Mr. Plummer, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone at this parade is now dumber for having listened to it. I will not support you, and may God have mercy on your soul.
“My dad said it would be a waste of time but Mr. Brady really wanted me to march in the Bud Bilikin parade with him. He didn’t want to walk alone so he brought me with this time. If I do OK, I might get to go to the Mexican Independence Parade, which is cool because I’ve never been to Texas. Do you live around here? Can you introduce me to Mr. Bilikin? He sounds nice. I was a paper boy once, back in Edwardsville. I think Mr. Bilikin should have this parade there next year. Maybe I’ll wear my red shirt then, or maybe the white one if it’s hot.”
KR - “No Jason, I am not going to race you to the Ice Cream Truck …”
KR - “Jason, I was not in your class, nor did I see you at your 5 year reunion at the U of I … so, no, I did not do that ‘keg stand’ with you … obviously”
KR - “No Jason, we just call bills ‘bills’, not ‘billy-boys’, ‘kool rulz’, or ‘Daddy’s Ideas’ … they are just called ‘bills’ ”
JP - “If I win, and you win and stuff … are our lockers gonna be next to each other? Will we be in the same home room?”
JP - “Jerry Clarke said ‘You don’t talk to nobody and stuff’, and I said ‘Jerry, I am solid on the issues and things… and I need to meet some people I might be workin’ with so I am going’ … So, where do I meet Kwame Raoul?”
JP: “And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…”
Jason: “Kwame, I honestly had NO idea you were such a fan of Tolstoy! This is great. Just great! Which do you personally view as his signature masterpiece? Anna Karenina or War and Peace? And, do you agree with those who believe Tolstoy’s teachings later influenced Gandhi? Man, I could stand here and talk with you about this stuff all day.”
J.P. “Nice job on the redistricting, and the people of illinois appreciate your recent quote on how great a guy Michael Randle is. No wonder your Governor is trailing me and Bill by 15 points.”
K.R. “I only have three fingers on my right hand.”
JP - “Don’t mess with me, Senator … THE Power Rangers are here, right?… Not the fake Birthday Party ones I got last year for my party, but THE Power Rangers??? … Senator?”
“Sen. Raoul, for the last time, it’s pretty easy. When the band starts playing, just throw your hands in the air and wave ‘em like you just don’t care. Just follow my lead.”
JP So, Jerry and Bill were telling me that after the election I was leading a trade delegation to some place called Helmut Province to set up a new State of Illinois trade office. Jerry said he would fly me there but he doesn’t do that any more. Do you want to come on the delegation. So far everyone else has said No.
KR I’ll think about it. You know where that is right?
JP No,but how much do any of us know about running the State?
JP - “Yeah … ‘the trail’ … just been on …’the trail’ … with Uncle Bill and Uncle Jerry … Uncle Dan and Aunt Judy, they went on a tour and stuff saying ‘vote for us to only get one of us’ which I don’t understand … and then there are these other two guys that Uncle Jerry says not to really talk to, ’cause they aren’t REALLY my uncles and won’t be around after we have my party on Election Day, which will be SO COOL …”
JP - “Ok, one more time … you ARE a senator, but you don’t go to Washington DC … and you are a senator, but Illinois has a senate too … Gosh, that has to confuse you with all these “senates” out there …makes my head spin …”
KR: Yes, Jason. I do think you should try to re-enact that scene from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Go steal the mic and and lip sync Twist and Shout. Jerry Clark has no idea what he is talking. It is your best idea yet.
Jason Plummer: “Are you Tiki Barber, the former NFL running back who failed as a morning tv guy?”
Kwame Raoul: “No, I never cheated on my wife in shameful fashion like that clown. Hey Jason, do your tax returns show you making more money than Tiki?”
KR: I thought Madigan talked you off the ticket.
-or-
Raoul and Plummer gear up for their talent show entry: re-enacting the SNL skit by Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo performing “Ebony and Ivory”
KR - (thinking) Dude this guy looks like he’s 12. How did I not see him coming and duck outta here! He’s so white I’ll bet he burns like toast! Is he serious?!! Man, their gonna have to give him a Tom-tom to find his office!!!!! Or maybe better yet fit him with a Lo-jac so they can find him when he’s lost!
Plummer: “I heard you took Barack Obama’s seat. Was it a wooden kitchen chair or more of a molded plastic seat? Was he mad when you took it? Did he give you a Presidential pardon?”
