Dear God: As your humble servant I beseech thee to show me a burning bill that will reveal your true direction on this pension problem. Of if you are too busy, please smite Henry Bayer that he might know the Speaker’s plan is your annointed pension solution.
A Prayer to St. Jude for Hope
God of hope, come to me. Help me to know that your hope is alive in me as I offer kindness, forgiveness and tenderness to others.
I seek the inner calm that comes from trusting in you. Give me the courage to be aware of your healing presence.
May I trust that St. Jude walks with me in times of trouble, and intercedes on my behalf.
St.Jude, fill my heart with hope.
Amen
Hail Madigan, full of grace. The Lord is thee.
Blessed art thou amongst Illinoisans,
and blessed is the fruit of thine, Lisa.
Holy Madigan, Mother of AG,
pray for us senators,
now and at the hour of our special session. Amen.
- Small Town Liberal - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:40 pm:
Mike, I was the only one who passed a pension bill with union support. Nobody else could pass one except me. You know how I did it? Every time I put the bill to a vote I said a Hail Mary and every time I said a Hail Mary I passed a bill. You believe that? It’s true, that’s the secret. You wanna try it when we go out on the lake?
As yet again another session ended is disappointment for some, sadness for some, joy for others. All the Senate President wanted to do was put on some comfy sweatpants, turn on some folk music and read some poetry…
“20 Our Fathers and 20 Hail Marys for pennance!! I’ll bet Madigan got half of that. And Quinn, he should be making a Novena in Fatima. Well better start - Our Father who art in …. who’s the aide in the mini skirt?….Damn, gotta start over; Our…”
“It’s times like this I’d rather have a cold one with Jimmy DeLeo at Tavern on Rush. What’s happened to Illinois State government? It used to be so much fun when the ratings agencies didn’t notice us so much.”
“I wish I was one of the 19. Nobody blames the 19. The Tribune doesn’t blame the 19. Madigan doesn’t blame the 19. Why can’t I be one of the 19? Nice paycheck, nice office, no worries. The 19 have it made.”
“Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, don’t even know a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent. We just thank you for all the races I’ve won and the $21.2 million dollars… LOVE THAT MONEY, that I have accrued over this past season…”
So Mike, let me get this straight, i look bad on the pension stuff, quinn looks bad on everything, harris takes the heat for the marrage thing & you get accolades from big business & republicans and your daughter gets to be governor? Awesome, I’m in.
- Cook County Commoner - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:26 pm:
Just because it was my day to bring treats and I forgot they are making me sit back here (sigh) think I can have someone go over to that triangle shaped doughnut place by Golden Corral?
How about getting everyone Golden Corral gift cards, nothing says end of session like a buffet…
“No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.”
- billcollectors84 - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:40 pm:
Please God, let there be a living hell for Michael Madigan.
You know, I used to have friends I didn’t have to pay for. Now I have this…. I don’t have a sack, maybe if I breath though my hands I won’t hyperventilate!
Thought bubble:
(Okay that’s Clayborne . . . but who is that guy next to him? . . . he looks like that Republican staffer, no wait. He’s a member. Someone in my caucus!! what is that guy’s name?)
“If hold the mosquito inside, it might bite me. If I let it go, it might bite someone else. If I kill the mosquito, I might go to hell. Pensions can wait people. I’ve got a real dilemma here!!!”
- Holdingontomywallet - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:51 pm:
“If we had a super, super, supermajority, it would have passed.”
- Reformed Public Servant - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:03 pm:
Dear God, it’s me Johnny. I’ve been a good servant. I’m not praying for anything to happen…, but how much longer until I run the Show?
Oh…and if you could keep this between me and You, I’d appreciate it! You know how “He” gets.
- U of I state employee - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:04 pm:
“Can’t we all just agree. I’m really tired of trying to fix Madigan’s screw ups.”
” If I could just figure out how to tax Apple’s money in Ireland for IL. I’d be a genius and solve our revenue problems. A fee might do it, yah, make them pay a fee when they don’t pay taxes.”
