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* Let’s say you own a restaurant near the Statehouse and you want to attract political types.
Your assignment is to come up with clever menu items based on the governor, the speaker, the Senate president and Mayor Daley.
posted by Rich Miller
Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:17 am
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Crow would have to be a special….
Comment by 618er Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:33 am
My item for the “Gov Special” is this.
First, the waiter will suggest a new item that is on special for the day. The waiter will explain how different this item is than any other item they have ever had before.
Upon ordering the “Gov Special”, the waiter will demand $25,000 just for the privilege of catching a glimpse of said sandwich.
Following payment, the waiter will only offer reasons why the sandwich can’t be served. Other items on the menu are holding up progress, the restaurant staff is in need of “change”, and lastly that the cooks have all been relocated to Harrisburg (where they need chefs).
Comment by How Ironic Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:33 am
The governor’s chitterlings cooked with potatoes. The speaker’s porterhouse steak. The Senate president’s black-eyed peas. Finally Da Mayor’s corned beef with cabbage.
Comment by Levois Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:42 am
governor- peanut butter and banana sandwiches w/Old Style in honor of his 2 loves, Elvis adn the (first place) Cubs
the speaker-Eel Sushi-unagi-he is so slick
the Senate president- pilot fish
Mayor Daley-gruel with potato Vodka for COmrad Daley
Comment by Wumpus Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:46 am
Carp and them more Carp.
Comment by Gov. Psychotic Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:48 am
The daily special would be “arsenic & old lace”.
Comment by Dan S. a Voter and Cubs Fan Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:48 am
What ever Hannah Montana likes.
Comment by 33 1/3 Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:50 am
I think you should add Patrick Fitzgerald to the list too and add delivery charges to the Federal Court House.
Comment by Illinois Tollway Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:56 am
The only menu item would be Mulligan Stew. There is no recipe; you just throw in whatever you have at the moment. Patrons can take it or leave it.
Comment by One of the 35 Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:59 am
MJM: “The Usual,” Chicken with peppers, two side salads with house dressing, served on a meat cleaver.
RRB: “The Unusual,” Footlong hotdog sprinkled with Ritalin, served on a full-length mirror.
EJJr.: Whatever Rod’s having.
RMD: Whatever Rod isn’t having.
Comment by Rich Miller Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:59 am
Menu items:
The G-Rod AV Burger…comes standard with lettuce, pickle and tomato. However, patrons may modify, add, and exchange items to their hearts’ content. Hell, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a burger after all of the “improvements” are completed!
The Jones Jr. “welfare burger”… Customers may add any condiments they desire, provided that final product is exactly like the G-Rod burger. Cash and food stamps accepted.
The MJM “mystery burger”… Served when the kitchen decides that it is good and ready. The chef has absolute discretion regarding ingredients. The quality ranges from unpalatable to deadly poisonous.
Comment by unspun Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:04 am
Rodder: “Lite special” A flaky roll served with fake bacon and lite mayo, $25,000
Mikey: A thick porterhouse steak covered with little mushrooms, $ a small donation to DPI
Emil: Pulled pork with chitterlings, $39.95
Comment by Anonymous45 Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:07 am
RMD Special: A sampling of Chicago’s best: a beef Sangwich juicy wit hot peppers, Vienna hot dog wit everyting, a deep dish sausage pizza and a pitcher of Old Style $ priceless
Comment by Anonymous45 Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:14 am
I think the New Salem Resturant say it best with a “Govenor Rod POORBOY”
Comment by WhoKnew Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:15 am
These days, I think a “Suicide Special” of hemlock served with an anti-freeze chaser would sell faster than anything.
Comment by Linus Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:42 am
Governor: The BlagoDog, an unprepared, half-baked hot dog. Definitely not kosher.
Daley: The Daley Double. Chicagoans keep coming back for this kool-aid-based skull-popper. Truth be told, no one really likes this sour mixture, but another drink could be worse.
MJM: The Velvet Hammer, a smooth, icy beverage with a devastating kick.
