The Burris beat
Monday, Feb 2, 2009 - Posted by Rich Miller
* Sen. Roland Burris explains that goofy tombstone of his by throwing the funeral home manager or the cemetery manager (maybe it’s the same person, or maybe not) under the bus…
“The cemetery in Oak Woods insisted when I went out to plan my estate that my résumé be put on it. That wasn’t me. That was the manager of the funeral home,” he said. “They insisted that my résumé be put up and they came up with that design and did all that.”
The argument that convinced him, he said, was that former Chicago Mayor Harold Washington is buried at this cemetery and he could not afford for the funeral home to give him the burial he deserved.
“The manager of the cemetery said, ‘Mr. Burris, your accomplishments are too many to let them not be known to young people.’ And he convinced my wife and I that that’s what should be done,” he said. “I questioned it and my wife questioned it, and we knew there would be that type of reaction, but we said we would be willing to overcome the cynicism of the press in order to let it be known for future generations.”
Any suggestion that space was left in case Burris won yet another political office is just not true, he said, adding that the news media is “just dreaming up stuff” and “people are laughing at me.”
“I had nothing to do with who designed that or who left a space at the top, that’s how they put the words in,” Burris said.
Too funny.
* Meanwhile, US Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid has now done a complete turnaround on Burris. First, Reid tried to keep Burris out, now he’s loaning Burris a top staffer…
Newly seated Sen. Roland Burris (D-Ill.) has scored a personnel coup in snagging Darrel Thompson, senior adviser to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.), as his interim chief of staff.
Thompson, who was chief of staff to President Barack Obama’s Senate campaign in 2004, will be on loan to Burris for an undetermined amount of time, Reid’s office announced Friday evening. […]
“As the Leader of the U.S. Senate, I will do all that I can to support the success of Sen. Burris and that begins with detailing one of my most respected senior staff members,” Reid said in a statement. “Darrel’s institutional knowledge combined with his strong relationship with Members and staffs in both the Senate and House, will undoubtedly serve Sen. Burris well.”
Thompson is expected to help Burris fill other senior staff positions while aiding Burris in “developing a sound strategy to promote Senator Burris’ forthcoming legislative agenda and establishing constituent services and relations for the people of Illinois,” the statement noted.
However, Thompson will also continue to retain his title as senior adviser to Reid.
The press release announcing the move was distributed at 6:22 Friday night, Eastern time. Kinda buried, eh?
- Team America - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:00 pm:
Not to be overly cynical, but is Reid’s move to help Burris or control him?
- OneMan - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:01 pm:
He did it for the kids….
Even if the story is true, did he ever just think how the guy was up-selling him?
- Phineas J. Whoopee - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:06 pm:
Mrs. Peach, Mrs. Peach where are we going on our field trip?
Well children, we are going to the cemetery to see the tomb of the Illinois Trail Blazer Roland Burris.
Waaaaa.
- Ann - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:09 pm:
I’m sure the new Senator Burris needs all the help he can get, so I’ll take this as a positive development. The tombstone thing I don’t buy, except that maybe he’s the most gullible guy in town. On second thought…..
- The Doc - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:11 pm:
The cemetery manager made me do it?
I’m speechless.
- enrico depressario - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:11 pm:
“People are laughing at me”
You betcha
- The 'Broken Heart' of Rogers Park - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:11 pm:
===“people are laughing at me.”===
He’s just now figuring this out?
- Deep South - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:12 pm:
I still think Reid was “under the influence” of Durbin and that Durbin shot his mouth off before realizing, that in the end, there was little he or anyone could do to prevent Burris from becoming a senator. I wonder what the Reid/Durbin relationship is like right now?
- Ron Burgundy - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:14 pm:
This quote is perfect for dispelling any notions that Roland Burris is an egomaniac — “I have had one of the most interesting lives of anyone who has ever lived.”
Senator Burris? Blago’s buddies Lincoln, Gandhi and Dr. King, among many many others, would like a word…
- Say WHAT? - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:19 pm:
The last time I checked, Cemetary Managers tend to be extremely careful about every single word, its spelling and every symbol placed on it. They also run it past the customer or their family before they submit it so they will agree to pay the amount on the contract. Unless it was free. Do we know
- wordslinger - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:19 pm:
There’s going to be a lot of jockeying among Dems to see if they can get a one-on-one shot at Roland in the primary. Won’t be easy.
- Pot calling kettle - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:35 pm:
I have had one of the most interesting lives of anyone who has ever lived as well! Who hasn’t?
