“I hope that jerk in the shark suit didn’t follow me here. Geeze, I can’t stand that guy. Who is he anyway? Maybe I’ll have Kennedy track him down. OK, time to vote. First, there’s me. Check! Kirk, you’re a goner. Then, hmmm. Quinn? Whitney? Can’t do Cohen. Oh, man, there’s shark suit guy. I barely knew Jaws. I can’t even remember what we did together in Florida. Of course… Well, best not to think about that now. Back to voting. Quinn, I guess. Maybe I should just undervote. No, Quinn.”
- Anon 3:12 saw me vote! - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:16 pm:
Caption: “oops voted for Kirk for the unexpired term. Oh well.”
I actually voted bipartisan, with the pathological liar getting six weeks and the mob banker getting six years. I thought it’d be fun to split them. Am I the only one?!?
- Rahm's Parking Meter - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:16 pm:
Ok, so while nobody is watching I slip in a couple of dozen more ballots….now to get ‘em into the ballot box…..hehe voting turnout in Chicago is gonna be high this year!
“C”, “C”, “C”…. Whoa … there are actually names … I was told “don’t worry” … people are actually have a CHOICE! …Cripes …What’s that guy doin’, he voting my way …I think he’s a “plus” … just a quick peek … Dang! … they caught me peeking … ok, start over … What!?!? Can you believe it, the “C” candidate is Kirk … now what? … I will just wait for the precinct captain to leave, then get another ballot … (looks over at the table and whistles)….
I hope no one notices me going from booth to booth, crossing out Kirk’s name saying he decided to drop out. If any voter questions me, I tell them Jaws has Kirk with him, if they want to verify by phone.
…there’s a lot a things about me you don’t know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn’t understand. Things you couldn’t understand. Things you shouldn’t understand.
“Exuse me … Will the voter with the Illinois License Plate “Illinois Official - Treasurer 5″ … Will you please go to your car …Your alarm is going off …”
Precinct Captain - (Whispering) So … I got a call from the 13th Ward and they told me … Dump Alexi, Dump Quinn … and focus on the Illinois House seat in your precinct … so I just dumped the Palm Cards. …(snicker) but I kept one for Alexi ’cause I know he votes here and I gave it too him …he’ll never know”
- Concerned Observer - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:09 pm:
*psst*…the money’s in this bag…now, don’t tell ANYONE where you got it….
- Anon - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:09 pm:
Which judges do I vote for again?
- Jo - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:10 pm:
Alexi makes sure no cameras are watching his ballot as he casts his vote for Bill “Two Fingers” Brady.
- RhamRulesClinton - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:10 pm:
Who does the mob want me to vote for?
- Park - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:11 pm:
“Psst….what’s the answer to question 3?”
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:11 pm:
“I hope that jerk in the shark suit didn’t follow me here. Geeze, I can’t stand that guy. Who is he anyway? Maybe I’ll have Kennedy track him down. OK, time to vote. First, there’s me. Check! Kirk, you’re a goner. Then, hmmm. Quinn? Whitney? Can’t do Cohen. Oh, man, there’s shark suit guy. I barely knew Jaws. I can’t even remember what we did together in Florida. Of course… Well, best not to think about that now. Back to voting. Quinn, I guess. Maybe I should just undervote. No, Quinn.”
- SAP - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:11 pm:
Wow, this ballot let’s me vote for myself twice! I’m not on camera, am I?
- jt - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:12 pm:
What, me worry?
- Vibes - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:12 pm:
Will anyone notice if I vote for me twice?
Oh wait, I think I’m SUPPOSED to.
- Realist - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:12 pm:
Dude, what’s this question about “unexpired term”?
- Jo - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:12 pm:
“Ummm… guys? This is just the men’s room”
- Don't Worry, Be Happy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:12 pm:
I didn’t do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can’t prove anything.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:12 pm:
In the spirit of compromise, Alexi splits his vote, giving six weeks to the pathological liar and six years to the mob banker.
- Sporty41 - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:13 pm:
“Do you have any other ballots I could fill out?”
- Solomon - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:14 pm:
He’s waiting for a staffer to tell him how to vote.
- zatoichi - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:14 pm:
In what way am I funny….
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:14 pm:
The Alexi Giannoulias campaign protested The Capitol Fax’s afternoon caption contest today.
