“I do solemnly swear (or affirm, as the case may be) that I have not fought a duel, nor sent or accepted a challenge to fight a duel, the probable issue of which might have been the death of either party, nor been a second to either party, nor in any manner aided or assisted in such duel …”
(To Statehouse reporters:)
You see, in Illinois we have a separation of powers and co-equal branches of government…that means in addition to me there are four legislative leaders who must weigh in on each issue………
And that, folks, is how a bill becomes law.
At one point in his statement about the need for the other leaders in state government to focus better, Governor Quinn flashed a peace sign to represent the fracking compromise efforts while simultaneously using ASL to sign I Love You first to veterans and then to proud union members. Catching sight of his four upraised fingers he then invented a new four-point plan to address the pension funding crisis and re-emphasized he wasn’t concerned about who he would be running against at the end of his four-year term.
While you all are focusing on his fingers, I couldn’t help but notice the flag pin.
That’s an AMERICAN flag pin, people.
I kept hearing that Quinn is a Godless Communist Intent on Destroying Illinois and Turning it into a Socialist Wasteland (or at least that’s what I read on Illinois Review) but if he’s got a flag pin, that can’t possibly be the case.
“Polls currently show me running in 4th place in the next Democratic Party primary race for Governor behind Lisa Madigan, William Daley, and Sheila Simon.”
“In Illinois, when us Catholics make the sign of the cross, we use the Holy Quad instead of the Holy Trinity. You know, Father, Son, Holy Ghost and Mike Madigan. Even the Vatican is O.K. with it”.
Nobody* expects the Quinn Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise. Our *two* weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Our *three* weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical dedication to the pope. Our *four*… No… Amongst our weapons… Amongst our weaponry are such elements as fear, sur- I’ll come in again.
Yes, Ladies and gentleman our pension crisis is over, Ive now become the newest memeber of the 4 Horseman, Whoooo!
- Joe from Joliet - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:51 am:
I have a four-point plan to bring fiscal solvency back to Illinois, our Illinois: raise taxes on everyone and screw, screw, screw state workers and retirees.
- Josh in Champaign - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:55 am:
“So we’re sitting there in this diner and a guy walks in and orders four fried chickens and a coke! Four!”
“Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan…Wait, when was George Lazenby?”
- C. Montgomery Burns - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:03 am:
My overlords at the Commercial Club of Chicago assure me that State government can be run, in the event of a prolonged strike by the lazy union folk, with just four, count ‘em, four hand picked half bright political hacks. Next question….
I used my 4 votes on the Sports Finance Authority to install the most qualified individual in the universe as director and her declaring bankruptcy to avoid paying her Bloomingdale’s bill says nothing about her financial responsibility or character. It’s all about what’s best for the people of the state.
- Pension is a promise - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:05 am:
When I was a Cub Scout I took the oath with 2 fingers. When I got bigger and was a Boy Scout I took the oath with 3 fingers. I propose all future governors take the oath with 4 fingers. Now Rahm can never be governor heehee.
When I meet with Madigan….just to let him know I am to be taken seriously….I always lay my fingers on the table….sort of like this….then I take my steak knife and jab it into the table between my fingers real fast…..
Inept politicians face a crisis in Illinois. They are facing more exposure by news outlets and challenges from within their own party. Help us keep the status quo. For just four more years or your time, you can be the sponsor of an inept politician. Please won’t you think of the hacks next election season?
- RetiredStateEmployee - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:10 am:
Four thumbs up!
- The unknown poster - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:14 am:
ummm….let’s see…we have Rod, George and ah…oh yeah me…and we need a fourth for bridge.
The 3 constitutional branches of government all believe we are doing great. It’s that 4th branch of government that keeps telling people we’re screwed up. What do they know?
“I pledge my Head to Clearer Thinking, my Heart to Greater Loyalty, my Hands to Larger Service, and my Health to Better Living — for my club, my community, my country and my world.”
