I think it’s always a good idea to start these meetings with introductions. Let’s just go around and give our name and title, so that we can ‘network’ later.
- Rahm's Parking Meter - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:22 pm:
MJM to Rauner - excuse me what was that about Unions? I Missed that!
Rauner : Ah well, let’s get down to business.
We are all honorable here, we
don’t have to give assurances…
(Rauner sits, gazes out
at them, and sighs)
How did things ever go so far?
Well, no matter. A lot of
foolishness has come to pass. It
was so unfortunate, so unnecessary.
Rauner: The Speaker has lost some votes; I have
lost some votes. We are quits. Let
there be a peace…
(he gestures
expressively,
submissively, with
his hands)
That is all I want…
The reading of the will went well until one of the brothers let loose with a loud noseblow. At that point old family grievances dominated the gathering.
OK, now I see that my anti-union agenda and refusal to fulfill my constitutional duty to prepare a balanced budget were terrible mistakes. My bad. It was entirely my fault, and I apologize for all the hardship and pain I’ve caused to our state. Things are going to change, starting NOW. Let’s roll up our sleeves and write that budget, for the good of the citizens of Illinois. We owe that to them. Are ya with me?
I brought an orange to do this fun thing to help build trust in our group.
I put the orange under my chin and hold it, then without using my hands, I need to pass the orange to Cullerton. Cullerton has to take the orange from under my chin without using my hands by using his chin.
And around the table we go!
Michael? Are you sick?
Well, then it’s probably not such a great idea.
BUT I did bring along a frozen spoon on a string for an alternative team building exercise!
One time, I bought this nursing home in Florida and had everyone fired, except for this one little lady who didn’t speak English well enough to understand that I fired her!
So anyone who thinks I don’t have a heart or any compassion hasn’t met Maria. I liked her so much I sold the nursing home to her a month later, whereby saving me about 9 million dollars.
Another time I bought this drug company that made this crazy-good medicine for newborns, but they were goin’ out of business and that good baby medicine was goin’ to be lost. So I made sure the price was increased so that the company could be saved. I personally saved the lives of every child with enough financial resources to buy that medicine and save their lives.
All I am askin’ is to have the not-extreme-ish reforms, we all need here in Illinois, get made into what you people are callin’ a bill and then if I’m not mistaken, then passed into what you high falutin’ corrupted pols call a law. How much will that cost me?
BR: “Is the room sealed? OK, get out the cards. Five card draw, I’ll open with increased revenues. How about you throw in collective bargaining, Mike.”
- No Longer A Lurker - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:09 pm:
BR: “Mr. Speaker. I have found that using a Neti Pot not only clears ones sinus problems but also clears ones mind. Perhaps we can schedule another meeting after you have a few Neti Pot treatments.”
Illinois House Speaker Michael Madigan (right) breaks down in tears as Governor Bruce Rauner goes over the fine points of his “Turnaround Agenda” with the state’s legislative leaders during a meeting in the Governor’s Office on Tuesday. “I just couldn’t take it anymore,” Madigan explained to reporters shortly after the meeting concluded, “It is truly the definition of insanity.”
Madigan in a last ditch effort covers his nose with his hankie, but to no avail. The bovine odor slipped through the fabric like a hot knife through butter.
“So we’re all agreed; the line of succession for governor should be Speaker, House Leader, Senate President, Senate Leader, and this line of succession sunsets… once Evelyn leaves HER office, right?”
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me Illinois’ most powerful politicians, and yet each of you has failed to kill off our debt or raise our bond rating. That makes me angry. And when Brucie gets angry, Evelyn gets upset. And when Evelyn gets upset… people DIE!
“Cullerton’s dwarf opens the door and inside are [rolls dice] nine orc warriors! Oh, stop pouting, Mike. They’re my 20-sided dice, so I get to be Dungeon Master!”
“Speaker, we’re all agreed. We compromised, heard all sides, look at the strengths, the record, even the polls… It’s Clemson, Alabama, Oklahoma, and Iowa… Notre Dame lost to Stanford… They’re out… “
“Speaker, I’m sorry I upset you. This wouldn’t happen at book club if you read the book. Jim? How does Jo grow? Does the title ‘Little Women’ speak to that growth?”
we cut salaries, hire poor workers, sell assests and make it look profitable, transfering the money in high salaries to a handful of my people. then we sell and get out sticking somone else with the collapse.
