….and that’s when I said “Bruce, you see that glow flashing in the corner of your eye? That’s your career dissipation light. It just went into high gear.”
- Man with a plan - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:52 pm:
And then you take it out of the oven after about ten minutes, and you will have the tastiest casserole North of the Mason-Dixon line.
Speaker Madigan, having recently taken inspiration from a Jeff Dunham show but having forgotten his sock puppet at the office, introduces his new ‘character’….Governor Epic Fail
….and that’s when I said to Bruce “Ok. But now the itch starts. The ‘Runaground Agenda’ flash starts. ‘Hey, I’m a Reformer. Reformers don’t just stand around.’ You can tell me, that’s what it was, wasn’t it?”
Rauner held up his hand and said if I don’t talk about the TA agenda,he’s going to use the Pai Mei’s five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique. He was disappointed when I laughed and told him it was movie fiction.
“So Chuck Goudie is staking out the Ward office. Again. And it’s like 6 am, and he and his driver are asleep. So… I sneak up on the car, the guys, still asleep.. I rap on the window, ‘bam, bam, bam’! and I say ‘Ok Goudie. Lets go for a ride!’…
“You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. And like that, poof. He’s gone.”
“So I’m trying to put the new battery in the smoke detectors… but they’re the small watch batteries… And I’m being so ginger trying to but the battery in, just like this…”
- Cubs in '16 - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:38 pm:
THIS is how much I trust the Governor.
- Allen D - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:40 pm:
it was this BIG…. that’s all this BIG i tell you.
- CharlieKratos - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:41 pm:
Seriously! You can tell, because he has small hands, just like Trump!
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:42 pm:
….and that’s when I said “Bruce, no matter how many ‘pants on fire’ whoppers you tell the Fire Fighters Union isn’t going to come running to you!”
- PublicServant - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:42 pm:
This is how to knock on doors. Urge your members to do so before November.
- Give Me A Break - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:43 pm:
This is the chance the Turnaround Agenda has in the House.
- Huh? - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:43 pm:
See this, this is how much of a chance that the governor has of passing his agenda.
I’ve talked to the governor and found out that this is how much compassion he has for the people who are most in need of state services.
I’ve figured out that this is how much the governor knows about his job.
- Beaner - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:44 pm:
The Speaker uses ASL communication skills when the scheduled Interpreter for the Deaf was unable to attend the luncheon.
- Huh? - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:46 pm:
Guy to Madigan’s right - one more word and I win the buzz word bingo. How close is anyone else to filling the board?
- Huh? - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:47 pm:
Guy at far left of Madigan - zzzzzzz
- Huh? - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:51 pm:
Guy at far left of Madigan - Oh geez, a CapFax caption contest.
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:51 pm:
….and that’s when I said “Bruce, you see that glow flashing in the corner of your eye? That’s your career dissipation light. It just went into high gear.”
- Man with a plan - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:52 pm:
And then you take it out of the oven after about ten minutes, and you will have the tastiest casserole North of the Mason-Dixon line.
- Cubs in '16 - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:52 pm:
So I’ve been trying to teach Bruce how not to speak like a goober. I say “Bruce, it’s a hard G”. winninG…turninG
- Cheswick - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:54 pm:
And so I says to Gov. Rauner,
Knock three times if you want to do a budget.
Knock twice if the answer is no.
- Anonymouth - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:58 pm:
Mike Madigan is “Boom Shaka Laka”
- Cubs in '16 - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 2:59 pm:
Speaker Madigan, having recently taken inspiration from a Jeff Dunham show but having forgotten his sock puppet at the office, introduces his new ‘character’….Governor Epic Fail
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 3:07 pm:
….and that’s when I said to Bruce “Ok. But now the itch starts. The ‘Runaground Agenda’ flash starts. ‘Hey, I’m a Reformer. Reformers don’t just stand around.’ You can tell me, that’s what it was, wasn’t it?”
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 3:15 pm:
So I said to him, “if you don’t understand plain English, I’ll use sign language.” And then I did this, and this. That spells NO Governor.
- @MisterJayEm - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 3:22 pm:
“And that’s when the old man told me, ‘You have the bone structure and chi flow of a kung-fu genius.’”
– MrJM
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 3:24 pm:
So I showed him my old card from Local 211 and I said, “from my cold, dead hand Governor.”
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 3:28 pm:
That joke would be funnier if I remembered to bring the dummy, but you get the idea.
