I could really go for a donut. I wonder if Durkin would bring me a donut …. i gave him all that money … i think i’m going to tell him to bring me a donut
“And they are: Cop, construction worker and Indian chief outfits to compliment my ‘biker’ and ‘cowboy’ costumes. Also, McCann’s seat. And world peace. Is that five?”
“I don’t want to keep hurtin’ Illinois, just absolutely purposely hurtin’ Illinois, don’t want to do it, but I feel I owe to Illinois to punish thus state. It pains me, but… “
Maybe somebody can help me understand the continued focus on pension reform. I understand it is a big part of the budget. I understand that there may be a slight chance that the “consideration” aspect of contract law could allow a workaround if workers voluntarily agree to forego their current pension. But how does this save money? Just how many state employees are going to forego their constitutionally protected pension to take something of lessor value, that will also save the state significant amounts of money? Or is this just all for show? Any enlightenment would be appreciated.
“Maybe 44 points in my TAA was a bit of an overreach so I will just continue to be hypocritical and continue my campaigning on only 5 points. But don’t ever expect me to give detailed reasons, or ever prepared a budget. Campaigning is too much fun to bother with governing.”
Bruce ponders why he can’t get his agenda passed, approved more hammering and shaking of those that he disagrees with through the holidays. Diana plans holiday parties for work, decides inviting people laid off from social service organizations might not be good form. Diana’s State Employee continued to track state funding to endangered social service groups. Lance tweets pictures of marijuana plants decorated for the holidays, “ck” sends out an email touting the backlog of bills is still below $11 billion, Goldberg writes a letter to Fenwick Football. Comedy, 67 minutes.
- NeverPoliticallyCorrect - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:15 pm:
“4 more reps, that’s it?” Time for me to go, obviously Illinois voters don’t give a damn about changing.
“Governor, are you sure you want to highlight the closing of EIU? Maybe you putting up the boards covering a window isn’t the best idea. Think about it over Thanksgiving… “
“Hey how come Nikki Haley gets a sweet job in NY and I get nothin’ ? I never P* on the guy like she did and we got all our “insiders” helpin’.
It just isn’t fair. Boo Hoo Better get Durkie over here so I can boss him around.
“Governor, don’t be glum, you now only need 9 more seats… “
- Don't Call Us, Will Call You - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:37 pm:
I had to explain to Trump who I was and where Illinois is. I said it was the blue state bordered by the red states of Indiana, Kentucky, Missouri, Iowa and Wisconsin.
“Governor, I suggest when the polls close we issue a press release saying the 1 seat win is what we expect and how huge that is against Madigan. That way we won’t look foolish, like we have no idea what’s happening… “
“Governor, the YMCA said that was fine, they will wait until January to take your name off the building, and they agreed not to have a press conference or press release. So, that’s good… “
“Governor, don’t worry, AFSCME will strike and get real angry and you’ll get to give that speech. We promise. It just may be a bit longer, that’s all… “
“The next time the comptroller holds a press conference to tell everybody how absolutely horrible the fiscal status of the government is… where am I going to eat breakfast…?”
- Leave it to BVR - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:44 pm:
“Alright, I’ve got my Labor Board ready to put out their little memo around 4:45. Then I’ve got my superstar lawyers ready to drop the hammer with my contract at 4:55. And the best part is, I don’t even have to leave my chair! Happy Thanksgiving, suckers!”
If I wanted to be a really nice guy, I’d tell my friends who invested my money this past year so they could also make lots of money.
But “Nah,” I don’t really feel like being a nice guy.
They say Lincoln was only tall from the waist down…long legs, like me. Or am I short from the neck up? But my legs should compensate for my neck. At least my neck isn’t red. Ha ha ha ha.
“Ninety nine bottles of wine on my wall…
Ninety nine bottles of wine…
I take them down, pass them around…
After they’re gone, no one’s here to be found…”
True story. That TV was purchased by Jim DeLeo because the TV at the mansion during the Blagojevich era was a piece of junk. It was very modern for its time. But that time was over a dozen years ago.