The whole tombstone thing concerns me even more now, because it looks like anyone with a good sales rap can talk our new Senator into buying just about anything.
- Been There - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:37 pm:
===I wonder what the Reid/Durbin relationship is like right now? ===
Even if you are correct that it was Durbin who screwed up (I think Reid switched Durbin around because he didn’t want the GOP to have a shot at the seat) Reid is not going to tick off the new president by sending Durbin into the back woods.
- Vote Quimby! - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:40 pm:
So he can be talked into a huge upsell from a cemetery manager and he is qualified to be a U.S. Senator? How will he perform when it is time for the hard questions? ‘Well I just talked to the Russian general and he said those multiple missile launces were just a fireworks show to honor my career…’
- beagle - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:43 pm:
I think that Mr. Thompson should play a big role in all of the office supply procurement decisions too. Sen. Burris has shown very poor sales resistance in the past and a shifty office depot guy could really slip one by him. “Yeah, you could go with the yellow post-it notes — I mean a lot of people do that, but what about future generations? Ok, so put you down for a gross of these marble tablets? Thanks Mr. Burris. My uncle the cemetery manager said you’d be a pleasure to work with. Now with the tablets you’re gonna need tablet polish……”
- Vote Quimby! - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:45 pm:
I just saw the nice little Burris involvement in the IFDA funeral directors lawsuit…I can’t believe Rod didn’t vet this guy!
- VanillaMan - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:49 pm:
Honestly, Senator, do you really think we believe that pack of lies? You had no choice how your mausoleum was designed? You had no choice regarding the wording on the mausoleum for which you paid? Harold Washington has a tasteful resting place, but your gauch Taj Mahal is just a price forced on you and your wife by strangers at Oak Woods? They didn’t force an embarrassment like your on Harold Washington’s kin? What - they think you’re more important than Washington?
You are the man who was laughed at because you insisted on being called “General” while serving as Attorney General, seemingly unaware of why the office you sought was titled as such. You still think you were a general? Who would screw up their job title like that, except a guy searching for validation? Or a guy with a mausoleum like yours?
You are the man who was laughed at for supping with Rod Blagojevich the Political Leper when every American Democrat with a shred of conscience shunned him. Your vainglorious hunger for fool’s gold and baubles corroded your common sense. Only a man with a faux Grant’s Tomb could be so vulgar.
Sorry, but your tomb fits - so wear it and stop claiming it was forced on you. Now you lie!
- Anon - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:51 pm:
I bet he got the clear coat on his last car as well..
- Wyatt Earp - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:51 pm:
I was asked to attend last Monday’s MLK, Jr./Operation PUSH scholarship breakfast. Durbin and Burris were last-minute add-on speakers. Durbin gave the expected I’m-so-glad-to-be-here blather. Burris, though, began telling the 2,000 attendees just how great a man he truly is.
Inquiring of someone more familiar with the man than I, I asked if Burris recites his entire c.v. (as engraved upon his tombstone) at all of his public appearances or were we just unlucky.
Answer: HE RECITES IT ALL THE TIME.
How . . . unfortunate.
How long these next two years will seem.
- anon - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:51 pm:
He named his son Roland and his daughter Rolanda. No ego there.
- Anon - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:54 pm:
The Tomb of the Unknown Trailblazer.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:54 pm:
anon, he might just be into alliteration. lol
Also, I was named after my father, so naming his son Roland doesn’t seem - to me, at least - to be a big deal. Rolanda, however…
- downstate demo - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 2:55 pm:
Mayor Washington will live on in history as a greater individual than RWB will ever be.
RWB was a legend in his own mind when he was Comptroller.
One remembers Burris addressing his first swearing in as Comptroller when he talked about visiting Lincoln’s Tomb and hoping someday people would speak of the “Land of Burris”.
- anon - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:01 pm:
I guess George Foreman was already taken.
- Irish - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:01 pm:
I am afraid this is just the beginning. I wondered how the Senate glossed over the connection between Burris and Blago. The donation that netted the State Contracts. Now this goofy explanation of how he was “forced” to emblazon his headstone with all his accomplighments. What will be next?
And TA - My thoughts exactly. did Reid just place a mole in Burris’s office to keep tabs on him?
- Anon - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:03 pm:
He speaks..
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-ap-il-burris-firstspeec,0,7727767.story
- The 'Broken Heart' of Rogers Park - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:04 pm:
===I was named after my father===
Enough said…. lol.
- The Football - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:16 pm:
Maybe he’s just an admirer of Lithuanian philosopher Rolandas Pavilionis.
- VanillaMan - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:19 pm:
Nah, he he was named after the song, “Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner”.
