“How did I get started in politics … good question … when I was 28, after interning for Peter Fitzgerald and the Heritage Foundation, and after a revamping of my resume’, and my Daddy thought of other jobs for me at the lumber yard, … well, …then it was November, …and Daddy got me some signatures for something or another, and I was on the ballot … a busy 6 months … and here we are.”
Candidate seeks higher office than place on dad’s tax returns
- Small Town Liberal - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:07 pm:
*This is actually video, not a still image. Nominee Plummer was asked 30 minutes ago for one detail about how he would work to balance the budget and has been motionless ever since.
Based on my wisdom and experience, I recommend we do something really different than what we are doing now. I’ve seen a government unable to do things and I think it is best if it doesn’t do those things. I’ve witnessed taxpayers paying taxes and I fully understand how those taxes are real money that is really taxed. I’ve been on the staff of important US Senators, and have seen important things done by the Senator I was a staff member of.
Now that I’ve said that, I have only this to say. I believe government that works best is one that does it’s work the best way. I’ve see hard working people working hard for their families. And going to church on Sundays, too!
Thank you, and remember to vote for the voters whose votes almost never count - you!
“I will answer EVERY question … except those about my experience, my age, my Daddy’s internet company that was really mine, interships versuses actual experience, and when I became a Naval Officer …That’s all? … Ok, nite everyone”
Pat Quinn is a part of the problem that is a part of the big problems within our state. He just wants to raise your taxes, not lower them. I want to lower them. Not raise them. Down! Not up! Let you keep your money! Not give it up to Pat Quinn! Down with Pat Quinn! Not up with Pat Quinn! So you see why we need to vote for Bill Brady and me!
Sheila Simon is also a part of the problem. If she didn’t have her father, she would not be running. She is a person who has nothing except her father. Now I’m sure you’ve heard some of my critics say I wouldn’t be here without my father, but that isn’t true. My father didn’t show up to work for a US Senator as an aide - I did. My father didn’t go to my classes at school - I did. My father didn’t pay for my campaign - I borrowed it - from him. He is a great man. Hey Dad - take a bow! Get up! Not down! Get up! Not Down! Let’s them hear that all the way to Chicago!
“Welcome aboard the SS Brady. Shuffle board and swimming on the top deck. For the kids we have an arcade on level 2. And don’t forget our fabulous lounge show starting at 5:00pm.”
Pictured above: Republican Lt. Governor candidate Jason Plummer freezes up while giving his acceptance speech at the 2010 ‘Ripley’s Believe it or Not’ awards. Plummer was recognized for obvious reasons.
I once heard Pat Quinn talk about how he walked across the state, and I thought Damn Quinn you really did bankrupt the state. Not even enough money for gas.
The Lieutenant Governor position is perfect for me, since it doesn’t require any actual work. I’ll have plenty of time for homecoming, final exams and the big spring break trip to Cancun!
“I’m Mr. Heat Miser
I’m Mr. Sun.
I’m Mr. Heat Blister
I’m Mr. One Hundred and one
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch.
I’m too much!”
(for those who remember that old Christmas special)
My name is Russell Bitterman.
I’m from Wheaton High School.
Our product is a paper-towel
holder that sells for $8.95.
We made a profit of $468.55
last semester.
Now watch. And in a moment I am going to slowly and partly unfurl my left hand to show you all what I think of those who say I am too young to run for elected office.
This is Kent Dorfman … He’s a legacy from Harrisburg
- Fan of the Game - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:49 pm:
You have to stack 2×4s straight and tight. If you don’t they’ll warp all over the place. I should know. I’ve been stacking 2×4s since I was 12. Last year daddy let me move up to 2X10s.
Bill, I love you so, I always will
I look at you and see the passion eyes of May
Oh, but am I ever gonna see my wedding day
I was on your side Bill when you were losin’
I never scheme or lie Bill, there’s been no foolin’
But kisses and love won’t carry me till you marry me Bill
I love you so, I always will
And in your voice I hear a choir of carousels
Oh, but am I ever gonna hear my wedding bells
I was the one who came runnin’ when you were lonely
I haven’t lived one day not lovin’ you only
But kisses and love won’t carry me til you marry me Bill
I love you so, I always will
And though devotion rules my heart I take no bows
But Bill you’re never gonna take those wedding vows
Oh, come on Bill
Oh, come on Bill
Come on and marry me Bill
I got the wedding bell blues
Please marry me Bill
I got the wedding bell blues
Marry me Bill
“I’m a Republican, and so even though I don’t have my own informed opinion about health care reform, it says here I’m supposed to oppose it. So… yeah! Obamacare sucks! Wait, what? Kids can stay on their parents’ insurance until they’re 26? Nice! Is that, like, automatic, or do I have sign up?”