“Ok, lets think about this again; Mike says ‘no vote’ to My Bill, I got the senate to vote on my Bill, and pass it … Start over … My passed Bill gets to the House … Mike… what does Mike do… Vote? …No, too easy, … No, sit on it …No … Adjourns? …Ok, let’s say he adjours, then what? … do I give a statement? … yeah, but what do I say … can’t whine … think Cullerton, think … Mike adjourns, I give a statement, ignore that ‘leadership’ crack …’High Road’…right? …’High Road’…. pensions …. pensions …. and where is Quinn? … Quinn doesn’t think things out like this, (explitive)… Deep breath, start over … Senate passes my Bill, goes to the House …”
“Do I say to Mike, ‘Vote the Bill, eat the Cannoli’… ‘Pass my Bill, leave a Cannoli’… Eat a Cannoli as you Pass my Bill’?…’Adjourn the House, buy a Cannoil’? ‘Adjourn the Cannoli, Pass the Bill’?…no, think …”
(Pause)
‘Do you like Apples? I just ate a Cannoil, Pass my Bill’…”
- Not Rollo Tomasi - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:37 pm:
God do my hemorrhoids hurt and Quinn wants to talk to me when we adjourn.
Our Madigan, who art in the House,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy legislature tries,
but only fails and cries,
both in the Senate and in the House
Give us this day our daily per diem.
And give us our contributions,
as we prepare for those who campaign against us.
And lead us not into more debt,
but deliver us from spending.
For thine is Illinois politics and unless it changes a state in declining glory for ever and ever. Amen
But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of Madigan: is he the sort of man who would put the poison pill into his own pension reform bill or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison pill into his own bill, because he would know that only a great fool would pass what the House sent over. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the bill the House passed. But he must have known I was not a great fool, he would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the bill in front of me.
Our Speaker in the Senate,
Madigan be your name.
Your bills come,
your bills will be done,
in the Senate, as it is in the House.
Give us this committee our daily opportunity to speak,
and forgive us our debts that we build,
as we also have taken money from many union lobbyists.
And lead us far into temptation,
and deliver us from doing the people’s will.
Lord, I pray that you make me the equal of Mike Madigan in every way related to leading this state, with the exception of maturity, because I am thankful that I have been shown the path toward behaving like an adult.
Think back … way back. There has to be something there I can use to get the upper hand just this one time; I just wish it wasn’t so hard to remember these days.
I’m an editor these days; I thought the meter needed a bit of work …
Our Madigan, who art in the House,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy legislation tries,
but only dies,
in the Senate and in the House
Give us this day our daily per diem.
And forgive the state debt,
Lead us not into borrowing,
and deliver us from downgrades.
For Illinois is thine kingdom,
where you reign with power for ever and ever.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things the Speaker won’t change;
a courageous staff attorney suggest changes anyway;
and wisdom to do the opposite of whatever Quinn says.”
Speaker Hamlet peeks around the corner wondering if he should kill the bill while its sponsor is praying, lest it go to heaven thereby ruining his revenge.
- Just The Way It Is One - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 8:03 pm:
“God,like George Bailey once told ya…even though I know he and Clarence are/were, ya know, fake fictitious characters…I’m not a PRAYing Man, but, I’m at the end of my rope..please help me–I’ve (actually WE’ve, ya know, legislators and Governors for decades and decades, somehow lost almost a 100 BILlion dollars on pensions, and misplaced it somehow, and need to make it up…can ya HELP me Lord?” At this point, the worried and compassionate legislator in front of him (Ira Silverstein per chance??) turns to him and asks him if he’s alright and needs any help–by name–and that he really shouldn’t wimper like that in Public. Then an infuriated Madigan just so happens to start to walk by at that instant and overhears that this prayin’ fella is John CULlerton and slams him with a hard punch to the jaw, blurting, John CULlerton, ey?! Well that’s the LAST time you treat my House Members like that after we SLAVED to teach those child-like, naive Representatives about my pension brilliance and to pass a respectable pension bill–and THAT’S how ya TREAT us? By voting it DOWN?! Why, we cried for an HOUR when we heard how you did that to us!! John CULlerton, hrumph!! (as the Conference Chair insists the Speaker be removed and the Seargant-at-Arms and assistants are shoving Madigan out of and through the Conference room doors…)!
In a quiet moment The Senate President realized, in large part since all the interesting stuff happens during the last week of session, perhaps next time he will just come down for the last week…
- Ravenswood Right Winger - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:25 pm:
“God, deliver me from thy fools which surround me. Oh, and deliver a horseshoe sandwich forthwith.”
