I’m thinking something to the tune of, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”… just in time for the holiday season. I’m not that talented, though. Oswego Willy, want to take a shot at it?
Considering this is the snake from “The Jungle Book” I’m gonna go with “The Bare Necessitates,” which oddly enough is an appropriate song for this issue.
- Pot calling kettle - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:31 pm:
“The Rake’s Song” by the Decemberists
I had entered into a bargain
In the summer of my election year
And the bells rang for my election
Only now do I remember it clear
Alright, alright, alright
No more a rake and no more a gadfly
I was elected and it whetted my thirst
Until the unions started talking about pensions
Only then did I reckon my curse
Alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright
First came AFSME demanding raises
Then came the teachers and that wretched SEIU
Ugly cost shift died on delivery
Mercifully taking Ty Fahner along
Alright, alright, alright
What can one do when one is Governor?
Shamefully saddled with five pension plans
All that I wanted was the freedom of a new life
So my burden I began to divest
Alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright
SEIU, I buried after feeding her foxglove
The teachers were easy, they drowned in the bath
AFSCME fought but was easily bested
Burned their contract for incurring my wrath
Alright, alright, alright
And that’s how I came your humble narrator
To be living so easy and free
Expect you think that I should be haunted
But it never really bothers me
Alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright
As a note of information: Rich and his brothers knew every line of every song on the “Jungle Book” album. And so did I as we sang them together marching throughout the house to “Col Hathi’s March” pushing my wife a little closer to the edge.
- Joe Bidenopoulous - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 1:18 pm:
To the tune of something you’ve never heard unless you like subversive music created for two-year olds:
Chorus:
I’m Squeezy the pension snake
Created by a loony flake
I’m Squeezy the pension snake
I’m comin’ to your town
Verses:
Slitherin’ round the Capitol
Feastin’ on new revenues
Oh! There’s bad Tom Cross
He wants to make the evening news
I’ll show him a thing or two
Feed me crap, I’ll grow some more
When Tom sees me comin’ round
It’s Katy bar the Office door!
Some say I’m art, and some say no
Big red eyes and a goofy grin
A cost shift makes most sense
Don’t count on it from Commander Quinn
The only way to shrink my size
Is commitment and some wounded pride
You’ve got to share the pain
Or grow me more til you abide
“I pinched Eve on the bottom
patted Adam on the back
I smiled at the serpent
He smiled back
I took a bite from the apple with two bites gone
and hollered, ‘Euphoria!’”
Besides blatantly ripping off the Disney snake, you have to wonder how much of that clip art they used in this video was actually paid for, either. I don’t think this looks very professional at all. Its a muddled message at best, and not very creative. We waited HOW LONG for this now? I would love to know the name of the person that came up with/authorized this hot mess. I’m putting them up for a Golden Lion at Canne. (It may look a little bit like Simba.)
–”I saved you,” cried that woman
“And you’ve bit me even, why?
You know your bite is poisonous and now I’m going to die”
“Oh shut up, silly woman,” said the reptile with a grin
“You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in” –
LIVE session coverage...
- Madison - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:30 am:
Sneaky Snake goes dancing…
- Walk in my shoes - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:31 am:
Ray Stevens - I don’t like spiders or snakes!
- Yossarian Lives - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:31 am:
I’m thinking something to the tune of, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”… just in time for the holiday season. I’m not that talented, though. Oswego Willy, want to take a shot at it?
- OneMan - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:32 am:
Squeezebox by the Who or Don’t Bring Me Down by ELO
- Rich Miller - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:32 am:
Actually, this may be too obvious: “Trust in Me” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1ILPl5FQaM
- MrJM - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:34 am:
Gonna be tough to beat this one: http://goo.gl/1fHq7
– MrJM
- OneMan - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:36 am:
Pat’s got a python and it’s
the biggest one yet
And when the debt python comes home
He can’t ever spend
Because it’s underfunded all night
And it Squeezing so tight
Pats on a debt python
Pat can hand out checks..
Well the teachers wont teach
A prison guards can’t reach
There is no hiding from the python
he will eat your whole balance sheet
- Will - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:37 am:
Paula Abdul’s hit “Cold Hearted Snake” about a cheating two-timer should speak to a lot of AFSCME members who helped Quinn get elected.
- The Captain - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:40 am:
Ray Parker Jr, your country needs you again.
- Jake From Elwood - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:48 am:
Rainmakers “Snakedance”
This is the lion’s den.
I hope you knew that before you came in.
This is where the angels and the devils fight.
We’re choosing up sides tonight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Hgl4VvcHU4
- zatoichi - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:49 am:
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life- Monty Python
Crawlin King Snake Blues - John Lee Hooker
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:52 am:
My “Achilles heel”…
Looking up these have made me laugh.
Funny stuff
- TCB - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:52 am:
@Madison, you dog!!! You beat me to it!
I never thought I’d see the day of a Tom T. Hall reference on the CapFax
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnSqOz47NbE
- Dirty Red - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:00 pm:
A parody version of The Lemon Song. Squeeze my pension.