- Champaign - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:42 pm:
and this year’s prom queen is…. drum roll please….. Sheila Simon
- Tom B. - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:42 pm:
I am SOOO glad nobody’s been talking about me for the last few weeks.
- Really?? - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:45 pm:
My next number is dedicated to Scott Lee Cohen, “You’re Just Too Good to be True”.
- Rich Miller - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:46 pm:
Leave the gun, take the Pedialyte.
- Cubs2010 - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:47 pm:
I remember my first beer.
- Sharp Red Tie - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:48 pm:
Our state is currently in the toilet. As a Plummer, I know all about toilets.
- Rich Miller - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:49 pm:
I remember my first beer. It was yesterday.
- JonShibleyFan - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:51 pm:
“San Dimas High School Football RULES!”
- Hank - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:51 pm:
“When I was 21…it was a very good year”>>>>>>>>
- in absentia - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:52 pm:
Some people say I look like a young Roger Keats
- jonbtuba - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:58 pm:
Yeah, I’m surprised I got the nomination too.
- Trying 2 B Helpful - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:59 pm:
Go ahead, Rich. I dare ya. Ask me for my tax returns. I’m too young to file tax returns.
- fed up - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:59 pm:
Yes Pat Quinns old enough to be my father but Im too good looking to be his son.
- The End Is Near - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 12:59 pm:
“It was totally awesome to be your Acting Governor for these last nine hours, but I am happy to report that Governor Brady is now out of surgery.”
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:00 pm:
My DADDY paid for this microphone, Mr. Green!
- Way Way Down Here - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:01 pm:
Listen, this is a good one—my dad told me this one.
- MKA1985 - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:02 pm:
“Feeeeeeelings…”
- rdb - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:02 pm:
This picture makes me look older. In a good way.
- Pat Robertson - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:03 pm:
“Move on up! You don’t have to both sit in the back row.”
- 10th Indy - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:03 pm:
“I’m Robert Hoover, chapter president.”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:04 pm:
“How did I get started in politics … good question … when I was 28, after interning for Peter Fitzgerald and the Heritage Foundation, and after a revamping of my resume’, and my Daddy thought of other jobs for me at the lumber yard, … well, …then it was November, …and Daddy got me some signatures for something or another, and I was on the ballot … a busy 6 months … and here we are.”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:05 pm:
“If things go well with Lt. Governor … I think Captain Governor, or even Major Governor might be in my future …”
- illinoise - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:06 pm:
Candidate seeks higher office than place on dad’s tax returns
- Small Town Liberal - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:07 pm:
*This is actually video, not a still image. Nominee Plummer was asked 30 minutes ago for one detail about how he would work to balance the budget and has been motionless ever since.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:09 pm:
Based on my wisdom and experience, I recommend we do something really different than what we are doing now. I’ve seen a government unable to do things and I think it is best if it doesn’t do those things. I’ve witnessed taxpayers paying taxes and I fully understand how those taxes are real money that is really taxed. I’ve been on the staff of important US Senators, and have seen important things done by the Senator I was a staff member of.
Now that I’ve said that, I have only this to say. I believe government that works best is one that does it’s work the best way. I’ve see hard working people working hard for their families. And going to church on Sundays, too!
Thank you, and remember to vote for the voters whose votes almost never count - you!
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:09 pm:
“I will answer EVERY question … except those about my experience, my age, my Daddy’s internet company that was really mine, interships versuses actual experience, and when I became a Naval Officer …That’s all? … Ok, nite everyone”
- Reo Symes, M.D. - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:15 pm:
Thank you for coming to my Bar Mitzvah.
- Aldyth - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:15 pm:
I have a note from my dad that says I’m allowed to work.
- kyle cajones - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:16 pm:
does my tie match my face?
- fed up - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:21 pm:
and then I asked Quinn how his buddy Blago is doing and he was strangly quiet. Its almost like Quinn doesnt want to talk about their 6 years together.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:22 pm:
Pat Quinn is a part of the problem that is a part of the big problems within our state. He just wants to raise your taxes, not lower them. I want to lower them. Not raise them. Down! Not up! Let you keep your money! Not give it up to Pat Quinn! Down with Pat Quinn! Not up with Pat Quinn! So you see why we need to vote for Bill Brady and me!
