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* Funniest commenter wins an adult beverage with yours truly…
posted by Rich Miller
Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:24 pm
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“God, deliver me from thy fools which surround me. Oh, and deliver a horseshoe sandwich forthwith.”
Comment by Ravenswood Right Winger Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:25 pm
“Oh Lord, please don’t let this all blow up on me…I’m tired of fetching MJM’s dry cleaning.”
Comment by titan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:28 pm
“Namaste.”
– MrJM
Comment by MrJM Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:30 pm
Dear God: As your humble servant I beseech thee to show me a burning bill that will reveal your true direction on this pension problem. Of if you are too busy, please smite Henry Bayer that he might know the Speaker’s plan is your annointed pension solution.
Comment by Give Me A Break Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:33 pm
“Thank you God for the IL GOP!”
Comment by Steven Williams Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:35 pm
happy place, happy place
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:37 pm
A Prayer to St. Jude for Hope
God of hope, come to me. Help me to know that your hope is alive in me as I offer kindness, forgiveness and tenderness to others.
I seek the inner calm that comes from trusting in you. Give me the courage to be aware of your healing presence.
May I trust that St. Jude walks with me in times of trouble, and intercedes on my behalf.
St.Jude, fill my heart with hope.
Amen
Comment by In the know Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:37 pm
Sometimes when I get nervous I put my hands in my armpits then sniff them like this…
Superstar…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:38 pm
Hail Madigan, full of grace. The Lord is thee.
Blessed art thou amongst Illinoisans,
and blessed is the fruit of thine, Lisa.
Holy Madigan, Mother of AG,
pray for us senators,
now and at the hour of our special session. Amen.
Comment by TCB Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:38 pm
It turns out using your hands to re-create the teacher voice from Peanuts did not break the stalemate.
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:39 pm
My god Ira rambles!
Comment by Spliff Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:39 pm
Mike, I was the only one who passed a pension bill with union support. Nobody else could pass one except me. You know how I did it? Every time I put the bill to a vote I said a Hail Mary and every time I said a Hail Mary I passed a bill. You believe that? It’s true, that’s the secret. You wanna try it when we go out on the lake?
Comment by Small Town Liberal Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:40 pm
“Speaker Michael J. Madigan, do you renounce Satan?”
“I do renounce him”
“…and all of his empty promises?”
“I do renounce them”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:40 pm
I could be billing at $700 an hour…but no, I had to tell Old Man Daley, sure, I’ll run…what could possibly go wrong…$700 an hour…
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:41 pm
If I have to listen to Todd say one fundamental right one more time, I’m gonna jam a pencil in my ear.
Comment by Todd Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:42 pm
If I don’t make eye contact, the guy in the red tie will never know I drank his bottled water.
Comment by Tsavo Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:42 pm
As yet again another session ended is disappointment for some, sadness for some, joy for others. All the Senate President wanted to do was put on some comfy sweatpants, turn on some folk music and read some poetry…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:43 pm
Dear Lord, please, please, please, please don’t let Mike come walking in that door.
Comment by too obvious Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:43 pm
- Sometimes when I get nervous I put my hands in my armpits then sniff them like this…
Superstar…
OneMan beat me to the punch with this one…..
Comment by Stones Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:45 pm
lawyers, guns & money, everytime.
Comment by other dude Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:46 pm
“Please, please, let McCarter or Oberweis speak against this Bill … please, Heaven above …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:47 pm
“Did I leave the iron on?”
Comment by The Captain Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:47 pm
“- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:38 pm:
Sometimes when I get nervous I put my hands in my armpits then sniff them like this…
Superstar…”
Bravo, OneMan. Bravo.
Comment by This Guy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:47 pm
“Madigan adjourned the House before us again? Noooooooooo!”
Comment by Chicago Cynic Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:47 pm
“Oh no…’Vote Countula’!… Please, please let her Math be good this time …PLEASE!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:49 pm
I just hope Mike finds that cell phone I gave him as an end of session gift…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:49 pm
I just put a blade of grass between my thumbs and…raspberries!
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:50 pm
“Open the doors, where are the people?”
Comment by D P Gumby Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:51 pm
“B-11….11 under the ‘B’ ….”
