At Al Piemonte Budgeting you can get 0% APR Financing and $4 billion Cash Back on a new State of Illinois Budget, fully equipped, but you’ve gotta act today…
Sure, Quinn’s cut back amendment made me the most powerful person in the state, elected by less than 1 percent of the people. But that in no way influenced my family’s decision not to run in 2010. Really, I didn’t think he would win and that’s the whole truth.
“A man becomes preeminent, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? The Speakership! A man stands alone in the Well. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the Chamber, what? Part of a Party. Party… Looks, votes, debates, hustles. Part of one big Party. Votes himself the live-long day, Bill Black, Jesse White, and so on. If his Party don’t wins… what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the Gallery, full of Constituents. What does some Representative have to say? I’m goin’ out there for myself. But… I get nowhere unless the Party wins…”
Senator, you can have my answer now, if you like. My final offer is this: nothing. Not even the fee for the gaming license, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally.
“I’m sorry Mr. Chairman, I was distracted looking at the new legislative map and your district in it, you were saying ‘No’ to my request, was that right?”
If you don’t get me and Rich Miller front row tickets for Weird Al at the Prairie Capitol Convention Center on June 5th I swear I am going to crush some heads.
Well I appreciate that you’ve done this before, but I’m going to explain it to you anyway.
First the Governor proposes a budget. Then we all discuss how wrong he is. Then the members of each chamber put out their own ideas. After that goes on for a while. The leaders of the two chambers put a budget together, and that’s the end.
Do you have any questions about this process Senator Cullerton?
- The End Is Near - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:25 am:
I never wanted this for you. I work my whole life - I don’t apologize - to take care of my family, and I refused to be a fool, dancing on the string held by all those bigshots. I don’t apologize - that’s my life - but I thought that, that when it was your time, that you would be the one to hold the string…..Well, it wasn’t enough time….It wasn’t enough time.
Yes, I think it is Constitutional to draw the new legislative map so that Gov. Quinn’s house is no longer in Illinois. We researched that. He’s now in his own district, his own state, really, and unfortunately that disqualifies him from serving as governor any longer. Next question.
- Give Me A Break - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:53 am:
OK, I will explain this one more time, Lowder will write the budget, we send it to the Senate where John’s members tweak it, they said send it back, we concur with the tweaks, we go home. Got any other questions? How many times to I have to explain this to you people?
And I say, eh Lama! Hey! How bout’ a little somethin’, you know. For the effort, you know. And he says ‘Oh… ahh, there won’t be any money. But, when you die, on your death bed, you will receive total consciousness.’… And I said to him, that’s very nice, but that’s not how we do things in Illinois.
Michael: I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse. You see, Johnny, we feel that entertainment is going to be a big factor in drawing gamblers into the casinos. We’re hoping that you’ll sign a contract agreeing to appear 5 times a year. Perhaps convince some of your friends in the movies to do the same. We’re counting on you, Johnny.
Johnny Fontane: Sure, Mike, I’ll do anything for my Godfather. You know that.
What do we do when we have absolutely no will to do what needs to be done?
Get this: we say it’s the Republicans’ fault for having no plan. We used to get called out for doing that sort of thing, but it seriously works nowadays. So wadaya think?
You don’t really want to cut the budget back to what we can afford, right? So this is Cullerton’s and my solution.
“…instead, you go with Steve Brown to Florida. Relax for a couple of days, go to the track. And when you come back, you go home to Karen. Please, there’s no other way?”
…”no, Steve, remember, there’s that scene where Demi Moore is molding clay at the potter’s wheel like this, and Patrick Swayze sits behind her, and he’s not dead yet, and he doesn’t have a shirt on, and ‘Unchained Melody’ by the Righteous Brothers is playing, and OH MY GOD it’s so romantic…. what is the name of that movie? That is my question to you, Steve. And I will not break eye contact with you until I have the correct answer.”
- Robert M Roman - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:04 pm:
The “Illinois Destroyer” is demonstrating a George Thorogood-style hand jive. One wonders if he will follow up with one bourbon, one scotch and one beer.
Rich, I’m just a man, not a God. I’m a poor public servant but a brilliant politician. That’s all. Now get up off your knees, stop calling me Your Highness, and get out of here.
