Bishop I got a bet.
Who will the GOP follow you or me? My bet is they worship my Gold more than your salvation?
How much you got?
- King of the Hill - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:02 pm:
It’s a good thing you don’t want Communion, because we’d treat you like we treat Durbin. But then again, we make exceptions for Republicans because we often confuse the label for Christian.
Just a couple of nit-picks:
It’s the Diocese of Springfield in Illinois; we’re not an Archdiocese (that would be the metropolitan Archdiocese of Chicago)
The bishop (and archbishops) would be addressed as “Your Excellency”; “Your Eminence” is for Cardinals (such as Cardinal Cupich).
@King of the Hill, if you think Bishop Paprocki would make exceptions (for Republicans or otherwise), I’d say you don’t really know him.
…and sure enough, the snake bites the man who was trying to save it. The now-dying man says to the snake, why did you bite me? And the snake says, what did you expect? You knew I was a snake when you picked me up.
Well anyway, that’s all I have to say about HB40, Bishop.
You know, I’ve tried all sorts of moisturizers. I even went fragrance free for a whole year. Now my sister, she uses some kind of uh… uh… uh… uh… aloe vera with a little sunscreen in it, and ideally, we should all wear gloves when going to bed, but I found out that that creates a kind of an interference with my… “social agenda,” you know what I mean.
47th Ward. Did you think nobody would recognize the Patton reference?
As for the caption:
“Your eminence, just to be clear, I mean my word figuratively, but not literally. And I figure you’ll still vote for me over that heathen Democrat regardless of what I do on HB 40.”
Knew a guy in school who would do it with CDs, people would give him ‘orders’ and pay him like 5$ or 6$ bucks. He was never explicit about what he did, but never understood why it was worth the risk. In general, he was a great guy. Was never sure if he did it for the cash or because he could get away with it.
“Looove your stick, Your Bishopness. I’ve hired a new Deputy Director of Communications, and that might come in handy when it’s time to give her the hook….heh,heh.”
- Dance Band on the Titanic - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 3:53 pm:
Rauner thought bubble: “That’ll be a cool costume for my next south side church visit.”
- The Captain - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:27 pm:
Bruce Rauner gets his fourth staff of the summer.
- South of Sherman - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:29 pm:
“So, Bishop, I understand Peter Breen and Jeanne Ives sent you here to talk with me. Ummm… what’s with the big hook?”
- EVanstonian - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:29 pm:
@The Captain…shut it down, nobody is beating that. Well done sir.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:30 pm:
“Bless me, Your Eminence, for I will sin… I’m going to lie to a Cardinal… “
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:31 pm:
“Diana told me to do it”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:31 pm:
“I often thought about becoming a golf club”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:33 pm:
“I kept my word on the questionnaire, does that count for anything.., “
- Commonsense in Illinois - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:34 pm:
You can count on me…
- Winnin’ - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:34 pm:
It’s not personal. It’s only bidness. You see, I have no personal agenda.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:35 pm:
“I plan on vetoing my own signature… “
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:35 pm:
“I wore a tie… “
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:36 pm:
“You may be right, but right now I’m more afraid of Diana and Terry Cosgrove… “
- don the legend - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:36 pm:
“Nice hat, know where I might get one?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:37 pm:
“Yes, thank you, I’ll check out the Book of Matthew, thanks… “
- Blue dog dem - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:38 pm:
“This is what toast looks like”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:38 pm:
“I’m just not that all religious”
“But… you’re a Bishop”
- Henry Francis - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:39 pm:
So padre, I brought my camel, where’s your eye of a needle?
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:39 pm:
“Governor, I understand. You can wait outside here until Mass has ended… “
- Ron Burgundy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:40 pm:
“Nice walky-stick things. I should get them for all my team! We need more of them in Springfield! What are they called?”
“Crooks.”
“Uh, nevermind.”
- Anonymous - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:41 pm:
“I have no religious agenda.”
- Anonymous - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:41 pm:
“Yes, Father, my grandfather was a Bishop too”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:41 pm:
“We don’t need your personal money, governor, we counted on you and you let us down. I’m not one of you General Assembly people… “
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:42 pm:
“People will forget, Bishop… “
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:43 pm:
“Bishop, I gave you guys that school money thingy, so why can’t you just gone me a pass on that HB40 stuff… “
- Blue dog dem - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:43 pm:
“I am looking for a new communications director. Know anybody?”
