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posted by Rich Miller
Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 12:54 pm
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Next Post: Morning shorts - UPDATED x1
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Free at last…free at last…Thank God, Almighty, I’m free at last.
Comment by Common Sense in Illinois Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:01 pm
(AP) — Upon exiting her campaign bus during a stop on her statewide tour, State Treasurer Judy Baar Topinka was told she was under arrest for impersonating a Republican.
Comment by Scoop Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:01 pm
Touchdown Bears!
Comment by Niles Township Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:03 pm
cherries … cherries … CHERRIES! Jackpot at the slots! I paid for my budget with a casino jackpot.
Comment by one-armed bandit Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:08 pm
We’re on a roll! Beware oncoming traffic, Blago!
Comment by Dem Voting R Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:10 pm
It’s time for my hug Richie now that I proposed a casino for your city.
Comment by Buck Flagojevich Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:10 pm
Look out Illinois! All those horse-shoes I had to eat are coming up.
Comment by Buck Flagojevich Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:12 pm
I’m gonna run a deficit “this” big.
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:17 pm
Hairdo’s just been indicted - woohoo!!!
Comment by maggiemae Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:21 pm
…and we’re going to Quincy, and Rock Island, and Edwardsville, and Carbondale, and and we’re going to Springfield to take back the Executive Mansion! YEAAAHHHH!
Comment by Dean Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:40 pm
Everyone back up! Rutherfords been eating chili again.
Comment by ???????? Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:44 pm
You wanna know’s what’s in my big gulp! We’ve been doing jello shots!
Comment by Annoyed all the time Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:53 pm
I filled the cup faster than the guys did.
Comment by Woe is us Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:54 pm
I found my coffee!
Comment by Ashur Odishoo Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:56 pm
Look! Gambling and polka all in one place! YAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Comment by Southern Ilinois Democrat Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:58 pm
Judy Baar Topinka expresses glee as Joe Birkett cleans up after her beloved Scottish Terrier, Molly McDoo after a long day on the bus. “Joe, now we know what duties (pardon the pun) that I’ll give you once you’re elected Lt. Governor”, stated the nominee.
Comment by John Lee Pettimore Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 2:07 pm
You should see the gas tank on this thing–it’s HUGE!
Comment by Squideshi Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 2:08 pm
“Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.”
Comment by Phocion Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 2:11 pm
Look who is under the bus!
Comment by zatoichi Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 2:14 pm
Judy celebrates after successfully tricking Joe Birkett to “pull my finger”.
Comment by Chick McGann Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 2:19 pm
Hey Kids, It’s Uncle Milty!
(I know I’m not going to win, I just want everyone to agree she looks JUST like Milton Berle in that photo)
Comment by STAVROS Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 2:25 pm
“I’m just practicing my celebration for Tuesday November 7, 2006.”
Comment by Fouts Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 2:30 pm
Jee-hah!!! It’s Half Price Slurpee Day at 7-11!
Comment by Bubs Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 2:43 pm
People, please… enough with the toilet humor.
Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:01 pm
it’s fun to stay at the YMCA
Comment by Annoyed all the time Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:06 pm
The coffee place got my order right!
Comment by Newshound Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:08 pm
WooHoo!!! Those anti-perspirant coupons came in a lot more handy than the ones Obie gave me!
Comment by Uncle Slappy Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:25 pm
Topinka: “I surrender ! Don’t shoot ! You got me - after 26 years in Illinois state government spent working with or for George Ryan, Bill Cellini and other Springfield insiders and/or felons, I admit it - I’m just as corrupt as Uncle Georgie Ryan !”
Comment by Scott Fawell's Cellmate Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:27 pm
Three cheers for free refills!!!
Comment by Uncle Slappy Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:27 pm
(Running in circles) “Woogawoogawooga ! Me have big budget voodoo !”
Comment by Scott Fawell's Cellmate Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:31 pm
“A face made for radio”
Comment by Anon Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:34 pm
“Judy Barr Topinka: somehow making Dawn Clark Netsch look sexy”
Comment by Anon Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:36 pm
No Arlington Park fatalities today!
