121 Comments - Pat collins - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:24 am: What could Illinois do to regain its title as the most embarrassingly corrupt state No need to do anything. Normal operations will take care of this. - Levois - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:24 am: I think NJ should have it. Let them be laughingstocks for a while! - wordslinger - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:29 am: Install Blago as head of the Chicago 2016 Committee. - Captain Flume - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:30 am: I was not aware our state had relinquished that title. NJ is a mere pretender. - AK - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:32 am: Rod auction off his hair to save a balding man’s life. - Anon - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:35 am: The next gov could go to federal prison, too. then we could be 3 out 3. - Just Because - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:39 am: The state could start renting out guest bedrooms in the governor’s mansion comes complete with a candle light dinner and some of our state’s Representation - What If - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:45 am: Recently unsealed documents reveal Blago’s plan to sell New Salem Village to Chief Illiniwick for a new Indian Nation’s casino and resort! - Anon14 - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:47 am: STROGER Elected as Cook County Board President!!! “I am my own man”, says Hans Stroger, age 9, after winning a questionable election. - Anita - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:48 am: It’s obvious what would make us win: Pat Fitzgerald will be caught sleeping with Judy Baar Topinka. It will turn out that he targeted Ryan and Blagojevich as a way of helping her career. However, I will be on vacation August 17, so someone else can win the tickets. - Obamarama - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:48 am: The State of Illinois, in a hail mary attempt to balance its budget, creates an at-large seat in both legislative houses and “auctions” it off in a silent auction at the Illinois State Fair with the proceeds going to the GRF. - Steve - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:49 am: All Fitzgerald has to do is keep coming out with indictments. The year isn’t over. - Lambda - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:51 am: Governor Quinn needs to be embroiled in a scandal of Grand Theft Auto proportions, murdering prostitutes in order to close the states budget gap. - If It Walks Like a Duck - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:51 am: Wait until the judge unseals Blago’s court papers, then we’ll see who’s the most corrupt. My monies on Illinoi$ - Skeeter - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:53 am: Elect a Republican as Gov., and then send him to jail. Just so people know that it truly is part of the job of IL Gov. - Rich Miller - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:55 am: Skeeter, we already did that. - Collin Hitt - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:55 am: Illinois should elect a governor from Taylorville. - Just Because - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:56 am: the auction was a great idea! i could see them doing that. - Oneman - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:57 am: I am sweeping federal indictment one alderman in Chicago was charged with not taking money to chang zoning or deal with building permits. It just quicker to go after the honest guy at this point Fitzgerald said - Skeeter - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:57 am: Sure Rich, but people might suspect that somehow Ryan was just one corrupt individual. We need another to show that there is something in the air. - Michelle Flaherty - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 11:57 am: To come up with money, Gov. Quinn directs his new State Police director to start street-level dealing of the guns and drugs that have been seized. Control of the proceeds is split 33 percent Senate, 33 percent House, 33 percent Quinn and the remaining 1 percent to Obama’s 2012 re-election campaign fund. - Stones - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:00 pm: We could sell ad space on the capital dome. - Oneman - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:01 pm: In a bi-partisan shocker former governors Ryan and blago where charged today in an elaborate to take holloween candy from orphans and resell it during the 2016 olympics to buy smokes in jail - John in Chicago - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:03 pm: Fill the state coffers with funds raised from sales of body parts from Burr Oak. - Yellow Dog - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:04 pm: I’m with Pat Collins. Just keep doing what we’re doing. The Race to the Bottom is a marathon, not a sprint. - dave - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:05 