan, (nose grows more), I’ll just be quiet now…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:08 pm
I had a Family Event, sorry I went away.
My favorite is probably…
===….( I really {think} nobody has actually read the book, because they might think we’re saying Quinn is an epic hero who could experience a political rebirth)===
Nice take…
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:11 pm
The costume reminds me of a scene from Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange.
Comment by Carl Nyberg Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:14 pm
“So, when I’m done here, you want to get a cup of coffee or something? …No, these are the only clothes I got… Maybe another time then?…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:38 pm
When I look at these candidates I see nothing but pontential. you have pontential… you have pont….
Comment by anon Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:41 pm
“Never trust people who promise to make you rich in a day. They are generally crazy swindlers.” - Carlo Collodi, author of Pinocchio.
Great one for 100
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:42 pm
“And to think…I gave up the Liberty Tax costume for this gig. Oh, the Actor’s life for me, Hurumph!”
Comment by D.P. Gumby Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 10:53 pm
Guys…this is straight out of the Mike Z playbook. He had a creepy doctor for David Gill and a shark for Alexi Giannoulias. How many bad ideas can one operative have?
Comment by Gus Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 6:58 am
Skeptic gives Oswego Willie a rimshot and gives the waitress a good tip. OW, you’ll be here all week, right?
Comment by Skeptic Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 9:07 am
…try the Veal…
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 9:10 am