“What’s that, Diana? Why am I on The Owl’s laptop and not wearing my wedding ring? I’m glad you asked that question, because…. look over there! What’s that behind the TV? It’s that big check I wrote for The Ounce and forgot about!”
“And that, my friends, is how The Turnaround Agenda ™ works!”
- AlfondoGonz - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:33 am:
“Did I leave the oven on at any of my mansions?”
- Norseman - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:34 am:
Rauner gives his best mean face pose for Madigan’s Christmas card.
- SportShz - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:35 am:
“I’m going to be really upset if I don’t get anything off my Wish List for Christmas!”
- Bogey Golfer - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:36 am:
“and damn if I can remember them.”
- Gruntled University Employee - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:36 am:
As god is my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly.
- South of Sherman - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:37 am:
1) Stop Madigan
2) Defeat Madigan
3) Crush Madigan
4) Destroy Madigan
5) Buy new thesauraus
- Old Shepherd - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:37 am:
“Somebody add a taller chair to my wish list, too. I’m folded up like an origami crane in this thing.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:37 am:
“I thought I would’ve won by now… “
- South of Sherman - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:38 am:
5a) Learn how to spell “thesaurus”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:38 am:
“They keep saying I’m heartless… Don’t they know the millions I donate?”
- Grimm - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:40 am:
…And all of AFSCME shall kneel and kiss my hand in supplication.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:40 am:
“Diana said I have no social agenda, why can’t people just accept that… “
- Gruntled University Employee - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:40 am:
Sorry, I forgot the link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf3mgmEdfwg
- Dysfunction Junction - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:41 am:
Number Six: sure wish that sweet projection TV behind me would fit in the van so I could watch some Seinfeld reruns in my new digs at the fairgrounds.
- Spliff - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:41 am:
I could really go for a donut. I wonder if Durkin would bring me a donut …. i gave him all that money … i think i’m going to tell him to bring me a donut
- cdog - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:41 am:
“Shook it up?
I think I broke it.”
- Linus - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:41 am:
“And they are: Cop, construction worker and Indian chief outfits to compliment my ‘biker’ and ‘cowboy’ costumes. Also, McCann’s seat. And world peace. Is that five?”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:41 am:
“In retrospect, IllinoisGo was a great idea but badly rolled out… “
- Amalia - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:42 am:
Surprise, fear, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope, oh and nice red uniforms.
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:42 am:
“Seriously, this is my last offer. I mean it. No more Mr. Nice Guy!”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:43 am:
“I don’t want to keep hurtin’ Illinois, just absolutely purposely hurtin’ Illinois, don’t want to do it, but I feel I owe to Illinois to punish thus state. It pains me, but… “
- Nick Name - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:43 am:
“How to distance myself from Trump…”
- Wensicia - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:44 am:
11:42 was me.
- zatoichi - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:44 am:
…then the Pope mentioned Madigan a second time. I had to chew my lip.
- Dysfunction Junction - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:45 am:
I know it’s tradition, but if I keep pardonin’ these turkeys every year, I wonder if it sends the wrong message to AF-SCAMMY.
- Brain Freeze - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:45 am:
Maybe somebody can help me understand the continued focus on pension reform. I understand it is a big part of the budget. I understand that there may be a slight chance that the “consideration” aspect of contract law could allow a workaround if workers voluntarily agree to forego their current pension. But how does this save money? Just how many state employees are going to forego their constitutionally protected pension to take something of lessor value, that will also save the state significant amounts of money? Or is this just all for show? Any enlightenment would be appreciated.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:46 am:
“Great, now I have to find someone to donate another $3-5 million to The Ounce or Diana might agree with the Democrats.. “
- State Worker THX 1138 - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:47 am:
“Who’s hopes and dreams can I crush today?”