- Joe from Joliet - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 3:19 pm:
You HAVE to do something, you HAVE to take a chance, you DO have to get involved. Thete are people that are having trouble making their miracle happen! There are people that don’t have enough to eat! There are people that are cold! You can go out and say “hello” to these people! You can take an old blanket out of the closet and say “here” or you can make ‘em a sandwich and say “Oh by the way, HERE!”
- Someday, and that day may never come, I’ll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day - accept this justice as a gift on my daughter’s wedding day
Believe it or not, I had no idea that today was his b-day. I was just looking for a funny photo. Weird.
- I don't want to know, I already gave up - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 4:55 pm:
While addressing the GOP Caucus, Speaker Madigan makes the following response to an incredibly dumb question.
“You Republicans make me sick. I provide protection to your ideas and concerns by controlling the far left of my party. I am the reason this deep blue state hasn’t turned into Taxachusetts or the People’s Republic of California. If you haven’t noticed, your party is irrelevant. So, who in your caucus is going to protect this state from left-wing groups like the IEA and IFT? You, Rep. Eddy? I doubt it.
I would prefer a simple thank you and then go about my day and eat my apple. However, you pathetic, weak Republicans instead mock me at every county fair, lincoln day dinner, and fundraiser. I am protecting you from the far left and yet you attack my methods.
However, deep down in places you don’t talk about with your buddies at your local country club, you need me on that speaker’s podium. So forgive me as I do my duty to keep this state somewhat sane while you guys continue to become weaker every day.”
I’m sure you can understand. Doing the kind of work I’m doing, it’s mind-boggling. There’s so much stuff that comes down… you can’t keep your head clear. And if that’s the case, I’m wrong. You’re right. I’m wrong. If I’m wrong, I apologize. I’m just a human being… with all of the foibles and all of the traps… the work, the pressure… the groupies, the caucus… the crew, the incompetence… those behind-the-scenes you think are your friends. You’re not sure if you’ll be there tomorrow… because of their incompetence. There are wonderful pressures that make every day… a glowing, radiant day in your life. It’s terrific. OK, if all of that means nothing… if I’m wrong,in spite of all that… then I apologize. I’m sorry. If you accept my apology… I think we should shake hands. We’ll forget the whole thing. I won’t press charges. You could be in deep trouble… but I will not press charges.
And tomorrow’s question.
“Do you believe Capt Fax’s claim did not know it was MJM’s bday?”
Maybe he just thouhgt it was the day after Emancipation Day…or same day as Waco..or Oklahoma City ….of the day before Columbine …..or fours days Lee A. Daniels and Harold Washington birthdays or five days before Richard M. Daley birthday ….
Like nothing ever happens in mid April.
- Samwise - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 7:29 am:
“Mr. Brown, where’s my apple?”
- Anon - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 7:57 am:
In the voice of Gunnery Sargeant R. Lee Ermey from Full Metal Jacket: “choke yourself. I SAID CHOKE YOURSELF!”
- Save Ferris - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 7:57 am:
“Yes, I am the smartest man in Illinois.”
- Bill - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:01 am:
So, after 4 decades of mismanagement and poor leadership, I have decided to leave the public arena.
- OneMan - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:03 am:
And that is how I was able to show him his still beating political heart before he died
- JustaJoe - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:03 am:
At Al Piemonte Budgeting you can get 0% APR Financing and $4 billion Cash Back on a new State of Illinois Budget, fully equipped, but you’ve gotta act today…
- Cincinnatus - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:05 am:
“What’s a matte you
Hey ya gotta no respect
Whatta you think you do
Why you looka so sad
It’sa not so bad
It’s a nicea place
Ah Shuddupa ya face.”
- vote quimby! - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:05 am:
Sure, Quinn’s cut back amendment made me the most powerful person in the state, elected by less than 1 percent of the people. But that in no way influenced my family’s decision not to run in 2010. Really, I didn’t think he would win and that’s the whole truth.
- Bob - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:05 am:
I got the whole state in my hands, got the whole state in my hands.
- william - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:09 am:
Governor Quinn want in one hand and and @^*t in the other and see which one fills up fastest
- Cincinnatus - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:13 am:
During a rousing game of beach volleyball, MJM digs one and sets up Pat Quinn for the spike.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:15 am:
When Irish eyes aren’t smiling . . .
