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Caption contest!
Monday, May 11, 2009 - Posted by Rich Miller * I don’t think we’ve ever had a caption contest featuring Senate President John Cullerton. So, let’s break that streak today…  As always, keep it clean and free of violent imagery, please. Thanks.
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- OneMan - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:06 pm:
And you are?
- BD - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:10 pm:
I’m an off-the-rack guy, but I suppose if I were your height…
- Pat Collins - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:13 pm:
My tie is way cooler than your tie.
- Third Generation Chicago Native - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:13 pm:
Quinn “I know you are still confused, how can I explain this anymore so you will understand?”
- A Citizen - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:16 pm:
Okay, for the last time - The Game is Three Card Monty and I will be the dealer.
- Downstate weed chewing hick - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:17 pm:
PQ: I do a 180 on my position, and then I do this little dance.
JC: That’s the worst plan to pass a budget, and the worst Robot dance, I have ever seen in Springfield.
- Thomas Westgard - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:17 pm:
“…and on the other hand… John! What’s that thing on your shoulder?”
- Rich Miller - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:20 pm:
Quinn: “So, I told Rod, I told him, ‘Don’t call me at 6 o’clock in the morning again pretending to be the FBI. Never.Again.’”
Cullerton: (To himself) “I can’t believe Madigan eats just one apple for lunch. My metabolism would crash by 2 o’clock if I did that.”
- Levois - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:21 pm:
Can you direct me to Emil Jones we’ve got some business to discuss?
- Anonymiss - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:21 pm:
PC: Come on, just say “Inconceivable” once while you’re in the chair? Because you totally look like that guy…
- Al Swearengen - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:22 pm:
“You see, Senator, not all of the Irishmen who run Illinois’ politics are short guys too.”
- Anonymiss - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:22 pm:
should be “PQ” in the above - my bad.
- Zoble - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:22 pm:
John, If you and Mike pass the campaign reform and give up all the money you have raised so far Roland Burris and I would have a chance to be elected!
- Statehouse intern - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:23 pm:
Q: So I say to Barack, “Hey, you know who you should pick for that Supreme Court opening?”…
- Rich Miller - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:31 pm:
Quinn: “And another thing, John, rain barrels have to be the top priority of the capital bill. It’s non-negotiable!”
Cullerton: (To himself) “I mean, seriously, Madigan doesn’t even put peanut butter on those apple slices. How does he get through the day?”
- unclesam - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:36 pm:
PQ: Seriously, you would kill using the old “girl thought I was Daley” gag. There’s no way I can get away with it.
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:38 pm:
“Your White Sox tickets are down here next to home plate, MINE are up here with the pigeons.”
- unclesam - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:39 pm:
Cullerton: (to himself) “He’s like that annoying pink bunny… he just doesn’t stop!”
- Cheswick - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:45 pm:
Quinn: And so there was this kitty…
Cullerton (thinking): Where’s that Friday night video to play us out when you need it?
- Out There - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:46 pm:
PQ: Look at Rich taking our picture. You should have seen his face when Madigan told him he only ate an apple for lunch!
JC: (to himself) why me?
- Al Swearengen - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:46 pm:
JC: “How am I going to get jokes out of this guy for my standup gig? I guess I’ll have to go back to the old Sara Feigenholtz jokes.”
- OneMan - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:47 pm:
Do you think anyone will notice the senate chamber is empty?
- BigRed - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:49 pm:
Gov. Quinn: “Hey, John! My speech is written on my palms and I don’t want to mess it up. Can you straighten my collar?”
- wordslinger - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:57 pm:
PQ: “So, on the one hand, my tax increase makes everybody mad. On the other hand, it doesn’t raise enough money….”
JC: (thinking, miles away) “I wonder if the SHAGUAR vanity plate is taken? Gotta call Jesse….”
- Rich Miller - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 1:58 pm:
Quin: “Sorry I can’t shake your hand, John. I just disinfected and am about to perform surgery.”
- Captain Flume - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 2:05 pm:
I got a handful of “Gimme” and a mouthful of “Much obliged.”
- April-Wha???? - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 2:07 pm:
“Come on, John…Sing with me. ‘Oh, the wheels on the bus go round and round….’”
- Vote Quimby! - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 2:08 pm:
PQ: If we form an alliance, Speaker Madigan can’t stop us! I tell ya, we can do this!
JC: Unlike you, I want to keep my new job.
- Lady at the Lake - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 2:09 pm:
PQ: “And if I get this job done, I might just register as a Lobbyist”
- casual observer - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 2:11 pm:
PQ: “I’m telling you, John, if we get all state employees a Motel 8 card we can save hundreds.”
- ahoy - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 2:21 pm:
You see Mike Madigan is up here and you’re down here.
- Stones - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 2:24 pm:
Pat, you really need to do something about that glare coming off your forehead.
- Beans - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 2:36 pm:
PQ: … And when I get to the back row, he has to “king” me, and then I can move backwards!
JC: (to himself). Pat still doesn’t get that the Speaker is playing 3D chess. I even wore my snazzy 3D chess tie, but he can’t take a hint! We are going to be here for-EV-er.
- Downstate weed chewing hick - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 2:40 pm:
PQ: Were you Al in Quantum Leap? I loved that show.
- VanillaMan - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 2:58 pm:
“You know Pat, you remind me of a play we did a while back at the Reperatory, “A Man of No Importance” - have you ever seen it?”