- illini - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:48 am:
“Maybe 44 points in my TAA was a bit of an overreach so I will just continue to be hypocritical and continue my campaigning on only 5 points. But don’t ever expect me to give detailed reasons, or ever prepared a budget. Campaigning is too much fun to bother with governing.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:50 am:
“I just want to hurt anyone not like me or those foolish enough to think Madigan is causing the pain. It’s tiring, but it’s my life work now… “
- Dance Band on the Titanic - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:54 am:
Rauner is starting to remind me of this character:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXeTsWGPT0w
- Ole' Nelson - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:55 am:
What these people don’t understand is, I never lose.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:57 am:
“So no word from Madigan, eh. Maybe the documentary went too far… but… I dunno… This winning has got to come quicker… “
- Trolling Troll - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:57 am:
Do I like the Ditzy Blond or the Upside Brown Ale better?
- Huh? - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 11:58 am:
Foiled again, !@#$%^& that Madigan
- Cubs in '16 - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:00 pm:
“$188 million. HMPH! Still can’t figure that one out…”
- Cubs in '16 - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:04 pm:
“Wonder if I should’ve worn a tie…”
- IllinoisBoi - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:10 pm:
Darn, I thought when Makanda, Bone Gap and Table Grove endorsed my Turnaround Agenda I really had this thing won…
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:10 pm:
HBO - “Dad’s Home State”, Season 2, Episode 55
Bruce ponders why he can’t get his agenda passed, approved more hammering and shaking of those that he disagrees with through the holidays. Diana plans holiday parties for work, decides inviting people laid off from social service organizations might not be good form. Diana’s State Employee continued to track state funding to endangered social service groups. Lance tweets pictures of marijuana plants decorated for the holidays, “ck” sends out an email touting the backlog of bills is still below $11 billion, Goldberg writes a letter to Fenwick Football. Comedy, 67 minutes.
- NeverPoliticallyCorrect - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:15 pm:
“4 more reps, that’s it?” Time for me to go, obviously Illinois voters don’t give a damn about changing.
- Cubs in '16 - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:16 pm:
“Let’s see, is it compassion before competitive or…doggone it! Where’s my cheat sheet?”
- Shake - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:17 pm:
I Still Cannot Believe Munger Got Beat?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:17 pm:
“I can’t believe it. Trump actually won.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:18 pm:
“Take the points, Notre Dame will cover… Cover? They’re losing… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:19 pm:
“Now, Governor, let me first say Evelyn seems to be fine, and the wavers at the Mansion are iron clad… “
- Cubs in '16 - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:25 pm:
“There’s the National Guard and those three retirees who said they’d help out. Nope, don’t think that’s gonna cover it.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:26 pm:
“Governor, are you sure you want to highlight the closing of EIU? Maybe you putting up the boards covering a window isn’t the best idea. Think about it over Thanksgiving… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:29 pm:
“Governor, the bad news is “Madigan” isn’t eligible for an Oscar, but the good news is you’re up for an Emmy in ‘Dad’s Home State’… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:31 pm:
“The Red Sox need pitching, the Steelers need secondary help at the corners, and all these players are in Unions… “
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:33 pm:
Just waiting for Trump to call me about a cabinet post.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:33 pm:
“Governor, Ken Dunkin to see you now… “
- Liberty - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:34 pm:
I am a grinch…
- Annonin' - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:35 pm:
“Hey how come Nikki Haley gets a sweet job in NY and I get nothin’ ? I never P* on the guy like she did and we got all our “insiders” helpin’.