BR, “Ok so we agree. We give Cubit 2 years, and then we can hire a president, chancellor, AD, and THEN we can hire a REAL football coach at our flagship university.”
Let’s all resign for the good of the state and let Larry, Curly, Moe, Kermit and Ms Piggy run things. THEN the people will beg us to come back, at least I think they will.
Rauner: So we are driving up the street in Chicago and this kid on a bicycle is following alongside of us on the sidewalk. He is all excited to see the motorcade. So when we get to a red light I roll down the window to shake his hand. And that is when he yells out, “Hey look - it’s Mayor Emanuel!”
The daily comic Bizarro takes a break today, because the cartoonist yields to the greater lunacy of this image.
- Cook County Commoner - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:42 pm:
BR: If it wasn’t for me and my pals at the bond houses and hedge funds, your union scams would have sunk years ago. Now my pals want a bigger cut, and it’s up to all of us to convince taxpayers to pay up and like it.
Bruce holds his first meeting with all Four legislative leaders, forgets Rice Krispy treats. Diana watches her Ads for Bruve in a continuous loop at Ounce. Bruce’s New State Rep begins work in the House. Lance tweets pictures of the forgotten Rice Krispy treats, “ck” tries to get a positive quote from Susan Garrett. Comedy, 58 minutes.
I felt Durkins comments really seemed to be spot on! But as long as Rauner lets Quins people run the state transportation and road projects with illegal hires, the gov seems to be peeing in the wind.
- CrookCounty60827 - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 5:47 pm:
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:20 pm:
I think it’s always a good idea to start these meetings with introductions. Let’s just go around and give our name and title, so that we can ‘network’ later.
- Rahm's Parking Meter - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:22 pm:
MJM to Rauner - excuse me what was that about Unions? I Missed that!
- hank kissinger - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:23 pm:
“Speaker, are you listening?”
“No”
- D.P.Gumby - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:23 pm:
MJM–”I always tear up when he starts talking about his extreme political agenda…I just can’t help it…”
- AC - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:24 pm:
Lectures of the Leaders
- Bogey Golfer - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:24 pm:
“If I don’t have my apple, the sinuses clog.”
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:25 pm:
Now that we were able to agree on the size of the desk, lets move on to the next agenda item ‘air temp’.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:25 pm:
Rauner : Ah well, let’s get down to business.
We are all honorable here, we
don’t have to give assurances…
(Rauner sits, gazes out
at them, and sighs)
How did things ever go so far?
Well, no matter. A lot of
foolishness has come to pass. It
was so unfortunate, so unnecessary.
- AC - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:25 pm:
Progress is finally made, when everyone agrees that the conference table is made of wood, or a similar material
- Tony - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:26 pm:
“The press release on how it’s all Mike’s fault for the failure of today’s meeting was sent out 10 minutes ago so we should be able to start on time”
- Keyrock - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:27 pm:
Overnor Rauner — “I can help you find the missin’ revenue if you help me find the missin’ “G’s —
and help me break all the unions in the State.”
- Union Man - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:27 pm:
Great photo op!! Now let’s do lunch!
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:27 pm:
Rauner: The Speaker has lost some votes; I have
lost some votes. We are quits. Let
there be a peace…
(he gestures
expressively,
submissively, with
his hands)
That is all I want…
- danray - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:28 pm:
MJM: “Mapes said this chloroform would kick
in immediately!!”
- Henry Francis - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:30 pm:
MJM’s allergic reaction to __________.
- Lt. Guv. - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:30 pm:
Go Fish!
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:30 pm:
Did Goldberg warm his hands first,before searching you for a wire?
- WhoKnew - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:30 pm:
Kinda’ hard to determine who has on their Big Boy/Girl pants from this angle!
- PublicServant - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:30 pm:
I only want 3 things:
1. World Peace
2. Prosperity for all
3. A chicken in every pot
- JS Mill - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:31 pm:
MJM: “Sorry, I am allergic to parrots and sock puppets.”
- Lt. Guv. - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:32 pm:
Who let HER into the “He Man Woman Hater Club?”
- JS Mill - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:33 pm:
Durkin to Radogno- “Christine, can you swap seats with me? It is easier for the boss to work my strings if I sit next to him.”
