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These kids today…
Tuesday, Jan 21, 2014 - Posted by Rich Miller * WGN…
What sort of goofballs would ever do such a thing? * Well, many years ago when my family rented a house on a farm in Iroquois County, my parents raised chickens. For whatever reason (I suppose he didn’t have a truck at the time), my dad bought some corn for the chickens and hauled it in the back seat of his 1964 Ford Falcon. A few kernels remained on the floor of the back seat and were still there when my parents took us all on a family trip to Springfield. My younger brother Denny was always an odd duck and to this day I’m not sure why he did it, but he put one of those corn kernels up his nose. He then proudly informed everyone of his superb accomplishment. Mom told him to try to blow it out, but instead of blowing, Denny breathed in through his nose. Like I said, he was an odd duck. Large families (I have four brothers) cannot ever escape the crazy. Somebody always does something goofy. But the real insanity comes when everybody gets into the act. Dad was yelling, Mom was doing her best to stay calm, and my other brothers and I were trying to “help” Denny by blowing air out through our own noses to show him how it was done. I’m sure it was a pretty darned hilarious site if you passed us on the highway. Denny sucked that corn kernel all the way into his sinus cavity and we had to go to a Springfield hospital to have it removed with a very long pair of tweezers. Needless to say, our capital city tour didn’t get off to a great start. I don’t remember anything else about that trip except waiting forever in front of the hospital in a hot car. * Anyway, the moral of this story, kids, is don’t put stuff up your nose that doesn’t belong there. …Adding… WGN must be behind the times. I just found a “snorting smarties” video from six years ago.
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- OneMan - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 4:12 pm:
Had to have a conversation with a parent once about how others had observed their child (8th grader I think) snorting mayo packets…
That was an awkward converstaon
- Rahm'sMiddleFinger - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 4:14 pm:
If only Rauner’s employee Stu Levine had read this post before going to the Purple Hotel.
- Stuff happens - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 4:23 pm:
Here’s an article about the hype that I read earlier today.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/opinions/wp/2014/01/20/everybody-panic/?wpsrc=AG0003275
When I was a kid we once snorted artificial sweetener at Denny’s on a dare. I guess my ‘drug’ of choice probably didn’t attract nasal maggots, but I’m still haunted by the memory of that sickeningly sweet post-nasal drip that stayed with me for too many days afterwards.
Still, until the governor starts snorting Smarties (see cinnamon challenge) I’m not too concerned.
- Under Influenced - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 4:34 pm:
WGN == Dangerous new trend: School kids snorting Smarties==
So it’s a “new trend” because some bored reporter found a video on youtube?
I definitely remember attempting to snort those delectable little candies up my nose in kindergarten. Why you ask?? Because kindergarteners do stupid things.
- G'Kar - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 4:38 pm:
Good Grief, I remember we used to snort ground up Sweet Tarts when I was in JR High in the late `60’s.
- ChaiseLounge - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 4:57 pm:
Rich, thanks for sharing that anecdote. Too funny.
That said, I question the real journalistic ethics of these types of articles or stories. They posture as warnings, but it seems clear that for every one goofball they successfully “warn,” they inspire about seven others to try something idiotic that previously hadn’t even crossed their brains.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 4:59 pm:
The ER nurses at Christ in Oak Lawn started greeting my mother by name after a while. She was really embarrassed but that. I don’t think it was that we were in there a lot, it’s just you don’t forget a woman who brings in a teenager that’s stuck a fondue fork through her finger.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 5:02 pm:
epidemic of the week
- dupage dan - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 5:03 pm:
5:02 pm anonymous was me.
- dupage dan - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 5:04 pm:
I stapled my thumb once. Just wanted to see how it felt. Didn’t get any maggots - thank goodness.
- SAP - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 5:08 pm:
Are nasal maggots different from regular maggots?
- ChaiseLounge - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 5:13 pm:
==Are nasal maggots different from regular maggots?==
Only a little, SAP; nasal maggots look just like the others, but sound like Woody Allen and are constantly self deprecating.
- Juvenal - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 5:16 pm:
A pediatrician friend of mine saw a patient for an ear infection.
The kid had stuck a corn kernel in his ear, and it had started germinating.
She removed it roots and all.
Denny got lucky.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 5:17 pm:
Years ago when my step daughters were around 4 and 5 they apparently had a contest at their mother’s house to see who could stuff the most raisins up their nose. One girl proudly told me, “I won, because I had to go to Urgent Care to get all the raisins out of my nose!” Still makes me laugh….
