* OK, make sure you’re not eating when you read my Sun-Times column this morning. Please, put down that bagel. Set aside your croissant. You’ll thank me later. Ready? Begin…
I was thinking the other day about what sort of governor Pat Quinn ought to be now that the election is over, and for some odd reason I flashed back to an old buddy I haven’t seen in a decade.
Years ago, I had a little cabin in the Missouri woods. My neighbors would get together on weekend evenings around a campfire, drink beer and tell stories.
One of my neighbors was a factory worker who had been laid off from Boeing and eventually ended up working at a different factory for half the pay. He wasn’t ever bitter, though, and he’d do anything for anybody.
My friend also had a fascinating ability to mimic a hoot owl. He’d hoot for a few minutes and pretty soon all the trees surrounding the campfire would be filled with owls, hooting back at him, their eyes glowing from the reflection of the blaze.
It always gave me a spooky rush, and I begged him more times than I can remember to do it again. He never once failed.
One evening, my buddy showed up at the fire pit with a big bandage on his left cheek. I asked him what happened.
He said he had been out hunting with his dogs in a field not far from where we were sitting. He was slowly making his way through a stand of tall grass when suddenly a copperhead snake jumped up and bit him hard on his cheek.
Talk about a spooky rush. I didn’t know copperheads could even leap, and because we weren’t far from where my pal was attacked, I nervously scanned my surroundings before asking what he did next.
“You mean after I screamed?” he said with a laugh.
Yeah. After you screamed.
Well, he said, the snake wouldn’t let go of his cheek, even though he tried and tried to pry its head loose from his face. Nobody could help him because he was alone except for his dogs. So, he said, he grabbed that snake with one hand, pulled out his hunting knife with the other and cut the copperhead’s body off from its head.
Then he walked back to his car, with the copperhead’s fangs still embedded in his cheek, and drove himself to the nearest emergency room.
I almost fainted just listening to his tale. I bet I’ve probably lost a few readers by now as well. You don’t expect to see a crazy scary snake story when you pick up the Chicago Sun-Times.
But if I could force Quinn to model himself on anyone, it would be my long-ago friend.
Figuratively, of course. Quinn doesn’t have to learn to hoot like an owl, but the governor does need to do a far better job of attracting state legislators to his side whenever he speaks.
Quinn’s post-election boasts about his supposed “mandate” for a tax increase did nothing but shoo away the General Assembly’s hoot owls. It seems like he loses support every time he opens his mouth. The object is to pass your bills, not kill them.
And some of those Springfield bosses make angry, leaping copperheads look downright tame.
Quinn has a galling habit of flip-flopping whenever they bite him, which is the Statehouse equivalent of lying down to die.
Nobody ever helps him out when this happens because he annoyingly refuses to lay any groundwork and do any real planning before he acts.
So, he’s left alone to deal with his wounds, and it ain’t pretty.
Please, governor. Learn.
* In other news, the gaming expansion bill has hit a new roadblock. Black Caucus members won’t support it…
It’s never easy to expand gaming here, and that’s just one reason why. By the time you please everybody who can kill your bill, it’s too heavy to move. Or, in the local parlance, the Christmas Tree collapses under its own weight.
State revenue from gambling in the past fiscal year was the lowest in 10 years, the result of both the poor economy and Illinois’ indoor smoking ban, a new report said. […]
“However, the numbers continue to suggest that the biggest contributor to the drop in Illinois casino revenues is the indoor smoking ban,” the report concluded.
Since the ban took effect in January 2008, adjusted gross receipts at Illinois casinos dropped 28 percent. The report said both admissions and receipts took hits after the ban went into effect.
“Illinois riverboat totals are significantly worse than the riverboat totals of states surrounding Illinois,” the COGFA report says. “Therefore … it appears that the indoor smoking ban has continued to have a major negative impact on the riverboat industry.”
* Roundup…
* Disclosure Fight Looms in Springfield: Open-records advocates are preparing for a fight in Springfield next week over the lingering effort to make performance evaluations of public employees exempt from the state’s freedom-of-information law. State Representative Linda Chapa LaVia, Democrat of Aurora, is leading the effort to override Gov. Pat Quinn’s amendatory veto of a bill that would have exempted the evaluations. Mr. Quinn sent the legislation back to the House in July, narrowing the exempt list to law-enforcement personnel.
Yeesh. They say there are venomous snakes in every state of the union except Maine, Alaska and Hawaii, but they seem to more common the farther south you go. I’ll stay north.