“…and that was how I got locked in the stairwell the 4th time.”
- The End Is Near - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:25 am:
“I simply told Lt. Governor Simon that her 5-string banjo wasn’t cutting it; she needed to get a 4-string instrument or find a new job. I explained that there’s just no need for a drone string in a Quinn administration — the people know that I can drone on for hours without one.”
Pat Quinn announces that he has secured four hundred pounds of copper wire by stripping the Capitol Building. Once he unloads the wire, he expects to be able to pay the bills for a few more days. Governor Quinn noted that he was inspired by a recent article he read about Joe Biden.
Unfortunately, Illinois Governers are the only breed that don’t have opposable thumbs. It makes it nearly impossible to hold a pen or otherwise sign legislation.
So the drunk glares at the ventriloquist and responds, “You keep outta this, fella, my beef is with the little guy on your lap.”
It’d be a lot funnier if I had the puppet, but you get the idea.
- NW IL Democrat - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:19 am:
“I’m supporting Lisa Madigan as Attorney General for four more years … I’m endorsing her today for four more years as Attorney General.”
- PatQuinnsBrain - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:21 am:
“To govern a state as great as the Land of Lincoln requires focus. Let me tell you about the one thing I will be focusing on like a laser beam this Spring.”
Everybody said I was daft to build a budget in a swamp.
But I built it all the same, just to show ‘em.
It sank into the swamp, SO, I built a second one.
THAT one sank into the swamp, so, I built a THIRD Budget.
That one burned down, fell over, THEN sank into the swamp, but the FOURTH one… stayed UP.
And THAT’s what you’re gonna get, my laddie: the STRONGEST budget in illinois!
There are 4 ways out of my current job. I could lose the next election 2. I could choose not to run. 3. I could be removed from, office before the next election and 4. uh I forget.
- Just The Way It Is One - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 3:46 pm:
4. Just 4 more years. That’s not much really, is it? Just FOUR. I mean, just ONE year goes by pretty fast, ya know? Plus three, THAT’s it. And, I mean, you all do really get a kick outta following me, (shrugs), ya know, the things I say, propose, ‘n stuff like that, dontcha? Ok, so I’m BORing sometimes because I beLIEVE in clean Government–I know, I know we’re not perfect–far FROM it–we propose the right things, ‘n then all this game-playing, ‘n NAYsaying, meandering, and SheNANigans start up, but, hey, at least I’m not corrupt, and I’m tryin’, and what more these days can ya really ask for in the Land of Lincoln? Cmon’,really…it’s just 4…1-2-3-4–’n then BING, it’s gone–ya know, it’s uh, it’s like bang, bang,pow, shoot, like 4 quick shots on goal at a Blackhawks’ game, and, it’ll all be over so fast, you’ll hardly know what hit ya. Please? Cuz’ really, it’s just that many…
- Left of Central IL - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 4:10 pm:
“Let me tell ya, I was staying at Motel 6 when it was only 4 dollars.”
Four More, Four More, Four More…(now to the tune of the Hall and Oates song…Baby come back (Sheila Simon), you can blame it all on me, I was wrong and I just can’t live win without you).
Major sports teams in Chicago? Let’s see… Bulls, Bears, Blackhawks, and Sox. Yep. That’s it. No, wait! How could I be so dumb. The Fire. I forgot the Fire!
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 6:10 pm:
Note to Northern Lights: Baby Come Back was not a Hall & Oates song, but thanks for planting it in my head.
To the Post: Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn (D-Chicago) reacts after being asked by a reporter to rate Seth MacFarlane’s performance as host of the Academy Awards.
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 6:14 pm:
Fumigate? Sure We Did! Let me count all the people who got fumigated. One, two, three…..done! Told you!
