Give me at least something to show that it looks like I accomplished something, anything, so that I don’t look totally inept and powerless, please please.
“Give me at least something to show that it looks like I accomplished something, anything, so that I don’t look totally inept and powerless, please please.” Actually I menat that as something Rauner would say to Madigan.
“So, you won’t take warning, eh? All the worse for you. I’ll take care of you now instead of later. When I gain those budget deals, my power will be the greatest in Illinois!”
“Now my precious Michael. Something with a poison pill in it, I think. A poison pill. But attractive to the eye and soothing to your tongue!”
“Ha-ha-ha-ha. Apples! Apples! Apples will change your mind! Sle-ee-p. Now you’ll sle-ee-p.”
Governor Rauner: Talk to the hand, ’cause the face don’t wanna hear it anymore.
Madigan: What hand? Talk to your hand?
Governor Rauner: You ain’t all that and a bag of potato chips.
Madigan: What are you talking about?
Governor Rauner: Don’t go there, girlfriend.
[snaps fingers]
Governor Rauner: Mmhmm.
Madigan: Whose girlfriend?
Governor Rauner: Don’t mess with me. I’m one crazy mo-fo. I had to pop a cop cause he wasn’t giving me my props in Oaktown. No? I’ve heard that somewhere.
Poor Unfortunate Soul - Ashman, enhanced by VanillaMan
Rauner: The only way to get what you want is to become like me. My dear, sweet Mr. Speaker. That’s what I’ll do for you. It’s what I live for! To help unfortunate politicians like yourself. Poor souls with no one else to turn to for campaign funds.
I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty
They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a fool
But you’ll find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, the Golden Rule
True? Yes
And I fortunately have a little money
Several millions that I accidentally squirreled away
And here lately, please don’t laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, lonely, and depressed pathetic
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to be Chicago Mayor
That one wants his abs on a GQ cover
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed!
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my office
Crying, “Funds, Bruce, please!”
And I help them!
Yes I do!
Now it’s happened once or twice
Someone couldn’t pay the price
And I’m afraid I had to run a television ad
Yes I’ve had the odd complaint
But on the whole I’ve been a saint
Will you sell me your soul, Lisa Madigan’s dad?
You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first… first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see thangs, wonderful to tell. You shall see a…pension savings… in an unbalanced budget, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward. Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation.
Rauner: “I’m your number one fan. There’s nothing to worry about. You’re going to be just fine. I will take good care of you. I’m your number one fan. God came to me last night and told me your purpose for being here. I am going to help you write a new budget bill.”
Madigan: “Do you think I can just write up an entirely new budget bill?”
Rauner: “Oh yes! We don’t need anyone else! God told me that you will! Is there anything you need? I can get you absolutely anything while you write that new budget bill.”
Madigan: “No”
Rauner: “Are you sure? Because if you want I can bring back the whole store for you!”
Madigan: “Uh - what’s the matter, Governor?”
Rauner: “WHAT’S THE MATTER? I’ll tell you “what’s the matter!” I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? “Oh, you sent us an unbalanced budget, Bruce, We can’t pass RTW without support, Bruce!
You’re $4 billion dollars off, Bruce! No one is voting for your Property Tax Freeze, Bruce!”
“Well, I’ll get your political power, your votes, your cooperation, your insider support, your APPLES! But you better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!”
Sometimes even the best athletes overstay their welcome in the big leagues. I suggest it would be better going out at the top of your game.
Like right now.
Or, I’m gonna be that guy who takes you down a peg or 2. And folks will remember you for that downfall and not for all the power and control you happily wielded for the last generation.
Like I said - I think Rauner is ALL IN. Does he got the stuff to take Madigan down? I haven’t a clue.
Doesn’t matter. The Speaker will smile, say thank you, and then Rauner will walk out of the Speaker’s office. For the Speaker life will go on as usual. The Governor will finally read the State Constitution.
Son, I know you are new around here and I can help you learn the ropes, after all I was elected to the House the same day you were elected 8th grade class president.
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:18 pm:
Retire
- O.W.L. - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:18 pm:
Retire
- Anon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:21 pm:
Stop throwing your apple cores in the wastebasket of my office.
- A guy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:21 pm:
Pick up your mail at the AG’s office. /s Too soon?
- Capitol Fax Follower - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:21 pm:
Give me at least something to show that it looks like I accomplished something, anything, so that I don’t look totally inept and powerless, please please.
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:22 pm:
Grow up.
- Capitol Fax Follower - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:23 pm:
“Give me at least something to show that it looks like I accomplished something, anything, so that I don’t look totally inept and powerless, please please.” Actually I menat that as something Rauner would say to Madigan.
