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* My weekly newspaper column…
The thin-skinned, strong-arm Statehouse partisanship of the past two and a half years reached out and infected the Illinois Conference of Women Legislators’ annual fundraising gala last week.
COWL is a bipartisan organization which raises money every year to “assist mature women who wish to continue their undergraduate education,” according to its website. “The goal of the scholarship is to focus on deserving, qualified women whose educations were interrupted due to family concerns and economic problems,” the group says. Women who have shown “leadership promise through community service” are given preference.
Anyway, it’s a good organization, and it’s one of two events that I never miss each year — the other one being the House vs. Senate softball game. Both events allow legislators to do things together without partisan or leadership barriers. They help build relationships and trust. Plus, they’re both a lot of fun. And after 21/2 years of watching politicians fight each other to a draw on a state budget and economic reforms, we all need the occasional good time.
Lately, COWL has also brought in professional comedians to set the mood. This year’s comedian was Patti Vasquez, who has her own show on Chicago’s WGN Radio and did an increasingly rare interview with House Speaker Michael Madigan last week.
The evening often has the feel of an old-time variety show staged by amateurs. It’s not supposed to be perfect, and that can sometimes make things funnier. A legislator singing way off key would be unlistenable in another context, but at the COWL event, it can be hilarious.
Some legislators have lots of talent. Rep. Will Guzzardi, D-Chicago, stunned the audience with his exquisite piano playing abilities. That he chose to cover a Tom Waits song and sang it in Waits’ gravelly voiced style made his performance all that much better.
Rep. David Olsen, R-Downers Grove, is a cheery and bright young man who generally speaks softly and is of, shall we say, slight build. But he sang a full-throated, a capella version of “Illinois,” our state song. Olsen mesmerized the audience.
Come to think of it, the men kind of stole the show last week.
COWL always stages some sketches and songs that are drenched in political satire. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Rep. Rob Martwick, D-Chicago, plays guitar and sings and wrote a parody of Otis Redding’s universally famous “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay.”
“I’m sittin’ here on the House Floor / Waitin’ for a budget deal that I can vote for / I’m sittin’ here on the House Floor / Wastin’ time.”
Martwick wrote several strong lyrics: “Sittin’ here resting my bones / ‘Cuz the lobbyists won’t leave me alone / 200 miles I’ve roamed / Just to make this seat my own.”
But I particularly enjoyed the bridge: “Looks like nothin’s gonna change / Everyone keeps on passin’ the blame / I can’t do what the Governor tells me to do / This state’s going down the drain.”
He got a big howl of approval for that one.
COWL also produced a dance routine this year to a song by R&B singer Cupid called “Cupid Shuffle.”
Legislators on stage were dressed in checkered, western-style shirts just like Gov. Bruce Rauner wears in his latest TV ads featuring him in a pristine work shop and talking about the Democrats’ “duct tape solutions.”
Some members held up large signs with “Do your job” written on them, which is a constant refrain of Rauner’s critics. Some also carried signs featuring a large, menacing cartoon image of House Speaker Michael Madigan that was devised by the Madigan-hating Illinois Policy Institute.
Duct tape was supposed to be part of the routine, but the gimmick was scrapped at the last minute because the players didn’t have enough time to remove the tape and change between songs. So, they wound up with extra boxes of the stuff.
But a freshman Republican House member reportedly took a video of the skit during rehearsal last week and sent it to a member of her leadership team. Republican legislators told me later they were then yanked out of the dance and by showtime last week only Democrats performed during the routine.
Unreal.
Some people just don’t know how to laugh at themselves.
Let’s hope the softball game survives intact.
posted by Rich Miller
Monday, May 15, 17 @ 8:58 am
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I love when we get a peek at the real Governor, yeah the guy whose own staff refers to him as Satan.
Comment by Anonymous Monday, May 15, 17 @ 9:13 am
If the Republicans can’t laugh at themselves, don’t worry, plenty of others are laughing at them. #DurkinMemo
Comment by Michelle Flaherty Monday, May 15, 17 @ 9:14 am
Rauner and the Superstars have intentionally made him into a caricature hoping to appeal to the masses. That kind of ‘messaging’ invites mockery. For someone who said he was so willing and able to take arrows he’s awfully sensitive and thin-skinned.
Comment by Cubs in '16 Monday, May 15, 17 @ 9:16 am
It sounds like there was equal opportunity satire (and a lot of fun, too!)and that’s how it should be.
The Republican leadership needs to get a sense of humor.
Comment by JoanP Monday, May 15, 17 @ 9:20 am
Only if the Republicans bat first and Rauner starts out on third base. Oh, by the way, he’s playing.
Comment by PublicServant Monday, May 15, 17 @ 9:22 am
If you can’t laugh at yourself, you forfeit your right to laugh at others.
Comment by Tommydanger Monday, May 15, 17 @ 9:24 am
Did the freshman GOP snitch get a juice box and a pudding cup for the effort, or just a pat on the head? Scratch of the belly?
If you let the thin-skinned Frat Boys push you around on such petty nonsense, it must be tough to fool yourself into believing that you’ll stand up for your constituents. Or even have a purpose for being there.
Comment by wordslinger Monday, May 15, 17 @ 9:41 am
It would be nice if they got their jobs done before going to Happy Hour.
Comment by A Citizen Monday, May 15, 17 @ 9:51 am
With what Rauner has done to the state, we have nothing to laugh about!
Comment by DuPage Monday, May 15, 17 @ 9:53 am
Gotta ask; which Tom Waits song did he cover?
Comment by Small Change Monday, May 15, 17 @ 10:12 am
Wow. Guess Durkin and the other Republicans really are owned by Rauner now. I suppose we knew that, but this is a sad reminder.
Comment by IRLJ Monday, May 15, 17 @ 10:19 am
== Let’s hope the softball game survives intact. ==
It may be hardball this year.
Comment by RNUG Monday, May 15, 17 @ 10:27 am
Nuts, a good time wasn’t had by all over a politicians’ “talent show”? Let’s do hope for better in the Senate vs. House softball game because don’t they deserve it? I think they’ve earned it given another highly productive session. /s
The thought of “talented” politicians singing and dancing while the state burns is a parody itself. Or perhaps it’s a caricature of the malignancy of the whole place right now.
Comment by Lance Mannion Monday, May 15, 17 @ 10:29 am
===The thought of “talented” politicians singing and dancing while the state burns is a parody itself===
The GA wasn’t in session. It was night time. Take a freaking breath. And not through your mouth, either.
Comment by Rich Miller Monday, May 15, 17 @ 10:42 am
“Duct tape was supposed to be part of the routine…” I wonder how many scoops of ice cream they got?
Comment by Skeptic Monday, May 15, 17 @ 11:30 am
The Shake Up of Springfield continues.
Comment by Deft Wing Monday, May 15, 17 @ 11:49 am
Can’t anybody laugh anymore?
No doubt the “superstar” staffer who claimed this was a real issue, had about as much experience and sense as the rookie legislator.
Comment by walker Monday, May 15, 17 @ 11:53 am
“That’ll learn ‘em for cutting my big solo!!1!”
– MrJM
Comment by @misterjayem Monday, May 15, 17 @ 12:28 pm
Xanax for the GOP! Stat!
Comment by Flynn's mom Monday, May 15, 17 @ 12:51 pm
Lol, Rich. Maybe it’s you who needs to take that breath. You’re the one writing about it as if it matters, after all.
Comment by Lance Mannion Monday, May 15, 17 @ 8:40 pm
Tony or Lindsey is the rat fink, know how to please their leadership, good to know
Comment by Rabid Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 6:47 am