Zevon!
- Anonymous - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:22 pm:
I got it, he owes it to the “young people” to impress them with his “greatness” i.e. resume as suggested by someone else, meaning the “funeral director”. He’s right, everyone is laughing at him. But like Blago, I doubt if he’s capable of learning from it. However unlike Blago, at least, he appears capable of hearing it.
- Phineas J. Whoopee - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:31 pm:
“I can’t believe Rod didn’t vet this guy!”
Good one-I hope that was a joke, right?
- Larry Mullholland - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:33 pm:
Left out of the press release is the fact that by naming a top Reid staffer to Burris will also allow Reid to keep VERY close tabs on the “Burris Agenda”.
- Vote Quimby! - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:34 pm:
PJW–yes, it was. Thanks for noticing. As soon as Rich gets a rim-shot app on the blog, I’m golden!
- Larry Mullholland - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:38 pm:
BTW Did anyone see the news that the Funeral Directors Assoc. created a PONZI. Burris helped create the investment fund.. then after leaving office lobbied for the group? I may not have all the facts exactly but it smells pretty rotten…TII This is Illlinois
- ThreeSheets - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:39 pm:
He didn’t want to name his kids Roland and Rolanda. It wasn’t his idea. The OB/GYN made him do it.
- Esteban - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:46 pm:
It’s comforting to know that Burris’s tombstone
is the most pressing thing that some folks in
the press have to write about…..
- Phineas J. Whoopee - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:51 pm:
Esteban, This story was meant to be a fluff piece about our new Senator. I agree that finding out why a guy forgave him over a million dollar loan or this funeral ponzi scheme is more improtant to investigate but it sure isn’t more humerous.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:54 pm:
Esteban, who said it was the “most pressing” thing to write about?
- wordslinger - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 3:56 pm:
Esteban, sorry to tear you away from your “Foreign Affairs,” “Bulletin of Atomic Scientists,” and “New York Review of Books,” but some of us plebes find the “Trailblazer,”not only unique but, going out on a limb here, revealing.
- The Unlicensed Hand Surgeon - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 4:01 pm:
That story about the tombstone isn’t believable unless the cemetary manager was the Paul Lynde charachter from “Send Me No Flowers.”
- Rollin Rollin Rollin - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 4:07 pm:
===Esteban, This story was meant to be a fluff piece about our new Senator. I agree that finding out why a guy forgave him over a million dollar loan or this funeral ponzi scheme is more improtant to investigate but it sure isn’t more humerous. ===
PJW you should also throw in his land deals in Lansing with the Ho-Chunks. We might need to take a caribbean cruise to see the whole picture.
- South Side Mike - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 4:10 pm:
A Burris musical interlude!
Roland, Roland, Roland (4x)
Roland, Roland, Roland,
Keeps funeral coffers swollen
Before the bell is tollin’
Rawhide!
Don’t try to understand it,
You’re better off to plan it,
Don’t leave it to the kids when you are done.
You might think I’m talkin’ foolish,
But don’t end up lookin’ stoolish,
Just like that dear old Mayor Washington.
(Chorus)
Set ‘em up! Etch it in!
Make it grand! Make it big!
Twist ‘em in! Turn it up!
Rawhide!
Wring ‘em dry! Sell ‘em high!
Play ‘em easy! Play ‘em sly!
Don’t give in! He’ll let you win!
Rawhide!
Roland, Roland, Roland,
Your future opponents are pollin’
Our hard earned tax dollars stolen
Rawhide!
You say you are trailblazin’
I say you are a raisin’
The ridicule heaped on Illinois.
But you’re gettin’ the last laugh,
For on your epitaph,
Senator will be the title. Oy!
(Chorus)
- ChampaignDweller - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 4:11 pm:
Blago relates to Gandhi, and Burris is channeling an Egyptian Pharoah.
- Been There - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 4:12 pm:
===I can’t believe Rod didn’t vet this guy!===
Can you imagine if the feds already have something on Burris? Just what we would need. A reason for the national press guys to come back. I hope he gets through this term unscathed.
- wordslinger - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 4:17 pm:
===I can’t believe Rod didn’t vet this guy!===
That’s a good one!
- sal-says - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 4:19 pm:
“The cemetery in Oak Woods insisted when I went out to plan my estate that my résumé be put on it. That wasn’t me…..”
OK. So our newest ’senator’ can’t say NO for something he’s (allegedly) PAYING for? And that represents HIM?
God love the taxpayers; it’s apparent he doesn’t !