- Davey Boy Smithe - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:15 am:
After I graduated from Notre Dame, Illinois’ deficit was this big.
- KnuckleHead - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:22 am:
“Go ahead put the handcuffs on!”
- Cradle Catholic - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:25 am:
“As we celebrate Holy Week, I remind you I am the Pontius Pilate of Illinois government and I wash my hands of the state’s budget problems.”
- Throwing Stones - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:32 am:
Illinois deficit was this big before I got into office.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:33 am:
“I’m going to make you an offer you can’t refuse …”
- CircularFiringSquad - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:33 am:
I agree having Gags Brady, NoTaxBill and Billboards as the opposition has made things a little easier
Fire,Aim, Ready
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:34 am:
“On the one hand, I am in control of what you are doing. On the other hand, you think you have control of what you are doing … “
- Old Milwaukee - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:38 am:
My only question to you is “is your proposal good for me? How can I benefit from it?”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:40 am:
“A man becomes preeminent, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? The Speakership! A man stands alone in the Well. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the Chamber, what? Part of a Party. Party… Looks, votes, debates, hustles. Part of one big Party. Votes himself the live-long day, Bill Black, Jesse White, and so on. If his Party don’t wins… what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the Gallery, full of Constituents. What does some Representative have to say? I’m goin’ out there for myself. But… I get nowhere unless the Party wins…”
- zatoichi - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:41 am:
OK. And…..?
- PublicServant - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:44 am:
I’m holding the total amount of republican budget bills in my right hand as we speak…
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:44 am:
“I said to Scott Lee Cohen, ‘If I was you, I would run for Governor as an Independent’ …Who would have thought what happened … would happend?”
- Stones - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:45 am:
I got Quinn by the cahones…..
- Bemused - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:46 am:
Kinda looks like a PR shot for a new run of Oliver
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:46 am:
“I talked with Governor Madigan … Sorry, I spoke with Attorney General Madigan …”
- unclesam - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:47 am:
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:49 am:
We’re both part of the same hypocrisy, senator, but never think it applies to my family.
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:50 am:
Senator, you can have my answer now, if you like. My final offer is this: nothing. Not even the fee for the gaming license, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:50 am:
You want to be a judge — let me tell you how it works.
- Dooley Dudright - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 8:57 am:
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:03 am:
“I’m sorry Mr. Chairman, I was distracted looking at the new legislative map and your district in it, you were saying ‘No’ to my request, was that right?”
- OneMan - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:14 am:
If you don’t get me and Rich Miller front row tickets for Weird Al at the Prairie Capitol Convention Center on June 5th I swear I am going to crush some heads.
- amalia - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:17 am:
Help me help you.
- Small Town Liberal - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:17 am:
I mean, what is compact and contiguous anyway? Is it this wide?
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:19 am:
“What do I look like…All State Insurance??? The only insurance you’ll get from me is when the premiums are paid, then maybe…”
- piling on - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:19 am:
And so, I would say to Mr. Cross and others who might inquire, these simply are not the droids you are looking for.
Let me repeat that.
These droids … aren’t the ones you’re looking for.
- Ravenswood White Sox Fan - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:21 am:
“Ozzie, I know you need bullpen help, but we’re broke and the Cubs fans in the Senate would filibuster the approps bill anyhow.”
- siriusly - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:24 am:
Well I appreciate that you’ve done this before, but I’m going to explain it to you anyway.
First the Governor proposes a budget. Then we all discuss how wrong he is. Then the members of each chamber put out their own ideas. After that goes on for a while. The leaders of the two chambers put a budget together, and that’s the end.
Do you have any questions about this process Senator Cullerton?
- The End Is Near - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:25 am:
“I’d like to phone a friend.”
- Leroy - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:26 am:
See? I don’t have my hands in your pockets.
- Helm - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:28 am:
Hey, be nice to me…It’s my birthday…!!
Happy Birthday Mr. Speaker!! (69)
- Davey Boy Smithe - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:31 am:
See how this finger bends? I expect a worker’s comp settlement of no less than $100k. Thanks.
- Not It - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:35 am:
OneMan beat me to it…
- @ all - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:39 am:
“If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.” (Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction)
- CircularFiringSquad - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:39 am:
I agree that it is really too bad the Tribune failed to when a Pulitzer — again.