“N-42 …4-2…under the ‘N’ …”
“G-55 ….5-5…under the ‘G’ …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:54 pm
Draw or fold? How am I ever going to beat two nice pair and a joker?
https://capitolfax.com/2013/04/12/question-of-the-day-1570/
Comment by Bill White Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:56 pm
“20 Our Fathers and 20 Hail Marys for pennance!! I’ll bet Madigan got half of that. And Quinn, he should be making a Novena in Fatima. Well better start - Our Father who art in …. who’s the aide in the mini skirt?….Damn, gotta start over; Our…”
Comment by Darienite Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:59 pm
How many times have I told Silverstein not to text while legislating!
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:01 pm
“We are sooo screwed!”
Comment by BIG R. Ph. Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:06 pm
“It’s times like this I’d rather have a cold one with Jimmy DeLeo at Tavern on Rush. What’s happened to Illinois State government? It used to be so much fun when the ratings agencies didn’t notice us so much.”
Comment by Steve Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:06 pm
So a Methodist, a Catholic and a Jew are all in a room…… And I will stop right there so I don’t get banned.
Comment by Been There Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:07 pm
“I wish I was one of the 19. Nobody blames the 19. The Tribune doesn’t blame the 19. Madigan doesn’t blame the 19. Why can’t I be one of the 19? Nice paycheck, nice office, no worries. The 19 have it made.”
Comment by HenryVK Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:08 pm
If I hold my hands just right nobody can see my kazoo.
Comment by Casual Observer Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:09 pm
Cullerton: God, make my enemies look ridiculous.
God: Granted
–a paraphrase of Voltaire
Comment by I don't want to live in Teabagistan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:13 pm
Cullerton: “Dear Father in heaven, I’m not a praying man, but if you’re up there and you can hear me…
[begins crying]
Cullerton: “…show me the way… show me the way.”
(Voting ‘Bell’ Dings)
Harmon: “Get me, I’m giving out wings!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:14 pm
“Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, don’t even know a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent. We just thank you for all the races I’ve won and the $21.2 million dollars… LOVE THAT MONEY, that I have accrued over this past season…”
Comment by Sgt Schultz Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:14 pm
Wonder what Rod is doing right now…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:16 pm
Wonder what the status is of my secret tunnel in the remodel? Looking forward to using the secret tunnel.
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:20 pm
“Hawk Harrelson says the return of Gordon Beckham will end this free fall. I so want to believe it!”
Comment by David W. Aubrey Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:21 pm
This. Just. Stinks.
Comment by Alex Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:23 pm
So Mike, let me get this straight, i look bad on the pension stuff, quinn looks bad on everything, harris takes the heat for the marrage thing & you get accolades from big business & republicans and your daughter gets to be governor? Awesome, I’m in.
Comment by roger that Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:23 pm
If I short Illinois bonds I could clean up.
Comment by Cook County Commoner Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:26 pm
I wish I was a ventriloquist. But maybe if say “that darn Madigan” through my hands people will think it came from one of those guys in front of me.
Comment by Joe M Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:27 pm
What would Pate do?
Comment by Down South Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:27 pm
“Lord, forgive them. They know not what they do …”
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:28 pm
“Every time I put my line in the water I said a Hail Mary, and every time I said a Hail Mary I caught a fish…….”
We all know what happened next
Comment by nobody Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:29 pm
“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:29 pm
“why do my hands smell like cheese?”
Comment by Ahoy! Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:30 pm
Legislators react to another Chairman Harmon joke attempt.
Comment by Beardo Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:30 pm
Man I could go for some Nachos right now.
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:33 pm
Just because it was my day to bring treats and I forgot they are making me sit back here (sigh) think I can have someone go over to that triangle shaped doughnut place by Golden Corral?
How about getting everyone Golden Corral gift cards, nothing says end of session like a buffet…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:35 pm
President Cullerton learns that while God answers all prayer, he does not answer all prayer with a yes…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:36 pm
“No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.”
Comment by HenryVK Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:37 pm
Please God, let there be a living hell for Michael Madigan.
Comment by billcollectors84 Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:40 pm
SERENITY NOW, SERENITY NOW
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:40 pm
“I can’t let Ira beat my score in Candy Crush! Must. End. Session. Now!”