Comment by Establishment Republican Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:55 pm
No caption today . Hey honest enthusiasm !!! That’s not a bad thing. Maybe she’ll win & things will turn around !!!
Comment by annon. Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:57 pm
Rod’s Mojo — finally, in this cup. I’ve been trying to get this for years. He’s mine now come November.
Comment by Vinron Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 3:59 pm
Oompa Loompa Doopity Doo…
Comment by Road Doll Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 4:09 pm
Can you hear me now?
Comment by Shallow Pharnyx Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 4:11 pm
Charges Against Kentucky Governor Dismissed
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Filed at 2:18 p.m. ET
FRANKFORT, Ky. (AP) — A judge dismissed all charges against Gov. Ernie Fletcher in a state hiring scandal Thursday after the governor and attorney general agreed to a settlement that involves zero punishment for Fletcher personally.
The Republican governor took responsibility for his administration in the settlement, but he did not admit any criminal wrongdoing.
‘’The governor acknowledges that the evidence strongly indicates wrongdoing by his administration with regard to personnel actions with the merit system,'’ the judge said in a five-page order dismissing the charges.
Fletcher’s administration was accused of illegally giving protected state jobs to political supporters. Several current and former state employees testified before a grand jury investigating the scandal that they were passed over for promotions, transferred, demoted or fired because of their political leanings.
Fletcher was indicted in May on misdemeanor charges of conspiracy, official misconduct and political discrimination. He issued a blanket pardon for anyone else in his administration who might be charged.
Under the settlement agreement, four Fletcher appointees to the state Personnel Board will have to resign to avoid any appearance of a conflict in future cases. The judge stressed that, ‘’In no way is this action taken in response to any conduct related to their service, which is commendable.'’
The agreement also says volunteers acting on behalf of the governor’s office will be bound by the Executive Branch Ethics Code.
David E. Melcher, assigned to the case as a special judge, said the governor acknowledged that actions in the administration were inappropriate, he regrets their occurrence and he accepts responsibility for them as head of the executive branch of government.
‘’This sincere expression of ultimate responsibility, however, is not an admission in any way of any criminal wrongdoing by the governor nor directly on behalf of the governor,'’ the judge wrote.
Melcher dismissed the charges with prejudice, meaning they can’t be brought again.
By settling the matter, Fletcher can seek re-election without the shadow of criminal charges looming over him.
Attorney General Greg Stumbo, who has long been at odds with the Republican governor and is considered a possible Democratic candidate for governor, could now launch a gubernatorial campaign without breaking his promise not to challenge Fletcher while the case was pending.
‘’It’s over, and I think the people all across the Commonwealth of Kentucky will be very pleased that this sad ordeal is over,'’ Fletcher said while at the Kentucky State Fair Thursday.
The agreement Melcher signed calls for the resignations of four people who were appointed by Fletcher to the state Personnel Board so employees can have grievance hearings free of the appearance of impropriety. Fletcher will have to select replacements from lists supplied by Stumbo.
Comment by Unrelated but interesting Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 4:14 pm
I hate the Uncle Milty line was taken. Judy Bore is a dead ringer
But how about:
Chewbacca surrenders ChopperJim Commandoes after escaping the Nonsense Express
Comment by Reddbyrd Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 4:14 pm
Judy executes a weak landing after completing her floor exercise entitled “Casinos for Everyone.”
Comment by doubtful Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 4:26 pm
How the hell does Rod get into his Suburban? His hair is this freakin’ big when he runs out of hair spray.
Comment by Buck Flagojevich Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 4:36 pm
Look!! Dr. Zaius has discovered coffee!
Comment by Larry David Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 4:36 pm
“Laissez les bontemps roulez!”
Comment by Ahem Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 4:39 pm
HOMERUN
Comment by DOWNSTATE Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 4:45 pm
Joe just told me I’m one of the two best looking babes on the bus.
