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* From the Springfield Archdiocese newspaper Catholic Times story entitled “Gov. Rauner Breaks Promise, Signs HB40″…
posted by Rich Miller
Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:25 pm
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Bruce Rauner gets his fourth staff of the summer.
Comment by The Captain Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:27 pm
“So, Bishop, I understand Peter Breen and Jeanne Ives sent you here to talk with me. Ummm… what’s with the big hook?”
Comment by South of Sherman Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:29 pm
@The Captain…shut it down, nobody is beating that. Well done sir.
Comment by EVanstonian Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:29 pm
“Bless me, Your Eminence, for I will sin… I’m going to lie to a Cardinal… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:30 pm
“Diana told me to do it”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:31 pm
“I often thought about becoming a golf club”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:31 pm
“I kept my word on the questionnaire, does that count for anything.., “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:33 pm
You can count on me…
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:34 pm
It’s not personal. It’s only bidness. You see, I have no personal agenda.
Comment by Winnin’ Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:34 pm
“I plan on vetoing my own signature… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:35 pm
“I wore a tie… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:35 pm
“You may be right, but right now I’m more afraid of Diana and Terry Cosgrove… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:36 pm
“Nice hat, know where I might get one?”
Comment by don the legend Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:36 pm
“Yes, thank you, I’ll check out the Book of Matthew, thanks… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:37 pm
“This is what toast looks like”
Comment by Blue dog dem Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:38 pm
“I’m just not that all religious”
“But… you’re a Bishop”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:38 pm
So padre, I brought my camel, where’s your eye of a needle?
Comment by Henry Francis Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:39 pm
“Governor, I understand. You can wait outside here until Mass has ended… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:39 pm
“Nice walky-stick things. I should get them for all my team! We need more of them in Springfield! What are they called?”
“Crooks.”
“Uh, nevermind.”
Comment by Ron Burgundy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:40 pm
“I have no religious agenda.”
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:41 pm
“Yes, Father, my grandfather was a Bishop too”
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:41 pm
“We don’t need your personal money, governor, we counted on you and you let us down. I’m not one of you General Assembly people… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:41 pm
“People will forget, Bishop… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:42 pm
“Bishop, I gave you guys that school money thingy, so why can’t you just gone me a pass on that HB40 stuff… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:43 pm
“I am looking for a new communications director. Know anybody?”
Comment by Blue dog dem Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:43 pm
“Yer not plannin’ On usin’ that are ye’,,,heh, heh”
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:43 pm
“I’d blame Madigan, Your Eminence. If you think about it, what exactly did my signature do, anyway”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:45 pm
“Love the outfit. Mind if I ask where you got it?”
Comment by Jocko Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:45 pm
“Uuuuuu, your hands are sooo soft….Lubriderm?”
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:45 pm
Gov: “It’s so nice of you to graciously let me know I’m not welcome back.”
Comment by We'll See Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:45 pm
I look forward to winning BINGO tonight, thanks Bishop.
Comment by DuPage Bard Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:49 pm
“I thought you guys were all big on that forgiveness thing…”
Comment by Ron Burgundy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:49 pm
Can I borrow your costume for my upcoming visits around the state?
Comment by Get it Solved Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:50 pm
Since I will never get the opportunity, when you see saint Peter tell him …..
Comment by I said it Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:51 pm
“Yes Bishop, I know this is the Cathedral of The Immaculate Conception, but I’ll just refer to it a the Cathedral from here on out.”
Comment by We'll See Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:55 pm
Bishop I got a bet.
Who will the GOP follow you or me? My bet is they worship my Gold more than your salvation?
How much you got?
Comment by DuPage Bard Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:58 pm
It’s a good thing you don’t want Communion, because we’d treat you like we treat Durbin. But then again, we make exceptions for Republicans because we often confuse the label for Christian.
Comment by King of the Hill Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:02 pm
“Bishop, the way I see it. It’s better to be feared then loved. That’s how I got two caucuses.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:05 pm
I can assure you, this will never be used in any political way…now just hold still for a minute longer.
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:06 pm
“… ‘I’ll answer to the Man “upstairs”?’, Bishop, is Ken Griffin here?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:08 pm
“I answer to a higher power too, Bishop. Diana.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:09 pm
Just a couple of nit-picks:
It’s the Diocese of Springfield in Illinois; we’re not an Archdiocese (that would be the metropolitan Archdiocese of Chicago)
The bishop (and archbishops) would be addressed as “Your Excellency”; “Your Eminence” is for Cardinals (such as Cardinal Cupich).
@King of the Hill, if you think Bishop Paprocki would make exceptions (for Republicans or otherwise), I’d say you don’t really know him.
Comment by Silent Budgeteer Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:12 pm
“Move Bishop to block King. Check.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:14 pm
“Bishop, we ain’t too different. You have a flock. Ah, but I also have sheep… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:16 pm
“Sorry about all that hurtin’ Catholic Charities business, I just hope signing HB40 makes up for that… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:18 pm
R: I want a prayer Bishop, a re-election prayer.
P: A re-election prayer, Governor?
R: Yes…Let’s see if we can’t get God helping us with this fight against Madigan.
P: It’ll take a pretty thick rug for that kind of prayer.
R: I don’t care if it takes a flying carpet.
Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:20 pm
The Biss campaign issues a press release complaining about the money involved in church activities.
The Pritzker campaign issued a press release about their candidate’s long-term involvement with dudes with shepards staffs.
Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:20 pm
Pawn to Bishop’s 3; it’s just bidness
Comment by Sicilian Defense Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:24 pm
…and sure enough, the snake bites the man who was trying to save it. The now-dying man says to the snake, why did you bite me? And the snake says, what did you expect? You knew I was a snake when you picked me up.
Well anyway, that’s all I have to say about HB40, Bishop.
Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:29 pm
Following up on Anonymous @ 12:45:
You have lovely hands. Do you moisturize?
I’m sorry?
You know, I’ve tried all sorts of moisturizers. I even went fragrance free for a whole year. Now my sister, she uses some kind of uh… uh… uh… uh… aloe vera with a little sunscreen in it, and ideally, we should all wear gloves when going to bed, but I found out that that creates a kind of an interference with my… “social agenda,” you know what I mean.
(h/t Frank Catton; we miss you, Big Guy)
Comment by Northsider Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:31 pm
I’ve got no clue what the truth is so lying is ok, isn’t it? No penance for me, right?
Comment by Flynn's mom Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:49 pm
whatever
Comment by Rabid Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:01 pm
so Your the holy Goalie, Holy moly.
Comment by FLEA Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:04 pm
No. Sorry. Three Hail Marys just isn’t gonna cut it this time.
Comment by TinyDancer(FKASue) Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:06 pm
Governor: “Are you backing Ives if she challenges me?”
Paprocki: “Do I wear a funny hat?”
Comment by SAP Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:07 pm
BVR: You’ll notice I trotted out the blazer, and the necktie, too.
Bishop: Not to mention the forked tongue.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:07 pm
BVR: Just checkin’ for brass knuckles, Bishop. Ya can never be too careful.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:08 pm
Do you know what they call a Polak with a pointed hat? The Pope..err I mean Bishop
Comment by FLEA Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:10 pm
47th Ward. Did you think nobody would recognize the Patton reference?
As for the caption:
“Your eminence, just to be clear, I mean my word figuratively, but not literally. And I figure you’ll still vote for me over that heathen Democrat regardless of what I do on HB 40.”
Comment by Chicago Cynic Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:12 pm
BVR: Why do they call it a Red mass? I didn’t see a pinko in the whole church.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:15 pm
===Did you think nobody would recognize the Patton reference?===
On the contrary, I was counting on it.
Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:18 pm
Rauner promises to protect unborn human life like he protects taxpayers.
Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:18 pm
BVR: Think you could come out to the fairgrounds and bless the cabin? It might keep the foxes away.
Bishop: I’m more concerned about rats.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:21 pm
===On the contrary, I was counting on it.===
Easter Eggs. Well played.
“Bishop, fiddlesticks, my name’s Tom and I’m a man, same as you… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:22 pm
Rauner reminds the Bishop of his favorite beatitude,
“Blessed are the gullible for they shall be misled.”
Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:23 pm
“That’s the funniest-lookin’ hockey stick I’ve ever seen”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:23 pm
BVR: I hear Saputo’s serves a great cod sandwich. You oughta take the Mrs. and try it out.
Bishop: (Where did they GET this guy?)
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:24 pm
Rauner reminds the Bishop of his favorite Bible quote
“Promise keepers, soon are weepers”
Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:27 pm
BVR: Didn’t they have a hook like that on Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour?
Bishop: Yes. Amateurs.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:27 pm
Rauner reminds the Bishop of his favorite Bible character
Judas
Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:29 pm
Stop by for BBQ, Diana is making baby back ribs
Comment by Rabid Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:29 pm
Rauner tells the Bishop about how his Swedish grandfather, who barely spoke English, was at Pentecost.
Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:34 pm
Rauner requests an exorcist, claiming he sold his soul to Harvey Weinstein, in order to win the 2014 election.
Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:38 pm
Rauner confesses to Bishop that he don’t know jack about “governin’”.
Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:41 pm
Rauner mistakes Bishop Paprocki for former governor Jim Edgar, asks, “How’s Brenda?”
Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:43 pm
“Are those the Pearly Gates? No, I’m afraid you chose door number 2”
Comment by BaHa Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:45 pm
Knew a guy in school who would do it with CDs, people would give him ‘orders’ and pay him like 5$ or 6$ bucks. He was never explicit about what he did, but never understood why it was worth the risk. In general, he was a great guy. Was never sure if he did it for the cash or because he could get away with it.
Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:54 pm
your pants just spontaneously combusted
Comment by Rabid Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 3:21 pm
“Looove your stick, Your Bishopness. I’ve hired a new Deputy Director of Communications, and that might come in handy when it’s time to give her the hook….heh,heh.”
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 3:31 pm
Rauner thought bubble: “That’ll be a cool costume for my next south side church visit.”
Comment by Dance Band on the Titanic Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 3:53 pm
On the ice or off the old hockey goalie has got to have a piece of wood in his hand. Looking at Rauner he probably thinking Why I outta…
Comment by Ginhouse Tommy Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 4:34 pm
BR: My word is my bond. You can count on it.
BP: Really? At least try to be sincere.
Comment by zatoichi Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 4:54 pm