“…about this SB40 thing. Ya’ see I know it won’t get past this governors veto, and ya’ know I am really opposed to it. So can I get Communion in front of some cameras?”
- Steward As Well.... - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:40 pm:
Bishop Paprocki you are my Moses! Can you send various plagues the governor’s way.
- Cook County Commoner - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:40 pm:
Listen here, Bishop. Times are tough. Either I see a few more of the Church’s non-exempt properties at my law firm for tax work or I take a hard line on the sanctuary properties and you get a bill from Pappas. And don’t threaten me. I cut a deal with the other team long ago.
Just to show you that I am a good guy. When we get done raising the income tax on the poor, I am really going to make a push to get minimum wage raised….but I ain’t making any promises.
Bishop, I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. Years ago we had the church. That was only a way of saying - we had each other. The Knights of Columbus were real head-breakers; true guineas. They took over their piece of the city. Twenty years after an Irishman couldn’t get a bleeping job, we had the presidency. May he rest in peace. That’s what the goo goos don’t realize. If I got one thing against the IPI, it’s this - no one gives it to you. You have to take it.
“Bless me Father for Rauner has sinned.”
“Speaker I thought you were supposed to confess your own sins”.
“If Rauner won’t do it I have to do it for him.”
When you decide to be something, you can be it. That’s what they don’t tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I’m saying to you is this: what’s the difference?
Bishop, Can you block out about 3 hours for a confession? I think I’m ready to re-up my membership. You see, being a good Catholic hasn’t been too practical for me here the last 10 years.
“Bishop, Rome wanted me to explain. They aren’t drawing you out of your diocese, it’s just that this new map worked with you outside. You could always move in, sure, but I’ve been instructed by Rome that this new diocese might be better served with a different Bishop. Now, your new diocese, it’s going to be more of, let’s say, a challenge… “
“… then the Sergeant of Arms burns the ballots, the white smoke rises out the Dome, then I’m Speaker again. So, kinda the same, kinda different, but I can see the confusion… “
I invited the governor to the Red Mass to receive guidance from the All Mighty. Unfortunately, he thinks he knows everything and only listens to the voices in his head.
“I know science proves that life begins at conception but we can get the women’s vote if we say abortion is okay. So it’s okay right? After all the unions need me in charge to protect them.”
- Cubs in '16 - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:15 pm:
“No, no it doesn’t have to be something as serious as eternal damnation. Maybe just a lightning bolt or something. You know, to get his attention.”
- Cubs in '16 - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:18 pm:
“So you’re supposed to confess EVERYTHING?!?”
- Ward Heeler - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:18 pm:
Michael Corleone seeks absolution for his criminal past by approaching the leaders of the Vatican Bank in “The Godfather III.”
Oh, wait! It’s the wrong Michael.
- 47th Ward - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:18 pm:
I prefer Pope Francis, who operates in moderation. If you hope to be named Cardinal, I would urge you to avoid operating in the extreme.
- Casual observer - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:18 pm:
MM: you see, this is how high I wear my belt.
- Dick Butka - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:18 pm:
“You gave Kennedy your blessing? So did I!”
- Cubs in '16 - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:19 pm:
“Yes Bishop. I believe all the signs are there. Classic case of demonic possession…”
- OneMan - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:21 pm:
Madigan expresses his disappointment it wasn’t a Red Wedding for those who disagree with him…
- blue dog dem - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:22 pm:
“…about this SB40 thing. Ya’ see I know it won’t get past this governors veto, and ya’ know I am really opposed to it. So can I get Communion in front of some cameras?”
- Anonymous - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:22 pm:
What am I doing here?
- RNUG - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:24 pm:
So, even though the Governor’s Mansion is empty at the moment, can you still exorcise it?
- Anon - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:27 pm:
Smart power vs Hard power
- Cubs in '16 - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:27 pm:
“So then I said to Rauner, ’see you in church!’ (laughing) No Bishop, I don’t know what faith he practices.”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:29 pm:
“If you could give that speech again about Labor right around October 2018, I’d really appreciate that.”
- blue dog dem - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:30 pm:
Bless me Father, for I am sin.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:31 pm:
“Bishop, I get it, your properties are tax exempt. I’ll I’m saying is, take my card, you never know… “
- 47th Ward - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:31 pm:
Say, Tom, did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the little boy who went to heaven?
Yeah, Speaker, that’s a doozy.
- Nick Name - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:31 pm:
“Kiss the ring.”
“No, you kiss my ring first.”
- blue dog dem - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:32 pm:
This is the Church.
This is the steeple.
Open it up, and look at all my people.
- Anonymous - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:36 pm:
MM :
Bless me Father for I have sinned. I have been a wheeler-dealer politician …..
BP: And your sins…?
- Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:36 pm:
MM: “Did you know your beanie is the same color as a Red Delicious?”
- Flynn's Mom - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:37 pm:
Look Bishop do it my way or I’m gonna use my power to start taxing the church.
- And...... - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:37 pm:
Madigan and the Politicians he controls…
- Arock - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:37 pm:
“Bishop, what do you mean by saying I have a God complex.”
