SUBSCRIBE to Capitol Fax      Advertise Here      Mobile Version     Exclusive Subscriber Content     Updated Posts    Contact
CapitolFax.com
To subscribe to Capitol Fax, click here.
“Ricky, get off my Trans Am!” *** Updated x1 ***

Wednesday, Oct 18, 2006

Finally, a candidate for Illinois governor I can believe in…


He won’t jump into bed with the special interests or organized crime…


Your hero and mine…


With a running mate who believes in the power of facial hair…


Heck, even Honest Abe is backing Tim Nieukirk for governor of Illinois…


How could you possibly not vote for a guy who puts John L. Lewis on his MySpace page? Hey, Henry, are you out there? Maybe AFSCME can finally endorse somebody in this race.

Part-time customer service work at Best Buy and CVS Pharmacy helped Tim develop the personal skills that will help him navigate through the political bickering of Springfield. […]

Tim believes strongly in education, particularly in higher education. Thus he has attended three such state institutes. He started at Illinois Central College, achieved his Associate’s Degree, transfered to Western Illinois University, and transferred again to Illinois State University to really round out the experience. He currently majors in Safety Sciences. What could say ‘responsible leadership’ better than Safety Sciences?

Tim is a Leo, his favorite color is red, his lucky number is 21. Amongst his proudest accomplishments are being named Senior Patrol Leader (Head of Troop) of Troop 163, being elected Student Council Rep. for Pep Club in high school, and receiving the Antoine de Beauterne Award for Excellence in Werewolf Hunting from the American Lycanthropist Society of America in 2003. His karoake performances of “Blame It on the Rain” frequently reduce men to tears…

Illinois, I think it’s time to “Get Nieuked.”

[And, by the way, if you do nothing else today, watch those first two videos. Brilliant.]

*** UPDATE *** Oh, my goodness. They really have filed the paperwork.

- Posted by Rich Miller        


27 Comments
  1. - get neiuked - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 12:23 pm:

    Finally, a candidate I can vote for. Tim, you need to have a fundraiser. I’ll sponsor a keg.


  2. - Common Sense in Illinois - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 12:33 pm:

    This guy has more spots than Rich Whitney!


  3. - Beowulf - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 12:39 pm:

    Sorry Tim but you are “overqualified” in comparison to Todd Stroger. You might make Todd “Did I do that?” Stroger look worse than he already does for political qualifications required to run for elected office. Very poor form, Tim. By the way, “Who’s your daddy?”


  4. - Mike's Used Sports Section - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 12:56 pm:

    I think I’m voting for them just because they are funny. I wonder how good Neiukirk is at retelling an everchanging story about a little black girl mistaking him for Jeff Garland . . .


  5. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 1:16 pm:

    and he gets points for having some hottie friends on his myspace page


  6. - WARDOG - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 1:52 pm:

    Couldn’t be any worse than what we have and will probably still have.


  7. - The 'Broken Heart' of Rogers Park - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 1:55 pm:

    Let’s ask Jake CP what he thinks.


  8. - goodstuff - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 2:04 pm:

    First, Mike’s USS, bravo, bravo.

    but seriously, since we can’t get jbt and blago to sit down for a series of debates; how about we get tim and whitney to have a series of debates. I was thining of voting for whitney out of protest, but now Whtiney must win back my vote after the single greatest political debut since either Reagan in ‘64 or Bryan in 1896.


  9. - Animous - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 2:48 pm:

    Awesome Job! Easily the only campaign ads of the season that I could stand to watch over and over. Coincidentally, they have about the same amount of substance as any statewide ad out there right now.

    This kid could be governor some day, he couldn’t really screw it up much worse than it already is. Could be a tough name to write-in though…


  10. - Arthur Andersen - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 2:57 pm:

    This is great. Can’t you see a Trans Am with Official 1 license plates and a big chicken decal on the hood doin’ smoky burnouts on the Capitol driveway..Talk about livin’ the dream.


  11. - Anon - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 3:16 pm:

    I am so bummed I have already voted!


  12. - Downtown - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 3:25 pm:

    Rich,

    Better include Tim in future gubernatorial polls.
    Looks like he’ll have the traction JBT has been missing


  13. - Boone Logan Square - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 3:55 pm:

    Outstanding. But I don’t have a sister…


  14. - Rich Miller - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 4:48 pm:

    I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard at something even remotely political.

    Oh, wait, all of 2004.


  15. - Frank Booth - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 5:22 pm:

    Hey Rich a new question:
    Who will get more votes in Will County:
    Rich Whitney or this guy?