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 6:20 pm:
I have put forward at least FIVE, count them, FIVE, perfectly good pension reform plans and I’m getting tired of hearing that “the numbers don’t work.” I’m standing here right now and saying to my critics, “give me some proof that Pat Quinn’s math is no good!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:08 am:
“On my last Fly-Around, I found 4 … FOUR … voters who would vote for me, again”
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:09 am:
“Point number three…”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:09 am:
“I can count, comfortably, 4 members of the General Assembly that will take a picture with me for their campaigns.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:10 am:
“Easy. John, Paul, George, Ringo. Four Beatles.”
- Realist - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:10 am:
“There are 5 reasons why I have brought you here today”
- kikistal - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:11 am:
“I was sitting at a table of 5 and 4 people said Pat Quinn is the worst governor in history. I was undecided.”
- cermak_rd - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:11 am:
The governor attempts to pander to Star Trek fans by giving the Vulcan salute
- siyotanka - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:11 am:
By the time I’m through…we’ll have four, count em, four, Executive branches of Government! Mr. thumby doesn’t count!
- Anonymour - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:11 am:
There are FOUR tops in the General Assembly. I try to work with all of them. Why do you keep telling me there’s only UNO?
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:11 am:
“How many days will I stay at the Mansion this session? These many days….”
- James the Intolerant - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:12 am:
I said it would take me FOUR lifetimes to straighten out the pension mess!
- The Captain - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:13 am:
“My plan will balance the budget and pay down the unpaid bill backlog in two years!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:14 am:
“I tried to call Speaker Madigan to apologize about the ‘Lisa’ thing and he has yet to call me back. Look, I called him 4 times, that’s allota times.”
- Spliff - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:14 am:
I keep four pairs of Jockey’s in the mansion …
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:15 am:
“Penn State twice, Nebraska, and …um… Iowa! Yep, 4 Northwestern Big Ten wins … got em’…”
- RetiredStateEmployee - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:15 am:
I have tried four times to get to Springfield, haven’t made it yet!
- Aldyth - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:16 am:
“Five dollars. Five dollars. Five dollar footlong.”
See, I told you Illinois arithmetic is different.
- Cincinnatus - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:16 am:
“I do solemnly swear (or affirm, as the case may be) that I have not fought a duel, nor sent or accepted a challenge to fight a duel, the probable issue of which might have been the death of either party, nor been a second to either party, nor in any manner aided or assisted in such duel …”
- Anonymoose - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:16 am:
My politics is like the childhood game of “rocks, paper, scissors” and it can be brutal - and for proof, just look at my self-inflicted “paper” cuts…
- Wensicia - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:18 am:
“Contrary to gossip, I DO have opposable thumbs!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:20 am:
“I can win 4 counties, and STILL be governor. Counties don’t vote!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:21 am:
“Otto Kerner, Dan Walker, Rod .. and George Ryan…”
- Mason born - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:22 am:
Four more years!! Please c’mon people 4 more years!! c’mon chant it with me!! What can’t anyone speak???
- DemDownstater - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:22 am:
(To Statehouse reporters:)
You see, in Illinois we have a separation of powers and co-equal branches of government…that means in addition to me there are four legislative leaders who must weigh in on each issue………
And that, folks, is how a bill becomes law.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:23 am:
“I have 4 season tickets to the White Sox for the first legislator that will be my Floor Leader of their chamber …”
- zatoichi - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:25 am:
No, no. You include Shemp? That makes Four.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:25 am:
“Honestly … Rahm … can’t do … THIS!”
- WazUp - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:25 am:
“There are five points I would like to make..”
- Shemp - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:25 am:
We have, four, yes four dollars left in the coffers.
- OneMan - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:26 am:
that is why it is called a forehead, because you can put four fingers above the eyebrows before you hit hair or two hands of four in my case.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:26 am:
“I got 4, who is the White Sox’s 5th starter?”
- Montrose - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:26 am:
Look! I am Wolverine! Raaar!