- And...... - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:37 pm:
Bishops….
- Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:37 pm:
MM: “I forget. Do you put your hands down like this when you pray or up?”
- blue dog dem - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:39 pm:
“Can you perform Last Rites on a state?”
- Steward As Well.... - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:40 pm:
Bishop Paprocki you are my Moses! Can you send various plagues the governor’s way.
- Cook County Commoner - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:40 pm:
Listen here, Bishop. Times are tough. Either I see a few more of the Church’s non-exempt properties at my law firm for tax work or I take a hard line on the sanctuary properties and you get a bill from Pappas. And don’t threaten me. I cut a deal with the other team long ago.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:40 pm:
MM: “So as I was saying, Bishop Buboiki…”
BP: “That’s Bishop Paprocki, Mr. Mulligan…”
MM: “That’s Madigan…”
BP: “Bishop Madigan? I don’t think so.”
- Lenny - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:42 pm:
Lenny, you would have saved the lives of millions of registered voters:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9S4cldkdCjE
- jimbo - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:43 pm:
Was that Governor Rauner who received Communion?
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:47 pm:
“Could you not give special dispensation to Republicans hurting Catholic Charities. They tell me you keep absolving them. Help me, help you… “
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:50 pm:
“Bishop, can you deal in… Hypotheticals… “
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:51 pm:
“As a lawyer, I have that lawyer-client privledge. If I told you something, will you keep it to yourself?”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:52 pm:
“Bishop, we’ve talked about this. Durkin’s Catholic too… “
- Ducky LaMoore - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:54 pm:
Abstinence meets Obstinance.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:54 pm:
“… and Bishop… Cullerton’s Catholic too… I keep reminding you, but… “
- blue dog dem - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:54 pm:
Just to show you that I am a good guy. When we get done raising the income tax on the poor, I am really going to make a push to get minimum wage raised….but I ain’t making any promises.
- blue dog dem - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:57 pm:
A million Our Fathers!!!
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 2:58 pm:
“… well, Bishop, I count two miracles for me right now, if I get a budget Rauner signs, that puts me in good shape for sainthood… “
- Walter Concrete - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:00 pm:
Madigan:
Bishop, I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. Years ago we had the church. That was only a way of saying - we had each other. The Knights of Columbus were real head-breakers; true guineas. They took over their piece of the city. Twenty years after an Irishman couldn’t get a bleeping job, we had the presidency. May he rest in peace. That’s what the goo goos don’t realize. If I got one thing against the IPI, it’s this - no one gives it to you. You have to take it.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:01 pm:
“Bishop, with all do respect, Vatican II and our state constitution are oranges… and apples… “
- Old Lobbyist - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:03 pm:
“Bless me Father for Rauner has sinned.”
“Speaker I thought you were supposed to confess your own sins”.
“If Rauner won’t do it I have to do it for him.”
- jimk849 - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:05 pm:
Moses really gave us the 10 suggestions. Right?
- Walter Concrete - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:07 pm:
When you decide to be something, you can be it. That’s what they don’t tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I’m saying to you is this: what’s the difference?
- Anonymous - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:09 pm:
You know Mike, it is hard for me to understand how you and Quinn are Catholic.
- blue dog dem - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:12 pm:
You know bishop, there are really four wisemen.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:12 pm:
“I know you’re the Bishop, but that’s still MY table at Saputo’s”
- DuPage Saint - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:15 pm:
So you walk a few precincts but some fund raising tickets and in a few years I can make you Pope
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:18 pm:
“I dunno Bishop, using the names ‘Bruce’ and Michael’ in that sermon really didn’t seem too… random…”
- Steve - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:20 pm:
Bishop to Mike Madigan : “We don’t need your property tax cut services just yet.”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:21 pm:
“Bishop, you misunderstand. Taking out Ken Dunkin isn’t sin-worthy… “
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:26 pm:
“Bishop… I told Bruce he’d be fine. That is me working together.”
- Lech W - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:30 pm:
About that Johnson amendment, here is my final offer and remember the plan goes into effect fall of 2018 OK ?
- A guy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:31 pm:
Bishop, Can you block out about 3 hours for a confession? I think I’m ready to re-up my membership. You see, being a good Catholic hasn’t been too practical for me here the last 10 years.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:34 pm:
“Bishop (sigh) all I’m asking is some locust… on the fairgrounds… at the Director’s House… “
- 47th Ward - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:35 pm:
I’d keep playing. I don’t think the heavy stuff will come down for a while.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:37 pm:
- 47th Ward -
Your Caddyshack is “Top notch, top notch!”
“Bishop, I understand your concern about gambling in Springfield, a new casino, but rest assured, your bingo nights will be… protected… “
- 47th Ward - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:39 pm:
You want a Fresca, Willy?
- T Sowell - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:39 pm:
So tell me again is stubbornness venial or mortal?
- Anonymous - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:40 pm:
Dominus Vo-bisque ‘em
Et come spear a tu-tu,
Oh!
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:41 pm:
“I wanna be good!”
