“This is our land. A land of peace and of plenty. A land of harmony and hope. This is our land. Chicago. These are our people. The workers, the strivers, the builders. These are our people. The builders of our world, struggling, fighting… On the streets of our city … Fighting against the mutilation of our hopes and dreams. Who are they? They are Romney voters …”
“Can you all hear me … Can. You. Hear. Me? … That better? Ok … now …I will walk everyone through this, but if you get confused, just follow along on the big screen. Now, take out the blank “Absentee Ballot” that you were handed. Now we are going to go over YOUR ballot, and YOUR vote. Remember … do NOT seal your ballot after following my instructions, not until the ‘Row Captain’ … makes sure it looks, um … official …”
“Our ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ for his service to the Illinois Democratic Party, especially for the past year, goes to Pat Brady …I know, calm down … sit … yeah, he was ‘Ours’ …Get a clue …Pat Brady, come on up!”
“NOw I’m going to ask this person to stay up here for a bit, he has a few of these awards coming… For ‘Closest to the Pin’, ‘Longest Drive’, ‘Longest Putt’ and “Best Score on a Hole Using One Club’ … I know, I know, everyone chill, sit down… we know he’s good … and you know who this guy is … Tom Cross, congratualtions!”
Most at the awards were surprised and confused when they first started hearing that sound, they then realized the microphones were part of the mayor’s Theremin. But once mayor began his 20 minute Theremin solo tribute to Rush they knew it would be best just to enjoy it…
Rahm is right … Rahm cares for us…. Rahm cares for Chicago …@#&%# fix the sound … NO, NO, not that one … Again, Rahm is right …”
- Boone's is Back - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:42 pm:
“[I entered this campaign]…with one purpose only, to point out and make public the dishonesty, the downright villainy of Boss Jim W. Gettys’ political machine, now in complete control of the government of this state. I made no campaign promises, because until a few weeks ago, I had no hope of being elected. Now however, I am something more than a hope. Jim Gettys, Jim Gettys has something less than a chance. Every straw vote, every independent poll shows that I’ll be elected. Now I can afford to make some promises. The working man, the working man and the slum child know they can expect my best efforts in their interests. The nation’s ordinary citizens know that I’ll do everything in my power to protect the underprivileged, the underpaid, and the underfed.”
“Hey … hey … HEY! Hey, this ain’t ’soccer in the suburbs, got it! Not everyone is getting an award, so sit the (beep) down, (beepin) clap when you see me clap on the screen behind me, and get the (beep) out when were done. I got things to do, and being here longer than I have to ain’t going to fly … ok, (sigh) ‘First. (Bleepin). Award. Goes to …”
- Pot calling kettle - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:46 pm:
“Hey, this bluescreen stuff is really neat. They can put old clips of the President, the Governor, the CTU leadership, whoever I want, smiling and applauding in the background for whatever I say, and the tv audiences will never know the difference.”
“I will lay my hands on this pension issue and all will be resolved. With your help and constant devotion to me, we will also be able to raise Rich Miller’s boat from the bottom of Lake Springfield, cure blindness, give Pat Quinn leadership skills, cure deafness, have the Bears win the Super Bowl for this season and next season, cure cancer, have both the Cubs and the White Sox in the playoffs for 2013, cure AIDS, have Pat Quinn not give a ‘State of the State’ speech this year, cure arthritis, have both the Cubs and the White Sox in the World Series for 2014, cure multiple sclerosis, and have an NHL season where the Hawks win the Cup.
Ah, It’s great to be me! Now, where’s my Nobel Prize.”
Ok let’s try that again.
Now when I raise my hands I want ALL the alderman to stand up. The song starts on the first downbeat. And when I point to your section I want you to sing your part. When I raise my hand you sing louder, when I lower it you sing softer.
Ed Burke and his group will sing tenor, Danny Davis and his group will sing bass. Near northside and northside you are alto. Now let’s begin…..
Welcome to the ‘Missing Digit Awards’. I, Rahm Emanuel, took the time and energy to come up with these (Beepin’) catagories, although some might think they mirror the ‘Golden Horshoe Awards’ that Rich Miller has.
