“I went to the eye doctor to get contacts. Yeah, went in sat down, and the eye doctor asked me to read the 2nd line from the bottom. Told the doctor I can’t … I have a splinter in my eye… Splinter….in my eye. I’m made if wood people…”
“Bruce Rauner is a great boss, great. No pressure, out here free wheeling. If it doesn’t work, he said he knows of a house or five that needs some deck wood replaced so, I work real hard…”
Okay, this takes me back to my childhood, when I dressed up as the Blue Fairy for Halloween. I would be happy to return to that character on behalf of the Quinn campaign…
(Best Mae West imitation: “You bet I could turn him into a real boy…”)
“…no, that’s ‘Peter Pan’… ‘Cinderella’… no, there are 8 of them, and it’s ‘Snow White’… ‘Mary Poppins’! … Ding you know your Disney fairy tales, it’s a play on ‘Pinnoccio’…I know, funny, right?”
. o O ( I really nobody has actually read the book, because they might think we’re saying Quinn is an epic hero who could experience a political rebirth)
OW on a roll…here, lemme help a little OW…you will never write this….
Vote Rauner - he wood spruce things up.
Vote Rauner - you’ll never be board.
Anyway, the “shingles” joke - perfection. I keep seeing the word “Quinnochio” and I keep wondering if it a really small town deep in Southern Illinois named after a battle in the Mexican-American war I have never heard about.
“This is a family affair for me. This sign was my Aunt Francine… She was a card… “
- Almost the Weekend - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:58 pm:
“Rauner made me put permanent black marker on my legs. However, he did say wearing a Carhart and an $18 watch was way worse to get off his skin. I feel bad for the rich.”
“Frankly, I didn’t see this coming when Billionaire Bruce called and said he wanted to hire me as part of his plan to bring more good jobs to Illinois.”
Rauner fancying himself an artist, ensured Quinnochio’s legs have the look of real, authentic wood. If there’s one thing Rauner knows, it’s how to look real and authentic.
Bruce Rauner, ever frugal, enlisted his four year-old nephew Timmy to paint Quinnochio’s signs. The cost… A bowl of Cocoa Puffs and a candy bar to be named later.
“My cousin is an actor too. He was the steak that went through the heart of ‘Vampire 6′ in the TV show ‘Vampire Diaries’… I think it’s on Fox. Powerful performance…”
Oswego Willy, I’m pretty sure there’s no prize for the most number of comments on a thread. Give it a rest already. Or at least make the comments funny, please.
Reminds me of back when Pat Quinn himself used to wear “sandwich board” signs and pass petitions outside of grocery stores for his favorite reform causes. Does anyone still have a photo of that?
PS Chipper, next time you decide to launch a big branding campaign, make sure someone else doesn’t already own the twitter account, and it doesn’t include a bunch of racist, homophobic rants.
OW, no wait Oswego Willy (respect) you are killing me. Laughing out loud at every single one. You should take that on the road. I’m going to keep checking back for more.
But as a Rauner supporter, this makes me sick. Absolutely ridiculous. Stupid. Makes me feel stupid. Who’s brilliant idea was this in the Rauner camp? Because it sure does not speak to me or anyone else that I know.
This whole thing, for me, reminds me of the Dopey “yogurt” joke.
I dunno what the Rauner Crew is thinking. In complete truth, I feel the real Bruce Rauner began to emerge on Election Night, and being unhinged, then the yogurt joke(s) as a way to connect, then Quinnochio. Instead of being seen as an adult, Rauner comes across like a wealthy aloof amateur, and his money is going to speak, exactly how he wants now, amateur or not.
I would hope they recalibrate. But cheese and amateur with money, will trump professionals and professionalism and being and adult. Just a thought.
“Caption?”
“I am a fan of Bruce’s ,(nose grows), Big fan, (nose grows more), I’ll just be quiet now…”
===….( I really {think} nobody has actually read the book, because they might think we’re saying Quinn is an epic hero who could experience a political rebirth)===
Guys…this is straight out of the Mike Z playbook. He had a creepy doctor for David Gill and a shark for Alexi Giannoulias. How many bad ideas can one operative have?
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:39 pm:
After the close call in March, Mike Z is demoted to mascot.
- haverford - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:41 pm:
“Yep, these are the same tights the last guy was wearing…”
Looks like Bruce spent more on his watch than the get up.
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:43 pm:
Stanley Kubrick called. He wants his ***** mask from A Clockwork Orange back.
Also, what’s with the 5:00 shadow?
- AFSCME Steward - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:44 pm:
As a part of his creating jobs plan, Bruce Rauner announces a new initiative to make Illinois the “cartoon mascot impersonator” capitol of the world.
- FormerParatrooper - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:46 pm:
I wonder why dating women is so hard?
- Nonplussed - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:46 pm:
Secretly, that guy is rooting for Quinn so he can start making $10/hr.