Perhaps they might to focus resources on real stories rather than the myths they fixate.
Congrats to the Sun Times for their work!
- just sayin' - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:40 am:
I never wanted this for you. I work my whole life - I don’t apologize - to take care of my family, and I refused to be a fool, dancing on the string held by all those bigshots. I don’t apologize - that’s my life - but I thought that, that when it was your time, that you would be the one to hold the string…..Well, it wasn’t enough time….It wasn’t enough time.
- k3 - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:42 am:
I believe that these people would be excellent members of the judiciary.
- @ all - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:43 am:
Yes, I think it is Constitutional to draw the new legislative map so that Gov. Quinn’s house is no longer in Illinois. We researched that. He’s now in his own district, his own state, really, and unfortunately that disqualifies him from serving as governor any longer. Next question.
- levois - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:43 am:
RELAX!!! you’re on the list.
- Give Me A Break - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:53 am:
OK, I will explain this one more time, Lowder will write the budget, we send it to the Senate where John’s members tweak it, they said send it back, we concur with the tweaks, we go home. Got any other questions? How many times to I have to explain this to you people?
- 10th Indy - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:54 am:
“Not if anything to say about it I have.”
- Downstate - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:54 am:
I have no authority, no power. It’s all a mirage.
- Don't Worry, Be Happy - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 9:59 am:
And I say, eh Lama! Hey! How bout’ a little somethin’, you know. For the effort, you know. And he says ‘Oh… ahh, there won’t be any money. But, when you die, on your death bed, you will receive total consciousness.’… And I said to him, that’s very nice, but that’s not how we do things in Illinois.
- MrJM - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 10:07 am:
“It’s not that hard… you just put one hand on the kitty’s shoulder and one hand on the kitty’s head… and twist.”
– MrJM
- Bring Back Boone's - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 10:10 am:
Michael: I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse. You see, Johnny, we feel that entertainment is going to be a big factor in drawing gamblers into the casinos. We’re hoping that you’ll sign a contract agreeing to appear 5 times a year. Perhaps convince some of your friends in the movies to do the same. We’re counting on you, Johnny.
Johnny Fontane: Sure, Mike, I’ll do anything for my Godfather. You know that.
- Mighty M. Mouse - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 10:19 am:
Will you walk into my parlour? said the spider to the fly. Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy…
- Liberty First - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 10:19 am:
Why are you causing problems?
- truthteller - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 10:31 am:
Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges!
- BW - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 10:34 am:
I once caught a fish this big….
- Steve Bartin - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 10:40 am:
Stop bothering me. I’m not going to write a letter to become a judge.
- Amuzing Myself - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 10:42 am:
What do we do when we have absolutely no will to do what needs to be done?
Get this: we say it’s the Republicans’ fault for having no plan. We used to get called out for doing that sort of thing, but it seriously works nowadays. So wadaya think?
You don’t really want to cut the budget back to what we can afford, right? So this is Cullerton’s and my solution.
- thechampaignlife - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 10:51 am:
And then the TSA agent patted down my legs.
- Lady GaGa - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 10:54 am:
I Do what I Do because, I Am what I Am.
- huchu - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:03 am:
Who do you think I am - the Pope?
- Ghost - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:06 am:
You have to answer for [the budget], [Cross]. You fingered [cuts as the solution] for the people.
or
All right. This one time I’ll let you ask me about my affairs.
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:09 am:
“…instead, you go with Steve Brown to Florida. Relax for a couple of days, go to the track. And when you come back, you go home to Karen. Please, there’s no other way?”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:13 am:
“Respect Mah Authoritah!”
- been there - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:21 am:
“Where’s mine?”
- Louis Howe - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:24 am:
“I’d run for governor myself, except I’ve voted for too many of your goofy ideas.”
- Lefty - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:26 am:
I’ve got the whole wide world in my hands.
- The Mad Hatter - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:26 am:
“Trust me”
- unclesam - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:26 am:
(MJM calmly): “Whoop, there it is.”
- Responsa - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:34 am:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…
- Loop Lady - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:42 am:
I just don’t get why everyone draws a bead on me…I’m just doin’ my job…
- Our Magician - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:47 am:
and on the 7th day, I rested.