- titan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:28 pm:
“Oh Lord, please don’t let this all blow up on me…I’m tired of fetching MJM’s dry cleaning.”
- MrJM - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:30 pm:
“Namaste.”
– MrJM
- Give Me A Break - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:33 pm:
Dear God: As your humble servant I beseech thee to show me a burning bill that will reveal your true direction on this pension problem. Of if you are too busy, please smite Henry Bayer that he might know the Speaker’s plan is your annointed pension solution.
- Steven Williams - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:35 pm:
“Thank you God for the IL GOP!”
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:37 pm:
happy place, happy place
- In the know - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:37 pm:
A Prayer to St. Jude for Hope
God of hope, come to me. Help me to know that your hope is alive in me as I offer kindness, forgiveness and tenderness to others.
I seek the inner calm that comes from trusting in you. Give me the courage to be aware of your healing presence.
May I trust that St. Jude walks with me in times of trouble, and intercedes on my behalf.
St.Jude, fill my heart with hope.
Amen
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:38 pm:
Sometimes when I get nervous I put my hands in my armpits then sniff them like this…
Superstar…
- TCB - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:38 pm:
Hail Madigan, full of grace. The Lord is thee.
Blessed art thou amongst Illinoisans,
and blessed is the fruit of thine, Lisa.
Holy Madigan, Mother of AG,
pray for us senators,
now and at the hour of our special session. Amen.
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:39 pm:
It turns out using your hands to re-create the teacher voice from Peanuts did not break the stalemate.
- Spliff - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:39 pm:
My god Ira rambles!
- Small Town Liberal - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:40 pm:
Mike, I was the only one who passed a pension bill with union support. Nobody else could pass one except me. You know how I did it? Every time I put the bill to a vote I said a Hail Mary and every time I said a Hail Mary I passed a bill. You believe that? It’s true, that’s the secret. You wanna try it when we go out on the lake?
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:40 pm:
“Speaker Michael J. Madigan, do you renounce Satan?”
“I do renounce him”
“…and all of his empty promises?”
“I do renounce them”
- Commonsense in Illinois - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:41 pm:
I could be billing at $700 an hour…but no, I had to tell Old Man Daley, sure, I’ll run…what could possibly go wrong…$700 an hour…
- Todd - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:42 pm:
If I have to listen to Todd say one fundamental right one more time, I’m gonna jam a pencil in my ear.
- Tsavo - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:42 pm:
If I don’t make eye contact, the guy in the red tie will never know I drank his bottled water.
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:43 pm:
As yet again another session ended is disappointment for some, sadness for some, joy for others. All the Senate President wanted to do was put on some comfy sweatpants, turn on some folk music and read some poetry…
- too obvious - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:43 pm:
Dear Lord, please, please, please, please don’t let Mike come walking in that door.
- Stones - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:45 pm:
- Sometimes when I get nervous I put my hands in my armpits then sniff them like this…
Superstar…
OneMan beat me to the punch with this one…..
- other dude - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:46 pm:
lawyers, guns & money, everytime.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:47 pm:
“Please, please, let McCarter or Oberweis speak against this Bill … please, Heaven above …”
- The Captain - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:47 pm:
“Did I leave the iron on?”
- This Guy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:47 pm:
“- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:38 pm:
Sometimes when I get nervous I put my hands in my armpits then sniff them like this…
Superstar…”
Bravo, OneMan. Bravo.
- Chicago Cynic - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:47 pm:
“Madigan adjourned the House before us again? Noooooooooo!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:49 pm:
“Oh no…’Vote Countula’!… Please, please let her Math be good this time …PLEASE!”
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:49 pm:
I just hope Mike finds that cell phone I gave him as an end of session gift…
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:50 pm:
I just put a blade of grass between my thumbs and…raspberries!
- D P Gumby - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:51 pm:
“Open the doors, where are the people?”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:54 pm:
“B-11….11 under the ‘B’ ….”
