“A man becomes preeminent, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball!”
So I asked the CMS IT guy, ‘How can I get an updated computer?’ He suggested that a spill a soft drink on the CPU… But then I realized that I don’t drink soft drinks.
Bruce, I want you to know… that I try. When Tim and the staff at the House tell me that I’m supposed to control my violent temper, and be passive and nonviolent like they are, I try. I really try. Though when I see this union… of such a beautiful spirit… so degraded… and this union… that I love… sprawled out by this big ape here… and this little union, who is so special to us we call her “God’s little gift of sunshine”… and I think of the number of years that she’s going to have to carry in her memory… the savagery of this idiotic moment of yours… I just go BERSERK!
- Allen D - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:04 pm:
You won’t see it my way, I’ll show you my way…. Come here Gov’na
- VanillaMan - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:04 pm:
“I said “APPLE” - not Apple computers!”
- Stones - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:05 pm:
Sox fans make solid contact. Cubs fans frequently swing and miss.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:05 pm:
“Smart phones - not desk tops!”
- Ahoy! - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:06 pm:
You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
- CEA - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:07 pm:
“Well, see, there was this fly…and it looked just like Bruce Rauner…”
- Joe M - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:07 pm:
The computer error your are experiencing is the fault of Michael Madigan.
- Tha missin g - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:09 pm:
30 years of Madigan and the politicians he controls broke this computer.
- Timmeh - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:10 pm:
Only the coffee cup survived.
- Anon221 - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:11 pm:
Who let Madigan in!
- CharlieKratos - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:11 pm:
Where are you hiding Bruce?!?!
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:11 pm:
Where…is…my…cellular…phone? I hate losing that thing! /s
- Mad Again - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:13 pm:
Heeeere’s Mikey!
- Mason born - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:13 pm:
Pull out your smart phone. I DARE you.
- Name Withheld - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:13 pm:
“A man becomes preeminent, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball!”
- OneMan - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:17 pm:
Now that is funny….
To the actual caption.
Sometimes it takes more than an apple to help with the anger.
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:17 pm:
First he came for your taxes. Now he’s coming for your computers.
- Dirty Red - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:18 pm:
VOTE ‘NO’ AGAIN!
VOTE ‘NO’ AGAIN!
I DARE YOU!
I DOUBLE DARE YOU!
VOTE ‘NO’ ONE MORE TIME!
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:19 pm:
Sir, Chuck Goudie is here to see you.
- Jake From Elwood - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:20 pm:
My initial thought was that movie “Office Space” and the destruction montage to the song “Dam* it feels to be a gangsta”
- Former Titan - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:20 pm:
This is my moderation; you don’t want to see my extreme.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:20 pm:
“You sent me an email? Yeah, my computer has been out of service… “
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:22 pm:
“Someone. Took. My. Nickname!”
- Bluefish - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:22 pm:
Former Titan beat me to this line.
- Wordslinger - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:23 pm:
“Because… Madigan.”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:23 pm:
“You mean this isn’t how you end a Skype conversation?”
- AC - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:24 pm:
Legislative Information System frustrates speaker.
- Dauphine - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:25 pm:
Their cartoonist is pretty good. More here: http://www.illinoispolicy.org/daily-comics/
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:25 pm:
“Mr. Speaker? Mr. Speaker? I was just kidding when I said Goldberg might be using your computer’s camera to spy on you.”
- Luggie - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:26 pm:
The Speaker’s anger management therapy suffered a set back this morning when he took a quick peek at the Capitol Fax Blog.
- AC - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:26 pm:
He struck the computers one last time, before the veto makes it illegal to strike.
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:26 pm:
I AM smiling. Everything is fine. Are you not listening?
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:27 pm:
When CONTROL-ALT-DELETE doesn’t solve the budget impasse…
- 47th Ward - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:27 pm:
Following a series of unflattering news reports about him, Speaker Madigan cancels his office Capitol Fax subscription.