- Soxfan - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:51 am:
You see, what you don’t understand is, it’s my world and my state….you just happened to be along for the ride.
- Cadillac - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:56 am:
“….open the doors, and there’s all the people..”
- dupage dan - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 11:59 am:
What, me worry?
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:00 pm:
…”no, Steve, remember, there’s that scene where Demi Moore is molding clay at the potter’s wheel like this, and Patrick Swayze sits behind her, and he’s not dead yet, and he doesn’t have a shirt on, and ‘Unchained Melody’ by the Righteous Brothers is playing, and OH MY GOD it’s so romantic…. what is the name of that movie? That is my question to you, Steve. And I will not break eye contact with you until I have the correct answer.”
- Robert M Roman - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:04 pm:
Brains!
- mokenavince - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:08 pm:
I can only help 1 person per day,todays not your day, Tommorow don’t look to good either!Try mr in a month.
- 3rd Generation Chicago - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:14 pm:
I have nothing, and nothing up my sleeve, lets move forward.
- walkinfool - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:18 pm:
Then you pack the whole mess in the pig’s intestine,
- JBilla - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:20 pm:
Well you can wish in one hand and…
- Eilean left - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:21 pm:
Don’t forget that is my money
- ANON - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:42 pm:
IT’S A TRAP!
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:51 pm:
Take this Judge, please.
- Majority of Me - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:56 pm:
“Regarding his borrowing bill, I explained to the Governor that I am only one of 118 votes.”
- Throwing Stones - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:56 pm:
(3 1/2 years from now) Ladies and Gentleman, I now pass the tourch, Govorner Lisa Madigan.
- Cook County Commoner - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 12:57 pm:
What can your godfather do for you?
- The Captain - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 1:01 pm:
MIME!!!
- Jake From Elwood - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 1:06 pm:
The “Illinois Destroyer” is demonstrating a George Thorogood-style hand jive. One wonders if he will follow up with one bourbon, one scotch and one beer.
- Left Leaner - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 1:10 pm:
“Look, you’re going to do it my way one way or another, so…”
- Old Shepherd - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 1:12 pm:
“…and the agent asked what we call our group and I said, ‘The Aristocrats!’”
- View from the Cheap Seats - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 1:37 pm:
“Pat…..You need to try this new tie on. Everyone is sick of seeing the purple tie. Trust me, it looks good.”
- Statewide - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 1:37 pm:
Hey, look, I’ve told you for decades, I just work here. If you want to blame someone, you go blame Governor (fill-in-the-blank).
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 1:41 pm:
Madigan Displays Sympathy for the Governor
Its here in my right hand, Speaker says
- amalia - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 1:47 pm:
They made Forrest Claypool what?!?
- Bonsaso - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 1:51 pm:
“I defer to you…Just kidding, April fools!”
- TwoFeetThick - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 1:54 pm:
Testicular virility?!?! My left one is this big. The other one’s even bigger. Don’t talk to me about body parts. Ever.
- Il' noise - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 1:58 pm:
“Look, you’re the one who sold his soul to me, now turn it over.”
- Palpatine - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 2:23 pm:
“Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel fleet? Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station!”
- who - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 2:29 pm:
I’m not sure i’ve ever read capital fax?
- Old Milwaukee - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 2:38 pm:
Rich, I’m just a man, not a God. I’m a poor public servant but a brilliant politician. That’s all. Now get up off your knees, stop calling me Your Highness, and get out of here.
- x ace - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 2:42 pm:
My Heart is Pure , My Conscience is Clear , and My Hands are Clean.
- Obamarama - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 2:44 pm:
I’m not kicking the budgetary can down the road. I am merely PLACING it a bit further into the future, like this.
- reformer - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 3:01 pm:
Trust me Tom. The new map will be fair.
- Pat Robertson - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 3:06 pm:
“Guess which hand the penny is in . . . I can keep governors confused for hours with this trick.”
- Precinct Captain - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 3:12 pm:
You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor.
- Joe from Joliet - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 3:19 pm:
You HAVE to do something, you HAVE to take a chance, you DO have to get involved. Thete are people that are having trouble making their miracle happen! There are people that don’t have enough to eat! There are people that are cold! You can go out and say “hello” to these people! You can take an old blanket out of the closet and say “here” or you can make ‘em a sandwich and say “Oh by the way, HERE!”