“N-42 …4-2…under the ‘N’ …”
“G-55 ….5-5…under the ‘G’ …”
- Bill White - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:56 pm:
Draw or fold? How am I ever going to beat two nice pair and a joker?
https://capitolfax.com/2013/04/12/question-of-the-day-1570/
- Darienite - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 1:59 pm:
“20 Our Fathers and 20 Hail Marys for pennance!! I’ll bet Madigan got half of that. And Quinn, he should be making a Novena in Fatima. Well better start - Our Father who art in …. who’s the aide in the mini skirt?….Damn, gotta start over; Our…”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:01 pm:
How many times have I told Silverstein not to text while legislating!
- BIG R. Ph. - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:06 pm:
“We are sooo screwed!”
- Steve - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:06 pm:
“It’s times like this I’d rather have a cold one with Jimmy DeLeo at Tavern on Rush. What’s happened to Illinois State government? It used to be so much fun when the ratings agencies didn’t notice us so much.”
- Been There - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:07 pm:
So a Methodist, a Catholic and a Jew are all in a room…… And I will stop right there so I don’t get banned.
- HenryVK - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:08 pm:
“I wish I was one of the 19. Nobody blames the 19. The Tribune doesn’t blame the 19. Madigan doesn’t blame the 19. Why can’t I be one of the 19? Nice paycheck, nice office, no worries. The 19 have it made.”
- Casual Observer - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:09 pm:
If I hold my hands just right nobody can see my kazoo.
- I don't want to live in Teabagistan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:13 pm:
Cullerton: God, make my enemies look ridiculous.
God: Granted
–a paraphrase of Voltaire
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:14 pm:
Cullerton: “Dear Father in heaven, I’m not a praying man, but if you’re up there and you can hear me…
[begins crying]
Cullerton: “…show me the way… show me the way.”
(Voting ‘Bell’ Dings)
Harmon: “Get me, I’m giving out wings!”
- Sgt Schultz - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:14 pm:
“Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, don’t even know a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent. We just thank you for all the races I’ve won and the $21.2 million dollars… LOVE THAT MONEY, that I have accrued over this past season…”
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:16 pm:
Wonder what Rod is doing right now…
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:20 pm:
Wonder what the status is of my secret tunnel in the remodel? Looking forward to using the secret tunnel.
- David W. Aubrey - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:21 pm:
“Hawk Harrelson says the return of Gordon Beckham will end this free fall. I so want to believe it!”
- Alex - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:23 pm:
This. Just. Stinks.
- roger that - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:23 pm:
So Mike, let me get this straight, i look bad on the pension stuff, quinn looks bad on everything, harris takes the heat for the marrage thing & you get accolades from big business & republicans and your daughter gets to be governor? Awesome, I’m in.
- Cook County Commoner - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:26 pm:
If I short Illinois bonds I could clean up.
- Joe M - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:27 pm:
I wish I was a ventriloquist. But maybe if say “that darn Madigan” through my hands people will think it came from one of those guys in front of me.
- Down South - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:27 pm:
What would Pate do?
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:28 pm:
“Lord, forgive them. They know not what they do …”
- nobody - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:29 pm:
“Every time I put my line in the water I said a Hail Mary, and every time I said a Hail Mary I caught a fish…….”
We all know what happened next
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:29 pm:
“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”
- Ahoy! - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:30 pm:
“why do my hands smell like cheese?”
- Beardo - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:30 pm:
Legislators react to another Chairman Harmon joke attempt.
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:33 pm:
Man I could go for some Nachos right now.
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:35 pm:
Just because it was my day to bring treats and I forgot they are making me sit back here (sigh) think I can have someone go over to that triangle shaped doughnut place by Golden Corral?
How about getting everyone Golden Corral gift cards, nothing says end of session like a buffet…
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:36 pm:
President Cullerton learns that while God answers all prayer, he does not answer all prayer with a yes…
- HenryVK - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:37 pm:
“No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.”
- billcollectors84 - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:40 pm:
Please God, let there be a living hell for Michael Madigan.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:40 pm:
SERENITY NOW, SERENITY NOW
- Sandy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:41 pm:
“I can’t let Ira beat my score in Candy Crush! Must. End. Session. Now!”
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:42 pm:
“I’m sure glad we never banned prayer …”
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:42 pm:
This is all Miller’s fault, Madigan was right him and that damn Oscar, distracting everyone with his cuteness…
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:43 pm:
Have to remember to tell Mike about the meeting on Tuesday…
- Exhausted - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:43 pm:
You know, I used to have friends I didn’t have to pay for. Now I have this…. I don’t have a sack, maybe if I breath though my hands I won’t hyperventilate!