- PoolGuy - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 5:43 pm:
i snorted pixie sticks on a dare in high school. i was a goofy one. burned so bad. I learned my lesson. thanks for the reminder Rich
- A Citizen - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 5:59 pm:
Some things can be very painful. We take pain relievers called analgesics for them. Just remember to take them orally!
- Joan P. - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 6:00 pm:
Reminds me of the old Pete Seeger song, “My mommy said not to put beans in my ears”.
- Dillard's First Wife - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 6:06 pm:
TMI
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 6:19 pm:
=5:02 pm anonymous was me. =
Why did you stick a fondue fork through your finger?
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 6:22 pm:
=nasal maggots look just like the others, but sound like Woody Allen =
lol I’m still laughing.
Why would someone get “nasal maggots” snorting Smarties? (And NO, I’m not going to try it to find out why.)
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 6:41 pm:
I think I wrote a snortin’ smarties story about 25 years ago. Also, blotter acid printed with Disney characters. That comes up every couple of years or so.
Back on the farm, the neighbor kids across the back forty had a cattle pen. They’d pack them in there for a couple of months in the summer before they went off to the Golden Arches in the sky.
There would be runoff of you-know-what from the pen. It was like “quicksand,” if you had some imagination and had been watching Tarzan movies on Channel 9.
We’d play in the “quicksand,” lose our shoes, then run home for dinner.
Except no dinner. A cold garden hose shower and Lava outside. Maybe a sandwich. Then the old man would put up the tent in the backyard for the night.
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 6:52 pm:
I was a child in the 1970s. Kids just snorted glue back then. It was a simpler time.
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 7:03 pm:
47, what were “poppers?” Or “rush?” I remember kids doing that at school. You could buy it over-the-counter at head shops and record stores — when there were head shops and record stores.
I remember some kids spraying “Pam” in a bag and inhaling that, too.
Never understood the attraction. There were always organic alternatives involving hops, barley and cannabis sativa, if you had older brothers….
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 8:05 pm:
I don’t remember poppers, but recall Pop Rocks and Coca Cola is what killed Mikey, the kid from the Life Cereal commercial. Don’t mix these at home kids.
I do have a vague memory of kids inhaling nitrous oxide from spent whipped cream cans. Not me of course, but I heard the head rush was pretty epic from those. I think they called them “whippits” but that was a long time ago.
- Excessively Rabid - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 9:03 pm:
==What sort of goofballs would ever do such a thing?==
QOTD. Obviously a bunch of us or our acquaintances.
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 9:09 pm:
word, weren’t “poppers” amyl nitrates-inhaled out of a little tiny bag?
Don’t ask how I know.
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 9:17 pm:
I checked the Google and that is correct. Not my thing.
I preferred my underage jollies to come out of a can, keg or bottle.
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 9:47 pm:
AA, I’m with you.
Most of the kids I came up with who did all that weird stuff are okay now and rocks of their communities and churches.
The crazier they were, the ones who made it, the better church-goers they are. God bless them.
Down on the farm, it wasn’t the drugs, it was the drinking and driving that was the killer. It was a way of life in the 70s and 80s.
I think most farm folk will tell you the same.
What were you going to do? You’re a teenager on the farm, you got a car, your hormones are raging, party in town? You can buy beer underage over the county line?
That’s how I came up. I got lucky. So did a lot of my old friends. A lot of my young friends were not.
MADD was one of the great movements of our time. It put a lot of booze dealers out of business, and it changed a lot of lifestyles, but it was a good thing, for everyone.
- Person 8 - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 9:57 pm:
Wow, this is old news. This was big in schools about 2 years ago.
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 10:22 pm:
word, we can’t go back to those days, but they were great while they lasted. I keep in touch with folks from my hometown and read the local paper online, and regularly laugh to myself when one of the biggest partiers from back in the day turns up as Chair of the Chamber of Commerce or heading a church fund drive.
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Jan 21, 14 @ 10:57 pm:
AA, I know where you’re coming from.
But I have to tell you, I’m happy for the way society has moved.
Like I said, when I came up, drinking and driving wss not a big thing out on the farm. Everybody did it. Everybody.
I got my DUI in high school. It was a joke. I had taken the judge’s daughter to homecoming. My lawyer — my brothers’s father=in=law — had been the law partner of the state’s attorney.
Obviously, I got away with everything.
Some of my classmates did not. They rolled in the ditches or ate the telepone poles.
I continued driving drunk for years. I’m ashamed of that, but that’s the way you rolled at my age in the country.
By the way, the judge, my lawyer and the prosecutor were all chronic drunk drivers.
My point is
- TommyK - Wednesday, Jan 22, 14 @ 8:52 am:
My favorite part is that the missing commas make it sound like they already have nasal maggots and snorting Smarties will make them “even worse.”