  16. - Nearly Normal - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 6:17 pm:

    Hoo hah! An ISU Redbird to boot! Haven’t had a good laugh for a while. I will be curious to see how many votes Tim gets.


  17. - Ashur Odishoo - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 6:24 pm:

    You kin register tu vote at city how-ell. I would love to see him and Todd in a debate. I think he would win.

    Ashur Odishoo
    Candidate
    State Representative 11th District
    www.voteodishoo.com


  18. - Shallow Pharnyx - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 7:35 pm:

    Finally, a 3rd party candidate I can vote for!!!!


  19. - Little Egypt - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 8:48 pm:

    I love this guy!!! Stranger things have happened in Illinois, but not lately. He could do at least as good of a job as Elvis. I’d love to see this whole election be turned upside down with this kid winning (not going to happen though) and see the look on MMadigan and EJones faces when the figure out who they have to work with for the next 4 years. State police cars could be General Lee cars with a horn that plays “Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, good bye.”


  20. - Arthur Andersen - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 9:36 pm:

    The State troops would appreciate any new cars, LE. Filan’s check bounced after about half of the promised 500 new squad cars were delivered.

    I’m sure that the Troopers, and all State employees, would have more respect for Gov. Tim Nieukirk for than Gov. Numbn*ts.


  21. - zatoichi - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 9:39 pm:

    Thank God! Finally some candidates with personality and an everclear message. Give these guys the money for ads and they would come up with stuff worth watching. A Trans Am in every driveway!


  22. - Andrew - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 10:55 pm:

    Isnt there an age requirement for Governor? Anyway, I went to grade school and high school with both these characters, and I think they would make a fine Governor and Lt. Governor.

    Word of advice to the state representatives and senators, on inauguration, watch out for the whippy cushion before you sit down!


  23. - Levois - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 11:08 pm:

    My reaction to that second video…


  24. - Levois - Wednesday, Oct 18, 06 @ 11:09 pm:

    OK that didn’t work, I was trying to do a laughing smiley. Damn. :( But those were some funny videos.


  25. - Beowulf - Thursday, Oct 19, 06 @ 7:05 am:

    Isn’t he a member of one of those religious groups in the conservative right-wing segment of the Illinois Republican Party? Wasn’t he that guy on a crutch a few years ago that said on Christmas Day, “God bless us everyone.”? My fear, Rich, is that Tim won’t keep a wall of separation between church and state.


  26. - Tessa - Thursday, Oct 19, 06 @ 12:58 pm:

    Too bad he didn’t get invited to the debate with Whitney and the other write-in candidates.


  27. - Zach - Thursday, Oct 19, 06 @ 9:33 pm:

    I may be able to wipe the floor with Tim in poker and sports i can’t think of anyone better to try and fix this crap heap of a state.


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


* Reader comments closed until Monday
* TrackBill update
* Caption contest!
* It's worse than we thought
* Question of the day
* Long-term debt is not short-term debt
* Today's quotable
* Yesterday's blog posts

Support CapitolFax.com
Visit our advertisers...

...............

...............

...............

...............

...............

...............

...............


Search This Blog...

Search the 98th General Assembly By Bill Number
(example: HB0001)

Search the 98th General Assembly By Keyword

          
        * Nexus 6 Stand Folio Case now available on Google Play
        * Chainfire updates SuperSU, CF-Auto-Root, How-to SU
        * 10 excellent movies to stream on Netflix over Thanksgiving weekend
        * Opera Mini for Android gets updated
        * YubiKeys by Yubico provide two-factor authentication by USB
        * Germany’s Linshof i8 boasts 80 GB of storage
        * Take down E.V.I.L with Agent Awesome Android game

        * Give Babies and Young Kids Less Frequent Baths to Reduce Eczema Issues
        * ReWalk Exoskeleton Helps Marine Walk Again
        * Apple and (RED) Team Up to Help Raise Funds to Fight AIDS
        * Kotex Creates Best Site of All Time, Period
        * Keep Gravy Warm and Smooth for Hours in a Thermos
        * How to stop Twitter from seeing what mobile apps you’ve installed
        * Apple And Samsung 2014 Black Friday Deals

        * Catching up with Tadahito Iguchi
        * White Sox ACE program helps send players to college
        * Additional 2005 fan-favorite players added to '15 SoxFest
        * White Sox introduce Adam LaRoche and their plans for him
        * White Sox plan for contention a work in progress
        * White Sox officially announce LaRoche deal
        * Red Sox seize offseason driver's seat with signings

        ...............