- Louis Howe - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 3:12 pm:
PQ: Let me get this straight…On the one hand you voted to impeached Blago so I could become Governor, but on the other hand you won’t support the budget I delivered….Is there a joker in this deck?
- April-Wha???? - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 3:18 pm:
JC: So, let me get this straight…the right hand is??
PQ: Bait, right.
JC: And the left hand is???
PQ: Switch. You got it.
JC: Hmmmmmmm. Which one am I?
- Irish - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 3:22 pm:
PQ; Blah Blah blah reform, blah blah blah ethics, blah blah
JC to hinself? He looks alot like that guy that is alway doing guest appearances on detective shows where he is the dirty cop or he is the bad cop near retirement. What is his name………..?
- prairiestatedem - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 3:27 pm:
PQ: “And then I told them all about the second verse of America the Beautiful”
JC: Thinking (Damn…I thought he was done the 4th time he referenced the Land of Lincoln)
- siriusly - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 3:28 pm:
Quinn: “A friend of mine, we’ll call him friend A, gave me a great idea. So you make the deal with the Speaker on the budget, and then I’ll do an amendatory veto and slash all the programs and spending for his members only and I’ll keep in the budget the spending for your members and the House Republicans. Then you can double cross him and refuse to call the over-rides for a voted. Okay?”
Cullerton: “Uhhhhh . . . . . noooooooo ? “
- Ghost - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 3:40 pm:
Quinn:”Madigan fell into my trap. Now he will take the heat for putting all those employees out of work”
Cullerton (to himself): mmmm peanut butter apples.
- johnbtes - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 3:55 pm:
Y’know, it’s all about give and take. At least that’s what Blagojevich always told me.
- QC Transplant - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 4:33 pm:
PQ: So this guy named Tony called me and wants to have a meeting. He wants to invite a couple of other guys named Levine and Ali Ata. He said these guys can really help me out. What do you think?
JC: (to himself) Here we go again!!
- Boscobud - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 4:55 pm:
See when you wax your car you must go like this. Wax on Wax off
- Anon - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 4:57 pm:
“So, Sean is not available to wear the rain barrel costume, would you do the honors, John?”
- Rich Miller - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 4:58 pm:
I figured Sean would’ve been mentioned hours ago. Nice job.
- babs - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 5:03 pm:
PQ: For Governors Day, if we both bring our families to stay at the mansion…we’ll have to get bunk beds to fit everyone.
JC: You mean I have to go the State Fair now too? Emil never said anything about that!
- OT - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 5:04 pm:
PQ: Allow me to demonstrate using the “Hands of Justice”. . . my right hand represents the Illinois Reform Commission. It’s the heavy hand. My left hand is you guys. . . and it feels a little bit light. Do you get what I’m saying now, John?
- Plutocrat03 - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 5:20 pm:
Sprinkle a bit of special interest seasoning in one hand, rub together and tadaaaaa…
One hand washes the other.
- Ignatius dad - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 5:24 pm:
Q: Fenwick is still the better BBall team.
C: Oh yeah…. well Rich Kehoe Rules!
- off the record - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 5:33 pm:
PQ: Chess is like checkers - right? I love checkers…want to play checkers, John?
- Anon14 - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 6:12 pm:
JC: Do you know ANYTHING about the budget process?
Quinn: No, but I did stay at a holiday inn express last night!
- ThreeSheets - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 6:47 pm:
Inconceivable? You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. - Inigo Montoya to Vizzini (mostly because Cullerton looks like Wallace Shawn in the photo).
- Anon - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 7:35 pm:
PQ” And I caught a fish this big”
- ahem - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 8:11 pm:
PQ: “John, would you consider my hand gestures to be violent imagery? I’ve always gestured to get my point across. Do you think I’m crossing the line? Violent imagery must be stamped out!”
JC: “I’m on board with this anti-violent imagery initiative. Violent imagery is a serious problem, leading to violent colors and other violent sensations. Surely we can start by toning it down with our ties. Besides, red ties are for Republicans, aren’t they? My tie not only has violent colors, but it has a violent pattern as well. I’m so ashamed. I shall call a news conference tomorrow to renounce this tie and roll out a program to curb violence in ties.”
PQ: “Very good. The people’s business will move forward!”
- anon - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 9:18 pm:
Gov. Quinn performs his impersonation of Sean Vinck to an unimpressed Pres. Cullerton.
- The CARDINAL - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 9:47 pm:
Senator John was soooo impressed with mr Pats budget juggling but he was sure it was just a magic trick (smoke and mirrors)
- Lulu - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 10:12 pm:
Now, John. You really ought to go to Men’s Warehouse and find a suit that fits. I know a guy there who could set you up.
- PalosParkBob - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 11:06 pm:
I’ll take the West half of Poland and you take the East, then I promise I’ll stay off your turf….(1939 reprise)
- Quizzical - Monday, May 11, 09 @ 11:50 pm:
PQ: “Burns, Bannister, Dotson, now that’s pitching. Baines, Luzinski, Kittle, man what a team! And the jersey’s! We really should have won it all in 1984. I remember a game in 1979….”
JC: Maybe I liked it better when the governor never came to Springfield.
- Das Man - Tuesday, May 12, 09 @ 5:55 am:
…its win-win, John. We’ll have a jobs program to build the riverboats, and a gaming program to pay for it, and then some….