These are (Beepin’) better. (Beepin’) Understand ME! Better!
‘Cause I (Beepin’) chose you! Now sit the (Many Beeps) down, and lets get started …
First ‘Missing Digit Award’, the ‘(Beep) You, Sue Me!” award goes to …”
“So I thought Speaker Madigan and I were going to discuss the prospects of getting a Chicago casino, but I’m pretty @#&%# sure he taught me how to bake a cake with his hands while he was talking…something like this…”
A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said
They said come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
see him on Masters of Illusion on Wealth TV 4pm est.
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 8:04 pm:
Come on up Axe and get your $&@#% trophy, we’ve got a lot more of these $&@#%ers to give out. (Besides, I wanna get the $&@#% out of here, go home, and watch the Playoffs. No $&@#% Chicago losers there. )
Once again, the “POTUS” for Master Debater Prepper, Round 1, Goes to David Axelrod. Great $&@#% choice.
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:15 pm:
“You people should consider yourselves lucky that I’m granting you an audience tomorrow instead of 20 years from now.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:20 pm:
“This is our land. A land of peace and of plenty. A land of harmony and hope. This is our land. Chicago. These are our people. The workers, the strivers, the builders. These are our people. The builders of our world, struggling, fighting… On the streets of our city … Fighting against the mutilation of our hopes and dreams. Who are they? They are Romney voters …”
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:23 pm:
Rahm-nam Style.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:23 pm:
“Please sit, I can’t use the Jedi Mind Trick unless everyone is looking at the screen”
“I Rahm Emanuel … Welcome you … my loyal, um … you people… please put on the tinfoil hats and look at the screen. you will feel a shock, its normal …”
- Fed up - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:25 pm:
Damn, I’m getiing robbed crime really is out of control in Chicago
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:25 pm:
“Please … please … stay calm … everyone will get cake, there is plenty for everyone.”
- Wensicia - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:27 pm:
Is this a new Apple commercial?
- Skeeter - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:28 pm:
“And our first award goes to … me. And our second award goes to . . . me. Calm down people. It is my city. They are all for me.”
- Deep South - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:29 pm:
And uh one and uh two and uh three……
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:29 pm:
“Can you all hear me … Can. You. Hear. Me? … That better? Ok … now …I will walk everyone through this, but if you get confused, just follow along on the big screen. Now, take out the blank “Absentee Ballot” that you were handed. Now we are going to go over YOUR ballot, and YOUR vote. Remember … do NOT seal your ballot after following my instructions, not until the ‘Row Captain’ … makes sure it looks, um … official …”
- Cheryl44 - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:29 pm:
This is my George Clooney impression. I learned it from Ari.
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:30 pm:
Where’s the young blonde woman swinging a sledgehammer when you really need her?
- ah HA - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:31 pm:
“Settle down people I’m not going to raise your property taxes!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:31 pm:
“Our ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ for his service to the Illinois Democratic Party, especially for the past year, goes to Pat Brady …I know, calm down … sit … yeah, he was ‘Ours’ …Get a clue …Pat Brady, come on up!”
- Will - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:32 pm:
Good news everyone. There’s going to be another screen adaptation of 1984 and they’re filming it in Chicago.
http://www.electrogent.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/1984-screencap-290×290.jpg
- Will - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:32 pm:
I was going for this picture.
http://www.digitaltrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/1984-screencap.jpg
- Team Sleep - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:33 pm:
“Welcome to the first annual George Orwell conference!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:34 pm:
“NOw I’m going to ask this person to stay up here for a bit, he has a few of these awards coming… For ‘Closest to the Pin’, ‘Longest Drive’, ‘Longest Putt’ and “Best Score on a Hole Using One Club’ … I know, I know, everyone chill, sit down… we know he’s good … and you know who this guy is … Tom Cross, congratualtions!”
