Kids, the key to success is to type with ten fingers, not two like you do these days. Say it with me: a, s, d, f, j, k, l, semi…semi, l, k, j, f, d, s, a.
- Dance Band on the Titanic - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:19 pm:
“Go ahead Miller. Make me a question of the day. I dare you. I double dare you.”
- Gruntled University Employee - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:22 pm:
As soon as we legalize weed I’m gonna split a blunt this long with Madigan and Cullerton … then order a dozen pizzas. We’ll get a balanced budget, trust me.
“43 yards. The Rams kicker hit a 57 yarder to win THEIR game. All that SOB had to do was get it between the posts from 43 yards. But nnnnooooooooooo……”
Listen, I’m a serious guy. I’m not gonna take any funny stuff from youse two dar.
Im not gonna tell ya agin, $175 million was spare change. Somebody had to stop that bum. I had nothin’ else ta do. So why shouldn’t I spend %175 million.
Stay in the Hilton. Stay in the Marriot. You don’t have to stay in a Hyatt hotel. I don’t care. Just come to Illinois. It’s a great place to visit, do business, and raise a family. We have a lot to offer. So come and visit the Great State of Illinois. Yes, we have a few problems, but we’ve are implementing our plans to fix them.
- Michelle Flaherty - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 2:55 pm:
Yeah, I saw what the other guy did and my stuff is going to go this way, to the left.
- Team America - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:00 pm:
No, how YOU doin?
- Skeptic - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:01 pm:
“…let’s hear the Sopranos and Altos at measure 54, make sure you pay attention to the key signature…”
- SaulGoodman - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:01 pm:
You get a car. And you get a car. And you get a car. And YOU get a car.
- City Zen - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:03 pm:
My Apple watch informs me I’ve taken this many steps today.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:03 pm:
“They sent *you two guys* to make me change my mind?”
- The Captain - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:03 pm:
“The waterpark is going to have at least two awesome slides, one that goes like this and one that goes like this.”
- New Slang - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:04 pm:
To state union employees: “You get a raise!! AND YOU get a raise!! AND YOU GET A RAISE!!!!”
- jimmydean - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:04 pm:
ok, what is it exactly that i need to do here?
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:04 pm:
“This time, sing it with a bit more… zeal. A one and a two.., “
- MG85 - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:05 pm:
“I have this much considerable political will left.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:06 pm:
Sorry - Skeptic -, was tying when you commented..
“They… they… are holdovers… “
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:06 pm:
You come to me today, the day of my daughter’s wedding…
- Dave Dahl - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:07 pm:
“We’ll be back with the Magic Tones for the Armada Room’s two-hour disco swing party right after this short break. Til then, don’t you go changing.”
- A guy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:08 pm:
I know a lot of Millers. Which one you talkin’ about?
- Wow - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:09 pm:
Woa!!! Stop right there!! Explain how this House Rules Committee works????
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:11 pm:
“You two are the legislative liaisons for what?”
- Stuntman Bob's Brother - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:11 pm:
That’s correct, I’ll take the salmon platter AND the glazed ham.
- don the legend - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:11 pm:
“I don’t want to hear that other guy’s name ever again, capiche?”
- alreadydeparted - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:12 pm:
I’m the guy doing his job, you must be the other guys
- Earnest - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:12 pm:
Kids, the key to success is to type with ten fingers, not two like you do these days. Say it with me: a, s, d, f, j, k, l, semi…semi, l, k, j, f, d, s, a.
- Dome Gnome - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:14 pm:
“Is it true I don’t have to wear a tie?”
- Ron Burgundy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:16 pm:
Yeah the family owns a cruise line or two… here’s my best Isaac the Bartender impression from Love Boat!
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:16 pm:
“So… you comment on Capitol Fax… and you comment on Capitol Fax… who doesn’t comment on Capitol Fax?”
- dbk - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:16 pm:
“This is important so I’m pointing it out ambidextrously.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:18 pm:
“You’re… Maroon 5?”
- Dance Band on the Titanic - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:19 pm:
“Go ahead Miller. Make me a question of the day. I dare you. I double dare you.”
- Gruntled University Employee - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:22 pm:
As soon as we legalize weed I’m gonna split a blunt this long with Madigan and Cullerton … then order a dozen pizzas. We’ll get a balanced budget, trust me.
