Question of the day
Wednesday, Jun 14, 2023 - Posted by Rich Miller
* Upworthy describes itself as a site which “strives to share the best of humanity with the world.” An article on the site today claims that Gov. Pritzker’s Northwestern commencement address was “a lesson in kindness”…
“Over my many years in politics and business, I have found one thing to be universally true—the kindest person in the room is often the smartest,” Pritzker says.
Priztker’s observation may sound nice, but it is rooted in research. Numerous studies have found that people who have lower cognitive abilities—or, as Pritzker and Dwight Schrute would call them, “idiots”—are more likely to harbor bigoted beliefs about people who are different.
Pritzker concluded his speech by summarizing the lessons he learned from watching “The Office.”
“Be more substance than show. Set aside cruelty for kindness. Put one foot in front of the other even when you don’t know your way. And always try and appreciate the good old days when you are actually in them,” Pritzker said. “And remember what Dwight Schrute said, ‘You only live once? False! You live every day! You only die once.’”
* The Question: Agree or disagree with this Upworthy take? Explain.
- vern - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 9:34 am:
I prefer Jimmy Stewart’s take on the matter, from Harvey (1950): “In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUOxEwCuEgQ
- Ducky LaMoore - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 9:38 am:
Totally agree. Kindness is learned. You learn it by thinking before you speak. A guy once told me, “I’m the smartest guy in the room, and when I’m not, I will let you know.” He had no idea what he was talking about most of the time. When I was younger, I thought I had it all figured out, never thinking before I spoke. And then I realized I was a complete idiot. So I started pulling my head out of my @$$. It’s almost halfway out. It is a lifelong process.
- Norseman - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 9:41 am:
I haven’t read the research and can’t speak to the qualitative evidence of intelligence, but I agree with the premise that you’re better off trusting the judgment of a kind person than that of an unkind person. I see the evidence of the reverse everyday in the news.
It was a great speech by the Gov with messages to take heed.
- Perrid - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 9:43 am:
I don’t really think there’s much correlation between intelligence and kindness. I think it’s a safer bet to be kind most of the time, there is a lot of truth in “What goes around comes around”, but at the least it’s more complicated than JB is saying. Still, it’s a beautiful sentiment that I WANT to be true, even if I can’t make myself believe it.
- Alice Childress - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 9:45 am:
“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
So yah, I agree wholeheartedly.
- Amalia - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 9:46 am:
Agree. the speech was great. loved it and I’m not a quote it fan of The Office. It was light hearted but filled with wisdom.
- froganon - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 9:49 am:
Good advice for the grads and for the rest of us. Kindness is a gift to others and a gift to oneself.
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 9:51 am:
Agree. It’s nice to be important; it’s more important to be nice.
- Three Dimensional Checkers - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 9:52 am:
Somewhat. The people in charge are often not the smartest or the kindest however, so it does not really matter.
- Dan Johnson - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 9:52 am:
I think it is one of the under-appreciated political traits and something I noticed a lot of House Dem women (in particular) have tended to emphasize over the years.
Empathy and kindness is kind of a theme. And it’s nice!
I mean, some legislators use it as their signature line.
- Sir Reel - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:05 am:
Absolutely agree. Pay close attention to how people treat children and animals. Kindness and patience are windows.
- Papa2008 - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:07 am:
I’ve advised everyone I’ve ever mentored: “Smile, be nice, follow the golden rule”. You can’t control everyone else, but you can control yourself.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:09 am:
If you could only be one, would you rather be rich or kind?
Your answer tells a lot about you.
- Excitable Boy - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:20 am:
It’s not always true but it’s a good rule of thumb. A lot of people act like a jerk to avoid being challenged, it’s a crutch to hide their insecurities.
- Squirrel - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:23 am:
Makes sense. A lot of bigotry is due to ignorance. Whether or not that ignorance is intentional is what causes problems.
I think we saw the stark difference between these two groups during the George Floyd protests… the group of people that educated themselves (the pic of the guy with the “Sorry I took so long, I had a lot to learn” sign comes to mind); and the group that doubled down on their ignorance.