It just isn’t fair. Boo Hoo Better get Durkie over here so I can boss him around.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:35 pm:
“Governor, Scott Drury to see you now… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:37 pm:
“Governor, don’t be glum, you now only need 9 more seats… “
- Don't Call Us, Will Call You - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:37 pm:
I had to explain to Trump who I was and where Illinois is. I said it was the blue state bordered by the red states of Indiana, Kentucky, Missouri, Iowa and Wisconsin.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:39 pm:
“Governor, Vice President Elect Pence thanked you for your offer, but he can take it from here… “
- Rocky Rosi - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:39 pm:
” What do you mean!, You didn’t buy my IL bonds at a discount”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:41 pm:
“Governor, I suggest when the polls close we issue a press release saying the 1 seat win is what we expect and how huge that is against Madigan. That way we won’t look foolish, like we have no idea what’s happening… “
- Winnin' - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:41 pm:
“No more Mr. Nice Guy.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:42 pm:
“You wanna wear a costume, that always seems to cheer you up… “
- Cubs in '16 - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:43 pm:
“If only I’d cooked those TA numbers better before sending them to Miller…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:46 pm:
“Governor, I know you wanted to give out turkeys there for Thanksgiving, but that organization closed due to the state not paying them for 2 years… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:48 pm:
“Governor, the YMCA said that was fine, they will wait until January to take your name off the building, and they agreed not to have a press conference or press release. So, that’s good… “
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:49 pm:
Blue state representative
- The Captain - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:54 pm:
“The Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen … oy, ten! TEN Commandments!”
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:56 pm:
What’s my COS doing with that guy with a pocket protector?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 12:59 pm:
“Governor, don’t worry, AFSCME will strike and get real angry and you’ll get to give that speech. We promise. It just may be a bit longer, that’s all… “
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:00 pm:
Jacob Marley what are you doing here
- Loop Lady - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:00 pm:
If the Donaid can equivocate…maybe I should…
- walker - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:01 pm:
“Shaken State Syndrome”
(So sorry to those for whom this could never be funny.)
- Huh? - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:01 pm:
Now let’s see … if I do this … then Madigan will do that … hey, it just might work!
- Dysfunction Junction - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:03 pm:
“Rosebud…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:06 pm:
“Governor, Payton Prep is wondering… they need a gym renovation… “
- siriusly - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:06 pm:
Madigan? No I don’t really care about that. Truthfully Illinois is so beneath me, I don’t care about Illinois.
I’m upset about the Presidential election.
I wanted to be the first angry billionaire president.
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:08 pm:
Dangling
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:09 pm:
Grumpy govenor
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:12 pm:
Goldie hand me that senokot
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:13 pm:
Is this impasse ever going to end
- State Worker THX 1138 - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:13 pm:
“I just ruined the Holidays for over 38,000 people and their families. EXCELLENT.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:14 pm:
“Some social service group will name you ‘Humanitarian of the Year’, it’s just too early to say. Cheer up… “
- ILGOV2016 - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:16 pm:
Hmmm… is Trump ever going to return my calls?
- Wensicia - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:16 pm:
“I was the better choice for UN ambassador…”
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:19 pm:
Late payment fee fees
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:19 pm:
“Governor, Mark Kirk has left his 9 message today. You’re going to have to face him at some point… “
- A Jack - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:22 pm:
“Remember that secret trip in the trash van? I had to nab this beauty out of the dumpster before someone else grabbed it”.
“But dang it, I should have grabbed the matching footstool.”
- MoneyMan - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:26 pm:
When I started my income was 60 million now it is 190 Million. Being the Governor is paying off.
- wordslinger - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:26 pm:
“Say the governor is required by the Constitution to submit a balanced budget one more time…. I dare you… I double-dog dare you….”
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:27 pm:
I will bury you
- wordslinger - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:27 pm:
“Goldberg… release the hounds…”
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:31 pm:
Great “dads home state” marathon on all weekend
- Ducky LaMoore - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:34 pm:
“The next time the comptroller holds a press conference to tell everybody how absolutely horrible the fiscal status of the government is… where am I going to eat breakfast…?”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:35 pm:
“Kneel and kiss the ring! What? I’m not wearing one? Yours will do. Put it on me and start kissing!”
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:37 pm:
Trump came thru he’s giving you a studebaker ambassador
- anonymous - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:37 pm:
Saved by the Trump. Who woulda thought? Not me.