- Frenchie Mendoza - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:27 am:
“… and if you go like this, it just disappears. Then I’ve only got four fingers!”
- OneMan - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:28 am:
Wow Cincinnatus a reference to a Virginia law from 1848,
I doff my cap to you good sir.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:30 am:
“How many times do we pass the ball??? FOUR!”
- train111 - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:31 am:
Four–the number of half empty ketchup bottles in my refrigerator.
train111
- lincolnlover - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:32 am:
And this little piggy went wee-wee-wee… all the way home.
- phocion - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:35 am:
“I can never get my fingers to do that ‘Live Long and Prosper’ thing right.”
- Earnest - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:36 am:
At one point in his statement about the need for the other leaders in state government to focus better, Governor Quinn flashed a peace sign to represent the fracking compromise efforts while simultaneously using ASL to sign I Love You first to veterans and then to proud union members. Catching sight of his four upraised fingers he then invented a new four-point plan to address the pension funding crisis and re-emphasized he wasn’t concerned about who he would be running against at the end of his four-year term.
- the Patriot - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:36 am:
“Say what you want about my re-election odds, but count em, the number of democrats who voted for someone else the last time!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:37 am:
“Madigan, Cullerton, Currie, and Clayborne, … the ‘Four Tops’ … right?”
- Steve Earle - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:38 am:
On my next birfday, I will be this many
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:38 am:
my chances of re-election 4 in 12 million
- Old Shepherd - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:38 am:
“One is the loneliest number.”
- Skeeter - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:39 am:
While you all are focusing on his fingers, I couldn’t help but notice the flag pin.
That’s an AMERICAN flag pin, people.
I kept hearing that Quinn is a Godless Communist Intent on Destroying Illinois and Turning it into a Socialist Wasteland (or at least that’s what I read on Illinois Review) but if he’s got a flag pin, that can’t possibly be the case.
GO QUINN! USA! USA! USA!
- BleugrassBoy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:39 am:
“Polls currently show me running in 4th place in the next Democratic Party primary race for Governor behind Lisa Madigan, William Daley, and Sheila Simon.”
- re-elect me - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:39 am:
I only have 4 active brain cells working at one time
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:40 am:
“You want … four … reasons I should be re-elected? Can I have a minute?”
- GOP - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:40 am:
Pretty please, Lisa. Please ask your Dad if I can have just four more years. Pretty please.
- Down South - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:43 am:
I was in Cross’s office and he yelled four at me. That golf ball could have hit me.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:44 am:
“I told Cross, ‘1′ off the tee, ‘2′ from the sand, ‘3′ on the green, ‘4′ in, I got a ‘4′!”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:46 am:
I’m a quadropol….etician
- Tsavo - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:46 am:
“In Illinois, when us Catholics make the sign of the cross, we use the Holy Quad instead of the Holy Trinity. You know, Father, Son, Holy Ghost and Mike Madigan. Even the Vatican is O.K. with it”.
- C-U Kev - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:46 am:
“Four years. I’ve been doing this job for four years. Can you believe I’ve survived for this long!?”
- Darienite - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:48 am:
Yes I own only four ties - why you ask?
- unionyes1 - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:50 am:
Let me repeat, 1 plus 2 equals 4.
- Spiney Norman - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:51 am:
Nobody* expects the Quinn Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise. Our *two* weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Our *three* weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical dedication to the pope. Our *four*… No… Amongst our weapons… Amongst our weaponry are such elements as fear, sur- I’ll come in again.
- AFSCME Steward - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:51 am:
I predict that if 2 people run against me in the democratic primary I will finish 4th.
- 67blues - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:51 am:
Yes, Ladies and gentleman our pension crisis is over, Ive now become the newest memeber of the 4 Horseman, Whoooo!
- Joe from Joliet - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:51 am:
I have a four-point plan to bring fiscal solvency back to Illinois, our Illinois: raise taxes on everyone and screw, screw, screw state workers and retirees.