Comment by Sandy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:41 pm
“I’m sure glad we never banned prayer …”
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:42 pm
This is all Miller’s fault, Madigan was right him and that damn Oscar, distracting everyone with his cuteness…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:42 pm
Have to remember to tell Mike about the meeting on Tuesday…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:43 pm
You know, I used to have friends I didn’t have to pay for. Now I have this…. I don’t have a sack, maybe if I breath though my hands I won’t hyperventilate!
Comment by Exhausted Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:43 pm
“Please don’t diminish my pension.”
Comment by Schaumburg Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:43 pm
Om.Hare Krishna, hare, hare. MPC
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:43 pm
Thought bubble:
(Okay that’s Clayborne . . . but who is that guy next to him? . . . he looks like that Republican staffer, no wait. He’s a member. Someone in my caucus!! what is that guy’s name?)
Comment by siriusly Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:48 pm
“If hold the mosquito inside, it might bite me. If I let it go, it might bite someone else. If I kill the mosquito, I might go to hell. Pensions can wait people. I’ve got a real dilemma here!!!”
Comment by PFK Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:49 pm
“If we had a super, super, supermajority, it would have passed.”
Comment by Holdingontomywallet Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:51 pm
The gene said be careful what you wish for…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:57 pm
“Oh Geez, Did I feed the cat?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:57 pm
“Hey, hey…hey…listen. Pffffffffffffffffffhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! AAAAAAhahahahaha!!!!”
Comment by Empty Chair Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:58 pm
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
Comment by Rail Sitter Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:00 pm
Dear God, it’s me Johnny. I’ve been a good servant. I’m not praying for anything to happen…, but how much longer until I run the Show?
Oh…and if you could keep this between me and You, I’d appreciate it! You know how “He” gets.
Comment by Reformed Public Servant Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:03 pm
“Can’t we all just agree. I’m really tired of trying to fix Madigan’s screw ups.”
Comment by U of I state employee Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:04 pm
See, Ira, we start like this…
Comment by mr. whipple Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:06 pm
” If I could just figure out how to tax Apple’s money in Ireland for IL. I’d be a genius and solve our revenue problems. A fee might do it, yah, make them pay a fee when they don’t pay taxes.”
Comment by reveue Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:08 pm
“Today I pray to the Great Saint of Pension Reform”
Comment by NW Illinois Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:09 pm
Please God, please let me have a summer vacation. Soon. Long. Please.
Comment by been there Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:13 pm
“Ok, lets think about this again; Mike says ‘no vote’ to My Bill, I got the senate to vote on my Bill, and pass it … Start over … My passed Bill gets to the House … Mike… what does Mike do… Vote? …No, too easy, … No, sit on it …No … Adjourns? …Ok, let’s say he adjours, then what? … do I give a statement? … yeah, but what do I say … can’t whine … think Cullerton, think … Mike adjourns, I give a statement, ignore that ‘leadership’ crack …’High Road’…right? …’High Road’…. pensions …. pensions …. and where is Quinn? … Quinn doesn’t think things out like this, (explitive)… Deep breath, start over … Senate passes my Bill, goes to the House …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:16 pm
“Wake Clayborne up, tell him the job is his if he wants it.”
Comment by The Captain Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:17 pm
These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
Comment by siriusly Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:17 pm
What was I thinking ?
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:23 pm
I wish that I was Oscar Meyer Weiner….
Then everyone would be in love with me….
Comment by downstatedemo Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:33 pm
“Do I say to Mike, ‘Vote the Bill, eat the Cannoli’… ‘Pass my Bill, leave a Cannoli’… Eat a Cannoli as you Pass my Bill’?…’Adjourn the House, buy a Cannoil’? ‘Adjourn the Cannoli, Pass the Bill’?…no, think …”
(Pause)
‘Do you like Apples? I just ate a Cannoil, Pass my Bill’…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:33 pm
God do my hemorrhoids hurt and Quinn wants to talk to me when we adjourn.
I don’t which is worse.
Comment by Not Rollo Tomasi Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:37 pm
“…I don’t even like Cannoli …right?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:37 pm
Our Madigan, who art in the House,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy legislature tries,
but only fails and cries,
both in the Senate and in the House
Give us this day our daily per diem.
And give us our contributions,
as we prepare for those who campaign against us.
And lead us not into more debt,
but deliver us from spending.
