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Caption contest!

Thursday, Mar 23, 2023 - Posted by Rich Miller

* A subscriber sent me a pic he took of this Cigar Aficionado profile…


       

71 Comments
  1. - Red Ketcher - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 8:53 am:

    “Say goodnight Gracie “


  2. - Stuck in Celliniland - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 8:57 am:

    “Let’s bust a move.”


  3. - CentralILCentrist - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 8:58 am:

    Dos Equis? No, Dos Hoyo Epis


  4. - Cardinal Fan - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:02 am:

    Alexi . . . Gettin’ it done for the ‘Common Man’.


  5. - Norseman - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:03 am:

    Mr. Secretary, the Director of IDPH is on line 1.


  6. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:06 am:

    “The Comeback”

    “I’m the king now”

    “Count me out again”

    “Hey, Anna, how’s things?”

    “… you best not miss”

    “Fools, you had me gone”

    “Who’s gonna stop me now? You?”

    “Sure, I give out loans. Let’s talk about the vig”

    “I’m here to help you, you believe me, I want to help you”

    “Now he’s got Alexi as a partner. Business is bad…”

    “Meh, it fell off a truck”

    “I’m a businessman. You know”


  7. - Chicago Republican - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:07 am:

    Dick Durbin is who I wanna be.


  8. - Jocko - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:07 am:

    “I don’t normally campaign, but when I do, it’s for a high profile office.”


  9. - Steve Rogers - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:10 am:

    Lung cancer-1, all smokers-0


  10. - Keyrock - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:13 am:

    “You can fool most of the people some of the time.”


  11. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:14 am:

    “I know a guy”

    “I’m in… the import-export business”

    “Yeah, I saw the menu, here’s what *I* want”

    “Now make my shoes shine like mirrors”

    “Go see Jimmy, he’s got a job for you”

    “For us to live any other way was nuts. Uh, to us, those goody-good people who worked lousy jobs for bum paychecks and took the “L” to work every day, and worried about their bills, were dead. If we wanted something, we just took it. If anyone complained twice …they never complained again.”


  12. - Stuck in Celliniland - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:15 am:

    “My rec basketball team was better than the ‘99 Bulls.”


  13. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:18 am:

    “Look at me, I’m reputable”


  14. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:19 am:

    “What I do, for a small fee, is help youse, when youse got nowheres else to go”


  15. - Davos - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:21 am:

    Funny how that every profile written about him mentions his “professional” basketball career.


  16. - Henry Francis - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:24 am:

    Humble public servant promotes smoking.


  17. - The Truth - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:24 am:

    “I mean, I guess I’m a Bill Clinton fan, why do you ask?”


  18. - Davos - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:25 am:

    = Funny how that every profile written about him mentions his “professional” basketball career. =

    It’s probably a good thing he wasn’t a federal prosecutor, but at least that would more relevant.


  19. - twowaystreet - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:26 am:

    “How’s it going, old sport?”

    “Obama? I used to smoke that guy on the court”


  20. - Jocko - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:26 am:

    The name is G. Alexi G.


  21. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:27 am:

    “Ten years ago… I said by now I’d go legit.”

    “He was known as ‘The Bank’ and that wasn’t because he used the backboard to make baskets…”

    “House Money”

    “Now when I park illegally it’s ok, I mean it was ok before, but now it’s ok like legit ok”

    “No, use the back entrance, thru the kitchen”


  22. - twowaystreet - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:30 am:

    “I also do close up magic on the side”


  23. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:31 am:

    “I don’t have… union problems…”


  24. - Friendly Bob Adams - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:39 am:

    That suit doesn’t seem to be fitting him very well…


  25. - Michelle Flaherty - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:40 am:

    Prediction: Next AFSCME contract includes cigar lounge.


  26. - Madigan's Apple - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:41 am:

    “Please clap”


  27. - Three Dimensional Checkers - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:42 am:

    We’re bigger than US Steel.


  28. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:43 am:

    “Relax. It’s fine. Everyting is bu-tee-ful”


  29. - OneMan - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:43 am:

    == My dream one day is to own a cigar lounge ==

    Is that before or after being Governor/Senator/Something Else?

    Looking forward to seeing him in Whisky Advocate and Wine Spectator to get the triple crown of dudeness.


  30. - 47th Ward - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:43 am:

    Don’t worry about anything Frankie Five Angels.


  31. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:44 am:

    “We now have one of our own as a member”


  32. - DS - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:44 am:

    He’s the Eighties Guy from Futurama.


  33. - OneMan - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:45 am:

    SoS announces plans to add hardwood paneling, oversized leather chairs, and jazz music to all driver facilities.

    It will be like going to Iwan Ries man.


  34. - Al - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:45 am:

    Photograph of a reputable Olive oil importer whose family bank went belly up with a lot of poorly secured loans to shady characters.

