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Question of the day

Monday, May 19, 2008 - Posted by Rich Miller

* The setup

Alan Keyes, who was recently beaten 3-to-1 for the Constitution Party nomination for President, has decided to continue his run for President as an “Independent”. In order to facilitate with ballot-access, Keyes is trying to start a new party called “America’s Independent Party”. He has groupings of supporters in Texas, California, Florida, New York and Missouri. […]

Next Keyes will be attempting to complete petitions in Arizona, New Mexico, North Carolina, Colorado, Conneticut, and Illinois—and it is unlikely he’ll get on the ballot in any of these states except for Colorado.

* The Question: Come up with a new name for Alan Keyes’ party. Snark heavily encouraged.

       

71 Comments
  1. - Snidely Whiplash - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:28 am:

    End the Humiliation: Elect Alan Keyes to SOMETHING Party


  2. - Mountain Man - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:32 am:

    Candidates No One Else Wants Party


  3. - montrose - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:35 am:

    The Effingham County Party


  4. - OneMan - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:42 am:

    Check your dosages party
    This time for sure party
    Delusions are us


  5. - Conservative Republican - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:45 am:

    Why “encourage” “snark”, Mr. Miller? I would think that the liberals of Illinois would stand in line to give Keyes bear hugs and kisses, since he is the instrumentality mostly responsible for the rise of Barack Obama. In most cases, when a successful politician has advanced in part due to the ineptitude of a past election opponent, that politician is just as happy to see that opponent resurface to help keep the opposition in disarray. Shouldn’t Barry be happy that Keyes wants to be on the ballot again, if for no other reason to stand as a lucky charm signally another victory for Barry?


  6. - Rich Miller - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:47 am:

    ===since he is the instrumentality mostly responsible for the rise of Barack Obama.===

    LOL. You’re joking, right?


  7. - Rob_N - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:48 am:

    The Selfish Hedonism Party


  8. - GoBearsss - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:49 am:

    “Obama for America”


  9. - God's Country - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:49 am:

    The Cub Party

    They haven’t won anything either.


  10. - Leroy - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:51 am:

    ===since he is the instrumentality mostly responsible for the rise of Barack Obama.===

    I’d blame that on Blair Hull, not Alan Keyes


  11. - BehindTheScenes - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:54 am:

    Long Term Losers


  12. - Bluefish - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:55 am:

    “Libertarians Optimistic for Strong Election Results” Party


  13. - Kevin Fanning - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:56 am:

    The CPC - The Crazy Pious Carpetbaggers Party

    “Come help us cast the first stone.”


  14. - Levois - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:57 am:

    The only one man is important to save our society party!


  15. - Speaking At Will - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:57 am:

    The “K.E.G.” Party.

    Stands for “Keyes Election Group.”


  16. - Snidely Whiplash - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:58 am:

    Yep, Blair Hull did an instantaneous self-destruct, and Obie was the recipient of a rare mood of anti-nepotism by primary voters when voters by-passed Dan Hynes (then polling double Obama’s single-digit numbers as I recall), leaving Obama the surprise recipient of Hull’s huge lead in the polls.


  17. - Bill S. Preston, Esq. - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:01 pm:

    NACIH Party… not a chance in hell. Want to waste money and confuse voters? Join the NACIH Party!


  18. - hmmm - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:01 pm:

    The poodle party…
    We’ll bark alot, annoy some people, but mostly go unnoticed


  19. - 47th Ward - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:02 pm:

    The “It’s a Living Party” to continue to enable him to raise cash to pay his own salary. Nice.


  20. - Kevin Fanning - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:04 pm:

    ===leaving Obama the surprise recipient of Hull’s huge lead in the polls.===

    lol, sounds like it was a pretty effortless feat


  21. - Rich Miller - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:07 pm:

    People, none of that stuff was a surprise. Reporters knew about murmurings about Hull’s background and Jack Ryan’s background for months. And don’t forget that Dan Hynes was also running. Those votes didn’t magically just go to Obama because he was the only other person in the primary. They had to be earned. Hynes, who was the early favorite despite what you read today, got steam-rolled. Hull moved up in the polls by virtue of his big spending, but his support was always a mile wide and a millimeter deep.


  22. - Waco Kid - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:13 pm:

    The Jim Oberweis Party


  23. - VanillaMan - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:17 pm:

    The Alan Keyes Party


  24. - Kevin Highland - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:17 pm:

    Bluefish,

    I love what the acronym for your party suggestion boils down to!!!!!


