Representative Mark Kirk and Senator Bill Brady celebrate after Kirk single handedly defeats the Taliban in Afghanistan using Brady’s latest invention, the Puppy Gun (patent pending).
K (thinking to himself): “Have.. to keep… holding my breath…….Brady’s sweaty pits smell so bad…….holding this tax cheat’s hand is the ultimate disgrace……wish I were in the war room right now playing with my toy soldiers…”
“I am going to just smile, smile, and smile. This is no better that getting your teeth scraped. Boy he needs a haircut or what? I wonder if the Navy lets him look like a hippy when he is on duty like that…He needs some sun too, geez those are pale arms. Next time I am bringing Baby Huey of Edwardsville to stare him down, Plummer HAS to do something …rolled up sleeves and a pulled-up tie? What, is he a Shop Teacher or something …I’m going to look at him, maybe that will stop him from holding my hand.”
“I am not going to look at him … nope, just going to raise my hands up and ‘yeah, we are great’ …. what a crock … ut oh, is that a sweat stain under his arm? I never show sweat like that … Who let him wear a blue shirt in this heat … (snicker) Jason Plummer? … Geez, at least I don’t have him to actually RUN with ME as a team… Did he just laugh and look at me … Me … he laughed at me? …When I am senator and he is back in the state senate, I am going to LAUGH … no, stop, straight face … Going to call him ‘Pit-Boy’ as my own little joke ….”
Theme to The Mark and Bill Show! - Sid Ramin/Bob Wells, enhanced by VanillaMan
Meet Kirk, who’s voted on everything,
From Cap N’ Trade to Flip-Flopping.
But Bill’s only seen the sight.
That one can see from the extreme right–
What a crazy coupling!
But they’re Republicans,
Republicans all the way.
One pair of matching bookends,
Different as night and day.
Where Kirk says he’s a big-time vet,
Man of the Year, and Roger Ramjet,
Our Billy loves his tax loophole,
A stray dog makes him lose control —
What a wild duet!
Still, they’re Republicans,
Republicans and you’ll find,
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even talk alike —
Voters feel maligned!
When Republicans are out of their mind!
“I know I was given a very tough task this year, and with the candidates we have, I had to do some serious soul-searching, and some serious strategizing to put us in a position where we have the best opportunities. This election is going to be tough. Every vote is going to matter, but I feel if we give the poeople of Illinois the choices of our candidates and our issues … or the alternative, we will come out on top.
Before I took this mic, I was asked, ‘Speaker Madigan, what are these secret weapons to ensure an Alexi and Quinn victory …
My Fellow Democrats, I give YOU, the secret weapons!”
Mark Kirk describing to Bill Brady how he single handedly convinced an entire squadron of Iraqi infantry to surrender without even entering the country.
Mark Kirk accepts applause at his “Teacher of the Year” award ceremony in a school built by Bill Brady.
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:43 pm:
(I still like the “rock star” photo better, Rich.)
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:45 pm:
(And for those who think Rich is “biased” AGAINST the Kirk Campaign, Rich was probably being kind by not publishing it–though it could have potentially won longest thread in CapFax history.)
Yes folks, thanks to Blago, Madigan and Emil Jones, here are your next Senator and Governor for the great state of Illinois. Amazing how the failures of Chicago’s Democrat leadership can swing an entire state against them.
Could you please try to post only 3-4 comments, half-thoughts and non-sequitors per thread? It is tedious to check for new comments only to discover that they are all yours. There was a thread last week with more than 30 comments, half of which were from you. You’ve got about a half dozen on this QOTD already. Ease up my friend. Think it all the way through, edit accordingly, and hit the “say it” button once (after checking to be sure you aren’t posting with your former nickname).
I did not know that Ted Koppel was stumping for Bill Brady? Who knew?
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:22 pm:
=There was a thread last week with more than 30 comments, half of which were from you.=
Excuse the additional comment, but I just wanted to say, 47th, that you can jump in on the conversation at anytime if you have something to say. You’ve been around long enough to know that.
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 6:22 pm:
Brady: “Whew! Maybe not totally ‘cool, calm, and collected’, but I survived two hours with Kirk in the room–though a big room at that–without much damage.”