JP - “(out of breath) …Senator … quick … Jerry Clarke just asked me to find the Snipe he saw running around… I guess its a bird he said … gotta find it … Jerry said he saw the Snipe right by you, then it went by Rev. Meeks … If I find it, I get to keep all the candy I can eat, so … GOTTA find it!”
JP - “How did I get here? … Well, at the campaign office, they were having a roundtable discussion … and then they got to me, and it was pretty interesting stuff, and I asked, ‘This is cool, but when are we going to discuss this roundtable thing. We just have this rectangle table and I think it works great, so why do we have to have a roundtable discussion. Sounds like a silly topic compared to all this other stuff you guys were talking about’. Next think I know I am in a car and here I am…”
JP - “One issue I want to work on? Easy. CMS Jobs. I mean, It shouldn’t be about ‘who you know’ or how you are ‘connected’. The state of Illinois should ensure every person applying for a job has a fair shake. I mean, doesn’t it just fry your eggs when you hear about someone getting a state job or appointment, and they are not qualified, and have no experience … or ‘intern experience’, yeah right….and there they are … in charge. That is so annoying …”
Uh - hey!
Can you tell me where you parked my car? I gotta get home to take out the garbage or I would not be getting my weekly $50000 allowance from Mom.
JP: So then I was like, look Phil, that question was you know, it was ummmmmmmmm (period of silence)…ahhhhhhh… it was kind of tough. You know? Do you always go for those kind of “getcha” questions right off the bat here in the City because you know like for those of us who are ahhhhh ummmmm (period of silence)sort of trying to bring a fresh perspective and you know a business background to Illinois politics it was ahhhh ummm (silence) you know….ummm (silence)…
anyway, and then he said something to me but I don’t remember what it was.
KR: Yeah. OK, well it’s been good talking to champ.
This just in Dean Vallas is backing NoTaxBill and Daddy’s Little Deduction….if he can do for them what he did not PV and others PQ strolls to the win.
Go Dean
Jason Plumber explains how he ended up on the ticket with Brady — “well, he owed my dad for a shipment of lumber…long-story-short, he couldn’t pay…so we took this in trade. I was hoping my dad would go for the Porsche…but he said that this will build character.”
JP “You know Kwame if you pop that collar you will look at least a half inch taller” and then Kwame ” Dude I know where to score some good “medical weed” if you really want to enjoy the bands”
Campaigning is easy. I was top seller every year in my band selling chocolate bars.
And you know what sold the best? Caramel. Sometimes the rice crunchies. If went to a house with a black family I would always treat them the same and pretend they had enough money to buy my band candy too. It didn’t matter to me.
Did you ever sell band candy?
What instrument did you play? I played the cymbals. Sometimes I played the triangle. Which instrument do you think is better?
JP - “You like me, you want to smile and say, ‘I like you’ … Just say it, it won’t hurt. I can totally see you trying to hold back that smile … It’s just like summer camp … one minute I am getting ’swirlies’ and the next minute we are all laughing about the ’swirlie’…C’mon… just give me a smile … we can be buds … I win this election thingy, and we could have lunch together… we could give each other nicknames … Why won’t you just smile… Dad says ‘If you have one friend … that’s one more friend then the none you have Jason, so don’t smother the poor guy!’ … Probably should have kept that one to myself … Can you just smile so the guy that was sent to babysit me will tell Jerry I made a friend … please?”
‘I must admit I didn’t think much of Andy first time I laid eyes on him; looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over. That was my first impression of the man.’
Kwame: How about you and your boys against me…and the Revolution.
(It’s from Chapelle’s Show)
- Not My First Time at the Rodeo - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 7:56 pm:
Plumier: Man, those Sousaphones really bring back the memories! This one time, at band camp, Judy Barr Topeka and I were alone in the rec room, practicing our big clarinet duet, and. . . .well, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
Raoul: Or maybe you could just politely look the other way while I chew off my own foot to escape this conversation.
No, I am not the next Barack Obama. I just happen to be the Senator from his old Senate District.
Yes, I know the nice tall white guy from Champaign who is a State Senator told you that, but he does that to clueless people so they’ll come up and torment me.
- dumb ol' country boy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 9:27 pm:
KR: No you cannot not call me, no we cannot be allies, and no we cannot be friends..your going to get me in trouble…. and stop starng at my water you are not getting a drink.
JP: Awhh geee Kadiwompus, How do you say your name again? I had hoped we could combine forces and do so much for everyone. Pa and Aunt B always said make friends not enemies.