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:23 pm:
Release your taxes for the first time. Or a more detailed economic disclosure.
- Judgment Day (on the road) - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:25 pm:
“Let’s say you win this year. What are you going to do next year when you need even more money?
Turnaround Agenda - Madigan version?”
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:25 pm:
Enjoy retirement.
- Wensicia - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:26 pm:
“Tell everybody I won and we’ll end the stalemate.”
- A Jack - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:26 pm:
“Don’t invest in nursing homes, those unions are a pain to deal with”
- Tasty Grouper - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:27 pm:
Stop being extreme. Act in moderation.
- @MisterJayEm - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:27 pm:
“P̶l̶a̶s̶t̶i̶c̶s̶ Superstars.”
- Mason born - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:29 pm:
Get a cellphone
- Tony - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:30 pm:
I’m going to be in charge the next year. It’s only fair.
- olddog - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:34 pm:
It’s my china shop now. I break it, I buy it.
- Wordslinger - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:34 pm:
Let me win one so we can get out of this mess.
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:35 pm:
==Find a new hobby. Something other than destroying a state budget over many decades.==
- Stuff Happens - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:43 pm:
Don’t open any envelopes.
- A Jack - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:43 pm:
“I don’t have any advice, but can I give you a hug?”
- Commonsense in Illinois - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:43 pm:
Dollar Poker for the win?
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:50 pm:
Don’t watch commercial TV for a while…
- relocated - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:51 pm:
It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
- Anon. - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:53 pm:
Mt. 16:23
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:55 pm:
“I gave Robert Johnson a deal so that he could play the blues and master the guitar - what will it take for you to sell me your soul?”
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:01 pm:
“So, you won’t take warning, eh? All the worse for you. I’ll take care of you now instead of later. When I gain those budget deals, my power will be the greatest in Illinois!”
“Now my precious Michael. Something with a poison pill in it, I think. A poison pill. But attractive to the eye and soothing to your tongue!”
“Ha-ha-ha-ha. Apples! Apples! Apples will change your mind! Sle-ee-p. Now you’ll sle-ee-p.”
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:06 pm:
Governor Rauner: Talk to the hand, ’cause the face don’t wanna hear it anymore.
Madigan: What hand? Talk to your hand?
Governor Rauner: You ain’t all that and a bag of potato chips.
Madigan: What are you talking about?
Governor Rauner: Don’t go there, girlfriend.
[snaps fingers]
Governor Rauner: Mmhmm.
Madigan: Whose girlfriend?
Governor Rauner: Don’t mess with me. I’m one crazy mo-fo. I had to pop a cop cause he wasn’t giving me my props in Oaktown. No? I’ve heard that somewhere.
- Honeybear - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:13 pm:
Vanilla man, told him to show up at the crossroads at midnight. But maybe he’d be like his superstars and not show “on account of they ob-stack-els!”
- Keyser Soze - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:15 pm:
Read Eric Zorn’s column.
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:16 pm:
==I got you this cellular phone, as a gift. It helps communicate. Use it when you want to talk and compromise, and I can do the same.==
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:17 pm:
Text me.
- Joe M - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:18 pm:
You got a family don’t you?
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:19 pm:
The 1980’s called. They want their technology back.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:22 pm:
Poor Unfortunate Soul - Ashman, enhanced by VanillaMan
Rauner: The only way to get what you want is to become like me. My dear, sweet Mr. Speaker. That’s what I’ll do for you. It’s what I live for! To help unfortunate politicians like yourself. Poor souls with no one else to turn to for campaign funds.
I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty
They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a fool
But you’ll find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, the Golden Rule
True? Yes
And I fortunately have a little money
Several millions that I accidentally squirreled away
And here lately, please don’t laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, lonely, and depressed pathetic
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to be Chicago Mayor
That one wants his abs on a GQ cover
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed!
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my office
Crying, “Funds, Bruce, please!”
And I help them!
Yes I do!
Now it’s happened once or twice
Someone couldn’t pay the price
And I’m afraid I had to run a television ad
Yes I’ve had the odd complaint
But on the whole I’ve been a saint
Will you sell me your soul, Lisa Madigan’s dad?
Have we got a deal?
- Honeybear - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:24 pm:
You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first… first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see thangs, wonderful to tell. You shall see a…pension savings… in an unbalanced budget, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward. Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation.
- Verbatim Writer - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:29 pm:
-VanillaMan 1:01 & 1:22-
Thanks for making my lunch hour.