Kirk: “Just wait til Brady and Giannoulias find out about all the surplus arrows I bought…on sale, of course…at the Army & Navy Goods Store in Roselle. While I’ve allocated several to enhancing current and future PowerPoint presentations, quite a few will be flying around various forums we’ll all be at shortly!”
Rich, I am sending you one of my unused Iwo Jima Commemororative postage stamp printed in 1945. Please give it to Reality Is for the excellent comment: KIRK:And this is how I raised the flag on Iwo Jima! Thanks and get a haircut!
Alexi: “I told you, Greek dancing is fun!” (off camera)
Brady: “Do I get to smash dishes after this?”
Kirk: “I suppose this means we are engaged or something.”
You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out;
You put your right foot in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey-Pokey,
And you turn yourself around.
That’s what it’s all about
- Moving to Oklahoma - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:01 pm:
A democrat on the left, a republican on the right.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:02 pm:
“I hate you”
“I hate YOU”
“Quit holding my hand”
“YOU are holding my hand”
“Go kill some pets or something …”
“I guess you didn’t ‘mis-remember’ that, eh Commander …”
“Five more seconds …”
“You stink …”
“You too ….”
“Ok, see you at our next stop…”
- unclesam - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:02 pm:
The Village People were right. Doing just the “Y” doesn’t feel right.
- colt 45 - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:02 pm:
winners
- unclesam - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:03 pm:
Colt 45: Should “by default” be added?
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:03 pm:
Bill Brady raises the hand of our next US Senator … Walter Mitty
- ShadyBillBrady - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:04 pm:
“Now throw your hands in the air. And wave ‘em like you just don’t care.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:05 pm:
“Ok, show of hands … raise you RIGHT hand if you let the press look at your tax returns … raise your LEFT if you paid income taxes …
- Aldyth - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:05 pm:
Maybe they’ll be so bedazzled by how rare this joint appearance is, they won’t ask us any questions.
- Montrose - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:05 pm:
Representative Mark Kirk and Senator Bill Brady celebrate after Kirk single handedly defeats the Taliban in Afghanistan using Brady’s latest invention, the Puppy Gun (patent pending).
- Bluefish - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:07 pm:
Which candidate paid his taxes and remembered to use anti-perspirant?
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:07 pm:
“…and this bird you can not change. Lord knows, I can’t change. Lord help me, I can’t change.”
- KGB - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:07 pm:
K (thinking to himself): “Have.. to keep… holding my breath…….Brady’s sweaty pits smell so bad…….holding this tax cheat’s hand is the ultimate disgrace……wish I were in the war room right now playing with my toy soldiers…”
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:12 pm:
Yes! This feels as stupid as it looks!
- jonbtuba - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:12 pm:
Kirk and Brady respond to audience questions like “raise your hand if you think your campaign has been the most screwed up”
- Small Town Liberal - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:15 pm:
Brady: I wish I’d never held an event with Mark Kirk
Kirk: I’ve never held an event with Bill Brady, ever.
- Irish - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:17 pm:
Put your right foot in, and shake it all about!
put your right hand in, and shake it all about!
.. no we don’t do the left side here.
- Irish - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:20 pm:
Brady and Kirk try to fit in at a Union Rally.
Brady - “I’m a builder.”
Kirk - “I’m a fabricator.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:23 pm:
“I am going to just smile, smile, and smile. This is no better that getting your teeth scraped. Boy he needs a haircut or what? I wonder if the Navy lets him look like a hippy when he is on duty like that…He needs some sun too, geez those are pale arms. Next time I am bringing Baby Huey of Edwardsville to stare him down, Plummer HAS to do something …rolled up sleeves and a pulled-up tie? What, is he a Shop Teacher or something …I’m going to look at him, maybe that will stop him from holding my hand.”
“I am not going to look at him … nope, just going to raise my hands up and ‘yeah, we are great’ …. what a crock … ut oh, is that a sweat stain under his arm? I never show sweat like that … Who let him wear a blue shirt in this heat … (snicker) Jason Plummer? … Geez, at least I don’t have him to actually RUN with ME as a team… Did he just laugh and look at me … Me … he laughed at me? …When I am senator and he is back in the state senate, I am going to LAUGH … no, stop, straight face … Going to call him ‘Pit-Boy’ as my own little joke ….”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:26 pm:
Raise BOTH hands if you believe millionaire elected officials should pay some income taxes. Raise just one hand if you don’t.