- Schaumburg - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:43 pm:
“Please don’t diminish my pension.”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:43 pm:
Om.Hare Krishna, hare, hare. MPC
- siriusly - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:48 pm:
Thought bubble:
(Okay that’s Clayborne . . . but who is that guy next to him? . . . he looks like that Republican staffer, no wait. He’s a member. Someone in my caucus!! what is that guy’s name?)
- PFK - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:49 pm:
“If hold the mosquito inside, it might bite me. If I let it go, it might bite someone else. If I kill the mosquito, I might go to hell. Pensions can wait people. I’ve got a real dilemma here!!!”
- Holdingontomywallet - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:51 pm:
“If we had a super, super, supermajority, it would have passed.”
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:57 pm:
The gene said be careful what you wish for…
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:57 pm:
“Oh Geez, Did I feed the cat?”
- Empty Chair - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 2:58 pm:
“Hey, hey…hey…listen. Pffffffffffffffffffhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! AAAAAAhahahahaha!!!!”
- Rail Sitter - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:00 pm:
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
- Reformed Public Servant - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:03 pm:
Dear God, it’s me Johnny. I’ve been a good servant. I’m not praying for anything to happen…, but how much longer until I run the Show?
Oh…and if you could keep this between me and You, I’d appreciate it! You know how “He” gets.
- U of I state employee - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:04 pm:
“Can’t we all just agree. I’m really tired of trying to fix Madigan’s screw ups.”
- mr. whipple - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:06 pm:
See, Ira, we start like this…
- reveue - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:08 pm:
” If I could just figure out how to tax Apple’s money in Ireland for IL. I’d be a genius and solve our revenue problems. A fee might do it, yah, make them pay a fee when they don’t pay taxes.”
- NW Illinois - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:09 pm:
“Today I pray to the Great Saint of Pension Reform”
- been there - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:13 pm:
Please God, please let me have a summer vacation. Soon. Long. Please.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:16 pm:
“Ok, lets think about this again; Mike says ‘no vote’ to My Bill, I got the senate to vote on my Bill, and pass it … Start over … My passed Bill gets to the House … Mike… what does Mike do… Vote? …No, too easy, … No, sit on it …No … Adjourns? …Ok, let’s say he adjours, then what? … do I give a statement? … yeah, but what do I say … can’t whine … think Cullerton, think … Mike adjourns, I give a statement, ignore that ‘leadership’ crack …’High Road’…right? …’High Road’…. pensions …. pensions …. and where is Quinn? … Quinn doesn’t think things out like this, (explitive)… Deep breath, start over … Senate passes my Bill, goes to the House …”
- The Captain - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:17 pm:
“Wake Clayborne up, tell him the job is his if he wants it.”
- siriusly - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:17 pm:
These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:23 pm:
What was I thinking ?
- downstatedemo - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:33 pm:
I wish that I was Oscar Meyer Weiner….
Then everyone would be in love with me….
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:33 pm:
“Do I say to Mike, ‘Vote the Bill, eat the Cannoli’… ‘Pass my Bill, leave a Cannoli’… Eat a Cannoli as you Pass my Bill’?…’Adjourn the House, buy a Cannoil’? ‘Adjourn the Cannoli, Pass the Bill’?…no, think …”
(Pause)
‘Do you like Apples? I just ate a Cannoil, Pass my Bill’…”
- Not Rollo Tomasi - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:37 pm:
God do my hemorrhoids hurt and Quinn wants to talk to me when we adjourn.
I don’t which is worse.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:37 pm:
“…I don’t even like Cannoli …right?”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:40 pm:
Our Madigan, who art in the House,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy legislature tries,
but only fails and cries,
both in the Senate and in the House
Give us this day our daily per diem.
And give us our contributions,
as we prepare for those who campaign against us.
And lead us not into more debt,
but deliver us from spending.
For thine is Illinois politics and unless it changes a state in declining glory for ever and ever. Amen
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:40 pm:
“I know he means well. Gotta tell Oberweis to stop handing out ice cream… I am starting to get Kankles …”
- Wensicia - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:40 pm:
“I should just close my eyes, click my heels three times, and say, there’s no place like home…”
- Judgment Day - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:44 pm:
“I wonder if I can get an Open Carry permit for the House floor?”