pm: Rod Blagojevich, after his judge was bought off by Tony Rezko from prison, decides to run again for Governor. Pat Quinn volunteers to not run, and instead runs as Blago’s running mate for Lieutenant Governor. They run against Dan Proft, whose primary campaign was bought and paid for by the City of Cicero, which was forced to lay some city workers off to fund the campaign, and also forcing the rest of the remaining city workers to canvass for Proft. The Blago/Quinn win with 35% of the vote, as Proft takes 33% and Rich Whitney takes 32% of the vote as he received 100% of those voters who were not bought off in some capacity. The Blago admin returns to Chicago, with the Blago family moving into a home formerly owned by Tony Rezko, and uses a privately owned plan (owned by the horse raising industry) to commute daily to Springfield, and gets reimbursed from the State for his commuting expenses even though he doesn’t actually pay the horse racing industry for his trips. - bankman - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:07 pm: Will all the honest Illinois politicians, please stand up. I don’t see anyone standing, Aha, We are number # 1 again. - KGB - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:09 pm: Staying on the Jesse White theme: “SOS Jesse White indicted in scheme to sell the State Capitol building to a consortium of Middle East investors looking to turn the Capitol Dome into a luxury hotel.” - jake - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:09 pm: This is inpired by a recent attendance at a performance of “The Full Monty”: Rod could decide to raise money for legal fees by becoming a male stripper. - Carl Nyberg - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:09 pm: To fund the Olympics Chicago should sell prostitution licenses for 2016. Additionally, Illinois should seek the power to temporarily legalize recreational drugs to be sold to people who are not Illinois residents during the Olympic tourism season. - Third Generation Chicago Native - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:10 pm: Elect Todd Stroger Governor, because in a higher office he will be able to do more damage, and get noticed more, countrywide, instead of statewide. - CLJ - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:15 pm: Secret recorders of legislative leaders’ budget meeting reveal conference call conversation with convicted financial schemer Bernie Madoff from his North Carolina jail cell seeking his advice on how to implement a statewide ponzi scheme to help shore up the state’s budget. Governor Pat Quinn is heard asking Speaker Michael Madigan and Minority Senate Leader Christine Radogno how soon they could have the votes lined up to pass the sweeping fraudulent legislation. - CLJ - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:16 pm: sorry meant to say “recordings” - VanillaMan - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:17 pm: We can top NJ easily by exposing the Burr Oak situation as our version of trafficking of body parts. - Social Circus - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:21 pm: U.S. Atty. Patrick Fitzgerald holds an impromptu press conference to announce his resignation, declaring that he “could never top what they did in New Jersey.” Two hours later, Chicago Mayor Richard Daley leases City Hall to a private equity firm led by his yet-unborn great-grandson. - Six Degrees of Separation - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:22 pm: The General Assembly was tested for performance enhancing drugs and 56% were found to be using HGH. Unfortunately, as with former White Sox pitcher Jim Parque, the drugs didn’t even help. - Another Dart fan - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:22 pm: Facing increasing criticism, Cook County Board Presdient Todd Stroger announced today that he would not seek re-election as Board President. “I have decided to run for to fill the seat of retiring Senator Roland Burris. In the tradition of Barack Obama, this Senate seat “belongs” to the African American Community and I can sit in a seat as good as the next guy” said Stroger. He went on to note, “no one really pays attention to the what goens on in DC anyway so I thought I’d give it a shot.” In a stunnng alliance, Cardinal George announced his support for the Stroger candicacy. “I offered to open the vast coffers of the Catholic Church for his support of pro-life issues and Stroger agreed.” We can work with Democrats and Republicans as long as they are one issue orientated. - observation - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:24 pm: During the trial of former Gov. Rod, documents reveal that Public Official Q is none other than current Governor Quinn. Supporting documents proves that Quinn was deeply enboiled in the inner workings of Blago’s administration and even made several phone calls to Roland Burris to discuss the ‘price’ despite the public perception that he was banned to his little Lt. Gov. office. When