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:26 pm:
Theme to The Mark and Bill Show! - Sid Ramin/Bob Wells, enhanced by VanillaMan
Meet Kirk, who’s voted on everything,
From Cap N’ Trade to Flip-Flopping.
But Bill’s only seen the sight.
That one can see from the extreme right–
What a crazy coupling!
But they’re Republicans,
Republicans all the way.
One pair of matching bookends,
Different as night and day.
Where Kirk says he’s a big-time vet,
Man of the Year, and Roger Ramjet,
Our Billy loves his tax loophole,
A stray dog makes him lose control —
What a wild duet!
Still, they’re Republicans,
Republicans and you’ll find,
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even talk alike —
Voters feel maligned!
When Republicans are out of their mind!
- Doomed - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:31 pm:
Kirk pondering, “This guy actually thinks that we are going to win”.
- Wumpus - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:35 pm:
Raise your hand if you are SURE (that we and our opponents are tryign to lose this race)
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:36 pm:
Voice off stage:
“I know I was given a very tough task this year, and with the candidates we have, I had to do some serious soul-searching, and some serious strategizing to put us in a position where we have the best opportunities. This election is going to be tough. Every vote is going to matter, but I feel if we give the poeople of Illinois the choices of our candidates and our issues … or the alternative, we will come out on top.
Before I took this mic, I was asked, ‘Speaker Madigan, what are these secret weapons to ensure an Alexi and Quinn victory …
My Fellow Democrats, I give YOU, the secret weapons!”
- Berkeley Bear - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:38 pm:
Mark Kirk describing to Bill Brady how he single handedly convinced an entire squadron of Iraqi infantry to surrender without even entering the country.
- Vote Quimby! - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:43 pm:
Mark Kirk accepts applause at his “Teacher of the Year” award ceremony in a school built by Bill Brady.
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:43 pm:
(I still like the “rock star” photo better, Rich.)
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:45 pm:
(And for those who think Rich is “biased” AGAINST the Kirk Campaign, Rich was probably being kind by not publishing it–though it could have potentially won longest thread in CapFax history.)
- HiFi - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:45 pm:
Bill Brady is a good top of the ticket? I really need to stop lying…
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:47 pm:
Brady: Yeah, there he goes again.
Kirk: Wonder how much of what I said and did is going to come back to haunt me this time.
- Responsa - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:52 pm:
Wait till Alexi sees our fancy footwork on this Greek folk dance!
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 12:53 pm:
Berkeley Bear…that was bad! lol
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 1:01 pm:
Brady: “Hang in there, buddy. It’s almost over. Don’t fall over backwards just yet.”
Kirk: “If I go down and take Brady with me, it’ll be a great story to tell about how I single-handedly…sort of…won the battle of Good over Evil!”
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 1:09 pm:
Abel and Fable
- Loop Lady - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 1:20 pm:
No, it’s Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum from left to right…
- A.B. - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 1:20 pm:
Yes folks, thanks to Blago, Madigan and Emil Jones, here are your next Senator and Governor for the great state of Illinois. Amazing how the failures of Chicago’s Democrat leadership can swing an entire state against them.
- just sayin' - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 1:33 pm:
And the winner of the Most Pasty Arms Contest is Mark Kirk!
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 1:52 pm:
No, just. I believe that’s a photo from the “bad tie” contest.
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 1:53 pm:
Kirk: “And here’s me and Johnny Toews after I scored the Cup winning goal against Philly.”
“Don’t believe me? I’ll refer you to my military record.”
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 1:53 pm:
And Kirk obviously won by default because he seemed to be the only one wearing one at the time…for some odd reason.
- Ahoy - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:00 pm:
Yes We Can!… Maybe.
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:00 pm:
TRAFKAA,
Could you please try to post only 3-4 comments, half-thoughts and non-sequitors per thread? It is tedious to check for new comments only to discover that they are all yours. There was a thread last week with more than 30 comments, half of which were from you. You’ve got about a half dozen on this QOTD already. Ease up my friend. Think it all the way through, edit accordingly, and hit the “say it” button once (after checking to be sure you aren’t posting with your former nickname).