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:46 pm:
“Meh. Over there Mapes gets them marble and gold crappers. Over here I have to pray next to Silverstein. And we are the upper chamber? Ha.”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:49 pm:
OMG - Religion and the Godfather!
TCB and Anonymous at 3:40 have my votes for the best so far. OW at 1:40 is a very close second.
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:49 pm:
But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of Madigan: is he the sort of man who would put the poison pill into his own pension reform bill or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison pill into his own bill, because he would know that only a great fool would pass what the House sent over. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the bill the House passed. But he must have known I was not a great fool, he would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the bill in front of me.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:52 pm:
- 47th Ward -
Winner. I quit.
End of discussion.
- Judgment Day - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:54 pm:
“I forgot the three rules:
- You can’t win
- You can’t break even
- You can’t even quit the game”
- Just Me - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 3:55 pm:
Our Speaker in the Senate,
Madigan be your name.
Your bills come,
your bills will be done,
in the Senate, as it is in the House.
Give us this committee our daily opportunity to speak,
and forgive us our debts that we build,
as we also have taken money from many union lobbyists.
And lead us far into temptation,
and deliver us from doing the people’s will.
In your Speakership we pray,
Amen
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:01 pm:
47th, well played! I second Willy. Folding tent.
- DoubleD - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:04 pm:
Blowing on the dice…Daddy needs a new pension bill…Daddy needs a new pension bill…Daddy needs….SNAKE EYES!…damn that Squeezy!
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:06 pm:
OW: No more captions, I mean it
47th Ward: Anyone want a peanut?
Well played - 47th Ward -!
“How do I ensure the Other Caucus keeps that ‘Commander Galloway’…”
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:10 pm:
Wonder if there is pie at home, pie always makes things better…
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:10 pm:
“John… did you hear what I said …Rep. Drury wants to run for the Illinois Senate …John?…John?”
- 13thone - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:12 pm:
Please dear God let Lisa get elected so Mike will let us get something done.
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:17 pm:
Now I lay my bill down for vote,
I pray Madigan will call it up,
If it reachs the House floor,
I pray Madigan will let it pass.
Amen.
- AC - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:20 pm:
Lord, I pray that you make me the equal of Mike Madigan in every way related to leading this state, with the exception of maturity, because I am thankful that I have been shown the path toward behaving like an adult.
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:20 pm:
Praise Madigan and pass the bills …
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:24 pm:
Think back … way back. There has to be something there I can use to get the upper hand just this one time; I just wish it wasn’t so hard to remember these days.
- Anon - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:27 pm:
Dear God,
Make me a bird, so I can fly, far, far away!
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:36 pm:
“Vince, you were right. As soon as we got control of everything, we screwed it up worse than the Repubs ever did. We miss you, buddy.”
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:36 pm:
I don’t think this visualization technique is working; all I see is my bill not passing …
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:38 pm:
Why couldn’t the GOP win more seats the last time? Then it could have been THEIR problem too.
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:40 pm:
If I retire, I wonder how long it will take to get my first pension check …
- Mouthy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:45 pm:
“And you stretch the blade of grass real tight, blow, and it makes a really neat sound”…
- Other dude - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:48 pm:
47th ward wins
- Johnny O'Veritas - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 4:48 pm:
President Cullerton gets an idea while watching the Red Wedding episode from HBO’s A Game of Thrones….
- walkinfool - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:01 pm:
You just gotta hold your nose and vote.
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:07 pm:
with apologies to Anonymous @ 3:40 pm;
I’m an editor these days; I thought the meter needed a bit of work …
Our Madigan, who art in the House,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy legislation tries,
but only dies,
in the Senate and in the House
Give us this day our daily per diem.
And forgive the state debt,
Lead us not into borrowing,
and deliver us from downgrades.
For Illinois is thine kingdom,
where you reign with power for ever and ever.
Amen
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:11 pm:
“The horror, the horror…”
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:25 pm:
The camera’s on me … focus beyond it, don’t blink …
- Betsy - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:34 pm:
“In the name of the Speaker, his daughter and the ComEd lobbyists …”
- Amalia - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:43 pm:
Lord, please let Lorne MIchaels come looking for older comics for SNL. I gotta get out of this place.