asked about the new findings, Rod said, “Wasn’t that a good one? We just pretended that we never talked and that we didn’t like each other. All this time, Fitz was listening in on my phone calls when it was really Pat. It sure took them a long time to figure out I was not involved. I was kind of sweating it there for awhile.” Rod goes on to be a political and legal justice commentator on CNN. - Debt management plan - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:36 pm: Well I would love to appreciate your article as well as the concern which is really appreciated.Well I would love to appreciate your article as well as the concern which is really appreciated. Barbara - Bill - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:38 pm: It is quite simple, actually. Elect CapitolFax Bill governor of Illinois. - 312 - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:44 pm: Some prominent male gets caught in bed with a dead teenage boy. But I still don’t think Jersey tops us, even with selling organs! - John Bambenek - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:45 pm: Have cockfighting nights under the Rotunda. Winner gets to write the legislative maps after the census. - Speaking at Will - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:46 pm: Elect a Super Majority of Democrats to the Illinois House. Promote Ricky Hendon to Governor. - Vote Quimby! - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:49 pm: == The Question: What could Illinois do to regain its title as the most embarrassingly corrupt state?== Eliminate the middlemen of marketing firms, consultants and publications (including electronic) and just auction off all statewide (not federal) offices, senators and representatives. Highest bidder wins the seat, and all funds raised go to help fund state government. Residency restrictions waived. Repeal the Cutback Amendment and raise even more dough. - Oh well - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:52 pm: Rich, you are confusing greatest with latest. There will always be someone trying to grab some press for the latest fad. Pat was right. We don’t want nobody that nobody sent is our real moto. As long as we stay the course we will always be #1. - a moderates moderate - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:53 pm: == The Question: What could Illinois do to regain its title as the most embarrassingly corrupt state?== We re-elect Rod Blagojevich - Concerned Voter - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:57 pm: In a joint press conference in Washington D.C., both the White House and Major League Baseball deny any tampering in the White Sox win over the Cubs in the 2009 World Series. Bud Selig stated, “Yes, it was the highest rated World Series ever. Yes, for the first time we had the President of the United States at every World Series Game. Yes, it just so happened that every game went into extra innings. Things being done to guarantee the President would be there, please. Tampering, in a Chicago World Series, don’t be ridiculous” The White House spokesperson stated, “The only issues we had in dealing with Major League Baseball were the obvious security issues for the President to attend every game, and throw out the first pitch at every game, and be in the broadcast booth for 3 innings each game. It’s just a coincidence that 4 of the umpires were named in an IRS investigation into improper filing taxes regarding per diem money that was dropped after the last game. And just because the Supreme Court ruled at the last minute in favor of MLB in another attempt to strip their anti-trust exemption, come on. Yes the President is a White Sox fan, but to insinuate that the White House had any influence as to the outcome of our national pastime’s biggest event of the year, that’s just wrong!” - anon - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:04 pm: just give President Obama’s changes a chance to settle - Skeeter - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:06 pm: In an attempt to restore honesty and integrity to government, elect Cardinal George as Gov., only to him indicted for voter intimidation (something about threatening people’s very souls). - bored now - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:08 pm: reinstate blagojevich. - not on the clout list - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:09 pm: wait a week - Wondering - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:11 pm: Blago runs for and gets elected as U.S. Senator - SAP - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:11 pm: Place regulation of the funeral home and cemetery industries under a super-qualified department like the Comptroller’s Office. - Diamond Dog - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:13 pm: Form a bipartisan committee (selected by leadership and the governor) to auction off a license to build a casino around Lincoln’ tomb. Take out the coffin of the Great Emancipator and rename it the Rob