Quinn would be wise to heed Steve Brown’s admonishment the other day: “let’s start at square one.”
And governor, get yourself a heavy hitter Chief of Staff. It’s a big job — delegate responsibly.
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 9:02 am:
My advice to Governor Quinn would be to read “Good to Great,” “Getting to Yes,” “Art of War” and take some judo classes.
Quinn is Governor, not Supreme Dictator. He needs to:
1. Strengthen his own position by rebuilding his organization from the ground up, getting the wrong people off the bus ASAP and the right people on the bus and in the right seats.
2. Figure out what he really wants to accomplish in the next four years and negotiate, negotiate, negotiate…without giving up his principles. The first two years of the Quinn agenda were dictated by the Tribune editorial board and the Republicans. That’s a recipe for disaster.
3. Exploit his opponents’ weaknesses, and turn their strengths against them.
Tom Cross and the Tribune want to repeal pensions for all teachers, police, firefighters, and other public servants in Illinois? Great. File a bill with Cross’ name on it and bring it to the floor for a vote. My bet — only a third of Republicans vote Yes. I guarantee you Tom Cross will stop mentioning pension reform, because every time he does, you’ll remind folks the majority of GOP’s voted No.
Here’s a couple of other tidbits of advice:
Remember Danial Burnham: “Make no small plans, for they have no magic to stir men’s blood.”
- Way South of the Border - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 9:45 am:
Hmmm. I think you could have made this good point about Quinn with just the hoot owl story. On the other hand, this is good info for those of us who live among copperheads.
My bagel tastes fine but you’ve scared me off hiking the back 40, at least without my hunting knife.
At the risk of having it go to your head, I think that’s one of your best columns Rich.
And yes A.B., copperheads are venomous, but not very. Only a small child would probably be in any danger of dying, and maybe not even then. Don’t know if there are any lethal cases. I’m sure it’s not fun though.
I liked the story, also. (Although I had English muffin instead of bagel)
I wonder when it will occur to Govenor Pat that you can’t please everybody, so why try? He is the governor, like it or not, (I don’t but an not that hung up on it..the people spoke) and there are tough choices to make. We can’t go on pretending someone else can clean up the mess and that there won’t be pain (allot of it actually) before we see pleasure again.
If it means being tough, then be tough.
The copperhead story reminds me of one my wife told a few years ago when she worked in the Zoology Department at SIU. It’s not as hair-raising as Rich’s, but it’s a good one in its own way.
A woman called one morning about a snake that had gotten into her house and she wanted to ask a herpetologist if what she’d found was indeed a copperhead. Monica put the snake expert on the phone with her and as the conversation proceeded, the snake in question was the right color and had the triangular head which fit the profile of copperhead. The snake expert said it certainly sounded like she had found a copperhead and he then asked her where the snake was located. She said, “Well, I’m holding it in my other hand while I’m talking to you. What should I do with it? He told her to walk outside and “throw it as far as you can!”
Might as well be bold and take some risks. Lisa will become governor in 2014 in any case. What does Quinn have to lose? At least go out in a blaze of glory.
- Jake from Elwood - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 10:26 am:
I agree completely with your advice to the Governor on working with the legislature. Even legislatures who support him and agree with his goals and priorities are tired of being blindsided by public announcements of initiatives that they never heard of, and then being called by local media to comment on something they had not had a chance to think through. He needs to make his friends in the legislature look good, rather than catching them off base time after time.
QUinn has always been dplaqued by his ready fire aim approach.
Quinn has alays been in the minority advocate (truth to power) seat where this approach was fine; but now he is the pwoer, and this approah is always fail. The problem is, Quinn is an old dog who seems unwilling or unable to learn new tricks. He needs to completly change how he approaches governing when heis in charge, theproblem is he seems complelty uninterested in changing his ways or considering a different appraoch. This is they way he has always been and change does not seem part of his makeup.
He needs to read who moved my cheese YDD before anything else.
There are many of us who expected Pat Quinn after over thirty years in state and Chicago politics to have learned these lessons when he became governor after we all watched the slow motion corruption and impeachment of his old running mate.
But after two years in office, in the middle of a nationwide recession, after getting a honeymoon period longer and less deserving than a Lisa Minelli husband - he did not demonstrate to anyone living in Illinois that he was more than a slow moving tree sloth who found himself hanging in Springfield Illinois.