- Stones - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:47 pm:
Just praying the check doesn’t bounce
- AFSCME Steward - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:48 pm:
Man who forgot to take his meds attends Quinn appearance.
- Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:48 pm:
“I’ve got no strings! And even less dignity!”
- Smoggie - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:48 pm:
Brilliant campaign tactics like this, but yet the ILGOP keeps losing elections. Strange dat.
- zatoichi - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:51 pm:
Yeah, Quinnocchio during the week. Liberty Tax Statue of Liberty gig on the weekend. Just paying the bills, man.
- No Buddies - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:51 pm:
Terrence Goggin appears!
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:51 pm:
Oswego Willy pays off on Election Day wager.
- AFSCME Steward - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:52 pm:
Quinnochinno: a campaign character created by an adult who says he has the answers to Illinois’ problems.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:52 pm:
“Who ordered the ‘SMedium’ costume?”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:54 pm:
“I am wearing these boots because the shoes that came with the costume just looked silly…”
- southside johnny - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:54 pm:
Page 6 of the Rauner Employee Manual: “You will be paid minimum wage. You will wear tights. You lousy 99.99%er.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:55 pm:
Hey…HEY! They’re lederhosen, not a onesie, bub!”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:57 pm:
“This week it’s Bill Brady’s turn, then Rutherford, and we will have Dillard next… after some … modifications.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:58 pm:
“I have had worse gigs. Ever been a Muppet? Still have nightmares…”
- Anthony - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 2:58 pm:
Another “new” politician making a mockery out of voter intelligence. Bruce is a fast learner. Thanks for lowering yourself.
- Grandson of Man - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:00 pm:
“Please don’t ask where the nose was before I put it on my face.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:01 pm:
“If Bruce wins, I’m in line to run CMS…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:02 pm:
“No, no. Bruce is the Adult running for governor…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:03 pm:
“I am earning extra credit at Payton Prep for my government class…”
- lathamplace4 - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:04 pm:
Let your conscious be your guide.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:05 pm:
“It’s tough being a wooden boy, it’s tough. Just last week I got sick. I did. The doctor told me I had shingles…. shingles. Wooden boy has shingles…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:07 pm:
“My uncle is wooden too. Yep. He sleeps alot. Some say he sleeps like a log. Log. Sleeps like a log…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:08 pm:
“When Bruce Rauner lies, something else on me grows… My eyelashes… What were you thinking?”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:09 pm:
“…no, that’s when Bruce tells the truth…”
- Stones - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:09 pm:
Don’t they know Quinnocchio needs to have a purple tie?
- OneMan - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:09 pm:
Still beats the Squeezy gig…
- bottom rung. - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:10 pm:
“Quinnochio, how did I not think of that!” said Tio Hardiman.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:10 pm:
“The man is a Genius, he can make me come alive out of carving me from wood and get my vision 20/20? Some ‘miracle’…”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:11 pm:
In a shocking move to get back at the Governor for dumping her, Sheila Simon protests outside a Quinn event.
- A guy... - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:11 pm:
gotta spend 2 hours in make up every event. Takes most of that just for the legs.
- haverford - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:12 pm:
By the way, Quinnocchio’s holding a sign saying he cut 600m from education AND nose is long. So he is lying.
Which means the Rauner campaign’s argument is that Quinn DIDN’T cut $600m from education.
Nice work, chaps.
- Jake From Elwood - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:12 pm:
The hiking boots are right out of the Rauner playbook, no?
- A guy... - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:13 pm:
I’m sure glad the biggest lies came after the weather changed. This costume would’ve been cold the past 3 months.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:13 pm:
“I went to the eye doctor to get contacts. Yeah, went in sat down, and the eye doctor asked me to read the 2nd line from the bottom. Told the doctor I can’t … I have a splinter in my eye… Splinter….in my eye. I’m made if wood people…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:15 pm:
“I was afraid to take this gig. Yeah. Thought about it for days. I was petrified….”
- Buzzie - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:16 pm:
Looks like Tom Ricketts lost his opening game bet.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:17 pm:
“Bruce Rauner is a great boss, great. No pressure, out here free wheeling. If it doesn’t work, he said he knows of a house or five that needs some deck wood replaced so, I work real hard…”
- the Patriot - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:17 pm:
Net worth 2 billion
Cost of buying primary 7 million
Daily expense of shame character $200
Being too cheap to have a sign made professionally,…priceless.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:18 pm:
“No, you are thinking of ‘Woody’ from ‘Toy Story’… No we’re not related….”
- AFSCME Steward - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:19 pm:
Citing solidarity with other wooden boys, Charlie McCarthy announces he’s supporting Rauner.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:19 pm:
“Bruce is tough. Yeah, Bruce knows its important to lay the wood to Quinn, so…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:21 pm:
“Evelyn, watch out for my puppet strings laying on the groubd there…EVELYN!..”