Blagojevich High Rollers Suite. - Greg B. - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:21 pm: It’s hard to top black market organ sales. Probably cruelty to dogs is the only thing that could top it. So, I’m going to go with Governor Michael Vick. I think a leading state politician caught in a dog fighting ring/puppy mill has the potential to disgust the voter as much as NJ. - GovernorBrown'sghost - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:23 pm: Blago is aquiited at his trial when it is discovered that the tapes were created by organized crime to railroad Blago because he was not paying them off. USA Fitzgerald resigns, embarrased that he was inadvertly part of the plan, and Blago returns to run Illinois from Chicago. Patti becomes the US Senator and Alderman Mel reitres to the Caymans. - So. ILL - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:24 pm: I am really disappointed that anon that did the Jesse White…White Jesse didn’t win. That was killer! - Boone Logan Square - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:25 pm: Jim Rockford’s crack was a cheap shot. Jerry Bryant does not look nearly old enough to have been born the year the Cubs last won the World Series. Heck, he doesn’t look old enough to have been born the year the Cubs last *lost* the World Series. Poor, slandered Jerry. - Boone Logan Square - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:28 pm: He’s tanned, he’s rested, he’s ready: Gov. Vyrdolyak ‘12 — now more than ever! - ahoy - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:32 pm: Blago tried but he found out that Organs don’t vote or bring in near enough money. - Needs to be ANON - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:32 pm: In a surprise move AG Madigan decides she doe not want to run for any office and retires. Speaker Madigan still intent on putting a child in office puts his son up for AG. Sen. Dillard comments on how he looks forward to working with the new AG Madigan when he is Governor. - commentary - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:33 pm: We could always re-elect Roland! - Phineas J. Whoopee - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:34 pm: Tying a public official to the Burr Oak cemetary scam ought to put us back on top. I’m thinking a soon to be ex US Senator should do the trick. - A Citizen - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:36 pm: A new 501c “Acorn Gone To Seed” is founded with $2 Billion TARP seed money. They will be canvassing and registering all residents of cemeteries throughout Illinois. - Rich O - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:37 pm: Indictments of several officials for trading influence for magic beans. - Rebw - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:41 pm: Have an “independent” panel chaired by Blagojevich draw up the new video poker laws. He could also be in charge of properly distributing the video poker machines. After all, they’re f***ing valuable things, you don’t just give them away for nothing. - bored now - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:50 pm: put all state jobs on e-bay. may as well get the most money for ‘em, since they’re being sold anyway… - D-Town - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:51 pm: Dream Team ticket for Gov/Lt. Gov Ryan/Blagojevich 2010 - Dozer - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:52 pm: Have Cook County ticket the families of the Bur Oak cemetery with littering, then charge those families for the clean up, all the while having county board members sending them fundraising requests for the 2010 race for board President. - Another Dart fan - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:53 pm: not on the clout list - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:09 pm: wait a week we have a winner! - bugman - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:54 pm: put casinos in prisons - fedup dem - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 1:59 pm: What do you mean by “regain”? When federal agents in New jersey bag a couple of Governors there, then they can come back and make their cockamany argument… not before! - Pleading the fifth - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:03 pm: Alan Keyes has a surprise 2010 win in the Illinois Governor race. - BigDog - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:05 pm: Illinois GOP recruits Marion Berry to move to IL and pull double duty running as a Republican for Burris’ US Senate seat, while concurrently stalking Lisa Madigan to determine why she didn’t look to upgrade her position. - Ron Burgundy - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:05 pm: Trafficking in organs is small potatoes. In Illinois, we do it with the bodies still attached! - Narcoleptic - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:06 pm: SPRINGFIELD–At a joint press conference with Illinois Governor Pat Quinn, U.S. Senator Roland Burris today said he would be resigning