- illinoised - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:33 pm:
“So, how was everybody’s Thanksgiving?”
- walker - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:33 pm:
Beginners’ Table
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:35 pm:
Oops your two chairs are behind me facing the wall
- wordslinger - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:36 pm:
BR: “And all I ask is three teeny-weeny things…”
MM: (cough, cough, “Eat Me”, cough, cough).
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:36 pm:
Is that a white flag your waving Mike?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:37 pm:
“I wanted Evelyn to sit in today but she’s not up to speed how it all works, you know, gettin’ a budget passed, so we’ll just start…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:38 pm:
“So we’re all agreed, no Press leaks… Everything stays in this room… “
- Team Sleep - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:39 pm:
Madigan and the tissues he destroys…
- Beaner - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:40 pm:
Rauner: We need to keep this photo op brief, so I can travel out of State for an important Wine Club meeting.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:41 pm:
“… Then I’ll speak to the press last, since I’m governor… K?… ‘Chief’?… ‘Speaker’?… You got that?… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:42 pm:
“Ok, seriously… Who are we all going to nominate for the next Golden Horseshoe?”
- zatoichi - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:42 pm:
The reading of the will went well until one of the brothers let loose with a loud noseblow. At that point old family grievances dominated the gathering.
- sad - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:43 pm:
Before we begin, let us all be thankful we are not Rahm.
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:44 pm:
Mike blowing your nose in the turnaround agenda some kinda sign?
- A guy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:45 pm:
Pass the taters.
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:46 pm:
Rauner:
“To show you that I have nothing to hide, I have chosen to forego trousers during this entire meeting.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:46 pm:
“The invasion of Missouri commences in 15 minutes. No turning back now…”
- Casual observer - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:46 pm:
MJM hiding his laugh behind a hankie:
When will the governor learn that rule of gambling? When you bet against the house, the house always wins.
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:47 pm:
Open mic right after our secret meeting
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:47 pm:
I have indeed, brought along a couple of prairie chickens for this part of our meeting.
- IllinoisBoi - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:48 pm:
OK, now I see that my anti-union agenda and refusal to fulfill my constitutional duty to prepare a balanced budget were terrible mistakes. My bad. It was entirely my fault, and I apologize for all the hardship and pain I’ve caused to our state. Things are going to change, starting NOW. Let’s roll up our sleeves and write that budget, for the good of the citizens of Illinois. We owe that to them. Are ya with me?
–Alternate Universe Rauner
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:52 pm:
What are you doing here I said dunkin not durkin?
- Louis G. Atsaves - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:54 pm:
“The State Funeral Arrangements are as Follows.”
- Info - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:54 pm:
Madigan: “No one is going to say God Bless You?”
Rauner: “I won’t be commenting to the media on that sneeze at this time.”
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:54 pm:
I brought an orange to do this fun thing to help build trust in our group.
I put the orange under my chin and hold it, then without using my hands, I need to pass the orange to Cullerton. Cullerton has to take the orange from under my chin without using my hands by using his chin.
And around the table we go!
Michael? Are you sick?
Well, then it’s probably not such a great idea.
BUT I did bring along a frozen spoon on a string for an alternative team building exercise!
- Loop Lady - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:56 pm:
Madigan: But you said there’d be apples…
- wordslinger - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:56 pm:
BR: “Before we get started, none of you are a Syrian orphan, are you? Because they scare the willies out of me….”
- Quizzical - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:57 pm:
OK I’ll go first. I once stole an I-Pod from Ken Griffin.
What about you, Mike? Truth or dare?
- Casual observer - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:57 pm:
MJM: if I cover my eyes, I swear I can hear Rod talking.
- My FiNgErS HuRt - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:58 pm:
Madigan blew it.
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:59 pm:
One time, I bought this nursing home in Florida and had everyone fired, except for this one little lady who didn’t speak English well enough to understand that I fired her!
So anyone who thinks I don’t have a heart or any compassion hasn’t met Maria. I liked her so much I sold the nursing home to her a month later, whereby saving me about 9 million dollars.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 12:59 pm:
“The goal here is really to say nothing the voters will expect us to… actually do,… so… let’s keep it to 10 minutes each, just to be safe…”
- Mouthy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:00 pm:
“Tweedledee Dee Tweedledee Dumb”..
