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* CNNMoney…
Cities across North America are pulling out the stops to become the home of Amazon’s second headquarters. […]
In an effort to bring HQ2 to Tucson and Southern Arizona, economic development group Sun Corridor loaded a 21-foot Saguaro cactus onto a truck to deliver to Amazon. […]
Birmingham, Alabama has installed three massive Amazon delivery boxes around the city to coincide with the launch of Mayor William Bell’s formal bid for the second headquarters. The city plans to add more boxes, too. […]
Amazon, Georgia? Earlier this week, the Stonecrest City Council in Georgia voted to de-annex 345 acres of its land if selected for Amazon’s second home. The new area would be called the city of Amazon.
* Kinda reminds me of something…
No, in this case, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.
* The Question: What “futile and stupid gesture” would you recommend for Chicago in this Amazon HQ2 sweepstakes?
Have fun.
posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:32 pm
Sorry, comments are closed at this time.
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I dunno, propose they take over the old POST OFFICE headquarters?
Comment by OkComputer Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:34 pm
We could give them thier own drone port, ATC people and mark out restricted flight corridors only they could use. Maybe the former Mayor will allow Meigs Field to be opened?
Comment by FormerParatrooper Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:36 pm
Raise the city sales tax to 20%?
Comment by Blue dog dem Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:36 pm
The City launches 1,000 drones into the sky that drop Amazon delivery boxes that simultaneously explode midair with confetti, with The Bean covered in an Amazon delivery box as the center point for the confetti drop.
Comment by gadfly Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:38 pm
Change the name of Weigley Field and Wrigleyville to Amazon Field and Amazonville
Comment by A modest proposal Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:39 pm
it takes about 150 years for a saguaro to reach 20 feet in height.
Why not just drive to Seattle and chop down a sequoia?
Comment by Free Set of Steak Knives Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:39 pm
all they’re really looking for is tax breaks and anti-worker legislation.
Comment by Homer J. Quinn Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:40 pm
Rename the Chicago River the Amazon River #2
Comment by BuckinIrish Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:41 pm
Declare all Amazon warehouse facilities in Illinois exempt from ‘Race to $15/hr’ requirements.
Comment by Blue dog dem Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:41 pm
A Semi-Trailer full of Hot Doug’s encased meat products…
There are no finer words in the English language than encased meats my friend.
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:41 pm
Give them exorbitant tax credits for something they were already going to do for business reasons.
Comment by Moderate Condor Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:42 pm
Give them navy pier but rename it amazon pier…..
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:42 pm
A water tanker full of Chicago River water dyed green to be dumped in some water feature near their HQ.
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:43 pm
Paint a Smile on the Thompson Center.
Comment by Dome Gnome Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:43 pm
Eliminate the motor fuel tax on trucks delivering Amazon goods.
Comment by Blue dog dem Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:43 pm
Change Work Comp causation standards for Amazon owned facilities.
Comment by Blue dog dem Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:44 pm
The responses here make me think of a different line from a movie..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syV2LkGpQB0
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:44 pm
Get the band back together, pay off the orphanage’s back taxes.
Comment by Nick Name Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:45 pm
Free parking anywhere near Chicago.
Comment by Blue dog dem Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:46 pm
Rename Guaranteed Rate Field to Amazon Field. The state owns it right? Pretty much everyone would be happy about that.
Comment by TopHatMonocle Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:47 pm
Legalize weed so we can attempt to compete with Denver.
Comment by cdog Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:47 pm
Capital Fax will be renamed Amazonpolinewz and only run free ads for whole foods.
Comment by Ghost Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:48 pm
Make them exempt from Aldermen and political fund raisers
Comment by DuPage Saint Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:49 pm
Change the name of Wrigley Field to Amazon Field
Comment by Almost the Weekend Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:50 pm
Paint the old Post Office to look like a giant Amazon Box and then give it to them. Rename all of the pro sports franchises “The Amazons.”
Comment by Pot calling kettle Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:51 pm
Build a monorail…
Naw, that’s more of a Shelbyville idea…
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:55 pm
Massive subsidy to build it in Cairo. Put it where it can actually be life changing.
Comment by dr. reason a, goodwin Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:57 pm
Put Amazon ball caps on the Art Institute lions, and paint Gen. Sheridan’s horse’s “ding-a-ling” Amazon black and gold.