For thine is Illinois politics and unless it changes a state in declining glory for ever and ever. Amen
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:40 pm
“I know he means well. Gotta tell Oberweis to stop handing out ice cream… I am starting to get Kankles …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:40 pm
“I should just close my eyes, click my heels three times, and say, there’s no place like home…”
Comment by Wensicia Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:40 pm
“I wonder if I can get an Open Carry permit for the House floor?”
Comment by Judgment Day Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:44 pm
“Meh. Over there Mapes gets them marble and gold crappers. Over here I have to pray next to Silverstein. And we are the upper chamber? Ha.”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:46 pm
OMG - Religion and the Godfather!
TCB and Anonymous at 3:40 have my votes for the best so far. OW at 1:40 is a very close second.
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:49 pm
But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of Madigan: is he the sort of man who would put the poison pill into his own pension reform bill or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison pill into his own bill, because he would know that only a great fool would pass what the House sent over. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the bill the House passed. But he must have known I was not a great fool, he would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the bill in front of me.
Comment by 47th Ward Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:49 pm
- 47th Ward -
Winner. I quit.
End of discussion.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:52 pm
“I forgot the three rules:
- You can’t win
- You can’t break even
- You can’t even quit the game”
Comment by Judgment Day Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:54 pm
Our Speaker in the Senate,
Madigan be your name.
Your bills come,
your bills will be done,
in the Senate, as it is in the House.
Give us this committee our daily opportunity to speak,
and forgive us our debts that we build,
as we also have taken money from many union lobbyists.
And lead us far into temptation,
and deliver us from doing the people’s will.
In your Speakership we pray,
Amen
Comment by Just Me Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:55 pm
47th, well played! I second Willy. Folding tent.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:01 pm
Blowing on the dice…Daddy needs a new pension bill…Daddy needs a new pension bill…Daddy needs….SNAKE EYES!…damn that Squeezy!
Comment by DoubleD Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:04 pm
OW: No more captions, I mean it
47th Ward: Anyone want a peanut?
Well played - 47th Ward -!
“How do I ensure the Other Caucus keeps that ‘Commander Galloway’…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:06 pm
Wonder if there is pie at home, pie always makes things better…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:10 pm
“John… did you hear what I said …Rep. Drury wants to run for the Illinois Senate …John?…John?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:10 pm
Please dear God let Lisa get elected so Mike will let us get something done.
Comment by 13thone Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:12 pm
Now I lay my bill down for vote,
I pray Madigan will call it up,
If it reachs the House floor,
I pray Madigan will let it pass.
Amen.
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:17 pm
Lord, I pray that you make me the equal of Mike Madigan in every way related to leading this state, with the exception of maturity, because I am thankful that I have been shown the path toward behaving like an adult.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:20 pm
Praise Madigan and pass the bills …
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:20 pm
Think back … way back. There has to be something there I can use to get the upper hand just this one time; I just wish it wasn’t so hard to remember these days.
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:24 pm
Dear God,
Make me a bird, so I can fly, far, far away!
Comment by Anon Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:27 pm
“Vince, you were right. As soon as we got control of everything, we screwed it up worse than the Repubs ever did. We miss you, buddy.”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:36 pm
I don’t think this visualization technique is working; all I see is my bill not passing …
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:36 pm
Why couldn’t the GOP win more seats the last time? Then it could have been THEIR problem too.
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:38 pm
If I retire, I wonder how long it will take to get my first pension check …
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:40 pm
“And you stretch the blade of grass real tight, blow, and it makes a really neat sound”…
Comment by Mouthy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:45 pm
47th ward wins
Comment by Other dude Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:48 pm
President Cullerton gets an idea while watching the Red Wedding episode from HBO’s A Game of Thrones….
Comment by Johnny O'Veritas Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:48 pm
You just gotta hold your nose and vote.
Comment by walkinfool Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:01 pm
with apologies to Anonymous @ 3:40 pm;
I’m an editor these days; I thought the meter needed a bit of work …
Our Madigan, who art in the House,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy legislation tries,
but only dies,
in the Senate and in the House
Give us this day our daily per diem.
And forgive the state debt,
Lead us not into borrowing,
and deliver us from downgrades.
For Illinois is thine kingdom,
where you reign with power for ever and ever.
Amen
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:07 pm
“The horror, the horror…”
Comment by wordslinger Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:11 pm
The camera’s on me … focus beyond it, don’t blink …
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:25 pm
“In the name of the Speaker, his daughter and the ComEd lobbyists …”
Comment by Betsy Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:34 pm
Lord, please let Lorne MIchaels come looking for older comics for SNL. I gotta get out of this place.