“Mr. President, I gotta tell you, it’s a real honor to meet you. I’m a little surprised that you’re this far back in the parade…and I do wonder where the secret service is…but if it’s ok with you, I’d like you to sign my autograph book at the end of the route. I just need to grab it out of the backseat of Bill’s porsche. I’m hoping to make it to the ‘front row’ one day, if you know what I mean, but we’ll see. Btw, I don’t know why your Dem friends keep picking on Bill and his car. I mean, honestly, I’m the one with a fully loaded ‘89 plymouth reliant with power windows and bench seats…and soon I’m going to be able to drive it on my own. And seriously, have you seen his condo in Florida? I mean, it’s totally awesome and I love Daytona, but when the spring breakers leave, there’s like nothing to do there. Although, why do you think Bill wanted me to stay down there for awhile? Hmmm. Alright, I know you’re busy…and I should shake some hands now…right? Right. Good talk.
KR: “So would you recommend the Plasma or the LCD?”
JP: “I don’t work for Best Buy…don’t let the blue shirt fool you. Besides, if I need some spending money daddy gives me some.”
- Leroy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:42 pm:
“Oh you have something to say about redistricting do you?”
- Thoughts... - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:44 pm:
Thought bubble over Kwame’s brain:
“Look dude, you may be taller, but no way you’re taking me on the court.”
- Knome Sane - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:45 pm:
Even though you are as tall as Herman Munster, Jason, white men STILL can’t jump.
- anon - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:45 pm:
Uh, dude, I don’t know you well enough to give you a sip of my water….
- Arthur Andersen - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:47 pm:
one for the Animal House fans…….
JP to KR: “And where to you go to college?”
- Deep South - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:47 pm:
No you can’t have a drink of my water and no you can’t wear my hat, your head is tooooo big!
- Peggy SO-IL - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:48 pm:
JP: “Can you spare some water, dude?”
KP: “I dunno, man.”
- Responsa - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:49 pm:
Kwame: “OUR LG candidate plays the banjo. Have you got any special musical talents, Jason?”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:50 pm:
KR - “You did NOT just ask when do we go out for recess, AND where is the playground … did you?”
- Joe from Joliet - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:51 pm:
Senator, I will be happy to work with you on a variety of issues when I am sworn in as Lt. Gov. in January.
- Montrose - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:51 pm:
To paraphrase Billy Madison:
Mr. Plummer, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone at this parade is now dumber for having listened to it. I will not support you, and may God have mercy on your soul.
- Tom B. - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:52 pm:
“You do know that Brady won’t put you back on the ticket if you win, right?”
- Stones - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:54 pm:
You’re going to have to go through me to get to those tubas!
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:56 pm:
“My dad said it would be a waste of time but Mr. Brady really wanted me to march in the Bud Bilikin parade with him. He didn’t want to walk alone so he brought me with this time. If I do OK, I might get to go to the Mexican Independence Parade, which is cool because I’ve never been to Texas. Do you live around here? Can you introduce me to Mr. Bilikin? He sounds nice. I was a paper boy once, back in Edwardsville. I think Mr. Bilikin should have this parade there next year. Maybe I’ll wear my red shirt then, or maybe the white one if it’s hot.”
- Vole - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:56 pm:
Kwame: “You and Brady are the WHAT?”
Plummer: “Listen more closely. I said we are the AXE men!”
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:57 pm:
JP: KKKKwwwwaaameee, I’m [five minute pause] so hhhapppy tttto meeeet you.
KR: And I thought that WTTW appearance was a fluke. Wow. I hope Billy remembers to jog every day.
- Don't Worry, Be Happy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 12:59 pm:
Wah wah WAH WAH. Wah wah wah, wah WAH!
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:01 pm:
KR - “No Jason, I am not going to race you to the Ice Cream Truck …”
KR - “Jason, I was not in your class, nor did I see you at your 5 year reunion at the U of I … so, no, I did not do that ‘keg stand’ with you … obviously”
KR - “No Jason, we just call bills ‘bills’, not ‘billy-boys’, ‘kool rulz’, or ‘Daddy’s Ideas’ … they are just called ‘bills’ ”
JP - “If I win, and you win and stuff … are our lockers gonna be next to each other? Will we be in the same home room?”