Sheila Simon is also a part of the problem. If she didn’t have her father, she would not be running. She is a person who has nothing except her father. Now I’m sure you’ve heard some of my critics say I wouldn’t be here without my father, but that isn’t true. My father didn’t show up to work for a US Senator as an aide - I did. My father didn’t go to my classes at school - I did. My father didn’t pay for my campaign - I borrowed it - from him. He is a great man. Hey Dad - take a bow! Get up! Not down! Get up! Not Down! Let’s them hear that all the way to Chicago!
- The Shadow - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:23 pm:
“Welcome aboard the SS Brady. Shuffle board and swimming on the top deck. For the kids we have an arcade on level 2. And don’t forget our fabulous lounge show starting at 5:00pm.”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:23 pm:
Jerry Clarke told me to ask him about answers I don’t know, so let’s put that in the “Jerry Clarke” pile …
- Ghost - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:23 pm:
[singing] “Don’t cry for me argentina…”
- anon - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:23 pm:
Gosh, I don’t know Buffalo Bob, who’s birthday is it?
- heet101 - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:24 pm:
Pictured above: Republican Lt. Governor candidate Jason Plummer freezes up while giving his acceptance speech at the 2010 ‘Ripley’s Believe it or Not’ awards. Plummer was recognized for obvious reasons.
- Ghost - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:24 pm:
Welcome to prom…..
- fed up - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:24 pm:
I must admitt Im to young to remember Harold Washington hated Pat Quinn.
- View from the Cheap Seats - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:24 pm:
still figuring out an answer to Phil Ponce…
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:25 pm:
” … and then, with Daddy still claiming me as a ‘dependent’, I don’t have any tax returns to look at ….”
- in absentia - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:26 pm:
I’ll take what’s behind Curtain Number 1 !!!
- OneMan - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:28 pm:
A Pawnbroker and a Banker walk into a bar.
- Vole - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:28 pm:
And the winner of this year’s Lil Miss Sunshine Pageant is …
- fed up - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:29 pm:
I once heard Pat Quinn talk about how he walked across the state, and I thought Damn Quinn you really did bankrupt the state. Not even enough money for gas.
- zatoichi - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:32 pm:
MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark and all the sweet cream icing’s flowing down……
- ToddAF - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:32 pm:
The Lieutenant Governor position is perfect for me, since it doesn’t require any actual work. I’ll have plenty of time for homecoming, final exams and the big spring break trip to Cancun!
- Illinois Idol - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:32 pm:
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any (Shelia Simon)girl who isn’t me tonight.
- polisciguy - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:33 pm:
Did I ever tell ya the one about the Dillard/Murphy ticket that never happened?
- Clinton lookin' good - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:35 pm:
Sheila Simon, are you kidding me? What a lucky guy!
- Red Truck - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:37 pm:
I know, I know, I wish I was running for Governor, too…
- George - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:42 pm:
“And that’s why I promise longer lunch periods, better food in the cafeteria, and an end to detention once and for all!”
- Joe from Joliet - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:47 pm:
My receding hairline shows I’m not THAT young.
- Louis Howe - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:47 pm:
Jason as Ed McMahon’s Legacy to Illinois:
“Heeeere’s Brady….”
- Randolph - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:51 pm:
A young Conway Twitty singing “I can’t stop loving you
- Lakefront Liberal - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:52 pm:
“I’m Mr. Heat Miser
I’m Mr. Sun.
I’m Mr. Heat Blister
I’m Mr. One Hundred and one
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch.
I’m too much!”
(for those who remember that old Christmas special)
- Downstate weed chewing hick - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:55 pm:
My name is Russell Bitterman.
I’m from Wheaton High School.
Our product is a paper-towel
holder that sells for $8.95.
We made a profit of $468.55
last semester.
- MrJM - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:57 pm:
“Hey good lookin’! We’ll be back for you later!”
- Responsa - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:58 pm:
Now watch. And in a moment I am going to slowly and partly unfurl my left hand to show you all what I think of those who say I am too young to run for elected office.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 1:59 pm:
Win or Lose … Daddy says I get a Pony
- How Ironic - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:03 pm:
Why yes…I DID make this tie out of the stage drapes.
- A.J. Feeley's Clipboard - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:05 pm:
I am 100% committed to making Illinois a red state.
- hands - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:06 pm:
…and appearing at the Muni Opera as patriarch, Captain von Trapp…Christopher Plumm…. oh, dang, we booked the wrong Plummer.
- the Patriot - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:09 pm:
Jason Plummer, the only candidate still eligible to try out for American Idol.
- Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:10 pm:
I’m here all week! Don’t forget to tip your waitresses.
- les - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:16 pm:
you whish you were me!
- How Ironic - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:17 pm:
“I seem to have forgotten why I’m here. Is Phil Ponce here by chance?”
- Old Shepherd - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:18 pm:
One time, at band camp…
- dupage dan - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:25 pm:
(sound of crickets in the background) “hello…is this on?…thump, thump, thump….is this on?
- Chubby Cubbie - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:26 pm:
The remake of the “Wedding Singer” featuring Jason Plummer….
- kappa - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:31 pm:
“Uh…uh….uh…”
- the Other Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:41 pm:
Karaoke night at the Delta Kau house.
- Anon - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:47 pm:
“I tell ya I get no respect. No respect at all”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:48 pm:
This is Kent Dorfman … He’s a legacy from Harrisburg
- Fan of the Game - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:49 pm:
You have to stack 2×4s straight and tight. If you don’t they’ll warp all over the place. I should know. I’ve been stacking 2×4s since I was 12. Last year daddy let me move up to 2X10s.
- Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:55 pm:
Before today, I thought my New Jersey joke was going to be my biggest laugh….
- Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 2:58 pm:
I’m bored with politics. I’m practicing because next year I’m hoping daddy will buy me a spot on American idol for Christmas.
- Cafeteria Lady - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 3:05 pm:
And lastly, I promise to turn the water fountains into soda fountains!
- Bring Back Boone's - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 3:10 pm:
Is it time for my nap yet?
- Really?? - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 3:19 pm:
I am 16, going on 17.
- Anon - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 3:27 pm:
Doogie Howser, L.G.
- Steve Downstate - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 3:28 pm:
“You want to card me? Really?? Do I look like I should be carded??”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 3:31 pm:
Hey … is that snickering???
Now, before I was rudely interrupted I was saying … You know, I’d gladly match my leadership and my executive experience up to most anybody’s….
- Hisgirlfriday - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 3:34 pm:
[singing]
Bill, I love you so, I always will
I look at you and see the passion eyes of May
Oh, but am I ever gonna see my wedding day
I was on your side Bill when you were losin’
I never scheme or lie Bill, there’s been no foolin’
But kisses and love won’t carry me till you marry me Bill
I love you so, I always will
And in your voice I hear a choir of carousels
Oh, but am I ever gonna hear my wedding bells
I was the one who came runnin’ when you were lonely
I haven’t lived one day not lovin’ you only
But kisses and love won’t carry me til you marry me Bill
I love you so, I always will
And though devotion rules my heart I take no bows
But Bill you’re never gonna take those wedding vows
Oh, come on Bill
Oh, come on Bill
Come on and marry me Bill
I got the wedding bell blues
Please marry me Bill
I got the wedding bell blues
Marry me Bill
- Anon - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 4:04 pm:
No, seriously, she couldn’t even win mayor of Carbondale. With the last name of Simon! Even “I” beat that guy!
- zatoichi - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 4:21 pm:
Kodak Campaign Primer, Slide 14:
Coordinate skin tone with tie, background, and balanced lighting for a memorable presentation.
- Anonymiss - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 4:31 pm:
“I’m a Republican, and so even though I don’t have my own informed opinion about health care reform, it says here I’m supposed to oppose it. So… yeah! Obamacare sucks! Wait, what? Kids can stay on their parents’ insurance until they’re 26? Nice! Is that, like, automatic, or do I have sign up?”
- jaded voter - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 4:32 pm:
If I were a gifted speaker with grey hair & hard earned experience you wouldn’t have any issues with me, now would ya…….
- jaded voter - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 4:34 pm:
Someone told me being Lt Gov would have the babes flocking….. what gives?
- Peggy SO-IL - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 4:36 pm:
“Feelings…whoa, whoa, feelings…”
- Jake from Elwood - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 4:45 pm:
Lakefront Lib-
Gotta love the Heat Miser reference. Somewhat fitting too, but he doesn’t have the hair.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 4:49 pm:
‘OK … This side, ..”I L L …” …. and this side, “I N I” … and this side again, “I L L”, … and this side again, “I N I”…..’
- Amalia - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 5:21 pm:
devil with the black suit on.
- Vote Quimby! - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 5:38 pm:
“Every Illinois governor in my lifetime has been indicted, impeached or convicted!”
- Mongo - Thursday, Apr 29, 10 @ 5:50 pm:
aaand yooouuu, liigghhtt upp myyyyyyyyyyyy life…