Thanks.
- Anonymous ZZZ - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:10 pm:
47th Ward…thank you!
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:18 pm:
Thanks for the advice, 47th. I’ll see what I “can” do.
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:19 pm:
Funny, though. Have done it before and never got any comments. Hmmm…. Just like changing my handle, I guess.
- Jake from Elwood - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:20 pm:
I did not know that Ted Koppel was stumping for Bill Brady? Who knew?
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:22 pm:
=There was a thread last week with more than 30 comments, half of which were from you.=
Excuse the additional comment, but I just wanted to say, 47th, that you can jump in on the conversation at anytime if you have something to say. You’ve been around long enough to know that.
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:25 pm:
That’s 11. And it isn’t really a conversation if you’re only talking to yourself.
- Verdicto - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:26 pm:
Mark Kirk holds the hand of Bill Brady after saving Brady from drowning
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:29 pm:
OK, boys, enough. Move along.
- Reality Is - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:30 pm:
Kirk: And this is how I raised the flag on Iowa Jima.
- obamalac - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:30 pm:
Serial liar and cereal eater!
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:31 pm:
Thank you, Rich.
- Matt Dietrich - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 2:39 pm:
I can roll up my sleeves this high because I’m not a mob banker!
- cheese - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 3:05 pm:
Kirk: Did you ever hear of “The Seattle Seven”?
Brady: Mmm.
Kirk: That was me… and six other guys.
- D.P. Gumby - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 3:08 pm:
“And then we’re going to Disney World!!!”
- too obvious - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 3:26 pm:
Lie free for 2 hours - let’s give Mark Kirk a big hand folks! Tomorrow we’ll see if he can beat that record.
- Levois - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 3:50 pm:
Well Brady seems very happy.
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 4:23 pm:
A little off topic, but articles re: analyses of Kirk’s military record are hitting the internet.
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 4:23 pm:
Sorry. Meant to post that on another thread.
- MrJM - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 4:47 pm:
“The secret, Bill, is to learn how to lie without sweating. The pit stains will always give you away.”
– MrJM
- sal-says - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 5:01 pm:
The IL solution: Hey, am I Frick or Frack?
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 6:22 pm:
Brady: “Whew! Maybe not totally ‘cool, calm, and collected’, but I survived two hours with Kirk in the room–though a big room at that–without much damage.”
Kirk: “Just wait til Brady and Giannoulias find out about all the surplus arrows I bought…on sale, of course…at the Army & Navy Goods Store in Roselle. While I’ve allocated several to enhancing current and future PowerPoint presentations, quite a few will be flying around various forums we’ll all be at shortly!”
- Scoot - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 6:33 pm:
Victory!
- JustaJoe - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 8:29 pm:
Irish missed it just a bit. It should be…
“Do the hokey-pokey AND TURN YOURSELF AROUND….”
- obamalac - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 10:05 pm:
Rich, I am sending you one of my unused Iwo Jima Commemororative postage stamp printed in 1945. Please give it to Reality Is for the excellent comment: KIRK:And this is how I raised the flag on Iwo Jima! Thanks and get a haircut!
- HatShopGirl - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 11:35 pm:
Alexi: “I told you, Greek dancing is fun!”
Brady: “Do I get to smash dishes after this?”
- HatShopGirl - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 11:36 pm:
- Honest Abe - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 11:36 pm:
How do you like my necktie? The color scheme was inspired by the pole in front of Floyd’s Barbershop in Mayberry on the old “Andy Griffith Show.”
- HatShopGirl - Tuesday, Jul 13, 10 @ 11:39 pm:
Alexi: “I told you, Greek dancing is fun!” (off camera)
Brady: “Do I get to smash dishes after this?”
Kirk: “I suppose this means we are engaged or something.”
- raising kane - Wednesday, Jul 14, 10 @ 9:40 am:
You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out;
You put your right foot in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey-Pokey,
And you turn yourself around.
That’s what it’s all about
- cover - Wednesday, Jul 14, 10 @ 9:58 am:
GOP candidates Kirk and Brady make their first of many joint appearances on their “Snatching Defeat from the Jaws of Victory” campaign tour.
- agree with myself - Wednesday, Jul 14, 10 @ 10:12 am:
Opa!