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I actually think they’re serious

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* Background is here. This e-mail was sent out by the St. Louis Cardinals organization to the announcers (myself included) for the Illinois vs. Missouri general assembly softball game tomorrow at Busch Stadium…

Gentlemen - I’m looking forward to seeing you on Thursday! I trust you will have fun while providing colorful, but clean, coverage of our leaders taking part in America’s pastime.

Remember you will be in baseball heaven…the house that Musial, Red and other great men who have the birds on the bat in the heart built. Know that our standards for civility and sportsmanship are high….perhaps even higher than some of the most hallowed halls of our esteemed democracy.

As you prepare for your game coverage, think of a simpler time when hashtags were pound signs or playing fields for tic tac toe…and the strike zone kept hitters honest.

Kinda loving themselves a bit.

Just in case, I think I’ll stop at the bank to pick up some bail money.

* By the way, you can score tickets for tomorrow afternoon’s game by clicking here. They’re just twenty bucks including free concessions at the bar. Game hashtags will be #MajorLegBaseball and #STLChamberChamps. I do not yet know if there will be a video feed.

posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 12:33 pm

Comments

  1. ===They’re just twenty bucks including free concessions at the bar.===

    That’s a great deal. Beers at Wrigley are $10 each.

    Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 12:37 pm

  2. Tell them you will be following in the gentile footsteps and tradition of another great Chicago/St.Louis announcer - Harry Caray !

    Comment by Texas Red Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 12:39 pm

  3. ==Know that our standards for civility and sportsmanship are high….perhaps even higher than some of the most hallowed halls of our esteemed democracy.==

    I mean, that part’s probably accurate, just maybe not in the way they think.

    Comment by Arsenal Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 12:39 pm

  4. ==Beers at Wrigley are $10 each.==

    Wrigley: The House that nobody in particular built.

    Comment by A guy Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 12:49 pm

  5. ===Remember you will be in baseball heaven…the house that Musial, Red and other great men who have the birds on the bat in the heart built. Know that our standards for civility and sportsmanship are high….perhaps even higher than some of the most hallowed halls of our esteemed democracy.===

    Golf is my core, but baseball is my heart, and even with that…

    Cardinals baseball is rich in tradition, their fans (annoyingly smug, but knowledgeable) love the game, but I do feel each franchise, like the fraternities at Faber College are unique and special in their own way…

    Very jealous. Love to call a ball game at a big league venue. Enjoy it Rich.

    Should be a great game too.

    Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 12:49 pm

  6. St.L: The House that Augie built for Stan and Red.

    Comment by A guy Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 12:50 pm

  7. Beers at Busch Stadium are $9+ as well.

    Comment by Exclamation Point Deleted Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 12:50 pm

  8. ===Wrigley: The House that nobody in particular built.===

    Charles Weeghman, owner, Chicago Whales.

    Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 12:51 pm

  9. An open bar at a ballgame might precipitate a call for civilty.

    Comment by Bobio Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 12:52 pm

  10. Gonna need Jim Brockmire to call the play-by-play… only appropriate person, considering the teams.

    Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 12:59 pm

  11. “providing colorful, but clean,”

    Clearly, the Cardinals have never actually met the man doing to commentary. (I kid)

    Comment by Juice Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:00 pm

  12. == the house that Musial, Red and other great men who have the birds on the bat in the heart built. ==

    Musial, Red and other great men played in this park’s predecessors.

    Reminding professional political reporters to use colorful but clean language was as condescending at H-E-Double Hockey Sticks, and just as ridiculous.

    Comment by Southside Markie Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:18 pm

  13. –Remember you will be in baseball heaven…the house that Musial, Red and other great men who have the birds on the bat in the heart built.–

    FWIW, both Stan and Red retired from playing in 1963. Neither ever played in Busch III (opened in 1966), so it’s hard to see how they built Busch IV (opened in 2006).

    –Know that our standards for civility and sportsmanship are high….perhaps even higher than some of the most hallowed halls of our esteemed democracy.–

    Quinn on the other thread might be fully krausened, but this dude is definitely beechwood-aged.

    Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:19 pm

  14. Go easy. He’s an Artesian.

    Comment by A guy Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:29 pm

  15. This should be right up the alley for Cardinals fans. They’re pretty used to amateur baseball by now.

    Comment by Mittuns Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:33 pm

  16. I suppose what they said is classier than…

    We have had enough of the Greitens jokes

    Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:34 pm

  17. ===this dude is definitely beechwood-aged===

    Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:35 pm

  18. –An open bar at a ballgame might precipitate a call for civilty.–

    Back in the 80s, I went to a quarter-beer-night at a Peoria Rivermen’s game. I doubt they ever did that again.

    Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:36 pm

  19. –An open bar at a ballgame might precipitate a call for civility.–

    Just like Cleveland’s 10 cent a beer night in 1974

    Comment by a drop in Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:48 pm

  20. Memo to the Show-Me State . . . . . . .baseball heaven is in Iowa . . . . .

    Comment by Chad Hays Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:48 pm

  21. Remember a simpler time when #metoo was pound me too

    Comment by Redbird Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:50 pm

  22. Anon 12:59: +1

    Rich, highly recommend you watch a few episodes of Brockmire on IFC for some choice lines.

    For example: “That ball canNOT get buried in a Jewish cemetery because it has been TATTOOED !”

    Comment by Scott Fawell's Cellmate Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 1:55 pm

  23. I defer to Messrs. Hays and Kinsella. How very interesting that it took a Canadian novelist to give us such a wonderful perspective on America’s pastime.

    Comment by Mr. Smith Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 2:13 pm

  24. Seems appropriate given that so many Illinois and Missouri politicians are in jail, have been in jail, or should be in jail. Many of those folks play hardball.

    Comment by Joe M Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 2:21 pm

  25. Problem is, the only beer available at the concessions is Buckhorn. Used to be $4.00 per case.

    Comment by DE Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 2:23 pm

  26. -This should be right up the alley for Cardinals fans. They’re pretty used to amateur baseball by now.-

    Has a few winning seasons and a world series. Acts like this has always been the order in the NL. LOL

    Comment by Alex Ander Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 3:17 pm

  27. Mittuns ==Amateur baseball ??? Ahh not so much. You been living under a rock or are a Yanks fan? Cards 19 NL Pennants 11 WS rings…top to bottom arguably the best run organization the past 20 years. Sox and Cubs been long slog for all y’all. But hey ya both got one in the past 13 seasons to the Cards two.

    Comment by theCardinal Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 4:00 pm

  28. ===top to bottom arguably the best run organization the past 20 years.===

    Like I said, annoyingly smug.

    Explain that whole Cardinals hacking into the Astros and cheating thingy…

    I kid, I kid.

    Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 4:12 pm

  29. Willy === There is cheating like say A-Rod, Sosa ,McGuire, Bonds et al. Then there is corporate espionage made available because of poor IT firewalls or hidden cameras at to practices or in score boards on the East coast. LOL

    Comment by theCardinal Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 4:35 pm

  30. I’d say the McGuire issue wasn’t a Cardinal thing but a LaRussa thing… including the A’s.

    Sosa, A-Rod, traded, both products of the Rangers organization.

    Stealing signs, even thru scoreboards, “ok”, but using electronics to do so… nope. Spygate for the Pats, taping, tainted that franchise and still will follow Belichick, while being considered the best coach of his era.

    The Cards? Federal authorities and guilty pleas to hacking counts… doesn’t take away even my nod to them, but…

    The farm system the Cards do have… bunch of no-names… that just win ball games.

    Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 4:48 pm

  31. Rich, I always have bail money on hand at home in the safe. Just don’t run up the tab, as I don’t think I could get ya sprung from a felony.

    Comment by Arthur Andersen Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 5:13 pm

  32. Did they issue Metallica fans the same warning?

    Comment by Vote Quimby Wednesday, Jun 13, 18 @ 6:39 pm

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