Comment by Anon Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 4:46 pm
…and I did it MYYYYYYYYY WAYYYYYYYYY
Comment by Common Sense in Illinois Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 5:12 pm
Shoo!
All you right wingers get away. Go back to your caves. I don’t need your frigging votes. Just to prove it, I’ll give away more slot machines
Comment by Reddbyrd Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 5:24 pm
Yes! Only 8 planets to remember!
Comment by cermak_rd Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 5:26 pm
“Filan said WHAT about my plan? And after all the checks he’s bounced at my teller window at the Capitol…..”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 5:33 pm
Everybody sing….”the wheels on the bus go round and round…” Look out Rod, we’re throwing you under!
Comment by Judy Fan Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 5:38 pm
The indictments are coming, the indictments are coming…..
Comment by state worker A Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 5:47 pm
“Great bowl cut, just $14 with tip, WOO HOO! How’s that for frugality, Illinois?”
Comment by Tom Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 5:48 pm
How many times have I told you, Orville; I don’t want Clyde drinking beer except on Saturday night.
Comment by B Hicks Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 6:18 pm
“How do you like me now? Now thatI’m on my way!”
(Credit Toby Keith)
Comment by Walking Wounded Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 6:36 pm
Circle gets the square, Paul Lynde’s back from the dead!
Comment by anon Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 6:42 pm
Whew, fresh air, you try riding around on a bus with a bunch of windbags.
Wow, this is great coffee!
Comment by Concerned Voter Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 7:01 pm
Jokers are wild!
Comment by anonymous Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 7:51 pm
Rich,
Didn’t you used to post a winning caption after each caption contest? Are you not doing that anymore?
Comment by DeepFriedOnAStick Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 7:55 pm
“Coffee is for closers. A,B,C: Always. Be. Closing”
Comment by Gregor Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 7:58 pm
Won’t even try to compete. This is the hands down winner from above:
- Dean - Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 1:40 pm:
…and we’re going to Quincy, and Rock Island, and Edwardsville, and Carbondale, and and we’re going to Springfield to take back the Executive Mansion! YEAAAHHHH
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 8:02 pm
good one anon that’s Uncle Arthur allright but she’s got Aunt Hagatha’s policy powers
Comment by anonymous Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 8:04 pm
“This is what Blago is going to have to do when the Feds come to get him”
Comment by Anon Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 8:21 pm
“JACKPOT!!! I just got Daley to vote for me”
Comment by Anon Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 8:29 pm
Bingo! I’ve thought of gaming so we can get needed revenue FROM irresponsible gamblers while my opponent treats Illinois LIKE an irresponsible gambler (borrowing and spending what we don’t have). Can I get an Amen?!!
Comment by Angie Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 8:32 pm
But officer. I wasn’t driving the bus. Why do I have to take the sobriety test?
Or…
No caption, just the theme from the Titanic playing in the background.
Comment by Anon Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 8:35 pm
Honestly guys for the past twenty years i had no clue there was corruption going on in our administrations or was i just playing stupid got you you figure it out.
Comment by anonynous again Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 8:49 pm
were only down eleven guys if i keep talking we can get it up to 15 by november
Comment by curly sue Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 8:50 pm
I’m taller than, Rod!; I’m taller than Rod! NYA, NYA NYA NYA NYA, I’m taller than Rod!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by muletown Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 8:52 pm
She does look like Milton Burle… Tom, I can’t beat what you said, but I will try… (sorry Judy, I still love you)
Mike Flannery: “Today, Bozo the Clown appeared in public for the first time without the make-up.”
Comment by Lovie's Leather Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 9:00 pm
Now we polka!!!
Comment by Dassah Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 9:06 pm
i don’t know, lovie, i thought annoyed all the time nailed it. (i can’t compete on these threads because i basically am not funny…)
Comment by bored now Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 9:11 pm
Hey, I got another great idea - Keno
Comment by the ole precinct captain Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 9:26 pm
celebration time now come on
Comment by MIDSTATE Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 9:30 pm
“Who-Hoo!! Rich Whitney is going to be on the ballot!”