- Anonymous - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:43 pm:
“Yer not plannin’ On usin’ that are ye’,,,heh, heh”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:45 pm:
“I’d blame Madigan, Your Eminence. If you think about it, what exactly did my signature do, anyway”
- Jocko - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:45 pm:
“Love the outfit. Mind if I ask where you got it?”
- Anonymous - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:45 pm:
“Uuuuuu, your hands are sooo soft….Lubriderm?”
- We'll See - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:45 pm:
Gov: “It’s so nice of you to graciously let me know I’m not welcome back.”
- DuPage Bard - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:49 pm:
I look forward to winning BINGO tonight, thanks Bishop.
- Ron Burgundy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:49 pm:
“I thought you guys were all big on that forgiveness thing…”
- Get it Solved - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:50 pm:
Can I borrow your costume for my upcoming visits around the state?
- I said it - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:51 pm:
Since I will never get the opportunity, when you see saint Peter tell him …..
- We'll See - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:55 pm:
“Yes Bishop, I know this is the Cathedral of The Immaculate Conception, but I’ll just refer to it a the Cathedral from here on out.”
- DuPage Bard - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 12:58 pm:
Bishop I got a bet.
Who will the GOP follow you or me? My bet is they worship my Gold more than your salvation?
How much you got?
- King of the Hill - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:02 pm:
It’s a good thing you don’t want Communion, because we’d treat you like we treat Durbin. But then again, we make exceptions for Republicans because we often confuse the label for Christian.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:05 pm:
“Bishop, the way I see it. It’s better to be feared then loved. That’s how I got two caucuses.”
- Commonsense in Illinois - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:06 pm:
I can assure you, this will never be used in any political way…now just hold still for a minute longer.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:08 pm:
“… ‘I’ll answer to the Man “upstairs”?’, Bishop, is Ken Griffin here?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:09 pm:
“I answer to a higher power too, Bishop. Diana.”
- Silent Budgeteer - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:12 pm:
Just a couple of nit-picks:
It’s the Diocese of Springfield in Illinois; we’re not an Archdiocese (that would be the metropolitan Archdiocese of Chicago)
The bishop (and archbishops) would be addressed as “Your Excellency”; “Your Eminence” is for Cardinals (such as Cardinal Cupich).
@King of the Hill, if you think Bishop Paprocki would make exceptions (for Republicans or otherwise), I’d say you don’t really know him.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:14 pm:
“Move Bishop to block King. Check.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:16 pm:
“Bishop, we ain’t too different. You have a flock. Ah, but I also have sheep… “
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:18 pm:
“Sorry about all that hurtin’ Catholic Charities business, I just hope signing HB40 makes up for that… “
- 47th Ward - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:20 pm:
R: I want a prayer Bishop, a re-election prayer.
P: A re-election prayer, Governor?
R: Yes…Let’s see if we can’t get God helping us with this fight against Madigan.
P: It’ll take a pretty thick rug for that kind of prayer.
R: I don’t care if it takes a flying carpet.
- OneMan - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:20 pm:
The Biss campaign issues a press release complaining about the money involved in church activities.
The Pritzker campaign issued a press release about their candidate’s long-term involvement with dudes with shepards staffs.
- Sicilian Defense - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:24 pm:
Pawn to Bishop’s 3; it’s just bidness
- 47th Ward - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:29 pm:
…and sure enough, the snake bites the man who was trying to save it. The now-dying man says to the snake, why did you bite me? And the snake says, what did you expect? You knew I was a snake when you picked me up.
Well anyway, that’s all I have to say about HB40, Bishop.
- Northsider - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:31 pm:
Following up on Anonymous @ 12:45:
You have lovely hands. Do you moisturize?
I’m sorry?
You know, I’ve tried all sorts of moisturizers. I even went fragrance free for a whole year. Now my sister, she uses some kind of uh… uh… uh… uh… aloe vera with a little sunscreen in it, and ideally, we should all wear gloves when going to bed, but I found out that that creates a kind of an interference with my… “social agenda,” you know what I mean.
(h/t Frank Catton; we miss you, Big Guy)
- Flynn's mom - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 1:49 pm:
I’ve got no clue what the truth is so lying is ok, isn’t it? No penance for me, right?