- Angry Republican - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:03 pm:
Here I go Again by Whitesnake. Very appropriate for this governor
“An’ here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone”
- train111 - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:04 pm:
Johnny Cash:
I’m being swallowed by a Boa Constrictor
train111
- Wensicia - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:06 pm:
I can’t follow Youtube links at work…Did anyone pick “Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent?
- Captain Illini - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:08 pm:
It should be obvious…
“Tempted by the fruit of another”
(Since these guys in the legislature are constantly tempted by spending other people’s money and stiffing the rest of us…)
By: Squeeze
- The Shadow - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:13 pm:
Considering this is the snake from “The Jungle Book” I’m gonna go with “The Bare Necessitates,” which oddly enough is an appropriate song for this issue.
- Eddy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:29 pm:
Eye of the Python
- Pot calling kettle - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:31 pm:
“The Rake’s Song” by the Decemberists
I had entered into a bargain
In the summer of my election year
And the bells rang for my election
Only now do I remember it clear
Alright, alright, alright
No more a rake and no more a gadfly
I was elected and it whetted my thirst
Until the unions started talking about pensions
Only then did I reckon my curse
Alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright
First came AFSME demanding raises
Then came the teachers and that wretched SEIU
Ugly cost shift died on delivery
Mercifully taking Ty Fahner along
Alright, alright, alright
What can one do when one is Governor?
Shamefully saddled with five pension plans
All that I wanted was the freedom of a new life
So my burden I began to divest
Alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright
SEIU, I buried after feeding her foxglove
The teachers were easy, they drowned in the bath
AFSCME fought but was easily bested
Burned their contract for incurring my wrath
Alright, alright, alright
And that’s how I came your humble narrator
To be living so easy and free
Expect you think that I should be haunted
But it never really bothers me
Alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright
http://youtu.be/srAjD6JBlOU
- South of Sherman - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:32 pm:
“You Really Got A Hold On Me” — the Miracles (or the Beatles)
“The Snake” — Al Wilson
- hisgirlfriday - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:38 pm:
Squeezy the Python
Was an Ineffectual Pension Meme
With some yellow scales and a long gray tongue
And a bizarre youtube ad scheme.
- Pot calling kettle - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:38 pm:
Turns out there are a lot of Decemberist songs that would work with only minor modifications.
- 47th Ward - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:49 pm:
Squeezy visits Springfield:
“Enough is enough! I have had it with these (deleted) snakes on this (deleted) plane!”
- Dirty Red - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:49 pm:
= Turns out there are a lot of Decemberist songs that would work with only minor modifications. =
#winning
- Church Lady - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:51 pm:
You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet!!!
- A Modest Proposal - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 12:55 pm:
Can Pongee do a cameo in the music video?
- Rich Miller Sr - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 1:13 pm:
As a note of information: Rich and his brothers knew every line of every song on the “Jungle Book” album. And so did I as we sang them together marching throughout the house to “Col Hathi’s March” pushing my wife a little closer to the edge.
- Joe Bidenopoulous - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 1:18 pm:
To the tune of something you’ve never heard unless you like subversive music created for two-year olds:
Chorus:
I’m Squeezy the pension snake
Created by a loony flake
I’m Squeezy the pension snake
I’m comin’ to your town
Verses:
Slitherin’ round the Capitol
Feastin’ on new revenues
Oh! There’s bad Tom Cross
He wants to make the evening news
I’ll show him a thing or two
Feed me crap, I’ll grow some more
When Tom sees me comin’ round
It’s Katy bar the Office door!
Some say I’m art, and some say no
Big red eyes and a goofy grin
A cost shift makes most sense
Don’t count on it from Commander Quinn
The only way to shrink my size
Is commitment and some wounded pride
You’ve got to share the pain
Or grow me more til you abide
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 1:23 pm:
===Oswego Willy, want to take a shot at it?===
Working on it …
- Soccertease - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 1:27 pm:
Friends in Low Places - G. Brooks
- Anyone Remember? - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 1:30 pm:
“(I did it) My Way”
(Anka, Sinatra, or Elvis versions all work)
- Suburbs - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 1:41 pm:
You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
- Anonymice - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 1:47 pm:
For an Illinois Governor’s pet project, it’s gotta be, “He’s in the Jailhouse Now”
- siriusly - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 1:55 pm:
In The Year 2525 by Zager & Evans.
- Nuance - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 2:04 pm:
Puff the magic dragon
- Springfieldwatcher - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 2:13 pm:
How about Gypsy for Gypsy’s Tramps and Thieves
Or Puff the Magic Dragon
- Anonymous - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 2:15 pm:
I am surprised Disney hasn’t called Quinn and request they take down their character Kaa from the website.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 2:20 pm:
I don’t know why, but I keep thinking Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ “I Put A Spell On You” might be appropriate… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orNpH6iyokI
- Arthur Andersen - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 2:25 pm:
Me too Willy.
Let’s do this!
For the Good of Illinois.
- Hawkeye - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 2:41 pm:
NOT too obvious Rich for those of us who saw Jungle Book. The key phrase is the next line….