    -cough-


  35. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:47 am:

    “I like da way he sings ‘Chicago’…”


  36. - Blooms of Spring - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:51 am:

    The most interesting Secretary of State in the world.


  37. - Stuck in Celliniland - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:52 am:

    ==jazz music to all driver facilities==

    “It will be the same jazz you enjoy when other offices put you on hold.”


  38. - Lurker - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:52 am:

    “I’m in Cigar Aficionado and not GQ because I wear an ill-fitting tie the same color as my suit, not because of my smile.”


  39. - Torco Sign - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 9:59 am:

    Modernizing the way people look at Chicago politicians, one, smoke-filled room at a time


  40. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:03 am:

    “We let a stranger in our house”


  41. - Bruce( no not him) - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:03 am:

    I don’t actually smoke indoors, I just pose for magazines.


  42. - Sayitaintso - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:11 am:

    ”I’m known far and wide as the guy who knows how to blow smoke”


  43. - Poor Taxpayer - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:13 am:

    Groucho Marx wannabe


  44. - JS Mill - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:18 am:

    “Why yes, I am feeling a little ‘backed up’, how could you tell?”


  45. - Amalia - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:19 am:

    Smoked filled room still applies


  46. - King of Nothing - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:21 am:

    . . . .and they said I was Fredo . . . . .


  47. - Tim - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:25 am:

    Alexi Giannoulias: immediately returning the image of a smoke-filled room to an office where his predecessor spent years restoring its integrity.


  48. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:40 am:

    “I don’t care who you are, Mr. Big Shot. No smoking in the public library.”


  49. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:42 am:

    “I’m a man of da people. I buys my suits off the rack and my see-gars at Walgreen’s.”


  50. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:43 am:

    “A man becomes preeminent, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms… What are mine? What is that which gives me joy?”


  51. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:44 am:

    “Don’t sweat it. This is just a Tootsie Roll.”


  52. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:45 am:

    “I gotta go now. I got an appointment to get my suit shined.”


  53. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:50 am:

    “I hadda lay off da Corona Coronas. They made my breath smell like Dennis Rodman’s sweat socks.”


  54. - Dumbfounded - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:52 am:

    “I am so busy. I never have a minute to think. Except for the five hours I’m spending on this photo shoot. But other than that I’m terribly terribly busy.”


  55. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:54 am:

    “… Senator Giannoulias, Governor Giannoulias…”


  56. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 10:57 am:

    “Did I tell ya I played pro basketball in Greece? And in my spare time, I recorded the English dubbing on Hercules movies.”


  57. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 11:00 am:

    “‘Forget about it’ is, like, if you agree with someone, you know, like ‘Raquel Welch? Forget about it’ But then, if you disagree, like ‘A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it’ You know? But then, it’s also like if something’s the greatest thing in the world, like, ‘Those peppers, Forget about it’ … But… Sometimes it just means ‘Forget about it’.”


  58. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 11:02 am:

    “Cigars slow me down. Especially when I’m out in an alley hacking my lungs out. But hey, it’s a small price to pay to look pompous.”


  59. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 11:03 am:

    “My favorite cigar smoker? That would have to be Rush Limbaugh. He is…What? He what?”


  60. - Captain Obvious - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 11:42 am:

    Bill who? What? Nooooooooo….


  61. - Independent - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 11:50 am:

    And to think I complained about the cigarette smell after taking over Topinka’s office. A man can evolve.


  62. - Rudy’s teeth - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 11:57 am:

    Alexi should lose the tie, unbutton the shirt, add a gold chain, and a pinky ring.

    Mr. G., your table is ready.


  63. - Thicc Offerman - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 11:58 am:

    Is that article from 1997?


  64. - Huh? - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 12:10 pm:

    Compensating for shortcomings


  65. - Huh? - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 12:28 pm:

    Why, yes I went to hair club for men.


  66. - Dotnonymous - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 1:13 pm:

    A cigar is just a cigar…sometimes.


  67. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 1:58 pm:

    “For a change of pace, I like to smoke Swisher’s Sweets. They dunk ‘em in prune juice, y’know.”


  68. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 2:14 pm:

    “I like to store my cigars in shoe boxes. What? What’s wrong with that?”


  69. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 2:41 pm:

    (You’ll have to imagine the banned punctuation on this one):

    “Look, everybody. I’m a grown-up now.”


  70. - Dotnonymous - Thursday, Mar 23, 23 @ 2:46 pm:

    Tobacco addiction causes ill health and premature death… and a much less attractive portrait.


  71. - Wallace Gator Bradley - Friday, Mar 24, 23 @ 12:08 pm:

    Now tell him to pay me the $25,000.00 he owe. https://chicagocrusader.com/bradleys-request-to-change-demand-to-25k-in-suit-against-giannoulias-granted/


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