“This picture isn’t fair,” said a campaign spokesman. “Alexi isn’t a mob banker. Alexi is not even a banker, and never has been.”
- washedmyhands - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:15 pm:
“How does that blessing go again? Oh yeah….”Out of the Saganaki and into the Senate.”"
- Election Fun - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:15 pm:
“Now what do I do?”
- Anon 3:12 saw me vote! - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:16 pm:
Caption: “oops voted for Kirk for the unexpired term. Oh well.”
I actually voted bipartisan, with the pathological liar getting six weeks and the mob banker getting six years. I thought it’d be fun to split them. Am I the only one?!?
- Rahm's Parking Meter - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:16 pm:
Jaws, stay away from my polling place!!!!!!!
- Will Watcher - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:16 pm:
Hey, Robin Kelly . . I have an office manager named Robin Kelly.
- A.B. - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:17 pm:
Ok, so while nobody is watching I slip in a couple of dozen more ballots….now to get ‘em into the ballot box…..hehe voting turnout in Chicago is gonna be high this year!
- Logical Thinker - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:17 pm:
“Who’s this guy Alexander Giannoulias? Is he related?”
- TadMont - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:17 pm:
Wonder if they will get suspicious if I ask to take out another ballot?
- DzNuts - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:19 pm:
“Look at me — never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.”
- Neuman - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:20 pm:
Why do they take pictures of me when I’m constipated?!?!?!
- Norseman - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:21 pm:
I hope nobody sees me voting for Kirk.
- RP - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:22 pm:
Do you think the “nut people” would give me a shot like they did Rod after this gig goes down the tubes later tonight
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:22 pm:
Ut oh … this is like the ACT test for college …
“C”, “C”, “C”…. Whoa … there are actually names … I was told “don’t worry” … people are actually have a CHOICE! …Cripes …What’s that guy doin’, he voting my way …I think he’s a “plus” … just a quick peek … Dang! … they caught me peeking … ok, start over … What!?!? Can you believe it, the “C” candidate is Kirk … now what? … I will just wait for the precinct captain to leave, then get another ballot … (looks over at the table and whistles)….
- Waco Kid - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:24 pm:
“Okay Alexi, put on a serious face, look around the room like you know what you are doing, and click there’s the shot. Whew”
- Pleading the fifth - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:24 pm:
“Well…I did give money to the mob.” (Votes Kirk)
- Ron Burgundy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:24 pm:
I know, I’ll give ‘em my Bobby DeNiro as a young Vito Corleone impression… Then again, maybe a mob movie isn’t such a good idea.
- JD - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:25 pm:
Oh oh, here come the Green Army after me
- JD - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:26 pm:
meant Greek Army, nor Green Army
- Ron Burgundy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:26 pm:
Rich… Whitey… Hey, I’m not running for Governor!
- Mercutio_27 - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:30 pm:
Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago, casts his ballot early this morning.
- siriusly - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:31 pm:
Who should I vote for in the US Senate and Governor’s races? All the choices are so unappealing.
- Cecil C. - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:37 pm:
Do I really need to fill this whole thing out… I really only care about me..
- MrJM - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:40 pm:
“Hmm… If I vote for that Jones kid to finish Roland’s term, I can still go skiing over Christmas…”
– MrJM
- Anonymous Coward - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:42 pm:
Just try and prove I voted in six other precincts.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:45 pm:
(Thinking to himself) …”Where is that Staffer … I didn’t go all these years faking I can read and to blow it because I dunno which name is mine … “
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:47 pm:
“You gotta be kidding me! … no … don’t…. leave it …pick another one … yep … the cop took my jelly donut …now what?”
- kj - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:49 pm:
“oohhh, LeAlan Jones he sounds cool……..uh oh”
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:50 pm:
This makes it three times that I have voted in my life!
- Living in Oklahoma - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:50 pm:
If I lose this election I am going to go Charlie Sheen all over Chicago for about 3 weeks.
- Not This Time - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:51 pm:
I wish I had my lucky red hat . . .
http://thoughtfullaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/grinch.png
- Right Girl - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:52 pm:
The Ghost of Bobby Darin caught on tape voting in Chicago.
- buck - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:53 pm:
So I am like Charles Broson in the great escape; I am doggie tunnels.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:53 pm:
“Huh …’Pot Luck’ Dinner at the Parish Center on Thursday … that looks like fun …”
- ourMagician - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:54 pm:
It’s always nice to have a polling place in my kitchen. Just remember WWBD?