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:41 pm:
I wish I knew what I’m doing
- illinoised - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:42 pm:
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
- Leave it to BVR - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:44 pm:
“Alright, I’ve got my Labor Board ready to put out their little memo around 4:45. Then I’ve got my superstar lawyers ready to drop the hammer with my contract at 4:55. And the best part is, I don’t even have to leave my chair! Happy Thanksgiving, suckers!”
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:46 pm:
I need a tissue for my issue
- Mal - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:46 pm:
“That dang AFSCME just won’t let me dictate!”
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:48 pm:
Sorry Goldie the happy feet dance just ain’t doing it today
- pool boy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:52 pm:
Bad Santa 3 now playing only in illinois.
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 1:57 pm:
Them gaud danged kids are on our lawn again, Diana! I can see ‘em from here! Fetch me the Winchester!
- NATTY BOY - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:01 pm:
Your stock is rising, Number Two.
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:03 pm:
He puzzled and puzzled til his puzzler was soe. Then the Governor thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe government, he thought, can’t be run like a store. Maybe government…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:13 pm:
“It came without agreements. It arrived full of gags. It came without a budget, contracts or swag”
“No AFSCME, no Democrats, no Edgar, no chance. I ran Illinois like it was Vichy France!”
“A million spent here, a million spent there, but my Turnaround Agenda keeps going nowhere!”
Then the Governor thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick…
“I know what to do - I’ll block illinois up - that’ll do the trick!”
- Winnin' - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:14 pm:
If I wanted to be a really nice guy, I’d tell my friends who invested my money this past year so they could also make lots of money.
But “Nah,” I don’t really feel like being a nice guy.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:18 pm:
That was an unexpected nice gesture from Madigan to send me over this chair. I should…wait, why am I itching?
Drat! Bedbugs!
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:19 pm:
I need a new image. I think I’ll change my last name to Burns. Mr. Burns. I like it!
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:21 pm:
They say Lincoln was only tall from the waist down…long legs, like me. Or am I short from the neck up? But my legs should compensate for my neck. At least my neck isn’t red. Ha ha ha ha.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:22 pm:
Those Halls cough drops taste like they’ve got kerosene in them.
- Anon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:23 pm:
“Oh, JT! Be a good fellow and fetch me my slippers!”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:25 pm:
Holeee…I think I just figured out who put the ram in the ramma lamma ding dong!
- LINK - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:25 pm:
It’s good to be the King…
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:27 pm:
The Dalai Lama told me if I stared into space for an hour, I’d achieve enlightenment. All I’m getting is a cramp in my nose.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:28 pm:
It’s been 20 seconds since I called. Where IS my order from Jimmy John’s?
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:30 pm:
Maybe if I insulted more people, I’d have a better shot in 2020. I wonder how much Rickles would charge me to write some insults?
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:31 pm:
“Why do I have to keep buying friends?”
“How is it that I’m the only governor who really knows all the words to “I Adore Being A Girl?”"
“If I was a cat, would I get more hugs?”
“Who the hell is VanillaMan?”
“Why can’t I dance like a toddler high on Lucky Charms?”
“Does Rodogno think I’m hot?”
“If anything happens to me, who’ll screw Illinois?”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:34 pm:
I wonder if Liberace ever rode a motorcycle?
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:35 pm:
“I heard my mama cry,
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother what a night it really was
Brother what a fight it really was
Glory - ME!”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:36 pm:
I hope we have strawberry milkshakes on Thanksgiving.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:38 pm:
Somewhere, in a state park in southern Illinois, there’s a chipmunk cursing my name.
- Anon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:41 pm:
“Okay, I get it, 44 demands was too many. 5 was too many too. So I reduced it to just one, here it is: “Give me everything I want.” Whaddya think?”
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:42 pm:
“Once again, I got no thanksgiving invites!
THAT’S IT!