“Trust in me
ONLY me”.
- Pot calling kettle - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 2:56 pm:
The Doobie Bros: “What a Fool Believes”
- Pale Rider - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 2:58 pm:
How about a remake if Boris the Spider to Squeezy the Snake.
- Obamas Puppy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 3:23 pm:
Wasn’t Squeezy the 8th dwarf?
- siriusly - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 3:27 pm:
I once knew a precinct captain named Squeezy. He only showed up on election day to ask for lunch and cash to “buy the judges donuts and coffee.”
- Arthur Andersen - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 3:38 pm:
Willy, I’m ready. How you doing?
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 3:46 pm:
Working, and working on it …
- Arthur Andersen - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 3:53 pm:
That likely means yours will be really, really funny.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 3:56 pm:
===That likely means yours will be really, really funny.===
No pressure!
There are loads of good ones, and I bet yours is good, so I will catch up.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 4:07 pm:
Squeezy, the Pension Python,
is not a smart game plan.
And if he came through email,
He would probably go to Spam.
All of the other game plans
mand Quinn laugh and call them names.
Those Plans were not like Squeezy
“Look Staff, we ain’t playin games”.
Then one early Monday Morn
Quinn’s staff came to say:
“Squeezy is are plan, alright,
So Rich don’t post until tonight?”
Then all the Posters loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the Squeezy the Pension Python,
you’ll go down in history!
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 4:10 pm:
Squeezy, the Pension Python,
is not a very smart game plan.
And if he came through email,
He would probably go to Spam.
All of the other game plans
made Quinn laugh and call them names.
Those Plans were not like Squeezy
“Look Staff, we ain’t playin games”.
Then one early Monday Morn
Quinn’s staff came to say:
“Squeezy is are plan, alright,
So Rich don’t post until tonight?”
Then all the Posters loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Squeezy the Pension Python,
you’ll go down in history!
Sorry Cut and Pasted the draft …
Better
- Boone Logan Square - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 4:18 pm:
Fleetwood Mac, Rattlesnake Shake
Wire, A Serious of Snakes
Bob Dylan, Tight Connection to My Heart
Robbie Fulks, (I Love) Nickels and Dimes
- Arthur Andersen - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 4:23 pm:
Willy, awesome.
Alternatively:
Squeezy the Pension Python
had a very shaky start,
Had you been there to see it
You would say he had no heart
All of the pension pundits
looked at him and called him names,
They weren’t gonna let that Squeezy
Bring an end to Pension Games
Then one hazy Turkey Eve
Quinnie said to Squeeze,
“Squeezy with your head so big
Won’t you do me one more gig?”
Then as the kiddies watched him,
and they shouted one two three
“Squeezy the Pension Python,
who the heck are you to me?”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 4:25 pm:
AA, well played …Very well done
- Bluefish - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 4:26 pm:
Frank Zappa’s “Baby Snakes”
- D.P. Gumby - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 5:13 pm:
“Hi Ho, Hi Ho, This Squeezy’s got to go….”
- Excessively Rabid - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 5:34 pm:
Holy Modal Rounders:
“I pinched Eve on the bottom
patted Adam on the back
I smiled at the serpent
He smiled back
I took a bite from the apple with two bites gone
and hollered, ‘Euphoria!’”
- Old timer - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 5:35 pm:
This was the most pathetic site I have ever seen.
- whetstone - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 5:37 pm:
Squeezy the Public Pension Python
Lives by the Dome,
And every time that Moody’s calls
Quinn says he isn’t home
- jwscott72 - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 5:51 pm:
Not sure why, but Union of the Snake by Duran Duran leapt to mind.
- Norseman - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 5:55 pm:
Bravo to AA, OW and Rich. Great creative suggestions.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 6:00 pm:
Thanks, - Norseman -.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 6:00 pm:
Thanks, - Norseman -.
- Arthur Andersen - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 6:25 pm:
Thanks Norseman. It’s my pleasure.
- Yossarian Lives - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 7:16 pm:
Very nicely played all ’round! I do like whetstone’s verse, too. And Oswego Willy, you came through as always. I knew you could do it!
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 7:45 pm:
- Yossarian Lives -,
I hate to dissapoint. The pressure is tough!
- JoeVerdeal - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 8:45 pm:
“The Impossible Dream” would fit….since it seems impossible that Illinois would ever summon up the will to face this monster situation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbDDE1Y0FZY
- Newsclown - Monday, Nov 19, 12 @ 11:12 pm:
Besides blatantly ripping off the Disney snake, you have to wonder how much of that clip art they used in this video was actually paid for, either. I don’t think this looks very professional at all. Its a muddled message at best, and not very creative. We waited HOW LONG for this now? I would love to know the name of the person that came up with/authorized this hot mess. I’m putting them up for a Golden Lion at Canne. (It may look a little bit like Simba.)
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 7:22 am:
–”I saved you,” cried that woman
“And you’ve bit me even, why?
You know your bite is poisonous and now I’m going to die”
“Oh shut up, silly woman,” said the reptile with a grin
“You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in” –