- Anonymous - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:28 pm:
“Enthusiasms……enthusiasms….”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:29 pm:
Speaker Madigan resorts to his time-tested “Louisville Gambit”
- AC - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:29 pm:
Saputo’s never sold his favorite wine to someone else again.
- Joe M - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:29 pm:
You are seeing this error screen only if you are a liberal or a Democrat.
- siriusly - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:30 pm:
Just one of 118 members. Sure, I’m the only one with a baseball bat. But really, I’m just one of the members.
- Ghost - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:30 pm:
Rauner with his union made compouters
- Union Dues - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:30 pm:
The color on these monitors was too extreme.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:30 pm:
“Let me explain that again, computer. I didn’t win just now. You lost.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:31 pm:
“What. Is. The. Subscriber’s. Password!”
- unclesam - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:31 pm:
“No son…I am Illinois Policy.”
- Anonymous - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:31 pm:
“Just carry a big stick, the rest comes easy”
- AJ_yooper - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:31 pm:
I’m wondering, “why would IPI have an error page?”
- Jeff Trigg - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:32 pm:
Looks like somebody needs a medical cannabis recommendation.
- Triple fat - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:32 pm:
Now that is what I call shakin things up at the Illinois Policy Institute. Don’t make me come back here!
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:32 pm:
Madigan reads @StatehouseChick’s Twitter…
- Stones - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:32 pm:
“Who is responsible for buy those Windows 8 computers!”
- Get a Job!! - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:33 pm:
“PC Load letter, what the **** does that mean?”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:33 pm:
The Speaker fails to grasp the concept of a Rauner caption contest on Capitol Fax.
- AC - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:34 pm:
That’s the last time I give Rich Miller free advertising by mentioning his blog multiple times during one of my press conferences!
- 47th Ward - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:34 pm:
Have all voted who wish? (smash!)
Have all voted who wish? (smash!)
Have all voted who wish? (smash!)
Take the record!
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:34 pm:
When you click 12 times on the Sun-Times page and still the article you want to read needs more clicks…
- Juvenal - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:34 pm:
“Unfortunately for Apple, Madigan hits much better than the Cubs”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:35 pm:
“Comments. Are. Closed. Until. Tuesday?!?!?”
- 47th Ward - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:36 pm:
“You’re not helping.”
- funny how? - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:36 pm:
Couldn’t he have just gotten the legislators he controls to do that for him?
- walker - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:37 pm:
“I got your compromise right here.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:37 pm:
When “ck” accidentally sends a memo to the “wrong” email…
- funny how? - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:37 pm:
Bruuucieeeee, come out to plaaaaaay
- Skeptic - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:38 pm:
“The IT guy told me this is how *they* fix problems!”
- Wensicia - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:38 pm:
“Just try planting a bug in my office equipment again, FBI, I am not Blago!”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:38 pm:
When Goldberg steals your “closing”…
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:39 pm:
“What happened?”
“The big paperweight beeped!”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:39 pm:
When the concept of Skype is lost on some…
- AC - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:40 pm:
Repairs still haven’t been completed at Rauner’s office since his last meeting with Madigan.
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:40 pm:
I told you I do not use email.
Stop. Asking.
- olddog - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:41 pm:
You’ll be fine.
- AC - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:42 pm:
Governor, how do you like those Apples?
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:43 pm:
“I know how to stop people watching session on computers…
…
… That’s one down… “
- Wensicia - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:45 pm:
“I told Miller that statement was OFF THE RECORD!!”
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:47 pm:
==“The big paperweight beeped!”==
Close comments for the weekend. Everyone go home. @OW wins.
- Yobogoya - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:49 pm:
Stop (huff) being (huff) extreme (wheeze)
- Cook County Commoner - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:49 pm:
Call me extreme, do you?
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:51 pm:
This IS me ==compromising==.
- siriusly - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:53 pm:
If I break all their computers it will stop them from drawing exaggerated satirical cartoons of me.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:53 pm:
Thanks - FKA -
“Caption?”