- Commander Norton - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:02 pm:
Radogno: “How dare you say we haven’t been meeting? We’ve been meeting so often I gave the Speaker my cold!”
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:02 pm:
Another time I bought this drug company that made this crazy-good medicine for newborns, but they were goin’ out of business and that good baby medicine was goin’ to be lost. So I made sure the price was increased so that the company could be saved. I personally saved the lives of every child with enough financial resources to buy that medicine and save their lives.
But hey, am I braggin’ about it?
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:04 pm:
Let’s just vote on everything now and I’ll be the tie breaker
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:05 pm:
All I am askin’ is to have the not-extreme-ish reforms, we all need here in Illinois, get made into what you people are callin’ a bill and then if I’m not mistaken, then passed into what you high falutin’ corrupted pols call a law. How much will that cost me?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:06 pm:
“So we all agree; all written notes during this meeting will be written in blue ink… “
- Loop Lady - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:07 pm:
Completing Henry Francis: negotiation…
- Wensicia - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:09 pm:
BR: “Is the room sealed? OK, get out the cards. Five card draw, I’ll open with increased revenues. How about you throw in collective bargaining, Mike.”
- No Longer A Lurker - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:09 pm:
BR: “Mr. Speaker. I have found that using a Neti Pot not only clears ones sinus problems but also clears ones mind. Perhaps we can schedule another meeting after you have a few Neti Pot treatments.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:10 pm:
Rauner, “We need to wrap this up soon, I have to stage a few Springfield selfie shots… “
- Formerly Known As... - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:12 pm:
St Bruce performing another miracle as the Child-Emperor Madigan wipes his nose with anything anyone else has to say.
- Deep South - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:12 pm:
Illinois House Speaker Michael Madigan (right) breaks down in tears as Governor Bruce Rauner goes over the fine points of his “Turnaround Agenda” with the state’s legislative leaders during a meeting in the Governor’s Office on Tuesday. “I just couldn’t take it anymore,” Madigan explained to reporters shortly after the meeting concluded, “It is truly the definition of insanity.”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:13 pm:
Will all have equal time GOP 40 minutes and you can have the rest of the hour
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:13 pm:
So - who’s up for a really funny story?
- Speaker Madigan - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:13 pm:
I see alot of photoshop opportunities here. Maybe the old “dogs playing” poker treatment.
- Formerly Known As... - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:14 pm:
No one knew at the time that Madigan’s sneeze was the most noise he would make during the meeting.
- Henry Francis - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:16 pm:
Someone tell Goldberg this is what a real sham meeting looks like.
- Ahoy! - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:16 pm:
Adele starts playing during the leadership meeting driving Speaker Madigan to tears.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:17 pm:
“Leader Durkin, please repeat the taking points I gave you now… “
- Cheswick - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:18 pm:
And the next day the rest of them came down with colds.
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:19 pm:
“John, you can go ahead and keep your notebook away. You’ve heard all this baloney before so no need for notes.”
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:19 pm:
Who’s up for a van ride?
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:19 pm:
Muffled sneeze …. ” B— S—” choo.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:19 pm:
“If Speaker Madigan can stop practicing on his harmonica ,we can begin…”
- crazybleedingheart - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:19 pm:
LOL @ danray
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:20 pm:
Madigan in a last ditch effort covers his nose with his hankie, but to no avail. The bovine odor slipped through the fabric like a hot knife through butter.
- Cheswick - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:21 pm:
Rauner: “Mike, you’ve got health insurance. You should go do the doctor for that. Oh, wait…”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:21 pm:
Hey long time no see May day in December
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:21 pm:
MJM: I came here for a good argument!
BR: AH, no you didn’t, you came here for an argument!
MJM: An argument isn’t just contradiction.
BR: Well! it CAN be!
MJM: No it can’t! An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
BR: No it isn’t!
MJM: Yes it is! ’tisn’t just contradiction.
BR: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!
MJM: Yes but it isn’t just saying ‘no it isn’t’.
BR: Yes it is!
MJM: No it isn’t!
BR: Yes it is!
MJM: No it isn’t!
BR: Yes it is!
MJM: No it ISN’T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
BR: It is NOT!
MJM: It is!
- Dinsdale - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:22 pm:
The remake of “Twelve Angry Men” . (This program has been edited for format, length, and content)
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:22 pm:
Lets go around the room and play a little game I like to call “Guess who planted THAT primary opponent”.