  25. - pickles!! - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:18 pm:

    The “We’re Not Going Away, But We Should” party. This group will run for any office anytime there is an election, with no chance on winning. Members include Keyes, John Cox, Oberweis, Joe Birkett, Christine Cegelis, Jim Ryan, and anyone who ever runs against Mayor Daley.


  26. - wordslinger - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:25 pm:

    The Beats Working Party.


  27. - Wild Bill - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:28 pm:

    How about the Andy McKenna/Tom Cross Party?


  28. - Anon sequitor - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:28 pm:

    Keyes Runs for America Party (KRAP)


  29. - Chicago Guy - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:30 pm:

    Narcissist Party of America


  30. - Anon from BB - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:46 pm:

    The Ankle Biter Party


  31. - If It Walks Like a Duck... - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:51 pm:

    GOP - Good Old Plutocrats Party


  32. - train111 - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:54 pm:

    Long On Oratorical Nonsense

    L.O.O.N.

    train111


  33. - Little Egypt - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 12:56 pm:

    Must we give Alan Keyes any further attention?


  34. - Joe in the Know - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 1:02 pm:

    “The Donner Party”


  35. - Ghost - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 1:04 pm:

    The Right-wing Independents Turpitudinous Egotist’s

    TRITE


  36. - Pot calling kettle - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 1:06 pm:

    So Far Right It’s Wrong Party


  37. - Pot calling kettle - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 1:06 pm:

    Knee-Jerk Conservative Party


  38. - NimROD - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 1:14 pm:

    How about we just call them what they are: the 21st Century Carpetbagger Party. Founder Emeritus: Hillary Clinton.

    Alan: Please go away!


  39. - Muskrat - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 1:23 pm:

    The “This guy used to work at the State Department? Really? Man, that place has done nothing but go downhill since Warren Christopher left” Party.


  40. - Vote Quimby! - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 1:45 pm:

    KEYES Party: Keep Eternally Yearning for Elected Service


  41. - train111 - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 1:51 pm:

    Please Stop me!!

    Keyes Our Only Kandidate party

    K.O.O.K.

    train111


  42. - Wumpus - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 1:53 pm:

    Rich, he is not the sole reason for the rise of St. Obama, but he was very helpful. The fact that he was free to roam the country performing miracles while he maintened a 50% lead in the polls didn’t help.

    Hull, Ryan, Obama’s magnetism (intelligence) whatever, inept GOP, etc

    Whatever the party is called, it should include John Cox and Jim Oberwies


  43. - Vote Quimby! - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 1:53 pm:

    careful train111….only 1 K away from trouble!


  44. - He Makes Ryan look like a Saint - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 2:04 pm:

    THE ILLINOIS REPUBLICAN PARTY!!!


  45. - decaturvoter - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 2:04 pm:

    Clueless for Keyes


  46. - Rob_N - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 2:15 pm:

    Wumpus,

    Alan Keyes was brought to Illinois at the invitation of State Sens. Rauschenberger, Syverson, etc.

    Many of Illinois’ conservative activists, lobbyists, and perennial campaign staffers cheered that move and set about working or volunteering for Keyes.

    He didn’t force himself on IRP or the Illinois conservative base — they invited him and worked for him.

    So instead of passing the buck, any “blame” directed at Keyes is more properly placed at their feet instead.

    [/OT]


  47. - SO ILL - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 2:24 pm:

    “A reporter’s dream” party.


  48. - Angry Chicagoan - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 2:44 pm:

    The Monster Raving Ego Party.

    This is hardly original on my part; it was suggested by a strip cartoonist, Steve Bell, in England 20 years ago for Dr. David Owen (aka Dr Death) when, having broken off from Labour in the early 1980s, Owen broke away from the Liberal Democrats to form his own party that very quickly went nowhere, then decided he was a Tory, and has finally ended up as a “crossbench” peer (no political affiliation) in the House of Lords.

    But despite the fact it isn’t original, it really is Alan Keyes.


  49. - DOWNSTATE - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 2:53 pm:

    Keyes wins over Blago by 37 points.


  50. - Ghost - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 3:01 pm:

    Not even the Green Party will take us party


  51. - Vote Quimby! - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 3:04 pm:

    What Separates You From A Raving Lunatic On A Street Corner? Party


  52. - Vote Quimby! - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 3:05 pm:

    Give Jim Leach A Reason To Talk Party


  53. - Nort'sider - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 3:10 pm:

    Party Of One!