- Loop Lady - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:36 pm:
-”Oh Lord, kumbaya”-
- OneMan - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:37 pm:
Most at the awards were surprised and confused when they first started hearing that sound, they then realized the microphones were part of the mayor’s Theremin. But once mayor began his 20 minute Theremin solo tribute to Rush they knew it would be best just to enjoy it…
- OneMan - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:38 pm:
He was a surprise choice for most people to give out the Arby’s safety awards
- Pot calling kettle - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:38 pm:
Everyone calm down. That’s not a giant monster behind me, it’s just a projected image!
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:39 pm:
“To Repeat …
Rahm is right … Rahm cares for us…. Rahm cares for Chicago …@#&%# fix the sound … NO, NO, not that one … Again, Rahm is right …”
- Boone's is Back - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:42 pm:
“[I entered this campaign]…with one purpose only, to point out and make public the dishonesty, the downright villainy of Boss Jim W. Gettys’ political machine, now in complete control of the government of this state. I made no campaign promises, because until a few weeks ago, I had no hope of being elected. Now however, I am something more than a hope. Jim Gettys, Jim Gettys has something less than a chance. Every straw vote, every independent poll shows that I’ll be elected. Now I can afford to make some promises. The working man, the working man and the slum child know they can expect my best efforts in their interests. The nation’s ordinary citizens know that I’ll do everything in my power to protect the underprivileged, the underpaid, and the underfed.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:42 pm:
“Hey … hey … HEY! Hey, this ain’t ’soccer in the suburbs, got it! Not everyone is getting an award, so sit the (beep) down, (beepin) clap when you see me clap on the screen behind me, and get the (beep) out when were done. I got things to do, and being here longer than I have to ain’t going to fly … ok, (sigh) ‘First. (Bleepin). Award. Goes to …”
- Pot calling kettle - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:46 pm:
Peter Gabriel comes to mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oj6AsmUAsy8
- gathersno - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:47 pm:
I absolve thee from all thy sins!
- one of the 35 - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:48 pm:
I am the Great and Powerful Oz. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
- jobs - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:48 pm:
so just by my being here, i have created 10…well 9 and 1/2 jobs…at this awards show, which i also brought to chicago
- Anonymice - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:52 pm:
“Hey, this bluescreen stuff is really neat. They can put old clips of the President, the Governor, the CTU leadership, whoever I want, smiling and applauding in the background for whatever I say, and the tv audiences will never know the difference.”
- Judgment Day - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:53 pm:
“I will lay my hands on this pension issue and all will be resolved. With your help and constant devotion to me, we will also be able to raise Rich Miller’s boat from the bottom of Lake Springfield, cure blindness, give Pat Quinn leadership skills, cure deafness, have the Bears win the Super Bowl for this season and next season, cure cancer, have both the Cubs and the White Sox in the playoffs for 2013, cure AIDS, have Pat Quinn not give a ‘State of the State’ speech this year, cure arthritis, have both the Cubs and the White Sox in the World Series for 2014, cure multiple sclerosis, and have an NHL season where the Hawks win the Cup.
Ah, It’s great to be me! Now, where’s my Nobel Prize.”
- Irish - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 1:58 pm:
Ok let’s try that again.
Now when I raise my hands I want ALL the alderman to stand up. The song starts on the first downbeat. And when I point to your section I want you to sing your part. When I raise my hand you sing louder, when I lower it you sing softer.
Ed Burke and his group will sing tenor, Danny Davis and his group will sing bass. Near northside and northside you are alto. Now let’s begin…..
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 2:02 pm:
“Sit … sit … sit … thank you.
Welcome to the ‘Missing Digit Awards’. I, Rahm Emanuel, took the time and energy to come up with these (Beepin’) catagories, although some might think they mirror the ‘Golden Horshoe Awards’ that Rich Miller has.
These are (Beepin’) better. (Beepin’) Understand ME! Better!
‘Cause I (Beepin’) chose you! Now sit the (Many Beeps) down, and lets get started …
First ‘Missing Digit Award’, the ‘(Beep) You, Sue Me!” award goes to …”
- Norseman - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 2:10 pm:
A one and a two …
- And I Approved This Message - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 2:11 pm:
“Klaatu barada nikto.”
