Them camo clothes I have got laundry numbers on them. You remember my number. Any GA Member forgets my number spends a night in the box. These here are the Conceal and Carry bills, you keep them with you. Any GA Member loses his copy of these Bills, spends a night in the box. There’s no messin’ or fighting on the Floor of Either chamber on my Bills. You got a grudge against another GA Member, you fight them Saturday afternoon, as the Bill dictates. Any GA Member messin’ or fighting on the Floor of Either chamber on my Bills spends a night in the box. First bell’s at five minutes of eight when you will GET to the floor to vote ‘Yes’ on my Bils. Last bell is at eight. Any GA Member not not on the Floor at eight, votin’ ‘Yes’ on my Bills, spends the night in the box. There is no adding Amendments to the Conceal and Carry Bills. To Amend my Bills, you must have both copies of your Amendments approved by ME. Any GA Memeber adding Amendments, without me approvin’… spends a night in the box. You get two copies of the Bills every Saturday. Now, every Saturday, you put the new copy of my Bills on the top… the Old Copy of the Bills on the bottom… and the bottom you turn in to the Caucus Chair. Any GA Member turns in the wrong sheet spends a night in the box. No one’ll sit on the Floor of their Chamber with negative buttons on. Any GA Member with negative buttons on sitting on the Floor spends a night in the box. Any GA Member loud talking against my Conceal and Carry Bills spends a night in the box. You got questions, you come to me. I’m Todd, the floor walker. I’m responsible for order in here.
“I told Todd to meet me here, but it has been so long since I seen him, I forgot what he looks like. Now, how does the NRA Lobbyist look like if he were going to Morton’s for …lunch? Golf shirt, maybe pressed pants?”
“Go ahead. Take that picture. Make it good. When you are done, I am going to load that phone in a Clay Pigeon machine and take my shotgun and blast it from here to Chicago. So go. Take that picture. I’m ready, are you?”
I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn’t even know it yet. Weeks away and hundreds of miles up a river that snaked through Jason Plummer’s neighborhood, through the HGOP Headquarters, and through the state like a main circuit cable plugged straight to OW. It was no accident that I got to be the caretaker of Oswego Willy’s memory any more than being back in Oswego was an accident. There is no way to tell his story without telling my own. And if his story really is a confession, then so is mine.
The Gander Mountain Santa Claus has his list of who’s naughty and who’s nice in his pocket. Ready for the little urchins and their hopes of a Red Ryder rifle. He’ll pass out authographed shooting glasses just like he has on so the young’uns won’t shoot their eyes out.
“Oh yes Rich. I so WANT to buy the winner a drink. Believe me, I can’t wait to be alone… the winner and I … no one around… after all the comedy at my expense … oh yes, I can’t WAIT to buy that winner a drink …”
How do you know it’s a picture of NRA lobbyist Todd Vandermyde? The guy is in camo and wearing sunglasses in doors. No doubt Todd’s facebook account was hacked and it is actually Rahm Emanuel sitting there.
First place entrant at the auditions for Gov Quinn’s new media campaign to fight CCW. Meet “Geezer” the stereotypical middle aged white suburbanite who will be the scourge of Michigan Ave carrying his AR 15.
“This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder’s head. Fortunately, I’m adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.”
- TheGoodLieutenant - Thursday, Dec 13, 12 @ 1:09 pm:
Sir could you please step out of line for a random check of your carry-on?
“I want you to know that the gun lobby wasted more than $11 million in our efforts to defeat President Obama. We also failed to elect our preferred candidate in six of their seven top targets for the U.S. Senate. And more than two-thirds of incumbents who lost their seats in the House of Representatives were backed by the NRA, including four Democrats. But we think we will get our way in Illinois…without restriction. Oh happy days.”