- Josh in Champaign - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:55 am:
“So we’re sitting there in this diner and a guy walks in and orders four fried chickens and a coke! Four!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:55 am:
“Mon-day, Tues-Day, Turs-day, Wens-day …”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:01 am:
“Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan…Wait, when was George Lazenby?”
- C. Montgomery Burns - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:03 am:
My overlords at the Commercial Club of Chicago assure me that State government can be run, in the event of a prolonged strike by the lazy union folk, with just four, count ‘em, four hand picked half bright political hacks. Next question….
- BIG R. PH. - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:03 am:
Four score and seven years ago we were actually a respected State!
- Carlos S. - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:04 am:
I used my 4 votes on the Sports Finance Authority to install the most qualified individual in the universe as director and her declaring bankruptcy to avoid paying her Bloomingdale’s bill says nothing about her financial responsibility or character. It’s all about what’s best for the people of the state.
- Pension is a promise - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:05 am:
I was four when I knew I wanted to be Governor
- Casual Observer - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:05 am:
When I was a Cub Scout I took the oath with 2 fingers. When I got bigger and was a Boy Scout I took the oath with 3 fingers. I propose all future governors take the oath with 4 fingers. Now Rahm can never be governor heehee.
- t - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:06 am:
I my thunk 4 my IQ
- Roadiepig - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:06 am:
My new Vulcan greeting to state retirees- “Live short and prosper very little”
- John A Logan - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:09 am:
When I meet with Madigan….just to let him know I am to be taken seriously….I always lay my fingers on the table….sort of like this….then I take my steak knife and jab it into the table between my fingers real fast…..
- Blue Dog - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:09 am:
Inept politicians face a crisis in Illinois. They are facing more exposure by news outlets and challenges from within their own party. Help us keep the status quo. For just four more years or your time, you can be the sponsor of an inept politician. Please won’t you think of the hacks next election season?
- RetiredStateEmployee - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:10 am:
Four thumbs up!
- The unknown poster - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:14 am:
ummm….let’s see…we have Rod, George and ah…oh yeah me…and we need a fourth for bridge.
- Casual Observer - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:15 am:
The 3 constitutional branches of government all believe we are doing great. It’s that 4th branch of government that keeps telling people we’re screwed up. What do they know?
- MrJM - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:17 am:
“I pledge my Head to Clearer Thinking, my Heart to Greater Loyalty, my Hands to Larger Service, and my Health to Better Living — for my club, my community, my country and my world.”
– MrJM
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:17 am:
“Lincoln, Grant, Reagan, and Obama … 4 Presidents with Illinois roots…you can’t beat me on Illinois Trivia …”
- The unknown poster - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:17 am:
I know I can get 4 state employees to vote for me next time, I just know it.
- m&m's - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:18 am:
“Our Illinois State Government is as TRANSPARENT as the three fingers I’m holding up”
- jericho - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:20 am:
I swear to tell the truth. (thumb cross, it doesn’t count)
- Old Shepherd - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:22 am:
“Unce…tice…fee times a mady.”
- RNUG - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:22 am:
Name four governors worse than me?
That’s easy … Kerner, Walker, Ryan, Blagejevich …
- How Ironic - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:23 am:
Listen people, we can beat Squeezy with the ‘Pension Claw’. I’ve got people working on the bill now.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:24 am:
“I’m going to change it up a bit, instead of leaving 3 envelopes in the desk for my successor,… I am going to leave a 4th envelope …”
- red - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:25 am:
“…and that was how I got locked in the stairwell the 4th time.”
- The End Is Near - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:25 am:
“I simply told Lt. Governor Simon that her 5-string banjo wasn’t cutting it; she needed to get a 4-string instrument or find a new job. I explained that there’s just no need for a drone string in a Quinn administration — the people know that I can drone on for hours without one.”