I admittedly have a hard time dealing with the ignorant by choice people… that’s where my kindness usually ends.
- TheInvisibleMan - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:23 am:
From the research posted;
“individuals with lower cognitive ability gravitate toward authoritarian ideologies, which offer a psychological sense of stability and order.”
The problem is that statement, while true, will be labelled as ‘unkind’, or worse, ‘uncivil’.
Pointing out these realities, and there are many similar statements in the referenced studies, to those who don’t want to hear them will then make you unkind. There are some realities that are unable to be described in a kind way. Especially if your statements are pointing out a defect. It doesn’t matter if the statement in no way assigns blame, the unkindness perceived is pointing out the defect. This then leads to ignoring things that are so unpleasant there is no way to describe them in a kind way. Because you want to always be kind. That’s a HUGE problem.
Statements of kindness are fine - if you are always the one defining kindness. In the larger world, that’s not always going to be the case and other approaches are more appropriate.
Statements of kindness are the flip-side of this same authoritarian mindset, that simplifies the world into a blanket statement. However, life is complex - blanket statements are taking the easy way out of a complex world.
It’s far harder to take the actions of each individual and treat them accordingly, than it is to just make a blanket statement. But it makes for a good commencement speech.
- TheInvisibleMan - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:24 am:
–would you rather be rich or kind?–
Who gets to define each of those things?
You, or someone else?
Not so easy now, is it.
- Captain Obvious - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:25 am:
I don’t know if smart people are more kind, but the very few truly mean people I have encountered were not the the brightest bulbs in the box. They seemed to me to be using a mean temperament to compensate for or draw attention away from their deficiencies.
- Lucky Pierre - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:29 am:
Leo Durocher had it wrong
Nice guys don’t finish last
JB should practice what he preaches
He is certainly about as partisan as you can get.
He does not hesitate to paint his political opponents (45% of the state) with a broad brush with hyperbole not grounded in reality
Can you imagine JB sitting down with Sean Hannity for an hour long, friendly interview with plenty of spirited disagreements like Gavin Newsom did this week?
Me neither
- Donnie Elgin - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:31 am:
“a lesson in kindness”…
I prefer Nick Lowe’s take
You’ve gotta be cruel to be kind, in the right measure
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:36 am:
Invisible, was your response to my comment kind?
You’re right, then. Not so easy to define kindness.
- TheInvisibleMan - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:41 am:
–Invisible, was your response to my comment kind?–
It was a question.
Please answer it, not avoid it.
- 33rd denizen - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:45 am:
== I don’t really think there’s much correlation between intelligence and kindness. ==
I agree, but the reality is that people tend to hire and work with those they like. So if you’re really smart and no one likes you — or even if you’re generally friendly but make a big mistake or two that tarnish your reputation — you won’t leave the thumb print on the world that you otherwise could have.
JB’s speech was great, btw. Not sure if Anne wrote/revised it or how much JB re-wrote it, but kudos.
- Arsenal - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:48 am:
==Not so easy now, is it.==
You might notice that SC never claimed it was easy.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 10:58 am:
Invisible,
All right, I’ll answer it.
I and millions of others use the Bible to define kindness: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. (Matthew 7:12)
If you don’t think the Golden Rule is a sensible definition of kindness, I’d like to hear a better one. No snark.
ps: Thanks, Arsenal.
- TheInvisibleMan - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 11:11 am:
–You might notice–
All I notice is it hasn’t been answered.
What’s going on now is avoidance. Thus making me ‘unkind’ for waiting for an answer to my question.
This is the point being made, btw.
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 11:12 am:
People, get back to the question.
- walker - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 11:14 am:
That’s the line that caught my interest in his speech. My own impression has been that JB is a remarkably kind person.
- Steve Rogers - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 11:33 am:
I’d like this to be true, but I don’t think so. Just from personal experience, I’ve known some well educated people who aren’t kind at all. And I’ve known some uneducated people who will give you the shirt off their backs.
Plus, I worry about the message the studies seem to be sending: Liberal elites calling rural uneducated whites racist rubes and idiots,. Isn’t that the message that got Trump elected in the first place?
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 11:35 am:
===well educated===
This question is not about education.