JP - “Jerry Clarke said ‘You don’t talk to nobody and stuff’, and I said ‘Jerry, I am solid on the issues and things… and I need to meet some people I might be workin’ with so I am going’ … So, where do I meet Kwame Raoul?”
- Northsider - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:01 pm:
JP: “And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…”
- TroubleMaker - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:07 pm:
“Thanks, but I don’t need any tickets to the Speaker’s fundraiser.”
- in the know - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:09 pm:
“So, you ever think about playing any ball in the morning before session? I might know of a pickup game…..”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:11 pm:
JP - “Sen. Raoul, You know, I’d gladly match my leadership and my executive experience up to most anybody’s.”
JP - “Ya know who is real mean … Phil Ponce!”
- Responsa - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:11 pm:
Jason: “Kwame, I honestly had NO idea you were such a fan of Tolstoy! This is great. Just great! Which do you personally view as his signature masterpiece? Anna Karenina or War and Peace? And, do you agree with those who believe Tolstoy’s teachings later influenced Gandhi? Man, I could stand here and talk with you about this stuff all day.”
- A Naughty Moose - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:14 pm:
Did you just call me Coltrane?
- Ahoy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:15 pm:
Are you old enough to drink?
- A Naughty Moose - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:19 pm:
The clip to which I make reference (Gene Hackman and Danny Glover from The Royal Tenenbaums): http://emedia.entertonement.com/audio/000/063/006/63006.mp3
- Moving to Oklahoma - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:20 pm:
J.P. “Nice job on the redistricting, and the people of illinois appreciate your recent quote on how great a guy Michael Randle is. No wonder your Governor is trailing me and Bill by 15 points.”
K.R. “I only have three fingers on my right hand.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:20 pm:
JP - “Don’t mess with me, Senator … THE Power Rangers are here, right?… Not the fake Birthday Party ones I got last year for my party, but THE Power Rangers??? … Senator?”
- OneMan - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:27 pm:
JP: So when do we get to meet Bud?
- Rep - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:33 pm:
I’m sorry to bother you Senator, I said I was looking for my Mommy but I guess they thought I said Kwame, so they sent me over here.
- Corduroy Bob - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:37 pm:
“That must be a terrible lumber company.”
- Rep. John Fritchey - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:39 pm:
“Sen. Raoul, for the last time, it’s pretty easy. When the band starts playing, just throw your hands in the air and wave ‘em like you just don’t care. Just follow my lead.”
- Rep. John Fritchey - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:41 pm:
“Look Plummer, I don’t care if Brady does win. If you rub my head even one more time, Illinois will continue to have a vacancy in the Lt. Gov. office”
- bored now - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:42 pm:
so, jason, how did you enjoy the bud billiken day parade? no, no, i don’t really care. so how much did you pay those kids to walk with you???
- frustrated GOP - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:44 pm:
JP So, Jerry and Bill were telling me that after the election I was leading a trade delegation to some place called Helmut Province to set up a new State of Illinois trade office. Jerry said he would fly me there but he doesn’t do that any more. Do you want to come on the delegation. So far everyone else has said No.
KR I’ll think about it. You know where that is right?
JP No,but how much do any of us know about running the State?
- just sayin' - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:45 pm:
Look, my tax returns are in crayon, alright now you know.
or:
No, I’m not Hootie.
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:46 pm:
No, “Eating Raoul” was not about me. And, no, I’m not related to Kwame Kilpatrick.
- Tumblers - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:49 pm:
Plummer…”Yeah your bands cool Senator, but where are those Jesse White tumblers? We don’t get that acrobat action in the Metro East.”
- Anon - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:50 pm:
“No.”
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:51 pm:
[By the way, I just talked to Sen. Raoul, and the actual conversation was far less funny than this thread. Too bad. But keep ‘em coming!]
- Diff'rent Strokes - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 1:57 pm:
“What’choo talkin’ ’bout, Senator?”!
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:00 pm:
JP - “Yeah … ‘the trail’ … just been on …’the trail’ … with Uncle Bill and Uncle Jerry … Uncle Dan and Aunt Judy, they went on a tour and stuff saying ‘vote for us to only get one of us’ which I don’t understand … and then there are these other two guys that Uncle Jerry says not to really talk to, ’cause they aren’t REALLY my uncles and won’t be around after we have my party on Election Day, which will be SO COOL …”
- Rahm's Parking Meter - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:01 pm:
KR: Hey Jason, how many times do I have to tell you, no Cardinals gear in the city?
JP: I’m sorry, I thought it was cool on the South Side.
