* The Illinois Tollway has a new mascot…

The newest mascot on the scene is the Illinois tollway’s Captain Tollway, a cross-eyed caped crusader with a face that only the mother of Royal Canadian Mountie Dudley DoRight could love.

It’s hard to imagine Captain Tollway experiencing life in the fast lane with i-Zoom Girl, the buxom mascot for the Indiana Toll Road’s i-Zoom toll transponder system. A Hoosier hot to trot, i-Zoom Girl’s orange hair matches the orange chevrons decorating her knee-high boots.

Still, with the Memorial Day weekend officially kicking off the summer driving season, Captain Tollway is ushering in the “Know Before You Go” campaign of the Illinois State Toll Highway Authority.

And here he is…

* Question: Come up with mascots for both the Illinois House and the Illinois Senate.

Bonus question: How about a mascot for the governor?

…Adding… Some of these responses aren’t as self-evident as you may think they are, so I’m gonna ask that you explain your nominations. Thanks.

       

37 Comments - Name Withheld - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:20 am: Rod Blagojevich: Wile E. Coyote - super genius Illinois House: Road Runner Illinois Senate: Acme (cause all their stuff breaks) - OneMan - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:32 am: Rod: Tennessee Tuxedo (plans never work out) House: Cosmo from Fairly Odd-Parents Senate: Carl from Jimmy Neutron Boy Genus (never quite with the plan) - Levois - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:33 am: Gov: Dudley Do Right House: Underdog Senate: Sniveling Snidley - Vote Quimby! - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:34 am: Illinois Senate: Rich Uncle Pennybags (from Monopoly) wearing the barrel outfit you get when you have to pay the $15 ‘poor tax.’ Illinois House: the ’speak-no-evil’ monkey Governor: The Chicago Cubs. No matter the odds, he just keeps plugging away hoping someone will buy into his plan to sell all the state’s assets so he can move on to higher office. - The Three Stooges? - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:37 am: Rod: Goofy House: Bugs Bunny Senate: Elmer Fudd - Anon - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:39 am: The House, Senate and The Gov.: The Three Little Pigs… - clj - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:40 am: From the cast of SpongeBob SquarePants Gov. - Patrick Sen. - Mr. Crabs House - Squidward - Bluefish - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:45 am: House: Sigmund and the Sea Monsters Senate: The Banana Splits Blago: H.R. Pufnstuf - Mr. Ethics - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:46 am: The “Soggy Bottom Boys” from “Oh brother where art thou”. The Gov. can be the leader since he is always concerned with his hair, and the house and senate are his two singers - “dumber than a box of hammers”. - Deep South - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:47 am: Why in the world does the Illinois Tollway need a mascot? Talk about a waster of taxpayer dollars. Geez…only in northern Illinois. - VanillaMan - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:53 am: Blagoejvich: Once a mild mannered civil servant who accidentially overdosed on testicular virility, turning him into “Barney!”, the 110 pound man of clay, (with bad back acne). When confronted by his evil nemesis, Reporter Man, Barney instantly protects himself with his toddler shields and helmet hairdo. Senate: Once a mild mannered barnyard beast named “Figero”, he accidentially fell into a radioactive trough of tax dollars. Figero became “Porky”, the 9000 pound money hog who wallows in political mud. Smell that? That’s the Illinois Senate! House: Once a mild mannered balding accountant named Milford Milligan who loved lawn bowling and Chex Mix, “Milly” became “Tricky”, a book balancer who disappears when bills show up in the mail. Tricky is an arch nemesis of Barney and Porky. - Kevin Fanning - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:53 am: From beloved childhood t.v. series, “the Smurfs”: Speaker Madigan: Papa Smurf - Papa Smurf is the leader of the Smurfs, and the only Smurf who wears red. Papa Smurf brings the Smurfs to safety in times of danger and crisis. Everyone in Smurf Village turns to Papa Smurf when things go awry. Papa is always busy making magical spells and potions in his laboratory. Governor Blagojevich: Gargamel - The Smurfs face a most singular nemesis - Gargamel. The evil Gargamel is a wizard who spends his days trying to capture, eat, and otherwise destroy the Smurfs. Gargamel is absolutely obsessed with the Smurfs and lives for the day he is victorious over our little blue buddies. Senate President Jones: Azrael - Gargamel has a long-suffering sidekick named Azrael (not “Azreal” or “Azrial”). Azrael is a tough, mangy cat who compounds the Smurfs’ problems when they’re being chased by Gargamel. - bored now - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:00 am: the house: the brain the senate: pinky the guv: an ostrich The cartoon’s famous tagline is: Pinky: “Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?” The Brain: “The same thing we do every night, Pinky- try to take over the world.” like pinky and the brain, the house never really succeeds in it’s quest to “take over the world,” but they keep trying (each and every day). the ostrich should be an obvious choice: the guv keeps his head buried in the sand, intentionally oblivious to the world around him… - Rich Miller - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:01 am: Last year while riding on “the bus,” the governor compared himself to Robin Hood and put Madigan in the role of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Somebody (I think it was me) jokingly suggested that Jones might be Maid Marian. - Kevin Fanning - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:04 am: LOL - Wild Bill - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:20 am: Capt. Fax: Isnt’t the real question which PR firm ripped off the Tollway with this crummy idea and how man tols will we pay to fund it? was the company tied to: —- University of Emil? —- Wymaramabama? —- SpinSisters (Retired) —- All of the Above - the Other Anonymous - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:32 am: For the House, I picture a leprechaun much like the “Fighting Irish” mascot; you never know what