- Dinsdale - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:23 pm:
How about a FRESCA!
- Sense of a goose - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:23 pm:
I’m sorry. Sniff sniff. It’s been so long since we’ve been together, I’m at a loss. Sniff sniff. It’s so good to be with you again. Sniff honk. MJM
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:23 pm:
“So we’re all agreed; the line of succession for governor should be Speaker, House Leader, Senate President, Senate Leader, and this line of succession sunsets… once Evelyn leaves HER office, right?”
- Ha - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:24 pm:
Henry Francis for the win
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:25 pm:
“Evelyn wanted to be here, I just flat out told her ‘No!’… “
- Casual observer - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:26 pm:
Rauner: per the speaker’s suggestion, I actually wore a tie today. Not sure why but he kept insisting it should be purple.
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:28 pm:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me Illinois’ most powerful politicians, and yet each of you has failed to kill off our debt or raise our bond rating. That makes me angry. And when Brucie gets angry, Evelyn gets upset. And when Evelyn gets upset… people DIE!
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:28 pm:
“When you all leave, don’t forget the gift bags… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:30 pm:
“So we all agree to rule out Col. Mustard, Miss Scarlett, Professor Plum… the kitchen… the…the study, yes… and the library…”
- MrJM - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:31 pm:
“Cullerton’s dwarf opens the door and inside are [rolls dice] nine orc warriors! Oh, stop pouting, Mike. They’re my 20-sided dice, so I get to be Dungeon Master!”
– MrJM
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:33 pm:
“I think naming your Fantasy Baseball team ‘Slip and Sue’s Sluggers’ is a bit snarky, but that’s your choice… Ok, first pick… “
- Tsavo - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:35 pm:
Senator Cullerton, “No Bruce I am not going to open my notebook and take notes and you can’t make me”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:35 pm:
“Ok, the musical guest this week is Tim McGraw, our host is Jason Bateman, let’s start with the Monologue… “
- Ducky LaMoore - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:36 pm:
More or less productive that this meeting…?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXXNrHpaQ3k
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:36 pm:
GooGoo clusters for everyone
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:38 pm:
“Speaker, we’re all agreed. We compromised, heard all sides, look at the strengths, the record, even the polls… It’s Clemson, Alabama, Oklahoma, and Iowa… Notre Dame lost to Stanford… They’re out… “
- ChicagoVinny - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:41 pm:
Madigan establishes a Right-to-Sneeze zone
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:43 pm:
“Speaker, I’m sorry I upset you. This wouldn’t happen at book club if you read the book. Jim? How does Jo grow? Does the title ‘Little Women’ speak to that growth?”
- scholar athlete - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:45 pm:
@Wordslinger at 12:36 NAILS it! And then tops himself with his encore at 12:56. Well played, sir…as usual.
- Jake From Elwood - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:53 pm:
Agreement is reached on one abiding principal: Roland Burris must be kept out of state government.
- Jake From Elwood - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:57 pm:
To my left are Grumpy and Sneezy; to my right we have Bashful and Sleepy. Looks like we’re just missing Doc and Happy!
- Ducky LaMoore - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 1:59 pm:
===Agreement is reached on one abiding principal: Roland Burris must be kept out of state government.===
This whole mess actually makes ole Winnie the Pooh Burris seem almost competent. Almost.
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 2:15 pm:
Any ideas for next months state of union address?
- Ghost - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 2:15 pm:
we cut salaries, hire poor workers, sell assests and make it look profitable, transfering the money in high salaries to a handful of my people. then we sell and get out sticking somone else with the collapse.
- Big Joe - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 2:17 pm:
BR, “Ok so we agree. We give Cubit 2 years, and then we can hire a president, chancellor, AD, and THEN we can hire a REAL football coach at our flagship university.”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 2:18 pm:
Let’s all resign for the good of the state and let Larry, Curly, Moe, Kermit and Ms Piggy run things. THEN the people will beg us to come back, at least I think they will.
- wordslinger - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 2:22 pm:
BR: “I’ve got it! I know this old confused dude in a wheelchair we can lay off the whole mess on! I’ve used him before….”
- Crafty Girl - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 2:25 pm:
Rauner: “If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season….”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 2:25 pm:
Welcome to the first day of primary season , I’m going to be dropping a lot of G’s
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 2:33 pm:
You greening me mike?