Comment by Six Degrees of Separation Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:58 pm
Contract with Jeff Bezos to build a tube train to the newly built third airport near Peotone.
Comment by Skeptic Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:01 pm
More like blue dog. Ha.
Offer that the “Amazon Clause” will be added to every ILCS chapter exempting Amazon from it.
Comment by cdog Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:02 pm
Present Bezos with an honorary degree from Chicago State University.
Comment by City Zen Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:02 pm
Paint all CTA vehicles as if they were Amazon delivery trucks.
Light up the Hancock and Sears with Amazon colors.
Have Oprah do a video where she tells random Chicagoans..
“You get a package, you get a package, you get a package”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:02 pm
Do what Amazon does - promise an unbelievable bargain on Nike running shoes, but deliver imported Chinese Nyke running shoes.
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:02 pm
We could give them the Thompson Center and an endless supply of weed.
Comment by Gruntled University Employee Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:03 pm
The mayor and city council agrees to resign effective with the signing of the contract. Give them as much of the west side as they need to get the job done.
Comment by NeverPoliticallyCorrect Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:04 pm
Do what Amazon does - promise them lake front property, but give them lake front property on Wolf Lake
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:05 pm
Chicago could annex the Grundy County village of Mazon and add an A.
Comment by We'll See Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:06 pm
Meh, I think you let them choose their own Alderman and create a 51st Ward that has as its Alderman the “Transportation” and “Aviation” chairman, and the vice chair for “Revenue” where that Amazon Alderman get to hang with the Powerful Chairman and his Justice wife and they will all be over the moon about something or another.
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:06 pm
Tell them Wisconsin is a park and give them free passes for unlimited use.
Comment by Pot calling kettle Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:06 pm
call a constitutional convention…
Comment by ughh.. Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:08 pm
Tell them that the Bears will take a knee for them at their next game.
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:09 pm
Free abortions
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:10 pm
Legalize marijuana, but only for Amazon employees. I mean, what Amazon employee in their right mind will want to work somewhere that marijuana is still illegal, when they can work in Seattle and partake all they want.
Comment by Don’t Worry, Be Happy Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:10 pm
I think One Man is on to something….
https://youtu.be/ZDOI0cq6GZM
Comment by We'll See Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:11 pm
Amazon, what’s it like to be the prettiest girl at the dance?
Comment by ughh.. Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:12 pm
Run up $8B in unpaid bills trying to enact term limits.
Comment by perrier Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:13 pm
We’ll bring in a small mountain range and put it in Chicago Heights.
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:13 pm
Build an private island into Lake Michigan for the HQ like Dubai did.
Comment by zatoichi Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:14 pm
We’re a Trump-free zone
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:14 pm
No Confederate statues to tear down
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:15 pm
We’ll name the next hurricane to strike Chicago after Bezos.
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:16 pm
Produce a video on Georgia, Tucson, and Alabama. Then take them on a real tour of Chicago.
Offer to let the flora along the Cal Sag grow to an unruly level and call it the Bezos River.
Finally, stand on top of the old Post Office and simply let him spin around and notice a huge work force, a huge market, and half a country on every side he looks.
Comment by A guy Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:17 pm
Thanks to Global Warming, it no longer snows here - promise.
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:17 pm
===We’re a Trump-free zone ===
Except for that building with the yuuuge T R U M P on it.
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:18 pm
We’re voting out Rauner.
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:19 pm
The city of chicago and cook county will now be stable regulatory environments
Comment by anonnamee Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:20 pm
New constitution requiring future governors to be honest.
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:20 pm
They get to keep what they find in Lake Calumet.
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:21 pm
Amazon tax on water
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:24 pm
Every Amazon employee gets a free armed bodyguard.
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:25 pm
We’re near Wheaton, home of Jeanne Ives.
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:27 pm
==They get to keep what they find in Lake Calumet.==
Dude, if that includes the oil, it’ll be the biggest corporate giveaway in State history.
Comment by A guy Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:30 pm
The aldermen sign legislation to appoint Jeff Bezos Mayor-For-Life and rename the Willis Tower the Amazon Tower.
Comment by Tyvan The Terrible Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:32 pm
A guy 3:17. Exactly right.