“Bishop, on that issue, some may say, the devil is in the details… “
- Dog - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:47 pm:
Bishop, did you hear the one about the Governor, a boy scout and the smartest House Speaker in the world getting on a plane……
- Mama - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:49 pm:
Father, please pray for Illinois.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:50 pm:
“Bishop, Rome wanted me to explain. They aren’t drawing you out of your diocese, it’s just that this new map worked with you outside. You could always move in, sure, but I’ve been instructed by Rome that this new diocese might be better served with a different Bishop. Now, your new diocese, it’s going to be more of, let’s say, a challenge… “
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 3:54 pm:
“… then the Sergeant of Arms burns the ballots, the white smoke rises out the Dome, then I’m Speaker again. So, kinda the same, kinda different, but I can see the confusion… “
- Henry - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 4:02 pm:
Please me Father, for I have sinned.
- Cubs in '16 - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 4:04 pm:
“Bishop, where it says ‘Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness’….that’s just rhetorical right?”
- My New Handle - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 4:06 pm:
Mike, bishopric is not two words.
- Arthur Andersen - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 4:19 pm:
“All this heat around here mine or yours?”
- Anonymous - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 4:24 pm:
He Archdiocese is my client and if you want to go to heaven then leave it alone
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 4:25 pm:
“Bishop, I dunno. I was taught we come to you to confess. I’ve never heard of Bishops searching for confessors… except during the Inquisition, but… “
- Amalia - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 4:45 pm:
It’s even more powerful than papal infallibility…..
- Amalia - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 4:45 pm:
Ratzinger? Quitter.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 5:12 pm:
BP: “No, Mike, I don’t know if Eve ate a Fuji or a Gala.”
MM: “Could it have been a Granny Smith?”
BP: “Oh, I doubt it. There were no grannies yet.”
- Strobby - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 5:17 pm:
I’m really not going to Hell, am I ? Can’t I just pay my way out of it ?
- blue dog dem - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 5:22 pm:
Hey dude,Rome wasn’t built in a day and Illinois hasn’t been destroyed in 32 years.
- williebee - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 5:23 pm:
Don’t sweat it, Padre. I can get you back into Heaven. I’ve got the votes.
- blue dog dem - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 5:30 pm:
Krie eleison.
Christe eleison.
Rauner eleison.
- blue dog dem - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 5:31 pm:
Is this borderline blasphemy?
- Veil of Ignorance - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 5:49 pm:
I’m just saying, even if the Exorcism leads to killing the patient it’s still worth trying right. I know this guy…
- Six Degrees of Separation - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 5:58 pm:
MJM: My halo is just a little lower than yours.
- Whatever - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 6:20 pm:
MM: Now, if you want to build an organization that will last, I can give you some help . . .
- wayward - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 6:41 pm:
Can you do an exorcism on Rauner?
- justacitizen - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 7:51 pm:
I know you’re the Bishop and I’m the Speaker, but we’re also lawyers-so we have a lot in common like ethics, etc.
- Huh? - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 8:02 pm:
I invited the governor to the Red Mass to receive guidance from the All Mighty. Unfortunately, he thinks he knows everything and only listens to the voices in his head.
- Huh? - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 8:06 pm:
My official title is “Speaker of the House”. But in reality, I am a Bishop. And just like you, my congregation does what I tell them.
- E town - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 9:25 pm:
Look at the delicious pastries they have set out for us
- Knock Knock - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 9:32 pm:
Paprocki to Madigan (as the latter’s head spins 360 degrees); “The power of Christ compels you!”
- I Dunno - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 9:44 pm:
“Yeah you know, pray to play”
- Common sense - Monday, May 22, 17 @ 10:40 pm:
It’s only been 40 years of bad behavior. Surely I can’t go to hell for that, can I?
- Rabid - Tuesday, May 23, 17 @ 7:18 am:
Did you hear the one about episcopalian that went to see the pope
- Rabid - Tuesday, May 23, 17 @ 7:33 am:
I was to focused on the budget to go to the Vatican, besides the inflight movie was “madigan”
- Rabid - Tuesday, May 23, 17 @ 7:45 am:
When the govenor said he was going to see pope, I thought it was pope county
- Rabid - Tuesday, May 23, 17 @ 7:48 am:
Rome, morocco, palm springs, I don’t know when the govenor has time for the budget
- Rabid - Tuesday, May 23, 17 @ 8:01 am:
Graveside service for Illinois will be on the thirty first
- Rabid - Tuesday, May 23, 17 @ 8:09 am:
I’m fighting for those without a voice, governors fighting for those that do
- Rabid - Tuesday, May 23, 17 @ 8:17 am:
I never thought of a bingo casino before
- Rabid - Tuesday, May 23, 17 @ 8:22 am:
Back off do you want to be on bossmadigan
- Ahoy! - Tuesday, May 23, 17 @ 8:47 am:
Two villains in power.
- Stand Tall - Tuesday, May 23, 17 @ 8:53 am:
“I know science proves that life begins at conception but we can get the women’s vote if we say abortion is okay. So it’s okay right? After all the unions need me in charge to protect them.”
- Rabid - Tuesday, May 23, 17 @ 8:59 am:
Even holy water won’t put out the govenors pants