  54. - Snidely Whiplash - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 3:13 pm:

    With all due respect to the opinions of others, nobody but his state senate constituents (those who know who their senator is, anyway), press and political junkies knew who the hell Obama even was at the time Blair Hull’s personal issues became public.


  55. - Wild Bill - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 3:15 pm:

    Little E
    Most think the candidate of the McKenna/Cross Party is entitled to as much pub as the AccordianGal
    BTW the tinfoil hats at the Champaign NewsGazette ran the AccordianGal column too.


  56. - THE CARDINAL - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 3:30 pm:

    How about .J.G.A.P. Just Go Away Party your 15 minutes of buffoonery is OVER


  57. - Nort'sider - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 3:30 pm:

    Snidely @3:13,

    Yep, you’re right, and now he’s the Democrats’ presumptive nominee. That’s either due to that little fairy godmother who flies around in the “Fractured Fairy Tales” intro, or because the man and the moment have converged. Your call.


  58. - John Bambenek - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 3:36 pm:

    I don’t think it is unfair to “credit” Alan Keyes for helping make Barack Obama. Sure, he may have won anyway, but imagine what a campaign with a comptent Republican opponent would have entailed. All the stuff about Wright would have come out then instead of now. Perhaps even Obama’s “elitist” remarks about God and guns. His ties to Ayers and Dohrn, etc.

    He may have won, but he wouldn’t have won by a 40 point margin. Heck, if Jack Ryan stayed in he wouldn’t have won by that much. Obama did get a free ride to the Senate because of Keyes and surely a good opponent would have gotten his negatives out then instead of now.

    Again, he may still have won, but he wouldn’t nearly be as sainted as he is today.


  59. - The Federalist - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 3:37 pm:

    The Ancient Party of Delusionists


  60. - Squideshi - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 3:55 pm:

    I support Keyes right to form a new political party and achieve ballot access. We need more competition in our political marketplace of ideas. I simply hope that he never wins.


  61. - Getting Too Old For This - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 4:34 pm:

    I can’t believe someone else hasn’t thought of this one — The Don Quixote Party–Windmill Tilters for Keyes.


  62. - jerry 101 - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 4:42 pm:

    How about the Hybrid Party?

    He’s as black as Obama…

    And…

    As Conservative as McCain!!


  63. - Belle - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 4:53 pm:

    Make Him Go Away–Elect Alan Keyes to somethi8ng, anything! or Whose pocket are the Keyes in?


  64. - Boone Logan Square - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 5:01 pm:

    “Alan Keyes Is Making Sense.”

    The name is just as amusing for a political party as it was for his short-lived (isn’t everything about Alan Keyes short-lived?) MSNBC show.


  65. - so-called "Austin Mayor" - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 5:34 pm:

    Since the obvious choice — Hizbullah, the Party of God — is already taken, how about The Antediluvians.

    – SCAM
    so-called “Austin Mayor”
    http://austinmayor.blogspot.com


  66. - Dill Vlasic - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 7:32 pm:

    Pickles, with not one but two exclamation points:

    Oh, yeah, Jim Ryan had no chance of winning. None.

    The media hosed him. Big time. Everywhere.

    Sheep followed.

    Look what you ended up with.

    With apologies to Stella Foster, Yeah! I said it.


  67. - HoosierDaddy - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 7:42 pm:

    If politicos in Chicago can adopt the name of one of their heroes for the name of their party, i.e. Harold Washington Party, why can’t Keyes:

    the Harold Stassen Party!


  68. - Anonymous - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 8:08 pm:

    From what I remember, Hynes’ people didn’t even try to win.


  69. - Quizzical - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:30 pm:

    Pompousarty


  70. - A Citizen - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 11:43 pm:

    “America’s Independent Party” For a Fresh, Clean, and Eloquent approach to politics! It’s the New Wave!


  71. - John Presta - Tuesday, May 20, 08 @ 2:51 am:

    And by the way, I don’t recall Dan Hynes not trying to win. It may have looked that way because he ran as if he were the incumbent Senator. You know, the entitlement thing. Sound familiar. To Dan’s credit, I think he may have learned something from that experience. Essential rule of politics: Only act like the incumbent if you are the incumbent.


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


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