- reddevil1 - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:24 pm:
We are all part of this “Circle of Trust”….lets stay inside of this circle and not on the outside
- Ben Gazzara - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:24 pm:
“43 yards. The Rams kicker hit a 57 yarder to win THEIR game. All that SOB had to do was get it between the posts from 43 yards. But nnnnooooooooooo……”
- LizPhairTax - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:25 pm:
Alright so if he’s the rabbi, then YOU must be Kam Buckner
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:26 pm:
“You all… are my brain trust”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:27 pm:
“This kitchen cabinet thing… is a… metaphor?”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:29 pm:
‘Who took the string? Who?? I was doin’ Cats Cradle and somebody took my string… Who took my string?”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:30 pm:
“Or I can take one from column a, one from column b… or 2 from the same column… but then I don’t get discount… “
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:33 pm:
“No… again… Would that it were so simple… would that it were so simple… would that it were so simple”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:36 pm:
“You guys are… triple-double super exempt state employees… what is that?”
- Concerned Dem - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:37 pm:
J… B… Governor… do do do do do, JB Governor…
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:38 pm:
“You’re both… Senator Cullerton?”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:41 pm:
“So… you’re Swoop… and you’re… Gritty… and you’re here to see Anne Caprara… not me… the governor… do I have that right?”
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:44 pm:
Gonna be hard to top OW at 3:41. Just sayin…
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:51 pm:
Just sayin’ … the exits are there and there
- Dwight B. - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:51 pm:
Mike, there is a new rich guy in town, and this one is a multi-billionaire, so lets play nice or someone could get hurt.
- Red Dog - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:55 pm:
Size of a step
- Huh? - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 3:57 pm:
I tole ya, I’m not dat oder guy. I’m in charge.
- RNUG - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 4:00 pm:
Open the coats … I don’t wanna be seeing any wires …
- Tequila Mockingbird - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 4:01 pm:
I kid you not. There was a time I could fit through a space this big.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 4:03 pm:
“Now youse can’t leave…”
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 4:16 pm:
Wait, you’re saying the temperature was below zero yesterday and today it’s raining?
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 4:20 pm:
“You two characters are going to Top Gun.”
- Cook County Commoner - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 4:22 pm:
This much deficit is a good thing.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 4:26 pm:
“Lemme get this… you’re from Edgar country… you’re from Lincoln county… and I have to guess who’s trying to fool me… “
- Keyrock - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 4:27 pm:
Focus, Amanda. Focus.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 4:32 pm:
Really, enough with the toilet jokes.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 4:37 pm:
Thanks, Rich… I could see that happening.
“You want dry white toast… you… four whole fried chickens… and a Coke?”
I let that sit out there, so I’ll take it.
- jimbo - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 4:47 pm:
Orange whip?
- Fantasma - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 5:27 pm:
I’m going to spend money from my left hand and my right.
- JudgeSmails - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 5:53 pm:
” I want a hamburger,,,no..I want a CHEESEBURGER…I want..
- Commonsense in Illinois - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 5:59 pm:
So, let me get this straight…You put the lime in the coconut…
(Sorry, an oldie but goodie.)
- Billinois - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 6:12 pm:
“You two are the last people in Illinois that aren’t part of my transition team.”
- Illinois Resident - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 6:14 pm:
You need to pass cannabis legalization like yesterday.
- Anon - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 6:55 pm:
“I’m a WILD and CRAZY guy…. “
- SLAM - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 7:17 pm:
Let me get this straight, what I want doesn’t matter, only what you two guys want?
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 7:27 pm:
And next we will take the toilets out of every house in the state and boom pension problem fixed.
- Huh? - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 8:01 pm:
Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
- Huh? - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 8:15 pm:
Now lemme get dis straight, ta pass any ting, I gotta count votes in da House and da Senate? Lemme tink here, 70 for da House an 36 for da Senate.
- Huh? - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 8:22 pm:
Listen, I’m a serious guy. I’m not gonna take any funny stuff from youse two dar.
Im not gonna tell ya agin, $175 million was spare change. Somebody had to stop that bum. I had nothin’ else ta do. So why shouldn’t I spend %175 million.
- Huh? - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 8:33 pm:
So youse two guys pass da laws and I gotta sign if I want the law to be legal?
So lemma get did straight, da governor owns what ever he signs?
So if what you tell me is true, we gotta pass a budget by the end of May?
- Huh? - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 8:35 pm:
I’m tellin’ ya, don’t go dar. Ya got one chance and den yer cut off, so don’t go dar.
- Huh? - Tuesday, Jan 22, 19 @ 8:41 pm:
Stay in the Hilton. Stay in the Marriot. You don’t have to stay in a Hyatt hotel. I don’t care. Just come to Illinois. It’s a great place to visit, do business, and raise a family. We have a lot to offer. So come and visit the Great State of Illinois. Yes, we have a few problems, but we’ve are implementing our plans to fix them.
- Kayak - Wednesday, Jan 23, 19 @ 4:10 am:
IPI and Illinois News Network. AND you guys drove here together. Riiight.