his seat effective immediately to accept a position as Inspector General in the Quinn administration. In another surprise move, Quinn signaled that he would appoint Chris Kennedy to replace Burris. Later in the day, Quinn announced he would be filing an amended campaign report showing he had raised an additional $2.4 million, with a whopping $2 million coming from Merchandise Mart, LLC and another $400,000 coming from the Funeral Director’s Association. - Lou Grant - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:07 pm: I have to second this entry by not on the clout list- “Wait a week” is the hands down winner here. - Enemy of the State - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:08 pm: Turn all state and local government functions over to Mexican drug lords. They fix us then flip us. - Ghost - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:11 pm: Illinois decides to close its budget gap by placing all of its construction contracts and jobs on ebay to go to the highest bidder. - casual observer - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:15 pm: 1. Roland Burris steps down as U.S. Senator 2. Pat Quinn appoints himself to the senate seat 3. Jesse White refuses to certify the appointment 4. Lisa Madigan accedes to the governorship 5. Lisa appoints daddy to the US senate 6. Lisa appoints Roland Burris to AG 7. Quinn says he tried to change his mind but no one would believe him - Carl Nyberg - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:16 pm: The feds indict staff of the McArthur Foundation for rigging the selection of “Genius grants” going back 15 years in exchange for kickbacks. - moron - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:26 pm: “Snarkiest response wins a ticket to the August 17th Chicago White Sox game vs. the Kansas City Royals.” if i win do i have to sit by you? - Tex - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:27 pm: ***News Update*** Illinois regains title as most corrupt state when it is discovered that Speaker Madigan is an animatronic robot operated by a team of leprechauns bent on world domination. When asked to comment, Lisa Madigan stated, “You’ll never catch me lucky charms!”…Leading to more speculation as to why she chose not to run for Governor. - Been There - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:40 pm: Hey Sox Fans. Check this out m.espn.go.com/wireless/index?w=18lf9&y=18lf9&e=ATM I’m not saying but it is now through the 7th inning - Bluefish - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:45 pm: Move closer to the ocean so we have somewhere to dump the bodies. - Sick of IL - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:55 pm: Develop a new method of generating revenue by selling tactless bumper stickers. Examples include “Burr Oak Cemetery — Can you dig it?” and “Rod Blagojevich — Hair today, gone tomorrow” Though I don’t know if that qualifies us as the most embarrassingly corrupt state or just willing to do/sell anything for money. - jaundiced eye - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 3:00 pm: Just wait a week — Illinois will retain the title. According to coverage in the NY Times, these mopes were accepting $10K bribes (even guys in Streets & San know that’s chump change). My favorite is the mayor of Hoboken, Peter J. Cammarano III. He was offered $5K prior to his recent election and another $5K after he won. He told his soon-to-be briber that he would be elected with no problem: “Right now, the Italians, the Hispanics, the seniors are locked down. … Nothing can change that now. I could be, uh, indicted and I’m still going to win 85 to 95 percent of those populations.” Now, he’s a politician who has promise if he moves to Illinois — the right mindset and he knows enough to count votes. We’ll still be # 1, fear not. There is a good reason the Statue of Liberty has her back turned to NJ. - Six Degrees of Separation - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 3:08 pm: Kapler. Oof. - Ghost - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 3:09 pm: Quinn appoints Rod Blagjvich Lt Gov., then resigns as Gov. - Jake from Elwood - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 3:16 pm: The Governor attempts to sell Mark Buehrle’s perfect game to the Cleveland Indians. - Secret Square - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 3:26 pm: Blago turns out to be Client No. 10. - phocion - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 3:30 pm: Breaking News: Bud Selig announced today that he will ban for life each of the Tampa Bay Rays batters who faced Mark Buehrle today. According to documents provided to the media, House Speaker and White Sox fan Michael Madigan oferred the players University of Illinois scholarships for their children in exchange for throwing the game. - DM - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 3:44 pm: NBC announces its new show: “Smile, Illinois! You’re on Candid Camera”. The biggest, most expensive and elaborate set up