- RNUG - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:26 am:
Hablo Espanolo? Si. Uno, Dos, Tees, Cuarto
- RNUG - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:27 am:
Tres …
- In_The_Middle - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:28 am:
“I’m giving all state employees a 4 percent raise every year that I’m still the governor.”
- Skeeter - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:31 am:
Now I just noticed he is not wearing an Illinois flag pin.
Why does our Gov. hate Illinois?
Those Illinois Review people were right! And I don’t just mean “far right.” I mean “right” like “correct.” They are on to him!
- justgladtobehere - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:54 am:
I own four ties. I wear this one everyday, but I really do own four ties.
- George - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:55 am:
I’ve only been Governor four years — it just seems longer.
- Shore - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 10:56 am:
To paraphrase jay-z. “I got 99 problems and 4 more years ain’t one.”
- Left of Central IL - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:01 am:
“So from across the room, I waved to Bill Brady and mouthed ‘4 more years.’ He waved back with one finger but I coudn’t make out what he was saying.”
- jerry 101 - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:03 am:
Pat Quinn announces that he has secured four hundred pounds of copper wire by stripping the Capitol Building. Once he unloads the wire, he expects to be able to pay the bills for a few more days. Governor Quinn noted that he was inspired by a recent article he read about Joe Biden.
- jaranath - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:04 am:
“I can haz four moar years?”
- dupage dan - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:06 am:
Unfortunately, Illinois Governers are the only breed that don’t have opposable thumbs. It makes it nearly impossible to hold a pen or otherwise sign legislation.
- SangamoGOP - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:09 am:
My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man.
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:16 am:
So the drunk glares at the ventriloquist and responds, “You keep outta this, fella, my beef is with the little guy on your lap.”
It’d be a lot funnier if I had the puppet, but you get the idea.
- NW IL Democrat - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:19 am:
“I’m supporting Lisa Madigan as Attorney General for four more years … I’m endorsing her today for four more years as Attorney General.”
- PatQuinnsBrain - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:21 am:
“To govern a state as great as the Land of Lincoln requires focus. Let me tell you about the one thing I will be focusing on like a laser beam this Spring.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:23 am:
100+
Well done, all.
- ChicagoDem - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:28 am:
“Remember it takes four to screw the state of Illinois in more ways than you can imagine… Madigan, Cullerton, and myself…I count for two.”
- anon - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:32 am:
I said three, count ‘em, three….
- NeveroddoreveN - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:33 am:
Governor Quinn’s version of Scouts Honor
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:34 am:
“The Rathskeller asked me to announce their version of the ‘$5 foot long’ sandwich … wait … is now $4!”
- The Mad Hatter - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:54 am:
I swear my IQ is five.
- BentheDem - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 11:57 am:
In light of our success of Squeezy, I’d like to present Randy the Revenue Rabbit. You’re welcome.
- Lil Enchilada - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 12:00 pm:
I’m only gonna pay $4 for an 11-inch footlong.
- Pardon - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 12:14 pm:
Four sunday pressers, every four weeks, or I’m coming out with another cartoon snake… Maybe a cobra.
- Louis Howe - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 12:19 pm:
Quinn…”The only thing you have to fear is four more years.”
- Newsclown - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 12:31 pm:
Everybody said I was daft to build a budget in a swamp.
But I built it all the same, just to show ‘em.
It sank into the swamp, SO, I built a second one.
THAT one sank into the swamp, so, I built a THIRD Budget.
That one burned down, fell over, THEN sank into the swamp, but the FOURTH one… stayed UP.
And THAT’s what you’re gonna get, my laddie: the STRONGEST budget in illinois!
- stever - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 12:54 pm:
It’s the universal symbol for cartoon character solidarity. Toon power!
- Muffin Man - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 1:02 pm:
And that was when Mike Madigan grabbed my right thumb and bent it backwards until I agreed to what he wanted by crying out “Uncle!”