When Brown says stress relief clears the head…
- A Jack - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:53 pm:
Madigan demonstrates “The Chicago Way” to those snarky superstar tweeters.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:54 pm:
When Lollapalooza online tickets sell out before someone gets theirs…
- A guy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:54 pm:
Now someone tell me where the things called servers are, and then get me a bat big enough to destroy a cloud.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:55 pm:
When Jack Franks tweets he won’t vote for a tax increase…
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 2:57 pm:
When Gov. Rauner tweets “Speaker Madigan and the legislator he controls… ” …
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:03 pm:
Computers break and get old. There is nothing uncommon about replacing a basic necessity for the state to function.
To do so, we are going to need
a capital bill
a tax increase
a minimum of 5 no-bid contracts
- Austin Blvd - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:06 pm:
This is how many feel about the Rauner/IPI Compact.
- The Unknown Poster - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:06 pm:
Computers? I don’t need no stinking computers
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:06 pm:
- Streator Curmudgeon -, sorry, I didbg see your Skype comment.
“Caption?”
When you computer has one two many “Fire Madigan!” Pop-ups
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:08 pm:
When someone “ReBoots” the @SpeakerMadigan Twitter…
- Former Titan - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:08 pm:
Anyone else got a help desk complaint?
- zatoichi - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:09 pm:
Oops.
- 47th Ward - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:10 pm:
Look at me. I did this to you. Remember me!
- MrJM - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:10 pm:
“No! No! NO! You stupid, stupid Skynet! I said I wanted the return of the Machine, not the Rise of the Machines!”
– MrJM
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:10 pm:
“Your Honor, as you can see by the artist rendition, my client was just trying to… recalibrate… not destroy state property
- Bored Chairman - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:10 pm:
“Banned for life?!! I’ll give you banned for life!!!”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:12 pm:
When you find out someone guessed your password was “password”…
- A guy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:12 pm:
When a guy who isn’t too computer savvy doesn’t know how to turn down the sound on Miller’s Good Morning videos.
- Bored Chairman - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:12 pm:
Who the #*%+ found out my pseudonym is Oswego Willy?
- RoPo Ranger - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:12 pm:
Mr. Speaker after learning that the governor vetoed the apple budget.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:13 pm:
When Saputo’s goes to online ordering, and the “hour glass” keeps spinning…
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:21 pm:
When you lose an online bid on EBay to user “ILCarharttGov42″
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:22 pm:
When you look up “Citizens For Rauner” on the Board of Elections website and the end balance is…
“Way more than you Speaker, way more”
- Triple fat - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:28 pm:
So I asked the CMS IT guy, ‘How can I get an updated computer?’ He suggested that a spill a soft drink on the CPU… But then I realized that I don’t drink soft drinks.
- A guy - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:33 pm:
From what I’ve read here, those computers look too modern for the state. The Speaker busted up the wrong place.
- WhoKnew - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:36 pm:
==When CONTROL-ALT-DELETE doesn’t solve the budget impasse…=
Just “Hit any key to continue…..”
- Jack - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 3:43 pm:
If Madigan smashes our computers, we’d rather he say sorry, pay for a replacement, and go to counseling than go to jail.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 4:21 pm:
When your BFF sends you one too many cute cat videos.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 4:24 pm:
A few weeks ago, after the AG caption contest on Cap Fax.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 4:27 pm:
The Speaker attempts to put the Bambino’s Hex on ILGOP HQ.
- Enviro - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 4:30 pm:
Someone had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
- Formerly Known As... - Friday, Aug 7, 15 @ 4:43 pm:
==You can’t sue the GA for violating the Constitution if your office has no computers!==
==Dad, you know we can always get more, right?==
- Rich Miller - Sunday, Aug 9, 15 @ 5:16 pm:
Bruce, I want you to know… that I try. When Tim and the staff at the House tell me that I’m supposed to control my violent temper, and be passive and nonviolent like they are, I try. I really try. Though when I see this union… of such a beautiful spirit… so degraded… and this union… that I love… sprawled out by this big ape here… and this little union, who is so special to us we call her “God’s little gift of sunshine”… and I think of the number of years that she’s going to have to carry in her memory… the savagery of this idiotic moment of yours… I just go BERSERK!