He has a resume that should have instilled many lessons, but so far as governor, he has been a complete bust. Half the state agrees with that accessment. Unlike a real newby governor-elect, we have see what Pat Quinn as governor has done. Believing that he is holding back demonstrates a stronger faith than Linus’ faith in the Great Pumpkin.
After waiting two years for Pat Quinn to lead, I am not expecting anything more from him than he has already gave. Zippo.
Amen brother. And since Rich isn’t going to go and work for you governor, and since we all know you need someone to force you to take advice, you should beg Yellow Dog Democrat to be your chief of staff. YDD, that was a very succinct summary of exactly what Quinn needs to do.
Governor, will all due respect, even though you think you got the job on your merits, you didn’t. You were lucky. You can either be a weak governor for four more years or you can start listening to people who are trying to help you achieve your goals for the state. Suck up your pride and admit you don’t have the answers. Then take Rich’s advice and learn.
Illinois can’t afford four more years of the tumultuous leadership you’ve given us for the past two. This isn’t about you, it’s about Illinois and getting things done.
With the constraints of election behind him we can only hope that he becomes the leader the state needs in this its most difficult of hours (economically speaking). Despite his annoying rhetoric he does have a mandate from all of the electorate to work to get us out of this mess. Unfortunately, I don’t believe he (or anyone elected to his position) can do it without a tax increase. In my mind if he wants to sell a tax increase that could get a broader base of support make it temporary to get us out of the hole that we find ourselves and adjust state programs and spending to live within the current tax rates. Any new or expanded programs should come at the expense of existing programs. I’ll admit I haven’t crunched any numbers on this but can anyone give me any reason as to why this wouldn’t be a palatable approach?
Well, tonight’s nightmare has been set up, snakes that leap up and bite you in the face. Not only that, they won’t let go, like those creatures from “Aliens”.
Unlike with your friend, most of us know Quinn wouldn’t have the common sense to cut off the snake’s body. So he should never hunt alone. He needs someone with sense to yell at him and tell him how to keep himself from the folly of making inept decisions. But will he listen to anyone else?
- Way Way Down Here - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 2:47 pm:
Takes a big dog to make a ton.
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 4:22 pm:
=== He needs to read who moved my cheese YDD before anything else. ===
No one would buy a temporary tax hike as temporary. We all rember the temporary toll roads that were scheduled to stop being toll roads before I was born
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 4:48 pm:
47th Ward -
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I don’t think Governor Quinn needs me as his Chief of Staff — from everything I’ve heard, Saddler is doing a great job.
However, if Quinn needs my help in Springfield, how could I say No?
But, unlike Rahm, I won’t claim to still live in Chicago
- Just The Way It Is One - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 8:12 pm:
As a hunter myself, GREAT story, Rich. As far as analogy to Quinn, you’ve got a point there too. One thing I think you should expect to see far more often over the next four years, though, is more of the Real Pat Quinn. It’s clear that he’s been emboldened by his victory cuz no matter how anybody tries to spin or minimize it the fact is—MOST of the people in Illinois who cared enough to vote said that out of all the choices, he’s the one we can most deal with/accept to be our leader. Politics is tough. You can’t always insist on my way or the highway. But the Real Quinn is the guy who has the GUTS to stand up for what is right, or at least best overall, the guy who was roundly BOOED 30 years ago for % MINUTES STRAIGHT in the Legislature when introduced after passing the Cutback Amendment…don’t forget that. This guy may not be the “man of steel” but he sure as heck has a cast-iron stomach–and especially when he believes the majority of people who care are on his side–make no mistake: Pat Quinn is fearless and WILL stand up to ANYone–a State Senator was quoted decades ago when asked about Quinn’s toughness, aspirations, and getting what he guns for, if it was similar to wanting to wield the power of the President, and the Senator replied, “President? Heck–he wants to be Emperor!”
- wordslinger - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 8:50 am:
Yeesh. They say there are venomous snakes in every state of the union except Maine, Alaska and Hawaii, but they seem to more common the farther south you go. I’ll stay north.
Quinn would be wise to heed Steve Brown’s admonishment the other day: “let’s start at square one.”
And governor, get yourself a heavy hitter Chief of Staff. It’s a big job — delegate responsibly.
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 9:02 am:
My advice to Governor Quinn would be to read “Good to Great,” “Getting to Yes,” “Art of War” and take some judo classes.
Quinn is Governor, not Supreme Dictator. He needs to:
1. Strengthen his own position by rebuilding his organization from the ground up, getting the wrong people off the bus ASAP and the right people on the bus and in the right seats.