        Main Menu
        Home
        Illinois
        YouTube
        Pundit rankings
        Obama
        Subscriber Content
        Durbin
        Burris
        Blagojevich Trial
        Advertising
        Updated Posts
        Polls

        Archives
        November 2014
        October 2014
        September 2014
        August 2014
        July 2014
        June 2014
        May 2014
        April 2014
        March 2014
        February 2014
        January 2014
        December 2013
        November 2013
        October 2013
        September 2013
        August 2013
        July 2013
        June 2013
        May 2013
        April 2013
        March 2013
        February 2013
        January 2013
        December 2012
        November 2012
        October 2012
        September 2012
        August 2012
        July 2012
        June 2012
        May 2012
        April 2012
        March 2012
        February 2012
        January 2012
        December 2011
        November 2011
        October 2011
        September 2011
        August 2011
        July 2011
        June 2011
        May 2011
        April 2011
        March 2011
        February 2011
        January 2011
        December 2010
        November 2010
        October 2010
        September 2010
        August 2010
        July 2010
        June 2010
        May 2010
        April 2010
        March 2010
        February 2010
        January 2010
        December 2009
        November 2009
        October 2009
        September 2009
        August 2009
        July 2009
        June 2009
        May 2009
        April 2009
        March 2009
        February 2009
        January 2009
        December 2008
        November 2008
        October 2008
        September 2008
        August 2008
        July 2008
        June 2008
        May 2008
        April 2008
        March 2008
        February 2008
        January 2008
        December 2007
        November 2007
        October 2007
        September 2007
        August 2007
        July 2007
        June 2007
        May 2007
        April 2007
        March 2007
        February 2007
        January 2007
        December 2006
        November 2006
        October 2006
        September 2006
        August 2006
        July 2006
        June 2006
        May 2006
        April 2006
        March 2006
        February 2006
        January 2006
        December 2005
        April 2005
        March 2005
        February 2005
        January 2005
        December 2004
        November 2004
        October 2004

        Blog*Spot Archives
        November 2005
        October 2005
        September 2005
        August 2005
        July 2005
        June 2005
        May 2005

        Syndication

        RSS Feed 2.0
        Comments RSS 2.0
        WordPress

        Loading


        * Rauners serve Thanksgiving meals at West Side s.....
        * Will Rauner want the mansion?..
        * Let's give thanks for aldermanic elections..


        * Woman's body found near Whiteside county jail
        * Against odds, Chicago school aims for championship
        * Against odds, Chicago school aims for championship
        * Liver transplant recipient marks 25th anniversary
        * Woman's body found near Whiteside county jail
        * VSU chief financial officer to leave for new job
        * Collinsville man guilty of murder in fatal wreck
        * 3 arrested in Chicago during Ferguson protest
        * Clemency for man wrongfully jailed for 1991 murder
        * Illinois doctor fined over medical marijuana slip

        * Illinois attorney general files notice of appeal in pension case
        * Quinn grants clemency to 126 ahead of holiday
        * Illinois gives $4.5M food banks for modernization
        * State begins accepting fracking applications
        * Debt rating agencies weigh in on state pension ruling
        * Lisa Madigan to ask Illinois Supreme Court to consider pensions
        * Rauner tackles transition agenda
        * Attorney general warns of immigration scams
        * State pension changes ruled unconstitutional; appeal to Illinois Supreme Court next
        * State to refund $60 million in retiree health care money

        * Most BP oil spill claims handled correctly, McGladrey says
        * Illinois AG Madigan files notice of appeal in pension case
        * Congressmen sound alarm over anti-Asian Carp move
        * Motorola Mobility loses bid to extend antitrust law reach
        * Chicago business activity is growing—but at a slower pace


        * Rauners don hairnets, serve Thanksgiving to homeless
        * Norman Schoer, viola player with Grant Park Orchestra and Lyric Opera, dies at 103
        * Cupich: Work needed to ‘repair our broken immigration system’
        * Obama 2014 Thanksgiving menu: Turkey, Ham, six kinds of pies
        * Obama guidance, press schedule Nov 27-30, 2014 Thanksgiving break
        * Charity event looks like turkey tokenism
        * Decatur Classical parents want to expand into old Stewart building
        * Cupich: More must be done to ‘repair our broken immigration system’
        * Gutierrez: Obama's immigration delay cost Pat Quinn votes
        * Charity event looks like turkey tokenism