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:02 pm:
Oswego Willy, you know, of course, that this post is your consolation prize for not winning the caption contest last week. lol
- Cincinnatus - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:02 pm:
Dumb and Dumber
- anon - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:02 pm:
KR: You know JPlum, I sponsored an amendment to get rid of your little office, I may do it again next year, what is your view on that?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:03 pm:
JP - “Ok, one more time … you ARE a senator, but you don’t go to Washington DC … and you are a senator, but Illinois has a senate too … Gosh, that has to confuse you with all these “senates” out there …makes my head spin …”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:05 pm:
Apprecate that Rich … Having a bad week, lost a close friend on FRI, buried him yesterday … was a nice release to laugh. Thanks.
- Montrose - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:07 pm:
KR: Yes, Jason. I do think you should try to re-enact that scene from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Go steal the mic and and lip sync Twist and Shout. Jerry Clark has no idea what he is talking. It is your best idea yet.
- Ravenswood Right Winger - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:08 pm:
Jason Plummer: “Are you Tiki Barber, the former NFL running back who failed as a morning tv guy?”
Kwame Raoul: “No, I never cheated on my wife in shameful fashion like that clown. Hey Jason, do your tax returns show you making more money than Tiki?”
- Phat - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:10 pm:
Plummer - “No I did not call your constituents fat. I said, this parade is PHAT”
- Cincinnatus - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:13 pm:
Actually, now that I think about it:
Dumb and Plummer
- Dave Dahl - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:17 pm:
J: Do YOU have streets named after your first AND last names? Huh? Huh? Huh?
- "Old Timer Dem" - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:19 pm:
What nationality is Kwame?
- Amalia - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:22 pm:
oh, man, who let this dangerous dude into the neighborhood?
I’m happy those sousaphones literally got my back.
- Vote Quimby! - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:24 pm:
KR: I thought Madigan talked you off the ticket.
-or-
Raoul and Plummer gear up for their talent show entry: re-enacting the SNL skit by Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo performing “Ebony and Ivory”
- Irish - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:26 pm:
JP - “Yak,yak,yak, blah, blah, blah, blah…………..”
KR - (thinking) Dude this guy looks like he’s 12. How did I not see him coming and duck outta here! He’s so white I’ll bet he burns like toast! Is he serious?!! Man, their gonna have to give him a Tom-tom to find his office!!!!! Or maybe better yet fit him with a Lo-jac so they can find him when he’s lost!
- Jake from Elwood - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:29 pm:
Plummer: “I heard you took Barack Obama’s seat. Was it a wooden kitchen chair or more of a molded plastic seat? Was he mad when you took it? Did he give you a Presidential pardon?”
- wordslinger - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:31 pm:
K: “Really? You paid nothing in taxes and your parents still claim you as a deduction?”
J: “Don’t tell anyone.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:31 pm:
JP - “(out of breath) …Senator … quick … Jerry Clarke just asked me to find the Snipe he saw running around… I guess its a bird he said … gotta find it … Jerry said he saw the Snipe right by you, then it went by Rev. Meeks … If I find it, I get to keep all the candy I can eat, so … GOTTA find it!”
- bored now - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:39 pm:
the jesse white tumblers were there, but much further back then either one of these guys. i kinda doubt plummer stuck around long enough to see them…
- Irish - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:39 pm:
JP = Hey Brutha, Whaaatzuup!! I am down with this Bud Dude!!! This is Baaaaaad!
KR - (thinking) Are you *&^%ing me?!!!!!
- Njardar - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:40 pm:
It’s clear they don’t see eye to eye on the issues.
- Cuban Pilot - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:42 pm:
JP: Kwame, I brought my best fake id with me this weekend….so, can you please, please take me to da club.
KR: As long as you brought daddy’s credit card so we can by some dom.
JP: Well, I’m sure daddy can find a way to write that off.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 2:45 pm:
JP - “How did I get here? … Well, at the campaign office, they were having a roundtable discussion … and then they got to me, and it was pretty interesting stuff, and I asked, ‘This is cool, but when are we going to discuss this roundtable thing. We just have this rectangle table and I think it works great, so why do we have to have a roundtable discussion. Sounds like a silly topic compared to all this other stuff you guys were talking about’. Next think I know I am in a car and here I am…”
- D.P. Gumby - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 3:07 pm:
“So, Mr. White, are you still working w/ your tumblers?”