- Obamas Puppy - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 1:17 pm:
This is how many votes I will against Lisa in a Dem primary.
- WazUp - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 1:28 pm:
The Gov goes on another incoherent ramble:
“Four degrees of separation..let’s see, uh hearing, smell, taste and uh ..oh darn that Rick Perry is in my head again!”
- Meaningless - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 1:34 pm:
2+2=4 “Don’t tell me I don’t have the math skills to fix the pension funding problem!”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 1:55 pm:
I’m holding out for a $4 foot-long.
- sal-says - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 2:05 pm:
- Joe from Joliet - Just perfect & probably truer than we could imagine.
- inker - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 2:07 pm:
There is only one thing the Union needs to know:
“Three strikes means you are out”.
- Joe Bidenopoulous - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 2:32 pm:
“Four. That’s how many terms THompson served? Beating that record shouldn’t be a problem.”
- Nosmo King - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 2:46 pm:
“And when I put my hand to the light, the shadow will look just like a turkey.”
- Kerfuffle - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 3:04 pm:
There are 4 ways out of my current job. I could lose the next election 2. I could choose not to run. 3. I could be removed from, office before the next election and 4. uh I forget.
- Really??? - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 3:24 pm:
Who needs opposable thumbs for this gig?
- Just The Way It Is One - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 3:46 pm:
4. Just 4 more years. That’s not much really, is it? Just FOUR. I mean, just ONE year goes by pretty fast, ya know? Plus three, THAT’s it. And, I mean, you all do really get a kick outta following me, (shrugs), ya know, the things I say, propose, ‘n stuff like that, dontcha? Ok, so I’m BORing sometimes because I beLIEVE in clean Government–I know, I know we’re not perfect–far FROM it–we propose the right things, ‘n then all this game-playing, ‘n NAYsaying, meandering, and SheNANigans start up, but, hey, at least I’m not corrupt, and I’m tryin’, and what more these days can ya really ask for in the Land of Lincoln? Cmon’,really…it’s just 4…1-2-3-4–’n then BING, it’s gone–ya know, it’s uh, it’s like bang, bang,pow, shoot, like 4 quick shots on goal at a Blackhawks’ game, and, it’ll all be over so fast, you’ll hardly know what hit ya. Please? Cuz’ really, it’s just that many…
- Left of Central IL - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 4:10 pm:
“Let me tell ya, I was staying at Motel 6 when it was only 4 dollars.”
- Northern Light - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 4:32 pm:
Four More, Four More, Four More…(now to the tune of the Hall and Oates song…Baby come back (Sheila Simon), you can blame it all on me, I was wrong and I just can’t live win without you).
- Du Jour - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 5:41 pm:
Major sports teams in Chicago? Let’s see… Bulls, Bears, Blackhawks, and Sox. Yep. That’s it. No, wait! How could I be so dumb. The Fire. I forgot the Fire!
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 6:10 pm:
Note to Northern Lights: Baby Come Back was not a Hall & Oates song, but thanks for planting it in my head.
To the Post: Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn (D-Chicago) reacts after being asked by a reporter to rate Seth MacFarlane’s performance as host of the Academy Awards.
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 6:14 pm:
Fumigate? Sure We Did! Let me count all the people who got fumigated. One, two, three…..done! Told you!
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 6:20 pm:
I have put forward at least FIVE, count them, FIVE, perfectly good pension reform plans and I’m getting tired of hearing that “the numbers don’t work.” I’m standing here right now and saying to my critics, “give me some proof that Pat Quinn’s math is no good!”
- Oldtimer - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 6:55 pm:
The number of friends I have left in Illinois politics
- IllinoisNative - Tuesday, Feb 26, 13 @ 9:41 pm:
“For the third time, I do not like being called a potato head.”
- Harry - Wednesday, Feb 27, 13 @ 7:47 am:
“Let me expain again my FIVE POINT PLAN.”