2. Figure out what he really wants to accomplish in the next four years and negotiate, negotiate, negotiate…without giving up his principles. The first two years of the Quinn agenda were dictated by the Tribune editorial board and the Republicans. That’s a recipe for disaster.
3. Exploit his opponents’ weaknesses, and turn their strengths against them.
Tom Cross and the Tribune want to repeal pensions for all teachers, police, firefighters, and other public servants in Illinois? Great. File a bill with Cross’ name on it and bring it to the floor for a vote. My bet — only a third of Republicans vote Yes. I guarantee you Tom Cross will stop mentioning pension reform, because every time he does, you’ll remind folks the majority of GOP’s voted No.
Here’s a couple of other tidbits of advice:
Remember Danial Burnham: “Make no small plans, for they have no magic to stir men’s blood.”
Tired of losing? Stop playing their game.
- A.B. - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 9:32 am:
….aren’t copperheads venomous???
- Way South of the Border - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 9:45 am:
Hmmm. I think you could have made this good point about Quinn with just the hoot owl story. On the other hand, this is good info for those of us who live among copperheads.
My bagel tastes fine but you’ve scared me off hiking the back 40, at least without my hunting knife.
- fed up - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 9:48 am:
I have a feeling the final bill will have minority set asides. I hope it gets done the state is losing millions to Indiana and Iowa casinos
- just sayin' - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 9:58 am:
At the risk of having it go to your head, I think that’s one of your best columns Rich.
And yes A.B., copperheads are venomous, but not very. Only a small child would probably be in any danger of dying, and maybe not even then. Don’t know if there are any lethal cases. I’m sure it’s not fun though.
- LisleMike - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 10:10 am:
I liked the story, also. (Although I had English muffin instead of bagel)
I wonder when it will occur to Govenor Pat that you can’t please everybody, so why try? He is the governor, like it or not, (I don’t but an not that hung up on it..the people spoke) and there are tough choices to make. We can’t go on pretending someone else can clean up the mess and that there won’t be pain (allot of it actually) before we see pleasure again.
If it means being tough, then be tough.
- Jak Tichenor - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 10:21 am:
The copperhead story reminds me of one my wife told a few years ago when she worked in the Zoology Department at SIU. It’s not as hair-raising as Rich’s, but it’s a good one in its own way.
A woman called one morning about a snake that had gotten into her house and she wanted to ask a herpetologist if what she’d found was indeed a copperhead. Monica put the snake expert on the phone with her and as the conversation proceeded, the snake in question was the right color and had the triangular head which fit the profile of copperhead. The snake expert said it certainly sounded like she had found a copperhead and he then asked her where the snake was located. She said, “Well, I’m holding it in my other hand while I’m talking to you. What should I do with it? He told her to walk outside and “throw it as far as you can!”
- just sayin' - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 10:22 am:
Might as well be bold and take some risks. Lisa will become governor in 2014 in any case. What does Quinn have to lose? At least go out in a blaze of glory.
- Jake from Elwood - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 10:26 am:
What, no corresponding photo? LOL
- justsickofit - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 10:31 am:
loved the story. As a child, I remember a stand of woods with a sign in N. Il. It said “roll up windows — rattlers” I assumed snakes could jump.
- jake - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 11:09 am:
Rich,
I agree completely with your advice to the Governor on working with the legislature. Even legislatures who support him and agree with his goals and priorities are tired of being blindsided by public announcements of initiatives that they never heard of, and then being called by local media to comment on something they had not had a chance to think through. He needs to make his friends in the legislature look good, rather than catching them off base time after time.
- Ghost - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 11:12 am:
QUinn has always been dplaqued by his ready fire aim approach.
Quinn has alays been in the minority advocate (truth to power) seat where this approach was fine; but now he is the pwoer, and this approah is always fail. The problem is, Quinn is an old dog who seems unwilling or unable to learn new tricks. He needs to completly change how he approaches governing when heis in charge, theproblem is he seems complelty uninterested in changing his ways or considering a different appraoch. This is they way he has always been and change does not seem part of his makeup.
He needs to read who moved my cheese YDD before anything else.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 11:19 am:
There are many of us who expected Pat Quinn after over thirty years in state and Chicago politics to have learned these lessons when he became governor after we all watched the slow motion corruption and impeachment of his old running mate.