- dwb123 - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 2:17 pm:
“I shall now conduct the second rendition of “50-0 Rubber-Stamped Budget in D-Minor”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 2:19 pm:
Taking his cue from televangelists, the Mayor performs the ever popular “Laying on of the
7 1/2 Fingers”
- Give Me A Break - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 2:24 pm:
Gov., Let My People Gamble.
- Feech - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 2:39 pm:
“So I thought Speaker Madigan and I were going to discuss the prospects of getting a Chicago casino, but I’m pretty @#&%# sure he taught me how to bake a cake with his hands while he was talking…something like this…”
- Ucster - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 2:41 pm:
Simma down now!
- Kerfuffle - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 2:49 pm:
I am the mighty puppeteer and you are all just my puppets - destined to do as I bid.
- Lycurgus - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 2:56 pm:
We do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them.
- x ace - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 2:58 pm:
Don’t Shoot !
(Butch , Sundance, and me, we will…..)
- Steve Bartin - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:09 pm:
So many of you used to live in Illinois.
- Soccertease - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:18 pm:
“Peace on all of you.”
- Strobby - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:22 pm:
Put your right foot in , take your left foot out …..
- Professor X - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:23 pm:
Take my hand, and swear eternal loyalty to Zod!
- zatoichi - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:23 pm:
A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said
They said come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
- WazUp - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:26 pm:
“If you think David Blaine is good watch this, I will now shrink the City of Chicago to the size of a Monopoly board.”
- Robert the Bruce - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:28 pm:
“I’m @#&%#* sorry. @#&%#* Joel Osteen couldn’t be here today.”
- Apple - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:33 pm:
Rich, I haven’t been able to open poll cross tabs above. When I click the links, if just refreshes the page. Is it just me?
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:41 pm:
Try again.
- Just Me - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:47 pm:
“Accept your destiny, Kal-El. Even as your father once condemned us, so now do we condemn his misbegotten brat.”
- RNUG - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:48 pm:
I lay my hands on the disadvantaged neighborhoods and the &*&^#&^%%# violence better disappear …
- RNUG - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:49 pm:
Behold the Great Pumpkin …
- Esquire - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:51 pm:
I write the songs that make the whole world sing… I am music and I write the songs.
Barry Manilow performs at the Venue at the Blue Chip Casino, Gary, Indiana
- Apple - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 3:53 pm:
It works now. Thanks.
- 13thone - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 4:06 pm:
Stay calm. All is well.
- 13thone - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 4:08 pm:
eanie meanie jelly beanie the spirits are about to speak.
- just sayin' - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 4:34 pm:
The beatings will continue until morale improves. That is all.
- Anon - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 4:40 pm:
Hey, hey.. that’s the last I want to hear about Obama losing the election
- amalia - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 4:45 pm:
you see they think I’m going this way, but I’m really going the other way. I just have the glass here to distract.
- Commonsense in Illinois - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 4:58 pm:
Rosebud…
- Chicago Cynic - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 5:04 pm:
“Budget, you shall be heeeaaallleeedd!!”
- PublicServant - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 5:34 pm:
Resistance is futile…you will be assimilated
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZEJ4OJTgg8
- DuPage Dave - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 6:56 pm:
With an orchestra like this, who needs a baton?
- railrat - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 7:29 pm:
see him on Masters of Illusion on Wealth TV 4pm est.
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 8:04 pm:
Come on up Axe and get your $&@#% trophy, we’ve got a lot more of these $&@#%ers to give out. (Besides, I wanna get the $&@#% out of here, go home, and watch the Playoffs. No $&@#% Chicago losers there. )
Once again, the “POTUS” for Master Debater Prepper, Round 1, Goes to David Axelrod. Great $&@#% choice.
- Samurai - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 8:44 pm:
I am all-good, all-knowing, all-powerful– The Rahm. Well maybe two out of three ain’t bad.
- du jour - Tuesday, Oct 23, 12 @ 9:59 pm:
“Rahm” Jobs introduces the iPol mini. No matter your special interest, we have an “app” for you (if the price is right).