- Soccermom - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:23 pm:
Okay, this takes me back to my childhood, when I dressed up as the Blue Fairy for Halloween. I would be happy to return to that character on behalf of the Quinn campaign…
(Best Mae West imitation: “You bet I could turn him into a real boy…”)
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:24 pm:
“Bruce paid Geppetto $7.25 an hour to make me, but he made me in Indiana, so that was ok…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:26 pm:
“Yep. Dartmouth, Class of 2013. No, I had 3 interviews…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:27 pm:
“Hey! How much is Quinn payin’ you to be Squeezy? You get $10 an hour!”
- Commonsense in Illinois - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:28 pm:
For this I have a Masters Degree??!!
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:31 pm:
“Before Bruce rescued me, I had a donkey tail and donkey ears, so I owe him, k?”
- Stuff happens - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:32 pm:
Borrowing from the movie Roxanne…
“Oooh, how original! Most billionaires just have their teeth capped.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:34 pm:
“…no, that’s ‘Peter Pan’… ‘Cinderella’… no, there are 8 of them, and it’s ‘Snow White’… ‘Mary Poppins’! … Ding you know your Disney fairy tales, it’s a play on ‘Pinnoccio’…I know, funny, right?”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:36 pm:
- Stuff happens -,
Good stuff, and great “20″ one liners ever. Some might be too “blue” here, but I was on that train with you.
“Geppetto is a funny guy, real funny, told me when I get to Chicago, don’t take any wooden nickels…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:39 pm:
“Excuse me. Yes. Sorry. I tell everyone I am a little wooden boy, and some snicker and then ask ‘Jason Plummer?’ and laugh and laugh. I don’t get it.”
- Nonplussed - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:40 pm:
Can you hold this sign for a minute? I ate a Taco Bell breakfast!
- Stuff happens - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:41 pm:
. o O ( I really nobody has actually read the book, because they might think we’re saying Quinn is an epic hero who could experience a political rebirth)
- anonymoose - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:41 pm:
OW on a roll…here, lemme help a little OW…you will never write this….
Vote Rauner - he wood spruce things up.
Vote Rauner - you’ll never be board.
Anyway, the “shingles” joke - perfection. I keep seeing the word “Quinnochio” and I keep wondering if it a really small town deep in Southern Illinois named after a battle in the Mexican-American war I have never heard about.
- Dee Lay - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:42 pm:
Another fine example of political discourse in the state of Illinois
- Michael Westen - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:46 pm:
Is Joe Wiegand back?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:46 pm:
- anonymoose -,
Thanks, appreciate that. The more the merrier, jump in the water’s fine.
“I was going to get a tattoo. Yep. Quinnochio was going to get a tattoo. It was going to be a lightning bolt and under it the word ‘Wonderboy’…”
- Maze - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:47 pm:
“I wanted the sign to say ‘I chopped…’, but the humor went right over Rauner’s head.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:48 pm:
“I am a block off the Chip Englander”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:50 pm:
“What?! No, that is not hair on the top of my head. Does hair grow on wood? No. Yeah, it’s a fungus. I am taking a medicine for it…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:53 pm:
“If I do poorly, I will get benched. No. I will literally become a bench, I’m made if wood, keep up!”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:54 pm:
“I have to wear clothes, but not got the reasons you think. The SPF on wood stain is just not going to keep me from fading, so…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:56 pm:
“This is a family affair for me. This sign was my Aunt Francine… She was a card… “
- Almost the Weekend - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 3:58 pm:
“Rauner made me put permanent black marker on my legs. However, he did say wearing a Carhart and an $18 watch was way worse to get off his skin. I feel bad for the rich.”
- OldSmoky2 - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:06 pm:
“Frankly, I didn’t see this coming when Billionaire Bruce called and said he wanted to hire me as part of his plan to bring more good jobs to Illinois.”
- Jimbo - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:07 pm:
Rauner fancying himself an artist, ensured Quinnochio’s legs have the look of real, authentic wood. If there’s one thing Rauner knows, it’s how to look real and authentic.
- Jimbo - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:09 pm:
Bruce Rauner, ever frugal, enlisted his four year-old nephew Timmy to paint Quinnochio’s signs. The cost… A bowl of Cocoa Puffs and a candy bar to be named later.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:09 pm:
“Hey, Quinnochio, leave the stuffed hunting dog alone…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:11 pm:
“Sorry I was late. The metal screws and hinges kept setting off the metal detector…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:13 pm:
“According to the rings, I am 73 years old and still a boy…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:15 pm:
“My cousin is an actor too. He was the steak that went through the heart of ‘Vampire 6′ in the TV show ‘Vampire Diaries’… I think it’s on Fox. Powerful performance…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:17 pm:
lol stupid auto-correct…
——————–
“Sorry, I got a fingernail under one of my splinters, yowzers that hurts..,”
- sal-says - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:19 pm:
Haven’t read the commentary, but.