- Springfield Dem - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 5:51 pm:
Thank God for Rich
- Pete - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:10 pm:
Man it stinks in here.
- DocNoyes - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:21 pm:
Sweet baby Jesus..I have to pee!!!
- jsg - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:28 pm:
Prayer, inspiring when done by a member of the clergy. Unsettling when done by an Illinois legislature.
- Anonymister - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:32 pm:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things the Speaker won’t change;
a courageous staff attorney suggest changes anyway;
and wisdom to do the opposite of whatever Quinn says.”
- Anonymister - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:34 pm:
Or, if the above suggestion is invalidated, opition B:
“Maybe if I perfect my ventriloquism in Exec, I can unleash it in the House”
- Budget Watcher - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 6:41 pm:
Man, if only Hibbert had been in for those last 2 seconds of game 1…
- Du Jour - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 7:14 pm:
Sitting Shiva over pension reform.
- Du Jour - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 7:17 pm:
Speaker Hamlet peeks around the corner wondering if he should kill the bill while its sponsor is praying, lest it go to heaven thereby ruining his revenge.
- Du Jour - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 7:22 pm:
I wonder if that witch from Snow White has any apples left?
- zatoichi - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 7:51 pm:
It’s freaking working….
- Just The Way It Is One - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 8:03 pm:
“God,like George Bailey once told ya…even though I know he and Clarence are/were, ya know, fake fictitious characters…I’m not a PRAYing Man, but, I’m at the end of my rope..please help me–I’ve (actually WE’ve, ya know, legislators and Governors for decades and decades, somehow lost almost a 100 BILlion dollars on pensions, and misplaced it somehow, and need to make it up…can ya HELP me Lord?” At this point, the worried and compassionate legislator in front of him (Ira Silverstein per chance??) turns to him and asks him if he’s alright and needs any help–by name–and that he really shouldn’t wimper like that in Public. Then an infuriated Madigan just so happens to start to walk by at that instant and overhears that this prayin’ fella is John CULlerton and slams him with a hard punch to the jaw, blurting, John CULlerton, ey?! Well that’s the LAST time you treat my House Members like that after we SLAVED to teach those child-like, naive Representatives about my pension brilliance and to pass a respectable pension bill–and THAT’S how ya TREAT us? By voting it DOWN?! Why, we cried for an HOUR when we heard how you did that to us!! John CULlerton, hrumph!! (as the Conference Chair insists the Speaker be removed and the Seargant-at-Arms and assistants are shoving Madigan out of and through the Conference room doors…)!
- Idontgetit - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 9:27 pm:
Maybe a term limit bill is a good idea
- WizzardOfOzzie - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 9:45 pm:
They did what to Robb Stark??? Holy Crap!!!
- iThink - Tuesday, Jun 4, 13 @ 10:17 pm:
I really should have washed my hands.
- Bruce - Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 7:38 am:
Dear God, Save Illinois. Fire Madigan. (And throw in a little brimstone, while you’re at it)
- OneMan - Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 7:48 am:
In a quiet moment The Senate President realized, in large part since all the interesting stuff happens during the last week of session, perhaps next time he will just come down for the last week…
- anon - Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 8:05 am:
Oh well, guess I’ll meet with Quinn next week, since Madigan uninvited me to Palm Springs after we tanked his pension bill.
- Tim Elenz - Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 8:29 am:
Billable hours are better at the firm
- The Lowly LA - Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 8:35 am:
I knew I should have paid more attention in that “Bargaining for Results” elective at Loyola…
- The Lowly LA - Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 8:37 am:
“You’re not helping, Rich…”
- ellapalmommie - Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 9:07 am:
That deal with Mike…I get Union donations and he gets big business money. Oh no, I made a mistake.
- John Bambenek - Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 9:17 am:
Bless me, Speaker, for I have sinned…
- Farm Boy - Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 9:27 am:
What? You’ve got to be pulling my leg? The latest polling data shows Pat Quinn ahead of Lisa? Lord, let us pray.
- catch22 - Wednesday, Jun 5, 13 @ 1:44 pm:
Dear Lord if we could only blame this on George Bush!!!