But after two years in office, in the middle of a nationwide recession, after getting a honeymoon period longer and less deserving than a Lisa Minelli husband - he did not demonstrate to anyone living in Illinois that he was more than a slow moving tree sloth who found himself hanging in Springfield Illinois.
He has a resume that should have instilled many lessons, but so far as governor, he has been a complete bust. Half the state agrees with that accessment. Unlike a real newby governor-elect, we have see what Pat Quinn as governor has done. Believing that he is holding back demonstrates a stronger faith than Linus’ faith in the Great Pumpkin.
After waiting two years for Pat Quinn to lead, I am not expecting anything more from him than he has already gave. Zippo.
Pat Quinn doesn’t give a “hoot”.
- 47th Ward - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 12:17 pm:
===Please, governor. Learn.===
Amen brother. And since Rich isn’t going to go and work for you governor, and since we all know you need someone to force you to take advice, you should beg Yellow Dog Democrat to be your chief of staff. YDD, that was a very succinct summary of exactly what Quinn needs to do.
Governor, will all due respect, even though you think you got the job on your merits, you didn’t. You were lucky. You can either be a weak governor for four more years or you can start listening to people who are trying to help you achieve your goals for the state. Suck up your pride and admit you don’t have the answers. Then take Rich’s advice and learn.
Illinois can’t afford four more years of the tumultuous leadership you’ve given us for the past two. This isn’t about you, it’s about Illinois and getting things done.
- Fed-Up - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 12:25 pm:
With the constraints of election behind him we can only hope that he becomes the leader the state needs in this its most difficult of hours (economically speaking). Despite his annoying rhetoric he does have a mandate from all of the electorate to work to get us out of this mess. Unfortunately, I don’t believe he (or anyone elected to his position) can do it without a tax increase. In my mind if he wants to sell a tax increase that could get a broader base of support make it temporary to get us out of the hole that we find ourselves and adjust state programs and spending to live within the current tax rates. Any new or expanded programs should come at the expense of existing programs. I’ll admit I haven’t crunched any numbers on this but can anyone give me any reason as to why this wouldn’t be a palatable approach?
- Wensicia - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 2:31 pm:
Well, tonight’s nightmare has been set up, snakes that leap up and bite you in the face. Not only that, they won’t let go, like those creatures from “Aliens”.
Unlike with your friend, most of us know Quinn wouldn’t have the common sense to cut off the snake’s body. So he should never hunt alone. He needs someone with sense to yell at him and tell him how to keep himself from the folly of making inept decisions. But will he listen to anyone else?
- Way Way Down Here - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 2:47 pm:
Takes a big dog to make a ton.
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 4:22 pm:
=== He needs to read who moved my cheese YDD before anything else. ===
Um, he moved his own cheese.
- Crow04 - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 4:45 pm:
@Fed-Up
No one would buy a temporary tax hike as temporary. We all rember the temporary toll roads that were scheduled to stop being toll roads before I was born
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 4:48 pm:
47th Ward -
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I don’t think Governor Quinn needs me as his Chief of Staff — from everything I’ve heard, Saddler is doing a great job.
However, if Quinn needs my help in Springfield, how could I say No?
But, unlike Rahm, I won’t claim to still live in Chicago
- Pioneer P. - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 6:25 pm:
Great column.
- Just The Way It Is One - Friday, Nov 12, 10 @ 8:12 pm:
As a hunter myself, GREAT story, Rich. As far as analogy to Quinn, you’ve got a point there too. One thing I think you should expect to see far more often over the next four years, though, is more of the Real Pat Quinn. It’s clear that he’s been emboldened by his victory cuz no matter how anybody tries to spin or minimize it the fact is—MOST of the people in Illinois who cared enough to vote said that out of all the choices, he’s the one we can most deal with/accept to be our leader. Politics is tough. You can’t always insist on my way or the highway. But the Real Quinn is the guy who has the GUTS to stand up for what is right, or at least best overall, the guy who was roundly BOOED 30 years ago for % MINUTES STRAIGHT in the Legislature when introduced after passing the Cutback Amendment…don’t forget that. This guy may not be the “man of steel” but he sure as heck has a cast-iron stomach–and especially when he believes the majority of people who care are on his side–make no mistake: Pat Quinn is fearless and WILL stand up to ANYone–a State Senator was quoted decades ago when asked about Quinn’s toughness, aspirations, and getting what he guns for, if it was similar to wanting to wield the power of the President, and the Senator replied, “President? Heck–he wants to be Emperor!”