- just sayin' - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 3:08 pm:
Can’t you get your own water at the top of the beanstalk?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 3:18 pm:
JP - “One issue I want to work on? Easy. CMS Jobs. I mean, It shouldn’t be about ‘who you know’ or how you are ‘connected’. The state of Illinois should ensure every person applying for a job has a fair shake. I mean, doesn’t it just fry your eggs when you hear about someone getting a state job or appointment, and they are not qualified, and have no experience … or ‘intern experience’, yeah right….and there they are … in charge. That is so annoying …”
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 3:24 pm:
Uh - hey!
Can you tell me where you parked my car? I gotta get home to take out the garbage or I would not be getting my weekly $50000 allowance from Mom.
- @all - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 3:37 pm:
JP: So then I was like, look Phil, that question was you know, it was ummmmmmmmm (period of silence)…ahhhhhhh… it was kind of tough. You know? Do you always go for those kind of “getcha” questions right off the bat here in the City because you know like for those of us who are ahhhhh ummmmm (period of silence)sort of trying to bring a fresh perspective and you know a business background to Illinois politics it was ahhhh ummm (silence) you know….ummm (silence)…
anyway, and then he said something to me but I don’t remember what it was.
KR: Yeah. OK, well it’s been good talking to champ.
- CM - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 3:38 pm:
Tommorrow’s Caption Contest-http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/chi-pod-pix,0,6615505.photogallery
- CircularFiringSquad - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 3:40 pm:
This just in Dean Vallas is backing NoTaxBill and Daddy’s Little Deduction….if he can do for them what he did not PV and others PQ strolls to the win.
Go Dean
- fed up - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 3:43 pm:
Wow you sure are a little guy there, I can look right over you.
- fed up - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 3:44 pm:
Do Madigan and Cullerton know your out playing in the street Kwame?
- Apple - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 3:47 pm:
JP - “I know you are, but what am I?!”
- dupage dan - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 3:58 pm:
Oh, look, a hobbit!
- fed up - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 4:06 pm:
“I dont know what to say jason, let me call Cullerton and then I’ll tell you what I think”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 4:10 pm:
I swear to you I’m taller than shiela Simon but yeah she is one mean lookin girl.
- Highland, IL - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 4:14 pm:
Look my Dad designed my shirt! It looks just like all the big guy’s shirt at my lumber yard!
- bored - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 4:14 pm:
Jason Plumber explains how he ended up on the ticket with Brady — “well, he owed my dad for a shipment of lumber…long-story-short, he couldn’t pay…so we took this in trade. I was hoping my dad would go for the Porsche…but he said that this will build character.”
- Boone Logan Square - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 4:35 pm:
“Wait, WHICH ONE of us is running for statewide office? Are you serious? Oh, yeah, this is Illinois, who’s serious?”
- Give Me A Break - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 4:38 pm:
I don’t care who you are, Frerichs would kill you in the low post.
- Vote Quimby! - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 4:39 pm:
Are you sure you’ll do a better job than our current lt. governor?
- Bring Back Boone's - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 4:46 pm:
“What you talkin’ bout Plummer?”
- Rep. John Fritchey - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 4:53 pm:
Sen. Raoul thinks to himself “What the hell has Sen. Bond been eating? The guy’s grown a foot taller!”
- fed up - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 5:03 pm:
JP “You know Kwame if you pop that collar you will look at least a half inch taller” and then Kwame ” Dude I know where to score some good “medical weed” if you really want to enjoy the bands”
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 5:51 pm:
Campaigning is easy. I was top seller every year in my band selling chocolate bars.
And you know what sold the best? Caramel. Sometimes the rice crunchies. If went to a house with a black family I would always treat them the same and pretend they had enough money to buy my band candy too. It didn’t matter to me.
Did you ever sell band candy?
What instrument did you play? I played the cymbals. Sometimes I played the triangle. Which instrument do you think is better?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 6:13 pm:
JP - “You like me, you want to smile and say, ‘I like you’ … Just say it, it won’t hurt. I can totally see you trying to hold back that smile … It’s just like summer camp … one minute I am getting ’swirlies’ and the next minute we are all laughing about the ’swirlie’…C’mon… just give me a smile … we can be buds … I win this election thingy, and we could have lunch together… we could give each other nicknames … Why won’t you just smile… Dad says ‘If you have one friend … that’s one more friend then the none you have Jason, so don’t smother the poor guy!’ … Probably should have kept that one to myself … Can you just smile so the guy that was sent to babysit me will tell Jerry I made a friend … please?”