- Vote Quimby! - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:57 pm:
Exaggerate this, Kirk!
On this side of the wall, I’m a financial genius. Yet on this side, I’m a failed mob banker.
(snickers) What’s next, a YELLOW party?
- DuPage Dave - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:57 pm:
Hey- they spelled my name right!
- BW - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:58 pm:
As soon as that election judge turns her head, I am gonna plaster this booth with Alexi stickers!
- vote master - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:01 pm:
Lets see, have I voted five or six times today.
- Bluejay - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:03 pm:
Hey babe - how you doin’?
- Downstate weed chewing hick - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:08 pm:
I so could have played Ross.
- archpundit - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:08 pm:
Dammit, I told Kennedy to write down who I was supposed to vote for after getting past Robin.
- A.B. - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:08 pm:
DO I get in trouble if I use a cheat sheet? Hmmm looks like that guy’s doing it, maybe I can get away with it…
- Levois - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:08 pm:
Who’s is she voting for? Vote for me! VOTE FOR ME!!! DARN!!! She didn’t vote for me!
- LincolnLounger - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:09 pm:
I hope nobody asks because I STILL don’t know who the Mayor of Peoria is.
- Njardar - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:09 pm:
Color in the oval, I couldn’t do that in kindergarten. What if I go outside the lines, everyone will know. Man, this is one tough test.
- Njardar - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:12 pm:
When is the proctor goin to tell us to start… I’m getting tired of waiting.
- Bob - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:16 pm:
I wish Barack and Pat where here. I forgot what they said to do. I wonder if I could ask somebody?
- Rich Miller is a dbag - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:18 pm:
Hopefully I can vote better than I can invest taxpayer money
- Bluejay - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:25 pm:
Hey, do I smell fresh loukamades?
- @all - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:25 pm:
What’s going on here? I thought Jaws meant the fix was in when he said my name would be on the ballot twice. This ain’t right.
- Jake from Elwood - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:28 pm:
Where did I put that palmcard that Barack gave me?
- Bluejay - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:35 pm:
If I don’t win this, I’ve got my Greek passport and I am SO outta here!
- ANON - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:36 pm:
“I bet it’s Kirk in the Jaws suit”
- Honest Abe - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:43 pm:
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. . .
- CJS - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:43 pm:
what would Barack Obama do?
- Edison Parker - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:45 pm:
For the last time, I’m NOT Pee Wee Herman. Go away.
- shore - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:46 pm:
get your hands off my federal bank bailout!
- OneMan - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:46 pm:
Alexi in a moment of levity at the end of the campaign blew everyone away with his Pee-Wee Herman face.
- one day at a time - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:51 pm:
Didn’t I see you at the other precinct too
- Wensicia - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:52 pm:
I hope no one notices me going from booth to booth, crossing out Kirk’s name saying he decided to drop out. If any voter questions me, I tell them Jaws has Kirk with him, if they want to verify by phone.
- Will Watcher - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:53 pm:
I know you are but what am I.
- Louis G. Atsaves - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 5:10 pm:
Hey! This is NOT the ballot I want to vote for!
- Dan S, a Taxpayer and a Cubs Fan - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 5:27 pm:
Where am I on here again?? and am I on all 10 you gave me???
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 5:36 pm:
…there’s a lot a things about me you don’t know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn’t understand. Things you couldn’t understand. Things you shouldn’t understand.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 5:40 pm:
“Exuse me … Will the voter with the Illinois License Plate “Illinois Official - Treasurer 5″ … Will you please go to your car …Your alarm is going off …”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 5:48 pm:
Precinct Captain - (Whispering) So … I got a call from the 13th Ward and they told me … Dump Alexi, Dump Quinn … and focus on the Illinois House seat in your precinct … so I just dumped the Palm Cards. …(snicker) but I kept one for Alexi ’cause I know he votes here and I gave it too him …he’ll never know”
- Gregor Samsa - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:02 pm:
“I’ll meet you by that place, with the guy from the thing that one time… all right?”
- Way Way Down Here - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:27 pm:
Who you lookin’ at? Don’t you know who I am?
- Vote Quimby! - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:28 pm:
“Wow….what a bunch of losers!”
- 118th - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:56 pm:
“Earnest Goes To Vote”
- The End Is Near - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:07 pm:
Reporters question Dim Bulb about Bright Start.