- Boone Logan Square - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 3:22 pm:
“Take the canoli.”
- downhereforyears - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 3:26 pm:
- Someday, and that day may never come, I’ll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day - accept this justice as a gift on my daughter’s wedding day
- railrat - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 3:40 pm:
OK Steve I’m ready… toss Mr. Cross here !!
- Sinister - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 4:06 pm:
“I AM God”
- Ned Nudley - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 4:11 pm:
“Blue 72….Blue 72….hut, hut, HIKE!”
- Wensicia - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 4:34 pm:
Look, in my hands, the Power of the Force!
- Guru of Greatness - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 4:36 pm:
“What the hell?”
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 4:36 pm:
LOL, the Star Wars geeks are out in full force — or The Force.
- ugh - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 4:42 pm:
Isn’t anyone going to wish me happy birthday?
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 4:45 pm:
Believe it or not, I had no idea that today was his b-day. I was just looking for a funny photo. Weird.
- I don't want to know, I already gave up - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 4:55 pm:
While addressing the GOP Caucus, Speaker Madigan makes the following response to an incredibly dumb question.
“You Republicans make me sick. I provide protection to your ideas and concerns by controlling the far left of my party. I am the reason this deep blue state hasn’t turned into Taxachusetts or the People’s Republic of California. If you haven’t noticed, your party is irrelevant. So, who in your caucus is going to protect this state from left-wing groups like the IEA and IFT? You, Rep. Eddy? I doubt it.
I would prefer a simple thank you and then go about my day and eat my apple. However, you pathetic, weak Republicans instead mock me at every county fair, lincoln day dinner, and fundraiser. I am protecting you from the far left and yet you attack my methods.
However, deep down in places you don’t talk about with your buddies at your local country club, you need me on that speaker’s podium. So forgive me as I do my duty to keep this state somewhat sane while you guys continue to become weaker every day.”
- rodrigo - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 4:56 pm:
but look at how great my district is doing. ok, forget that, look at how great the state is doing, ahh,….ummmm, the bulls are looking good?
- Esquire - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 5:13 pm:
I’m sure you can understand. Doing the kind of work I’m doing, it’s mind-boggling. There’s so much stuff that comes down… you can’t keep your head clear. And if that’s the case, I’m wrong. You’re right. I’m wrong. If I’m wrong, I apologize. I’m just a human being… with all of the foibles and all of the traps… the work, the pressure… the groupies, the caucus… the crew, the incompetence… those behind-the-scenes you think are your friends. You’re not sure if you’ll be there tomorrow… because of their incompetence. There are wonderful pressures that make every day… a glowing, radiant day in your life. It’s terrific. OK, if all of that means nothing… if I’m wrong,in spite of all that… then I apologize. I’m sorry. If you accept my apology… I think we should shake hands. We’ll forget the whole thing. I won’t press charges. You could be in deep trouble… but I will not press charges.
- CircularFiringSquad - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 5:56 pm:
And tomorrow’s question.
“Do you believe Capt Fax’s claim did not know it was MJM’s bday?”
Maybe he just thouhgt it was the day after Emancipation Day…or same day as Waco..or Oklahoma City ….of the day before Columbine …..or fours days Lee A. Daniels and Harold Washington birthdays or five days before Richard M. Daley birthday ….
Like nothing ever happens in mid April.
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 5:57 pm:
I can’t believe Michael Floyd dropped that pass. He was holding his hands all wrong. See, this is how you do it…
I dunno, maybe he was drunk.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Apr 19, 11 @ 6:51 pm:
Careful of words that get caught in your throat
Face the music, take it like a man
Now you see it…now you don’t
- WorkingClassChicagoan - Wednesday, Apr 20, 11 @ 12:33 am:
“Look, I’ve screwed you all over but… forget about it”
- You Can't Stop What's Coming - Wednesday, Apr 20, 11 @ 7:48 am:
Legacy? What legacy?
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Apr 20, 11 @ 8:20 am:
Never underestimate the power of the dark side.
- Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 21, 11 @ 9:08 am:
Do you want to know where Barbara Flynn Currie’s soul is? It’s right here. And there are 200 more that keep it company.