Comment by Long Time Reader; First Time Poster Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 9:38 pm
Rich, on an unrelated manner — I just saw the ad where Blago tries to say that Topinka can’t be trusted because her budget plan violates something she’s said already. Can we have a QTD that asks for how many promises Blago has broken? (ie: His promise to open LDC and it is still closed, or his promise not to expand gambling, but wants to put it in every bar and restaurant with keno)
Comment by Long Time Reader; First Time Poster Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 9:42 pm
“I’m the king of the world!”
Comment by So-Called "Austin Mayor" Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 9:54 pm
“I’m telling you…Rod’s got an ego thiiiiis big”
Comment by Faithful Reader Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 9:57 pm
Curley! Larry! C’mere, you imbeciles! (In the background: “woowoowoowoo!!!”)
Comment by Snidely Whiplash Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 9:58 pm
Come on Lovie, it’s Ronald McDonald.
Comment by BuckTurgidson Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 10:39 pm
I agree JohnR, whether you support the person in the caption or not, the whole goal is to roast them as best as possible… I guess you could say that this should be a non-partisan issue…
Comment by Lovie's Leather Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 10:50 pm
“Dammit! Look at me - How did my deodorant spray get switched with Blagojevich’s hair spray?”
Comment by Another Faithful Reader Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 11:03 pm
Clean shirt, new shoes
And I don’t know where I am goin’ to.
They come runnin’ just as fast as they can
Coz every girl crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man.
Comment by anon Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 11:12 pm
Don’t go, turn around… you can solve our problems by gambling back home in illinois. The first 3000 get a free seat, drinks and a snow globe of Wrigley!
Comment by WWDMD Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 11:23 pm
“Do ya like this? I got it at the Good Will, along with a new accordian and a law school certificate just like the governor’s. Cost me $10, tops.”
Comment by Disgusted Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 11:25 pm
Hands up! You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 11:27 pm
“Umholtz! Long time, no see. Give Mama a big hug!”
Comment by Lovie's Leather Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 11:59 pm
“Stu Umholtz just told me he’s actually been campaign since December.”
OR
“Being stuck on a bus while Carole Pankau puts on all of her hair spray makes me sick.”
Comment by Team Sleep Thursday, Aug 24, 06 @ 11:59 pm
Why is she wearing a turtleneck in the middle of august?
Comment by anon Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 1:04 am
Moe, Larry the Cheese
Comment by RAI Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 1:11 am
Where’s Rod? Not here!!!!
Comment by Nostradamus Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 1:23 am
Rod is in Springfield!
Comment by Criminal Enterprise Called Illinois Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 1:59 am
she’s not wearing a turtleneck. that’s a natural (and visual) effect when people raise their arms. you can try this at home (or at work)…
Comment by bored now Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 5:38 am
Bingo!
Comment by anon Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 6:04 am
“Judy Barr Topinka, Republican candidate for governor in Illinois, celebrates upon hearing news that current Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, Democrat, has been indicted by a federal grand jury on charges of illegal hiring, fraud, and bribery.”
Comment by Southern Illinoisian Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 7:00 am
It’s Howdy Doody Time!
Comment by Bill Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 7:09 am
One more answer after this one and Rich will have a Century Club entry.
How about:
“Don’t shoot, I give up. THis has been the worse campaign since Mike Bakalis.”
Just one more
Comment by Reddbyrd Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 7:14 am
A free lighter with the 10th pack of Marlboros….thats why I love Hucks!
Comment by prairiestatedem Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 7:47 am
Wait! A garage sale! Hold the bus!!
Comment by Still Anon Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 8:07 am
JBT demonstrates that under her gubernatorial administration there will be no reason to throw anyone under the bus and she is willing to back that up by saying that “IN MY ADMINISTRATION, THE BUS STOPS HERE!”
Comment by Unknown Comic Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 8:09 am
I earned 100 comments on the CapFax blog!!!
Comment by Woe is us Friday, Aug 25, 06 @ 8:18 am