- Returning Dog - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 7:23 pm:
‘I must admit I didn’t think much of Andy first time I laid eyes on him; looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over. That was my first impression of the man.’
- Dorothea Brooke - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 7:26 pm:
“So what you’re saying, Kwame, is all I have to do to blend in here is untuck my polo shirt? Really? Who knew?”
- Jebediah Johnson - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 7:33 pm:
KR: “No, I don’t care how ‘cute’ it would look…you can’t stick a sippy cup in my hand and carry me around in a Baby Bjorn.”
JP: “Hey, it never hurts to ask. Maybe after November?”
- Statehouse Intern - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 7:35 pm:
Kwame: How about you and your boys against me…and the Revolution.
(It’s from Chapelle’s Show)
- Not My First Time at the Rodeo - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 7:56 pm:
Plumier: Man, those Sousaphones really bring back the memories! This one time, at band camp, Judy Barr Topeka and I were alone in the rec room, practicing our big clarinet duet, and. . . .well, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
Raoul: Or maybe you could just politely look the other way while I chew off my own foot to escape this conversation.
- Josh - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 8:01 pm:
JP: I’ll have a Mai Tai Please.
- archpundit - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 8:26 pm:
No, I am not the next Barack Obama. I just happen to be the Senator from his old Senate District.
Yes, I know the nice tall white guy from Champaign who is a State Senator told you that, but he does that to clueless people so they’ll come up and torment me.
- dumb ol' country boy - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 9:27 pm:
KR: No you cannot not call me, no we cannot be allies, and no we cannot be friends..your going to get me in trouble…. and stop starng at my water you are not getting a drink.
JP: Awhh geee Kadiwompus, How do you say your name again? I had hoped we could combine forces and do so much for everyone. Pa and Aunt B always said make friends not enemies.
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 9:48 pm:
KR: “Your ‘mama did’t raise no fools, huh’? And your people are telling you that’s going to fly? Hmmm.”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 9:56 pm:
JP: “I was born and raised downstate in Illinois…on a farm back in the woods….”
KR: “You’re going to have to try a little harder than that, Jason.”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 10:00 pm:
JP: “I was the oldest of the famiLEE…*long pause*…and everyone was dependin’ on me.”
KR: “You guys really REALLY have to work on your ‘messaging’”, Jason. Just sayin’.”
- The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 10:05 pm:
Sorry. The last three were obviously mine, too.
- Ask JR - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 10:29 pm:
KR: “So, you’re asking me for my vote?
JP: “Yup.”
KR: “OK. That’s fair. I’ll consider it.”
JP: “Thanks.”
- Just 4 Fun - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 11:36 pm:
“Mr. President, I gotta tell you, it’s a real honor to meet you. I’m a little surprised that you’re this far back in the parade…and I do wonder where the secret service is…but if it’s ok with you, I’d like you to sign my autograph book at the end of the route. I just need to grab it out of the backseat of Bill’s porsche. I’m hoping to make it to the ‘front row’ one day, if you know what I mean, but we’ll see. Btw, I don’t know why your Dem friends keep picking on Bill and his car. I mean, honestly, I’m the one with a fully loaded ‘89 plymouth reliant with power windows and bench seats…and soon I’m going to be able to drive it on my own. And seriously, have you seen his condo in Florida? I mean, it’s totally awesome and I love Daytona, but when the spring breakers leave, there’s like nothing to do there. Although, why do you think Bill wanted me to stay down there for awhile? Hmmm. Alright, I know you’re busy…and I should shake some hands now…right? Right. Good talk.
- ChicagoDem - Wednesday, Sep 15, 10 @ 11:57 pm:
KR: Did you contribute to Haiti aids?
JP: Yeah, man! Aids Africa, Aids Samalia…etc. So, now I need your help, bro!
- a.l.byrd - Thursday, Sep 16, 10 @ 1:53 am:
Excuse me, sir… Do you know where I might find the “South Side?”
- How Ironic - Thursday, Sep 16, 10 @ 8:37 am:
KR: “So would you recommend the Plasma or the LCD?”
JP: “I don’t work for Best Buy…don’t let the blue shirt fool you. Besides, if I need some spending money daddy gives me some.”
- zatoichi - Thursday, Sep 16, 10 @ 8:52 am:
KR: Shirt tucked, sleeves creased! Have some self respect man.