ever to be televised starring Rod Blagojevich, a career politician and aspiring actor who will now forever be known for his infamous role as the worst governor in Illinois’ history. And it was all one big joke. Oh, Illinois, the collective look on your face. . . “I really had a blast,” says Blagojevich. “I felt a lot more comfortable in my role as the ‘extreme political adversary’ during my second ‘term’. . .you know, when I just started to pull out all the stops. I would just think ‘as a rational person, what would I do in this situation’ and then I would just do the opposite. It was great. . .really, bleepin’ golden!” Says Blagojevich about his next move into acting: “I don’t know, but me and ‘Schwartzy’ have been talking about how great it would be to do a Twins 2!” Two months later, Blago wins an Emmy, Madigan sues NBC for defrauding the state of Illinois and Quinn, whose conscience finally catches up with him, reveals he was aware of the gig all along, but kept it quiet after NBC paid him over $5 million in hush money. - GovernorBrown'sghost - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 3:50 pm: Phocion wins..this is the snarkiest one so far. - Not a Cub fan - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 3:53 pm: Rich gives one of the tickets to Lou Pinealla, hoping he will get some tips on the game. - Red Bird fan - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 3:56 pm: Katie Couric on the Nightly News reports: Acquitted former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, read the first two chapters of his new best seller, “If I did It, Here’s How”, on his syndicated radio talk show. - the Patriot - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 3:59 pm: Back off NJ. We sold a U.S. Senate Seat. The guy who bought it backed out of the deal and never paid up. The Governor is going to jail and the other Senator form IL got behind the guy who agreed to buy the seat, but never paid up. When the crooked politicians, back crooked politicians, while they are screwing other cooked politicians, then lets talk. - Anonymous - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 4:01 pm: Legalize video poker in all bars and liquor-serving restaurants, a measure pushed by Joseph Berrios who oversees lucrative property tax appeals handled by both Democratic leaders in the General Assembly. Oh, wait. That already happened. Just wait for the fallout. - Small Town Liberal - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 4:12 pm: I think we’re going to have to dig up Honest Abe and sell his spot to the highest bidder. - Inish - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 4:23 pm: We annex North Dakota - which is by capita the most corrupt stat in the union- - Volume - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 4:25 pm: Body parts is hard to top, many other states have done great on sex scandals, bribery is boring, so the route for Illinois to regain its glory is through quantity. Remember when one alderman a year got indicted? We need to get back to indict one or more public officials a week for the next few years. - Inish - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 4:27 pm: Citing Katrina as a “brilliant fundraising strategy” Todd Stroger hires the Tony Rezko’s development company to blow up the locks and flood the city…..but not before he has forced through catastrophic event flood insurance and invited Kenya West to host the telethon… - A Citizen - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 4:28 pm: Having installed Video Poker machines in all the elementary, middle and high schools Illinois’ Educational System is now fully funded. As an added benefit child obesity is virtually non existent due to the lunch money going into the machines. Math scores have also soared especially in the probability computations which have become the highest in the world. - Anita - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 4:28 pm: I’m thinking Debt management plan (Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:36 pm) should be the winner for posting such amazing non-sequitor automated spam. If it turns out that Pat Quinn has turned to Internet debt-relief scams in order to raise campaign funds, IL would beat both NJ and ND. - Springfieldish - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 4:32 pm: Rick Pearson does an expose for the Trib exposing John Fritchey’s undo influence in yesterday’s caption contest, then kills his own story after a night at Augie’s. - AccidentalDirector - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 4:57 pm: In a vast corruption expose, the ISP director is found to be Tony Rezko’s second cousin. - Let's buy Rich a drink - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 4:59 pm: Through Matrix like IT forensics, Capitol Fax’s real writer is the Speaker. - DEM61350 - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 5:30 pm: Sell everything north of Rt. 80 to Wisconsin/ Rt. 80 is now the Illinois