Jones: The Food Stamp Porkchop, stuffed with whatever we can get our hands on.
Pat Fitz: Angler Pat’s Catch of the Day. Prepared by twisting slowly in the wind as heat is progressively increased until it squeals. This dish really sings!
Comment by wordslinger Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:44 am
Rod - Chicken stir-fry - Chef promises a chicken in every pot to stir your appetite but then can’t deliver any chicken so all you get is some overcooked veggies, bland sauce and sticky rice, leaving you feeling empty and still hungry. Unfortunately, it also gives you diarrhea.
MJM - Steak au poivre - A nice big juicy medium rare steak coated with a hot pepper sauce. Top of the line Illinois corn fed beef, but don’t try it if you have a delicate stomach.
Jones - Pork Sandwich - Slow cooked pork with lots of smokey flavor, best served piled on. Remember, pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.
Daley - A Chicago style beef sandwich - What else? “Where’s the beef?”
Everyday Special: Cap Fax Chili - Three Alarm version. Gotta generate some real heat for blogging.
Comment by anon sequitor Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:50 am
Milorod’s Suprise Three Pound Cheesey Burger - The suprise is not meat, just a bunch of cheese. The best part is you don’t pay of it, the next guy to sit at your table is given the bill.
Comment by Diamond Dog Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:54 am
Governor: Just Desserts
Sen. President: Grease
Speaker: Piece of the Pie
Mayor Daley: Whole Enchilada
Comment by Captain Flume Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:55 am
I’d suggest a horseshoe sandwich. It will feed four and be just what they need to get through the “stuff” they have to go through to get anything done in Springfield.
Comment by Irrelevant-American Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:12 am
Governor: Impeachment Pie
Comment by Speaking At Will Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:15 am
A Blagojevich sandwich:
Plenty of baloney topped with piles pork and surrounded with bread from state contractors….
Comment by Political observer Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:21 am
The Governor’s special: Rocky Mountain Oysters, for ____ virility
Da. Mare’s special: Tripe soup and a horseburger, for his affinity for all things French.
Comment by Plutocrat03 Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:33 am
Rod–I would not recommend that anything be served family style.
Emil–anything cooked on or with an electric device. Let’ s amend the tariff!
Madigan–dry white toast, no butter and no jam.
Daley–foie gras. He has a penchant for force-feeding things through.
Comment by Jake from Elwood Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:46 am
It really doesn’t matter what’s on the menu. The governor will send the meal back with suggestions on how to better amend it.
Comment by Jake from Elwood Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:50 am
Jake-
Reheat to Taste Sweet?
Respice to Taste Nice?
And as far as a menu item for today’s shenanigan’s the Politician’s Horseshoe would seem appropriate. After eating it, everything in your system is clogged up for days, and your doctor recommends you avoid this meal altogether if possible.
Comment by Six Degrees of Separation Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 12:10 pm
Jake and Six, he’d probably just rewrite the entire menu.
Comment by Rich Miller Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 12:13 pm
Gov.’s special - Remade right: billed as a loose meat sandwich, offered free to widows, orphans, veterans and seniors. When it arrives, its two pieces of stale bread served with an autographed picture of G-rod.
Speaker’s special - leather and lace: spicey beef jerky (tough) drenched in horseradish (powerful) wrapped in a light and airy pastry (refined for all the world to see).
President’s special - Southside blind pig stew: a rare delicacy available only north of I-80 and made fresh daily on the campus of Chicago State University. The main ingredient comes only from blind porcine who happily follow the siren’s song to the slaughterhouse.
Mayor Daley - Chameleon cake: it changes colors based on who is looking at it, some thinking it looks new and progressive, others thinking it looks old and stale. The surprise, however, is inside where every so often the diner will receive a piece of bubble gum, fruit or something else so unexpected, it makes you shake your head and laugh in disbelief.
Comment by hoops fan Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 12:20 pm
“Chicago-style hot dogs”
Comment by If It Walks Like a Duck... Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 12:28 pm
I’m not sure about the other three, but to get Emil in, you had better have a dollar menu (like at McDonalds).