- The Unlicensed Hand Surgeon - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 4:19 pm:
As with any endeavor that involves sending resumes, whatever became of the people whose resumes didn’t meet Oak Woods’ standards? Were they sent rejection letters? “We’re terribly sorry, Mr. Johnson, but we’ve found a candidate whose work experience and educational background better meets our burial standards.”
- Secret Square - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 4:36 pm:
It seems to me that further developments in this alleged IFDA/prepaid funeral Ponzi scheme need to be watched.
If what this lawsuit alleges is true (still a big if), we are talking about funeral homes and, ultimately, grieving families being left holding the bag in the future for thousands of dollars in expenses when they thought they had taken care of everything in advance. It may not be anywhere near as big as the Madoff scheme but it’s the same principle. If (and I emphasize, IF) Burris gets dragged into this it could really blow up in his face.
- Phineas J. Whoopee - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 4:56 pm:
Maybe I have become a little jaded, but is anybody else getting a feeling about playing dot to dot between giant cemetery tombstones and prepaid funerals? I really hope I’m wrong because our state can’t handle any more ridicule.
- this voter will remember - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 5:18 pm:
What happened to the story about Burris being a probate lawyer and he wanted to show his clients what to do? This does not say much for Burris if he can let someone ‘talk him into’ buying something this monumental that he didn’t want.
- this voter will remember - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 5:22 pm:
Phineas J. Whopper - to late. I’m sure we will have more ridicule after Tuesday night. Don’t forget to set your VCR’s or TiVo Rod Blagojevich on the David Letterman show.
- True Observer - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 5:26 pm:
Don’t lie.
Tell the truth.
When you’re at Lincoln’s Tomb, don’t you drive by the the larger tombstones to see who is buried there?
- hair today, gone tomorrow - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 5:35 pm:
So Burris has been in office for a couple weeks now and doesn’t even have staffers to meet with Illinois residents……he’s not taking approapriation requests at this time. You’d think he would have given this some fore thought and would have had a few people in place so he could hit the ground running. Either the DC staffers don’t want anything to do with this train wreck…..Reid had to lend a staffer, or Burris was too busy working the media to bother with the actual Senate work. Probably both. Illinois is being represented by one US Senator and I think that will be the case for the next 2 years.
- Amy - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 6:09 pm:
Tales from the Tomb of Roland Burris: the Chapter of the Zombie U.S. Senator
- Anonymous - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 7:54 pm:
I’m almost speechless.
Can’t figure out whether the cemetery thing just provided a whole new meaning to “Reaching for the stars” (now there a motivator!…one…two…three…NOT!) or whether he knows the straws he may be hanging onto are just getting more slippery as each day goes by so he wants his “peak” literally documented in stone before anything or anyone has a chance to change the outcome of the story.
From a PR perspective, best for Burris to just nip this one by laughing it off without further attempts to to try to explain or justify it. As da Mayor would say, this is “silly…silly..it’s just silly.”
Constituents, right about now, are probably wondering 1) just how long Burris is actually planning to be around and 2) if his health is generally quite good (which I hope it is), why then he’s dwelling on his tombstone so much.
- Marianne North - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 8:34 pm:
Do we really have to talk about Roland Burris? He’s so…insipid.
- Cranky Old Man - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 9:10 pm:
I’m sure he’s getting charged for the engraving. If he didn’t want it, “Just say no”.
Has he not heard of the internet? If anyone wants to know of his”accomplishments”, I’m sure they can find them.
- Cranky Old Man - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 9:12 pm:
Rich, I know I’m going back a long way, but wasn’t there some type of tax evasion issue with Harold Washington before he was elected mayor? Pretty sure I’ve killed off the brain cells where I had the relevant information.
- Been There - Monday, Feb 2, 09 @ 9:13 pm:
Well if the Burris seat was effing golden, the New Hampshire seat must be at least a bronze. Obama finally just announced that he was appointing Sen. Judd Gregg R-NH to Commerce Secretary. Look for Blagojevich to use in his criminal defense the horse trading that went on with this seat to keep it in Republican hands.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/02/02/judd.gregg.commerce/
- Angry Chicagoan - Tuesday, Feb 3, 09 @ 8:41 am:
Harry Reid has looked into Roland Burris’s eyes and seen himself, a fellow milquetoast middle-of-the-roader, and has suddenly decided to do everything he can to enable Burris to get elected to a full term because he knows he’d sure prefer Burris as a colleague to anyone else the Illinois Democrats are likely to nominate. You watch. Unless a scandal breaks before the end of the year, there could very well be DSCC intervention in this race on Burris’s behalf.