- Rabid - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:01 pm:
whatever
- FLEA - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:04 pm:
so Your the holy Goalie, Holy moly.
- TinyDancer(FKASue) - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:06 pm:
No. Sorry. Three Hail Marys just isn’t gonna cut it this time.
- SAP - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:07 pm:
Governor: “Are you backing Ives if she challenges me?”
Paprocki: “Do I wear a funny hat?”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:07 pm:
BVR: You’ll notice I trotted out the blazer, and the necktie, too.
Bishop: Not to mention the forked tongue.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:08 pm:
BVR: Just checkin’ for brass knuckles, Bishop. Ya can never be too careful.
- FLEA - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:10 pm:
Do you know what they call a Polak with a pointed hat? The Pope..err I mean Bishop
- Chicago Cynic - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:12 pm:
47th Ward. Did you think nobody would recognize the Patton reference?
As for the caption:
“Your eminence, just to be clear, I mean my word figuratively, but not literally. And I figure you’ll still vote for me over that heathen Democrat regardless of what I do on HB 40.”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:15 pm:
BVR: Why do they call it a Red mass? I didn’t see a pinko in the whole church.
- 47th Ward - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:18 pm:
===Did you think nobody would recognize the Patton reference?===
On the contrary, I was counting on it.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:18 pm:
Rauner promises to protect unborn human life like he protects taxpayers.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:21 pm:
BVR: Think you could come out to the fairgrounds and bless the cabin? It might keep the foxes away.
Bishop: I’m more concerned about rats.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:22 pm:
===On the contrary, I was counting on it.===
Easter Eggs. Well played.
“Bishop, fiddlesticks, my name’s Tom and I’m a man, same as you… “
- VanillaMan - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:23 pm:
Rauner reminds the Bishop of his favorite beatitude,
“Blessed are the gullible for they shall be misled.”
- Arthur Andersen - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:23 pm:
“That’s the funniest-lookin’ hockey stick I’ve ever seen”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:24 pm:
BVR: I hear Saputo’s serves a great cod sandwich. You oughta take the Mrs. and try it out.
Bishop: (Where did they GET this guy?)
- VanillaMan - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:27 pm:
Rauner reminds the Bishop of his favorite Bible quote
“Promise keepers, soon are weepers”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:27 pm:
BVR: Didn’t they have a hook like that on Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour?
Bishop: Yes. Amateurs.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:29 pm:
Rauner reminds the Bishop of his favorite Bible character
Judas
- Rabid - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:29 pm:
Stop by for BBQ, Diana is making baby back ribs
- VanillaMan - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:34 pm:
Rauner tells the Bishop about how his Swedish grandfather, who barely spoke English, was at Pentecost.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:38 pm:
Rauner requests an exorcist, claiming he sold his soul to Harvey Weinstein, in order to win the 2014 election.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:41 pm:
Rauner confesses to Bishop that he don’t know jack about “governin’”.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:43 pm:
Rauner mistakes Bishop Paprocki for former governor Jim Edgar, asks, “How’s Brenda?”
- BaHa - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:45 pm:
“Are those the Pearly Gates? No, I’m afraid you chose door number 2”
- OneMan - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 2:54 pm:
Knew a guy in school who would do it with CDs, people would give him ‘orders’ and pay him like 5$ or 6$ bucks. He was never explicit about what he did, but never understood why it was worth the risk. In general, he was a great guy. Was never sure if he did it for the cash or because he could get away with it.
- Rabid - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 3:21 pm:
your pants just spontaneously combusted
- Anonymous - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 3:31 pm:
“Looove your stick, Your Bishopness. I’ve hired a new Deputy Director of Communications, and that might come in handy when it’s time to give her the hook….heh,heh.”
- Dance Band on the Titanic - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 3:53 pm:
Rauner thought bubble: “That’ll be a cool costume for my next south side church visit.”
- Ginhouse Tommy - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 4:34 pm:
On the ice or off the old hockey goalie has got to have a piece of wood in his hand. Looking at Rauner he probably thinking Why I outta…
- zatoichi - Friday, Oct 13, 17 @ 4:54 pm:
BR: My word is my bond. You can count on it.
BP: Really? At least try to be sincere.