leprechauns plan, and you can never really catch them. For the Senate, a mastiff. They’re big, loyal, and ultimately goofy and uncoordinated. And the Governor reminds me of the Hamburglar. He thinks he has clever plans to rob McDonaldland of its burgers, but they never really pan out. - wordslinger - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:51 am: Governor: Alfred E. Neuman — What? Me worry? Madigan: Notre Dame Fighting Irishman — scrapper, storied tradition of winning (not to open up that can of worms) Jones: Grizzly Bear — ravenous appetite (especially for pork), deep growl, won’t back down. For the tollway, how could they not pick John “Quarters” Boyle? He personifies the system. - If It Walks Like a Duck... - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 11:28 am: Governor Gobbledygook, the Sinister Senators,and Mike’s Mighty Mice (self-explanatory?) - Disgusted - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 11:29 am: Blago - George W. Bush channeling Alfred E. Newman (all smart-a–es, inarticulate and without conscience.) Madigan - Howard Hughes (silent but deadly) Jones - Porky Pig (Tha’a-a-a–a-at’s all, folks) - Wumpus - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 11:35 am: Gov-Pepe Le Pew- he tries to sweet talk everyone, but in the end he just stinks. House-Dee-Dee from Dexter’s Laboratory-always getting in the way of the “Boy Genius”, but she is pretty useless herself Senate-Bobby Boucher (adam Sandler from the Waterboy) as they are always carrying the gov’s water) - Yellow Dog Democrat - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 11:50 am: Gov - Captain Roddy D’Nyle - Parrot w/ Elvis hairdo who just keeps saying “Roddy Wants a Kickback” and “Who’s Public Official A? Who’s Public Official A??” over and over. House - Lucky the Leprechaun - “They’re Always after me Member Initiatives!” Senate - Huggy Bear - “Look Rizzod, wizzy not gonna be blunt-rollin’ health care this year.” (Translation courtesy of www.gizoogle.com.) - Ghost - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 11:52 am: House: Superman Senate: Frankenstein Hendon: Pinochio Gov: Mongo (from Blazing Saddles) - Louis G. Atsaves - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 12:30 pm: I tried to come up with cartoon characters but settled on an old movie comedy team combination instead: House: Stan Laurel Senate: Oliver Hardy Governor: James Finlayson Laurel and Hardy were always trying to outdo each other and would look sillier and sillier in the process. Their famous foil James Finlayson would play the store owner, landlord, competitor etc. that would always try to outfox the other two and they in turn always tried to outfox him. The results: Usually a huge pie fight while business gets neglected or destroyed. The upshot: Hardy turning to Laurel and saying “This is another fine mess you’ve gotten me into” at the conclusion of the melee. - Snidely Whiplash - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 12:31 pm: House: C3P0 (hey, everyone needs a timid, robotic yes-man around). Senate: Jimmy Giles (Jimmy still didn’t “get the job,” and would serve as a good reminder to Emil Jones that HE doesn’t really need food stamps). Governor: Cookie the Clown (the newest reincarnation of Bozo who’s supposed to be sitting in the governor’s mansion could use the support of Bozo’s traditional sidekick). - Wondering - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 12:41 pm: I’d say the Three Stooges and assignment does not matter. - decaturvoter - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 1:21 pm: Governor: Governor from Blazing Saddles Speaker Madigan: Patton’s 3rd Army Senator Jones: Giant $$$$$$ signs flashing - cover - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 1:30 pm: Why not ask for a caption for the goofy Captain Tollway cartoon? “George not swing from jungle vine now. George fly over Tollway!” Watch out for that (ooh!) overpass. - Mad Max - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 1:45 pm: I am just a little surprised that Rod didn’t get a photo of his face super-imposed upon the body of Captain Tollway? Rod loves to get his name and face on every taxpayer paid for sign, object, or media photo that he can. Rod is a big believer in “Any taxpayer funded publicity is better than no publicity at all.” For the Illinois House of Representatives mascot, it would seem that Alfred E. Neuman (What, me worry?) might be an appropriate fit. For the Illinois State Senate, perhaps Wiley Coyote (who always managed to go over a cliff in his attempts to feast on the Road Runner (the mascot of the Illinois taxpayer). As far as an appropriate mascot for Governor Blagojevich, perhaps a bobble-head doll of George Ryan? - Loop Lady - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 4:08 pm: Gov: Alfred E. Neuman ( I swear he looks just like him) Michael Madigan: Travis Bickle ( DeNiro in Taxi Driver You talkin’ to ME? Emil Jones: Barney Fife (Andy, it wasn’t me!) - Truthful James - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 4:32 pm: Mad Max – That’s funny, because I thought that the Tollway mascot was indeed a caricature of the Governor. - Come On Now - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 5:32 pm: The true question should be “Why do we even have a Captain Tollway in the first place?” He epitomizes (in 2-D) the most buffoonish and childish elements of this administration. The mascot is ridiculous, stupid and a colossal waste of money. Like a lot of things in this state, unfortunately. - State worker w/ an MBA - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 8:19 pm: I would like to know how much? and who got the contract to design it? - Gregor - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 8:38 pm: Look at that cartoon’s hairdo and tell me that’s not based on Rod already. - Southern Illinois Voter - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 8:45 pm: Mr. Ethics - good answer! - unclesam - Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:23 pm: Governor - Cousin It Madigan - Gomez Addams (the plan always worked in the end) Jones - Lurch (the butler with the distinctive voice) - Tollway Dan - Wednesday, May 28, 08 @ 6:53 am: Wonder how much they paid the advertising firm who came uo with that silly useless logo? How about - Ripeoff Man Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.