The man is POOR I hear. How can he POSSIBLY make ends meat on the salary of a State Senator?
I’m thinking of holding a fundraiser for the guy, so that he can continue to support his family while working at such a ridiculously low wage.
Comment by Skeeter Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:01 pm
The Blago Plate: We take absolutely nothing, then lightly bread and roll it in a puffery crust of garlic skins to produce an exotic aroma pleasing to the senses. Served with a side of empty promises and incredible ego. Our Chef recommends a Shirley Temple as the drink of choice.
The Madigan: A light offering of whatever is ready to be served today…a true chef’s table offering paired nicely with experience and a crisp full-bodied merlot.
The President’s platter: Baloney deep fried in lard with collard greens and a price increase every two years. Served with a small portion of the Blagojevich Plate on the side. Goes nicely with demands for respect in this family-owned establishment.
The Cross: Mac and cheese is this family favorite…always filling for the masses but is subtly fattening and lacks nutritional substance. Served with a Capri-Sun for all ages.
The Watson: Nobody knows what’s in this dish and unfortunately, nobody cares either.
The Daley Feast: Prepared with a lifetime of experience, this Chef’s masterpiece promises to be loved by everyone (and if you don’t you can just leave, okay!). It comes with everyone’s favorites and fills everyone up…nobody leaves hungry; particularly the Chef. Ala Carte or with savory crumbs for the suburbs.
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:31 pm
Dailey Special for the governor would be whipped potatoes and creamed corn;
For the speaker, Roast Beef served rare;
the Jones, Wisconsin Cheese Soup
and for Mayor Daley, Foie Gras of course!
Comment by Ghost Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:35 pm
“Big Mouth” Burgers all around.
Comment by Lefty Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:46 pm
They’ll all enjoy boneless (spineless?) chicken breast.
Comment by The Republicrat Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:48 pm
Just open up a Greek restuarant and be done with it.
Comment by Scooby Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:50 pm
Scooby, not sure I would want to trust the Gov with flaming saganaki if Madigan was sitting nearby….
Comment by Ghost Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:59 pm
Decades of trial-and-error research has finally enabled us to bring you the General Assembly’s Special Pork-Fed Corn!
Comment by David Starrett Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 2:02 pm
I would not recommend putting flaming food in the vicinity of the Governor’s hair.
Comment by Scooby Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 2:03 pm
Sign posted at the door: “All State House officials must pay before entering!”
Comment by Louis G. Atsaves Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 2:58 pm
- Fried Boloney Rodwich. $25,000
- House Special Sandwich: Corned Beef and Mushrooms. And a hand-peeled apple.
- The Emil-Decker: Fried Pork Tenderloin topped with grilled country-style ham and bacon — and a pay raise. Relatives’ resumes available upon request.
- The DaleyWood: Hoagie roll, stuffed with neighborhood deli selections based on who Daley is trying to manipulate that day. Served with Ragin’ hot sauce and fried Olympic rings on the side.
Comment by The Swedish Chef Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 3:39 pm
I know this doesn’t quite fit the QOTD guidelines, but in honor of last year’s budget battle, how about the House Dems Pulled Pork Sandwich — Rod’s special recipe.
Comment by the Other Anonymous Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 5:00 pm
Rod tells everyone that he ordered the best items on the menu for all then excuses himself to the restroom. Rod doesn’t return and the food never does make it to the table.
Comment by Big Mama T Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 5:39 pm
definitely foie gras for daley
Comment by Esther Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 6:40 pm
The “You ain’t seen nothing yet” steak. It weighs about a 1/4 ounce and cost $2 billion.
Comment by Jack Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:07 pm
Emil’s “Pay Raise surprise” It’ll keep you off food stamps, but its hard to swallow before November.
Comment by Jack Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:11 pm
Madigan’s Im-Peach salad. But he swear’s it wasn’t his recipe.
Comment by Jack Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:18 pm
They all need a portion of humble pie.
Comment by Disgusted Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:41 pm