Watching Wizard of Oz & The Little Mermaid will never be the same
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:30 pm:
“I want you to meet Mr. Bigglesworth.”
- Bulldog58 - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:32 pm:
Taxes? We don’t need no stinkin’ taxes!
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:36 pm:
Grow up!
- Checkers - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:37 pm:
Hang in there, chap. We’ve still got three more years, at least!
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:48 pm:
Rauner: “I’m your number one fan. There’s nothing to worry about. You’re going to be just fine. I will take good care of you. I’m your number one fan. God came to me last night and told me your purpose for being here. I am going to help you write a new budget bill.”
Madigan: “Do you think I can just write up an entirely new budget bill?”
Rauner: “Oh yes! We don’t need anyone else! God told me that you will! Is there anything you need? I can get you absolutely anything while you write that new budget bill.”
Madigan: “No”
Rauner: “Are you sure? Because if you want I can bring back the whole store for you!”
Madigan: “Uh - what’s the matter, Governor?”
Rauner: “WHAT’S THE MATTER? I’ll tell you “what’s the matter!” I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? “Oh, you sent us an unbalanced budget, Bruce, We can’t pass RTW without support, Bruce!
You’re $4 billion dollars off, Bruce! No one is voting for your Property Tax Freeze, Bruce!”
“Well, I’ll get your political power, your votes, your cooperation, your insider support, your APPLES! But you better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!”
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:50 pm:
I say we can teach an old dog new tricks.
- dupage dan - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:57 pm:
Sometimes even the best athletes overstay their welcome in the big leagues. I suggest it would be better going out at the top of your game.
Like right now.
Or, I’m gonna be that guy who takes you down a peg or 2. And folks will remember you for that downfall and not for all the power and control you happily wielded for the last generation.
Like I said - I think Rauner is ALL IN. Does he got the stuff to take Madigan down? I haven’t a clue.
- Beenthereseenthat - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:57 pm:
Doesn’t matter. The Speaker will smile, say thank you, and then Rauner will walk out of the Speaker’s office. For the Speaker life will go on as usual. The Governor will finally read the State Constitution.
- siriusly - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:00 pm:
VM!
“Don’t make me angry, you won’t like me when I’m angry.”
Or perhaps more genuinely:
“Pass my agenda, then I’ll sign your SHAM budget!”
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:08 pm:
Investment advice. Mike Madigan has built a small fortune.
- hmmm - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:13 pm:
I need someone to appeal my assessments!
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:14 pm:
You have overstayed your welcome.
- Courser - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:16 pm:
Enjoy retirement.
- Gooner - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:17 pm:
“Invest a small but to outsiders seemingly significant part of your personal fortune pursuing a job that that in no way suited for.”
Come on, let’s be honest.
Based on his performance so far, does Rauner seem capable of giving sound advice on any topic?
- 47th Ward - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:19 pm:
Rauner’s advice? Short Illinois bonds.
- Stuff Happens - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:21 pm:
“There are things that have to be done and you do them and you never talk about them. They can’t be justified. You just do them. Then you forget it.”
- Taxman - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:35 pm:
Have you considered running for Vice President with Trump? You two are like Peas & Carrots.
- DuPage - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:43 pm:
Rauner: Rules? In a knife fight? No rules!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPqhm36sjVE
- Ghost - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:55 pm:
Always…. No, no,…. Never forget to check your references.
- downstate commissioner - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:00 pm:
Rauner’s advice to Madigan? Why do we care? I doubt that Madigan does…
- bob - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:09 pm:
AFSCME might be hiring
- Mama - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:16 pm:
Rauner to Madigan: Do it my way or hit the highway! Remember I have plenty of money to make sure you are never the speaker of the house again.
- Anon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:17 pm:
Dude, we are both rich. Same team, bro. Why won’t you join my superstars?
- bob - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:20 pm:
Did CMS give you an ” A” Grade
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:27 pm:
GTCR is expanding their pension investment practice.
You have done so well supervising Illinois pensions and budgets while becoming wealthy yourself, we thought you might be interested?
- DPGumby - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:30 pm:
Brucie can’t advise himself let alone Madigan!
- Way out west - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:37 pm:
Son, I know you are new around here and I can help you learn the ropes, after all I was elected to the House the same day you were elected 8th grade class president.
- reasonable - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:44 pm:
What we have here, is a failure to communicate.
- wow - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 4:02 pm:
I voted for Nixon!
So did I!
- Cuddles - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 4:12 pm:
Honeybear?? Girlfriend, I thought you were counseled to take a break from blogging. You need to get away from it all.