Comment by Amalia Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:43 pm
Thank God for Rich
Comment by Springfield Dem Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:51 pm
Man it stinks in here.
Comment by Pete Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:10 pm
Sweet baby Jesus..I have to pee!!!
Comment by DocNoyes Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:21 pm
Prayer, inspiring when done by a member of the clergy. Unsettling when done by an Illinois legislature.
Comment by jsg Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:28 pm
God grant me the serenity to accept the things the Speaker won’t change;
a courageous staff attorney suggest changes anyway;
and wisdom to do the opposite of whatever Quinn says.”
Comment by Anonymister Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:32 pm
Or, if the above suggestion is invalidated, opition B:
“Maybe if I perfect my ventriloquism in Exec, I can unleash it in the House”
Comment by Anonymister Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:34 pm
Man, if only Hibbert had been in for those last 2 seconds of game 1…
Comment by Budget Watcher Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:41 pm
Sitting Shiva over pension reform.
Comment by Du Jour Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 7:14 pm
Speaker Hamlet peeks around the corner wondering if he should kill the bill while its sponsor is praying, lest it go to heaven thereby ruining his revenge.
Comment by Du Jour Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 7:17 pm
I wonder if that witch from Snow White has any apples left?
Comment by Du Jour Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 7:22 pm
It’s freaking working….
Comment by zatoichi Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 7:51 pm
“God,like George Bailey once told ya…even though I know he and Clarence are/were, ya know, fake fictitious characters…I’m not a PRAYing Man, but, I’m at the end of my rope..please help me–I’ve (actually WE’ve, ya know, legislators and Governors for decades and decades, somehow lost almost a 100 BILlion dollars on pensions, and misplaced it somehow, and need to make it up…can ya HELP me Lord?” At this point, the worried and compassionate legislator in front of him (Ira Silverstein per chance??) turns to him and asks him if he’s alright and needs any help–by name–and that he really shouldn’t wimper like that in Public. Then an infuriated Madigan just so happens to start to walk by at that instant and overhears that this prayin’ fella is John CULlerton and slams him with a hard punch to the jaw, blurting, John CULlerton, ey?! Well that’s the LAST time you treat my House Members like that after we SLAVED to teach those child-like, naive Representatives about my pension brilliance and to pass a respectable pension bill–and THAT’S how ya TREAT us? By voting it DOWN?! Why, we cried for an HOUR when we heard how you did that to us!! John CULlerton, hrumph!! (as the Conference Chair insists the Speaker be removed and the Seargant-at-Arms and assistants are shoving Madigan out of and through the Conference room doors…)!
Comment by Just The Way It Is One Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 8:03 pm
Maybe a term limit bill is a good idea
Comment by Idontgetit Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 9:27 pm
They did what to Robb Stark??? Holy Crap!!!
Comment by WizzardOfOzzie Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 9:45 pm
I really should have washed my hands.
Comment by iThink Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 10:17 pm
Dear God, Save Illinois. Fire Madigan. (And throw in a little brimstone, while you’re at it)
Comment by Bruce Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 7:38 am
In a quiet moment The Senate President realized, in large part since all the interesting stuff happens during the last week of session, perhaps next time he will just come down for the last week…
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 7:48 am
Oh well, guess I’ll meet with Quinn next week, since Madigan uninvited me to Palm Springs after we tanked his pension bill.
Comment by anon Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 8:05 am
Billable hours are better at the firm
Comment by Tim Elenz Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 8:29 am
I knew I should have paid more attention in that “Bargaining for Results” elective at Loyola…
Comment by The Lowly LA Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 8:35 am
“You’re not helping, Rich…”
Comment by The Lowly LA Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 8:37 am
That deal with Mike…I get Union donations and he gets big business money. Oh no, I made a mistake.
Comment by ellapalmommie Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 9:07 am
Bless me, Speaker, for I have sinned…
Comment by John Bambenek Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 9:17 am
What? You’ve got to be pulling my leg? The latest polling data shows Pat Quinn ahead of Lisa? Lord, let us pray.
Comment by Farm Boy Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 9:27 am
Dear Lord if we could only blame this on George Bush!!!
Comment by catch22 Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 1:44 pm