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:43 pm
Offer free bulletproof vests
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:46 pm
Toga!
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:54 pm
Offer Mike Glennon and Marcus Cooper, straight up.
Ryan Pace, too.
Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:56 pm
“What ‘futile and stupid gesture’ would you recommend for Chicago in this Amazon HQ2 sweepstakes?”
Offer to add a fifth star to the Chicago flag for Amazon — but then tell them we had to take away a star when rating because HQ2 wasn’t the size we thought it would be.
– MrJM
Comment by @MisterJayEm Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:57 pm
Have NBC and Dick Wolf create…
“Chicago Amazon”… A weekly drama that’s interwoven with “deliveries” to Chicago Fire, PD, and Med.
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:00 pm
A guy the only oil in Lake Calumet is the stuff that got dumped there…
Wait a minute
We can be rich, rich I tell ya…
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:01 pm
Rename Chicago to Amazon and call south Chicago the Amazon Jungle.
Comment by Crispy Critter Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:07 pm
Double down. Give them both the Thompson Center and McCormick Place. Exempt both buildings from property taxes as long as Amazon uses them, plus any house in the city bought and occupied by an Amazon employee.
Hey, it beats another TIF district.
Comment by RNUG Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:07 pm
–..call south Chicago the Amazon Jungle.–
Proud of that one?
Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:09 pm
Free World Series tickets if the White Sox and Cubs ever meet in the WS.
Comment by Joe M Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:10 pm
Help produce the new hit TV show “Chicago Bundlers”
Comment by walker Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:16 pm
Crispy Critter, you do know it’s 2017, right?
Comment by We'll See Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:22 pm
An Amazon parade. after all, Chicago holds them for every other tribe.
Comment by Amalia Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:23 pm
Provide 50% of all Amazon financial incentives in the form of Chicago Public School Bond issues.
Such a deal…..
Just think, could be used as year-end bonuses for their employees. Or as specialty brand packing materials in their fulfillment centers. Or as a ‘Sellout’ item on Woot.
Comment by Judgement Day Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:26 pm
Agree to buy all CPS text books from Amazon. Come to think of it, does Amazon even sell books any more?
Comment by Skeptic Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:31 pm
Emblazon the Amazon logo onto the side of the Sears Tower as an example of what might be.
Comment by Chicago Cynic Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:40 pm
These are just too funny for words. Bravo to all.
“And you think FoxConn got a deal? Now here’s a Chicago-style deal … “(MRE - BVR - MJM)
Comment by dbk Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:47 pm
Do everything that was done to make Chicago’s Olympic bid so successful. Oh, wait….
Comment by West Side the Best Side Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:57 pm
Toga party.
Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:58 pm
Take a trip to the Amazon headquarters to look around but not meet anybody. Oh wait, 1.4% already did that.
Comment by Huh? Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 5:01 pm
Let Bezos throw a giant deep dish pizza pie in Rahm’s face.
Comment by JoanP Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 5:12 pm
Give them comm eds nonperforming brownfield asset in Zion. Call it “Desirable lakefront property.”
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 5:19 pm
Offer pension plans
Comment by Anon57 Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 5:52 pm
Offer up Rahm’s services as Amazon’s new full time Director of Governmental Relations.
Comment by Judgement Day Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 6:07 pm
Give them the land that Chicago State University is on & every employee gets a Masters Degree from CSU.
Comment by Interim Retiree Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 6:48 pm
Think my previous post was taken the wrong way. I meant nothing racist if that is what it seems.
Comment by Crispy Critter Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 7:01 pm
Bring back Bozo’s Circus on WGN, but rename it “Bezos’ Jerkus”.
Comment by Six Degrees of Separation Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 8:15 pm
Have Bezos meet and greet the famous original “Amazon Bertha” at the Baton Show Lounge in River North. Top that Georgia,Tucson,and Alabamy.
Comment by DeseDemDose Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 9:24 pm
Appoint Jack Franks to the committee.
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 9:44 pm
Soda delivered thru Amazon not subject to sin tax.
Comment by Blue dog dem Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 9:53 pm
I vote for O W at 4:00 pm - Chicago Amazon
Comment by cc Thursday, Oct 5, 17 @ 12:49 am