- Bronco Bahma - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 3:32 pm:
“The only ‘turnaround’ the Governor is gonna get from me is when I ‘turn around’ this hand and raise one of my fingers.”
- Wensicia - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 4:02 pm:
So, the governor asked me if he could slip his Turnaround Agenda into new budget talks and I said, “First, slip through this.”
- Jake From Elwood - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 4:07 pm:
Madigan demonstrates the chokehold that he has over the General Assembly while the firefighters watch him burn out of control.
- Norseman - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 4:18 pm:
Rauner held up his hand and said if I don’t talk about the TA agenda,he’s going to use the Pai Mei’s five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique. He was disappointed when I laughed and told him it was movie fiction.
- Mama - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 4:44 pm:
I told the governor I will never pass a budget at the expense of IL’s middle class people.
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 5:08 pm:
I like to wear my pants up high, with the belt about this far below my armpits.
- Gert Frobe - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 5:53 pm:
“Talk to the hand, Bruce.”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 7:16 pm:
Status Quo and higher taxes all the way!
- Arthur Andersen - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:31 pm:
“This is how long Rich Miller worked for me.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:38 pm:
“Just a pinch of cinnamon on the apple crisp, just a pinch… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:39 pm:
“… and I knocked on the door… quiet-like. ‘Terrence Goggin?’ I whispered…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:41 pm:
“What you’re looking at is the only ‘Circular Firing Squad’ decoder ring known to be in existence… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:42 pm:
“Now, everyone knows Tarrantino is crazy, but when he showed me how to do the five point exploding heart grip… this… that’ll blow anyone’s mind… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:44 pm:
“No. Like this. Say it with me ‘In Mod. Er. Ay. Shun’… Just like that… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:45 pm:
“So I sloewly, very carefully, lift… Ken Dunkin’s voting key out of his desk… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:48 pm:
“So Chuck Goudie is staking out the Ward office. Again. And it’s like 6 am, and he and his driver are asleep. So… I sneak up on the car, the guys, still asleep.. I rap on the window, ‘bam, bam, bam’! and I say ‘Ok Goudie. Lets go for a ride!’…
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:51 pm:
“So I line the up the ole seat name plates… Hassert, Saviano, now Dunkin… and admire my work… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:53 pm:
“You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. And like that, poof. He’s gone.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:55 pm:
“So I’m trying to put the new battery in the smoke detectors… but they’re the small watch batteries… And I’m being so ginger trying to but the battery in, just like this…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 9:58 pm:
“So, I’m drawing the new map, myself, and I saying, ‘Yes, this house’ and ‘No, not that house’ as I cut up these streets… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 11:18 pm:
“And I took my pen, and I signed my name, right under ‘With kindest personal regards, I remain, sincerely yours’… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 11:24 pm:
“Remember, dot your “i’s” and cross your “t’s”… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 11:26 pm:
“So I took that piece of paper the Governor gave me and I said, ‘Mr. Rauner, it says M.O.U., and I wrote in the air ‘M.O.U.’, so he understood… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 11:28 pm:
“So I looked at my draft list of players, scanned down, then crossed out Adam LaRoche, just like this.., “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Apr 13, 16 @ 11:30 pm:
“So on the glass part of the TelePrompTer I wrote… ‘Thanks for the opponent’…because Rauner kept pretending he didn’t hear me…”
- Rabid - Thursday, Apr 14, 16 @ 12:02 am:
I’m introducing a new bill ” the Goldberg ” to help stop bridge fires
- Rabid - Thursday, Apr 14, 16 @ 12:07 am:
This is how you rip the guts out of the turnaround agenda
- Rabid - Thursday, Apr 14, 16 @ 12:12 am:
Firemen fire Madigan
- Rabid - Thursday, Apr 14, 16 @ 12:16 am:
Next years st Patrick parade committee
- Rabid - Thursday, Apr 14, 16 @ 12:23 am:
I’m going to pass this around, don’t bogart
- Rabid - Thursday, Apr 14, 16 @ 12:32 am:
Negotiation over I played rock govenor played scissor
- Rabid - Thursday, Apr 14, 16 @ 12:36 am:
How to cook the governor’s goose at the fireman’s breakfast
- Rabid - Thursday, Apr 14, 16 @ 1:10 am:
Let’s circle the mansion and blow the fire trucks air horns
- Rabid - Thursday, Apr 14, 16 @ 8:33 am:
House firefighters