- Pundent - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 11:35 am:
I agree with this take. Anger is rooted in insecurity. Kindness is rooted in empathy. We’ve seen plenty of examples that reinforce both observations in our political environment.
- Cool Papa Bell - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 11:35 am:
In agreement.
Being cruel is the easy way out, its simple to pick someone’s faults or to mock them or talk down about their station in life. It’s simple because it never takes into account what’s going on in someone’s life or what circumstances lead to whatever it is that’s going on.
Kindness and empathy require understanding and compassion. You need both intelligence and the understanding that you need to use your intelligence to react to something.
- George - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 11:37 am:
The issue with the Upworthy take is it is using not “having bigoted beliefs” as a proxy for kindness. While there is a connection there for sure, simply lacking a certain belief doesn’t necessarily mean that you are nice to the people you interact with every day. I’ll also say that some of the nicest people I’ve ever met have intellectual disabilities, but they’re always happy and they’d do anything they could to help you.
- Jocko - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 12:20 pm:
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 1:18 pm:
As a Democrat, it would be fun if these generalizations were true, but they are not.
The best predictor of bigotry is the level of exposure an individual has to other individuals who are not like the dominant culture in which they are immersed throughout their life. That is very different than being “smart”, although high intelligence often results in life outcomes that include more diversity in one’s community, workplace, education setting, etc. So there is a loose correlation, but it is not causation.
It is much easier to believe stereotypes about Jews, Muslims, Blacks, Latinos, LGBTQA community members when you don’t know any, and most of what you do know comes from
Television.
If only education could fix this! But I assure you that you can go an almost exclusively WASP University or college and come out just as bigoted and likely more bigoted than when you went in.
Polling showed that the diversity of a community was a much better predictor of support for Trump than income.
As for kindness? I guess it depends on how you want to define it. Most people in business and government are either strongly process-oriented or outcome-oriented. Most rise either because they are very good at managing politics, whether office politics or electoral politics. Or they are very good at managing outcomes.
Few are the people who are good at both being well-liked and getting the job done.
In the end, “intelligence” has multiple dimensions, among them traditional linguistic and mathematical intelligence, as well as the less well known intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligence, which I like to call EQ, for emotional intelligence.
Keep in mind though, just as you can have high mathematical intelligence and build bombs, you can have a high Emotional Intelligence and use it to manipulate and harm the people around you. There was in fact a study about 20-30 years ago that studied lying and found the best liars had personality traits that people often associated with political leaders, such as “likeability.” See Bill Clinton.
- Dotnonymous x - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 2:03 pm:
I already liked Governor Pritzker…this makes me like him more…Intelligence without heart is blind.
- Dotnonymous x - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 2:09 pm:
- But I assure you that you can go an almost exclusively WASP University or college and come out just as bigoted and likely more bigoted than when you went in. -
All of that can be cured by developing independent critical thought based on a (honest) factual appraisal…I assure you.
- JS Mill - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 2:58 pm:
=That’s the line that caught my interest in his speech. My own impression has been that JB is a remarkably kind person.=
I agree with Walker 100%. He seems like a genuinely good person.
And LP should take notice, being a good person does not mean you have to be a punching bag for a bunch of thin-skinned bullies who can dish it out but cannot take it.
- What to Watch for - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 4:10 pm:
I hope that everyone is streaming Jury Duty. It is a hilarious and compelling comedy series/mockumentary with an unexpected lesson on and appreciation of the power of kindness.
- Hannibal Lecter - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 4:14 pm:
I find this thread funny because most people are not inherently nice.
People are truly nice people when they are nice when they do not have to be. I have seen a number of people appear kind, until they aren’t.
When I was running a small to mid agency, most people I interacted with on a day to day basis were very kind to me. I also heard stories about how those same people were horrible people to others. The status of the person you are interacting with should not dictate whether you treat them with kindness or not.
- Interested Bystander - Wednesday, Jun 14, 23 @ 4:35 pm:
Agree. In my experience kind people are listeners, generous in all ways, empathetic and emotionally intelligent. They know how to bring people together and they can discern when its important to do so. That’s how meaningful things get done.