This is far dumber than Squeezy.
Looks like amateur hour at the local school.
And some dude actually took money to do this? That should say something about a ‘living wage’.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:19 pm:
“Working for Bruce stinks. I hope that Slytherin Jim Oberweis can ‘Harry Potter’ me into a real boy…”
- Enough already - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:20 pm:
Oswego Willy, I’m pretty sure there’s no prize for the most number of comments on a thread. Give it a rest already. Or at least make the comments funny, please.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:21 pm:
“When I thought ‘Raunerbot’ I always thought more ‘Tin Man’ …”
- Jeff Trigg - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:27 pm:
Stu Levine is just happy to be back on anyone’s payroll.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:31 pm:
===I’m pretty sure there’s no prize for the most number of comments on a thread.===
“Pretty sure”? So there’s a chance…
“Rauner should have tabled this idea…”
- Stuff happens - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:33 pm:
The final votes are in, and it’s Quinn… By a nose.
- Smoggie - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:33 pm:
Oddly, of all of Oswego Willy’s comments on this thread, the one that made me laugh out loud was this one:
“Pretty sure”? So there’s a chance…”
Well played!
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 4:37 pm:
“Everyone’s a critic” - Geppetto, sculptor.
- Mr. T - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 5:22 pm:
Headline - BR creates another industry with one
job. Wonder if he is paid minimum wage.
- George Lucas - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 5:34 pm:
How about a contest to come up with an appropriate response? My entry is Darth Rauner.
- Fearless Freep - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 5:41 pm:
Reminds me of back when Pat Quinn himself used to wear “sandwich board” signs and pass petitions outside of grocery stores for his favorite reform causes. Does anyone still have a photo of that?
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 7:16 pm:
Animated Attacks Continue in Governor’s Race
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 7:30 pm:
PS Chipper, next time you decide to launch a big branding campaign, make sure someone else doesn’t already own the twitter account, and it doesn’t include a bunch of racist, homophobic rants.
Good luck explaining @Quinnocchio.
- allknowingmasterofracoondom - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 8:52 pm:
OW, no wait Oswego Willy (respect) you are killing me. Laughing out loud at every single one. You should take that on the road. I’m going to keep checking back for more.
But as a Rauner supporter, this makes me sick. Absolutely ridiculous. Stupid. Makes me feel stupid. Who’s brilliant idea was this in the Rauner camp? Because it sure does not speak to me or anyone else that I know.
- downstate commisssioner - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:04 pm:
Willy, did you go home from work? Nothing since 4:37. Rich needs to give you the price for the most posts; all good, but anonymous @3:11 wins…
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:08 pm:
(Tips cap to -allknowingmasterofracoondom -)
Thanks.
This whole thing, for me, reminds me of the Dopey “yogurt” joke.
I dunno what the Rauner Crew is thinking. In complete truth, I feel the real Bruce Rauner began to emerge on Election Night, and being unhinged, then the yogurt joke(s) as a way to connect, then Quinnochio. Instead of being seen as an adult, Rauner comes across like a wealthy aloof amateur, and his money is going to speak, exactly how he wants now, amateur or not.
I would hope they recalibrate. But cheese and amateur with money, will trump professionals and professionalism and being and adult. Just a thought.
“Caption?”
“I am a fan of Bruce’s ,(nose grows), Big fan, (nose grows more), I’ll just be quiet now…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:11 pm:
I had a Family Event, sorry I went away.
My favorite is probably…
===….( I really {think} nobody has actually read the book, because they might think we’re saying Quinn is an epic hero who could experience a political rebirth)===
Nice take…
- Carl Nyberg - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:14 pm:
The costume reminds me of a scene from Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:38 pm:
“So, when I’m done here, you want to get a cup of coffee or something? …No, these are the only clothes I got… Maybe another time then?…”
- anon - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:41 pm:
When I look at these candidates I see nothing but pontential. you have pontential… you have pont….
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 9:42 pm:
“Never trust people who promise to make you rich in a day. They are generally crazy swindlers.” - Carlo Collodi, author of Pinocchio.
Great one for 100
- D.P. Gumby - Wednesday, Apr 2, 14 @ 10:53 pm:
“And to think…I gave up the Liberty Tax costume for this gig. Oh, the Actor’s life for me, Hurumph!”
- Gus - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 6:58 am:
Guys…this is straight out of the Mike Z playbook. He had a creepy doctor for David Gill and a shark for Alexi Giannoulias. How many bad ideas can one operative have?
- Skeptic - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 9:07 am:
Skeptic gives Oswego Willie a rimshot and gives the waitress a good tip. OW, you’ll be here all week, right?
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 9:10 am:
…try the Veal…