        * Archbishop Cupich emphasizes spiritual blessings at Lake Forest Thanksgiving mass
        * 1 shot on South Side
        * Judge reassigned after failing to follow contempt rules, officials say
        * Pre-Thanksgiving revelers in Naperville unfazed by new alcohol rules
        * Woman shot dead in apparent domestic-related shooting in Gary
        * Ferguson protester in Chicago charged with felony
        * Thanksgiving Day Parade kicks off at Congress and State
        * Crash-and-grab burglars hitting high-end stores in suburbs and Chicago
        * Flurries, cold expected for Thanksgiving
        * Crash-and-grab robbery in North Austin


        * LLCC Offers Variety Of Community Education Classes
        * Incoming U of I President Speaks To Springfield Audience
        * Another Year Of "Messiah" For Springfield Choral Society
        * New Exhibit On Lincoln's "Undying Words"
        * Locals Organize For Vigil In Response To Ferguson
        * Illinois Hunters Kill 52,000 Deer Over The Weekend
        * Pension Ruling "Credit Negative," But No Ratings Change
        * Tim Landis: Foreclosure Sales, CIPS Icehouse and Heritage River Trail
        * Part Timers & Manufacturing in Illinois Feeling a Slow Economic Recovery
        * Notes From Ferguson: A QA With St. Louis Public Radio's Rachel Lippmann


        * Our Opinion: Help combat hunger this holiday season
        * Eugene Robinson: On replacement, caution urged
        * George Will: Thanks, or something
        * Quote of the Day: Nov. 27, 2014
        * Illinois attorney general files notice of appeal in pension case
        * Quinn grants clemency to 126 ahead of holiday
        * Illinois gives $4.5M food banks for modernization
        * Michael Gerson: The big ‘but’ on immigration
        * Quote of the Day: Nov. 26, 2014
        * State begins accepting fracking applications


        * Thanksgiving Day shopper
        * Kenneth Saul
        * Indiana State Pregame 11-27-14
        * LIVE! Indiana State from Las Vegas
        * Library to host senior citizen program
        * Minonk Christmas light parade set Dec. 6
        * News in brief 11/27/14
        * YWCA Holiday Helpers program begins
        * Blue Sky Vineyard: A Tuscan hideaway in Southern Illinois
        * Illinois health officials offer turkey safety tip


        * Palatine Jaycees hold 57th annual tree sale
        * Naperville police watching for street racing on 95th
        * Navy recruits celebrate Thanksgiving with veterans in Arlington Heights
        * Images: Thanksgiving Day in the Suburbs
        * Suspect arrested after Elk Grove Village robbery

        * Congressman calls for removal of police co...
        * Congressmen Plan House Speech on Chicago's...
        * Sri Lanka's Downward Spiral - Foreign Policy
        * Davis To Obama: 'Do Everything In Your Pow...
        * Rahm Touts New Law to Clear Juvenile Polic...
        * Dem Rep. to Columnist: Stop Comparing Blac...
        * Davis retains US Congress 7th seat with ea...
        * Danny Davis Defeats Robert Bumpers In Illi...
        * Rehab of Affordable Housing Building in Ol...
        * Rep. Danny Davis Hopes to Keep His Seat fo...

        * Durbin Celebrates Obama’s Announcement at ......
        * We Blew It On Obamacare, Top Democrat Admi......

        * Iran's Supreme Leader supports extending t......
        * Chicago Tribuen: Squeeze a stalling Iran t......

        * "Nigerian Kitchen" Closes On Wilson
        * #HappyThanksgiving from The Sixth Ward blog!
        * In Chicago the race is on. It’s easy as ABC.
        * Lisa Madigan files her appeal.
        * The Better Government Association continues to spread the lie about public employee pensions.
        * Happy Thanksgiving. “My idea,” says Rahm.
        * Chicago parents demand answers from Emanuel after sex ed lessons revealed
        * Happy Thanksgiving
        * We're Grateful To Live In Uptown, And For You
        * Will Thanksgiving meal someday come at shopping mall food court?


        * Governor Quinn Announces Investment to Help Regional Food Banks Better Serve Those in Need - Governor’s Investment Will Ensure Lower Cost and Higher Efficiency for Services Reaching Nearly 2 Million Illinois Residents
        * Governor Pat Quinn Takes Clemency Action
        * Governor Quinn Statement on Abner Mikva Receiving Nation’s Highest Civilian Honor
        * Department of Insurance Announces Multi-State Settlement with Symetra Life Insurance and Symetra National Life Insurance Company - Illinois will share part of a $1.2 million penalty against Symetra Life regarding Life Insurance policies
        * Avoid Foodborne Illness This Holiday Season




            Hosted by MCS SUBSCRIBE to Capitol Fax Advertise Here Mobile Version Contact Rich Miller