- walker - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 2:33 pm:
“Let’s set aside the budget for a moment.”
- More Courage - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 2:42 pm:
Rauner: So we are driving up the street in Chicago and this kid on a bicycle is following alongside of us on the sidewalk. He is all excited to see the motorcade. So when we get to a red light I roll down the window to shake his hand. And that is when he yells out, “Hey look - it’s Mayor Emanuel!”
Speaker: Gets me everything!
- Mittuns - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 2:53 pm:
Worst. Thanksgiving. Ever.
“Jim, would you pass the blame down over hwre”?”
- Dale Cooper - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 3:30 pm:
“Here we are meeting again, like we’ve met many times before.”
- ottawa otter - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 3:34 pm:
Progress, this time Madigan wiped his nose with the Turn Around Agenda
- Cook street - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 3:39 pm:
Even f it took 5 to change a light bulb, this gang would still be in the dark.
- Sue - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 3:41 pm:
I suppose you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here today.
- Huh? - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 3:48 pm:
Speaker - I knew I was allergic to this guy and I took benadryl ahead of time, but my sinuses were just killing me.
- Formerpol - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 3:59 pm:
“Whose deal? Mr. Speaker, do you want to cut the cards, or do you trust me?”
- sal-says - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:03 pm:
Raunner: “Who said they want me to stand up so you can see my $600 designer jeans?”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:16 pm:
“Mike, if you’re going to hide your face for the photo, that file folder would work better than a hanky.”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:20 pm:
Mr. Madigan, in an effort to avoid sniffing the hypocrisy in the room, encased his nose in a cloth saturated with Vicks Vapo-Rub.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:22 pm:
BR: “Christine, I am truly hurt that you didn’t bring espressos for the rest of the group.”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:23 pm:
BR: “Mike, if you start reading that file of printouts of Capitol Fax caption contests about me, I’m going to send you a couple tuna filets.”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:24 pm:
BR: “Mike, I know you’re an apple man, but I’ve found Metamucil works really well for me.”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:27 pm:
BR: “So then Trump’s lawyer says to me, ‘Bruce, a budget impasse in Illinois would be HUGE, HUGE, I tell ya.’”
- Mama - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:32 pm:
OW - we need another “Daddy’s Home” HBO special.
- South Central - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:38 pm:
The daily comic Bizarro takes a break today, because the cartoonist yields to the greater lunacy of this image.
- Cook County Commoner - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:42 pm:
BR: If it wasn’t for me and my pals at the bond houses and hedge funds, your union scams would have sunk years ago. Now my pals want a bigger cut, and it’s up to all of us to convince taxpayers to pay up and like it.
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:42 pm:
What destruction of state property I only sawed the legs off on mike’s chair
- Buddy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:43 pm:
Hello I’m Brian Fellows
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:44 pm:
Dogs Playing Poker.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 4:51 pm:
HBO - “Dad’s Home State” - Season 2, Episide 2
Bruce holds his first meeting with all Four legislative leaders, forgets Rice Krispy treats. Diana watches her Ads for Bruve in a continuous loop at Ounce. Bruce’s New State Rep begins work in the House. Lance tweets pictures of the forgotten Rice Krispy treats, “ck” tries to get a positive quote from Susan Garrett. Comedy, 58 minutes.
- Independent retiree/lawyer/journalist - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 5:03 pm:
And Madigan finished blowing his nose, shook his head, looked at the governor and said, “Bruce, listening to you, I am…verklempt…”
- Ha - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 5:11 pm:
Santa is real!
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 5:12 pm:
The comptroller send cookies,but Goldberg ate them
- dottie I. - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 5:45 pm:
I felt Durkins comments really seemed to be spot on! But as long as Rauner lets Quins people run the state transportation and road projects with illegal hires, the gov seems to be peeing in the wind.
- CrookCounty60827 - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 5:47 pm:
BR: “I didn’t get a ‘Harumph!” outta you people!…
- Mongo - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 6:02 pm:
sorry if others said this, I just saw it. This is the perfect fake sneeze opportunity to say…
wait…
Bllllsssshhhhtttt
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 6:09 pm:
You democrats are always snotty
- siriusly - Wednesday, Dec 2, 15 @ 8:56 pm:
BR “Christine, no you cannot have some coffee. Coffee is for closers!”