Border. Special election because half of the General Assembly and State office holders are gone. Rich Miller elected Gov.! - curious - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 5:30 pm: I agree they will rise to the top all on their own……………….. - Federale - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 6:33 pm: It would seem that Tony Soprano has not stopped believing… - A Citizen - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 6:58 pm: Upon Obama’s return to Chicago for fund raisers, Quinn takes him hostage with ransom demands ranging all over the place to pull Illinois out of its deficit budget situation. - Quizzical - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 8:06 pm: Pat Quinn “hikes the Appalachian Trail” with attractive Turkmenistani woman and decides to save money by outsourcing all state bureaucratic functions to Turkmenistan temp agency. - Bookworm - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 9:16 pm: The fact that Quinn has been divorced for years, and therefore can’t dump his wife for another man (like McGreevy) or an Argentine “soulmate” (like Sanford), or be kicked out of the governor’s mansion by his wife (like the governor of Nevada) puts us at a disadvantage in the sex scandal department — but I think we could still sweep all other events in the Corruption Decathlon. - Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 9:18 pm: US Attorney-for-life Patrick Fitzgerald today announced sweeping criminal charges ranging from mail fraud to grave robbery against prominent Illinois elected officials and power brokers. Charged in the scheme include US Sen.Roland “Tombstone” Burris, State Comptroller Dan “Altar Boy” Hynes, William “The Pope” Cellini, Stuart “The Rabbi” Levine, and John “Dr.Evil” Filan. According to Fitzgerald, the schemers plotted to “redevelop” cemeteries into senior living facilities supported by State bond issues. The scheme unraveled when the massive Burr Oak Cemetery was chosen for “redevelopment.” Defendant Burris revealed his hidden ownership of the cemetery and demanded first a 25 percent share of the profit and later a US Senate appointment in exchange for his cooperation with the scheme. As Burris delayed the corrupt scheme, $7.8 million of the schemers’ assets allegedly vanished up Defendant Levine’s nose. Hynes is charged with impersonating a regulator. Filan is charged with mail fraud, wire fraud, bond fraud, fraud fraud, and 4,752 counts of being a jerk. Charges against Cellini were still pending, but are estimated at least $5 million in legal fees to Dan Webb. - Smitty Irving - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 9:56 pm: We re-enact the last 10 years of Jim Thompson as Governor - but instead of US Attorneys picked by Jim Thompson, they are picked by Peter Fitzgerald - and he produces Patrick Fitzgerald and two identical clones. - Been There - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 9:58 pm: My guess is that all those involved in New Jersey have some Chicago connection anyway so in effect we are still the most corrupt. They are just getting caught in another state. - A Christmas Tale - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 10:03 pm: Paul Powell, the ghost of Secretary of States’ past, visits Jim Edgar and Edgar has an ephiphany and all of a sudden remembers the conversation with MSI’s owner Glenn Mazula and the $10,000 donation. Edgar then confesses all to Patrick Fitzgerald, including past activities in the SOS’s office when he was secretary that led to Ryan’s demise. He then repays from his campaign funds, moneys to the families of those convicted in the MSI scandal. Then at least we can all stop hearing his advice on what to do with the budget!!! and fulfill Skeeter’s wish (tho retroactively). - Bookworm - Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 10:26 pm: My version of the Christmas Tale: The real reason Blago wouldn’t stay at the mansion is finally revealed — the first night he stayed there, the ghosts of Paul Powell (rattling a chain of shoeboxes), Orville Hodge, and Otto Kerner visited him… but instead of mending his ways as they warned him to do, he just ran screaming out the door and never came back! - Anonymous - Friday, Jul 24, 09 @ 1:27 am: Having to explain to the RNC and rest of the Country how the Democrats managed to get Obama elected back into the Senate while he was still the POTUS. - Steve Downstate - Friday, Jul 24, 09 @ 5:56 am: To regain our reputation as the most corrupt state: State employees who wish to receive full pay checks during NEXT year’s budget stalemate will be required to donate one organ per pay period. Said organs will then be auctioned on eBay. Profits from said auctions will go into campaign coffers of the leadership involved in the stalemate. - Rufus - Friday, Jul 24, 09 @ 8:42 am: One should not compare amateurs (New Jersey) with professionals (Illinois) in a discussion of State corruption. Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.