I’m locking out the orphans!”
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:47 pm:
“Yes - the left one looks pretty shiny now Leslie - start on my right one, it’s a little dinghy from my walk…”
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:52 pm:
“Ninety nine bottles of wine on my wall…
Ninety nine bottles of wine…
I take them down, pass them around…
After they’re gone, no one’s here to be found…”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:54 pm:
I wonder if Quinn will get me another nose and ear hair trimmer for Christmas this year?
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:55 pm:
I should hire that Jack Handy guy to think some deep thoughts for me.
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:55 pm:
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/044/247/297.png
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:57 pm:
Hmmm. I wonder if Lovie Smith was named after Lovie Howell?
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 2:58 pm:
Boy, there’s nothin’ that calms my nerves like listening to my Slim Whitman Christmas album.
- Huh? - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:00 pm:
Damn, my thanksgiving is going to be great. I’ve got everybody right where I want ‘em.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:00 pm:
Wellll, I s’pose I should get up from this comfortable chair and do some governin’…..NAAAAHHHH!
- Dr X - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:02 pm:
“Is Kent Gray goin’ to pay his taxes before he leaves for DC, or is he goin’ to use it to buy a sweet used SUV from the Greens?”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:03 pm:
And I thought the Downton Abbey office was kinda neat. Go figure.
- El Conquistador - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:17 pm:
I’ll just keep demandin’ and bloviatin’…
- zatoichi - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:23 pm:
Man, love those hot dogs from Coney Island. Got room for two more.
- SAP - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:24 pm:
I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.
- GlimmerGirl - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:27 pm:
I think I’ll go over and do my holiday shopping at the Illinois State Museum’s gift shop. Oh, that’s right, I destroyed that gift shop.
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:28 pm:
Oh man my sophomore year is almost over I need to buckle down next semester and I haven’t even picked my major
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:32 pm:
COS just stepped on my French horn
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:38 pm:
Five finger discount
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:41 pm:
He took my comptroller
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:43 pm:
This must be what it feels like to lose
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:45 pm:
Why can’t I get my message across?
- Liberty - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:45 pm:
Madigan just doesn’t get it…
- Ryan - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:46 pm:
See the look on my face? That’s how I feel about that tv behind me.
- Liberty - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:47 pm:
Why can’t we all get along?
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:48 pm:
===that tv behind me===
True story. That TV was purchased by Jim DeLeo because the TV at the mansion during the Blagojevich era was a piece of junk. It was very modern for its time. But that time was over a dozen years ago.
- Liberty - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:49 pm:
Yes, Thanksgiving is a bereavement day… its about the turkey.
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:50 pm:
The punch bowl full of Kool-aid is almost empty
- Huh? - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:50 pm:
Damn TV went out. Now I have to go fight through the black Friday crowds and buy a new one. How am I going to watch football tomorrow?
- woodstock willy - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:52 pm:
The concept of health insurance is really overrated !
- Huh? - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 3:53 pm:
I started with 44 demands. I’m down to 5. When is Madigan going to let me win at least once?
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 4:04 pm:
I wish I polled as well as my demands
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 4:09 pm:
Baa humbug
- Winnin' - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 4:10 pm:
Here I thought what I needed from the Wizard was a brain. Turns out I needed a heart.
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 4:15 pm:
Why did I listen to Kasich like Cleveland meant nothing to Illinois
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 4:21 pm:
You going to pass that back Goldie?
- Rabid - Wednesday, Nov 23, 16 @ 4:25 pm:
Didn’t somebody tell tump I’m the finest govenor
- Anonymous - Monday, Nov 28, 16 @ 9:52 am:
“What’s that, Diana? Why am I on The Owl’s laptop and not wearing my wedding ring? I’m glad you asked that question, because…. look over there! What’s that behind the TV? It’s that big check I wrote for The Ounce and forgot about!”
“And that, my friends, is how The Turnaround Agenda ™ works!”