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Caption contest!

Wednesday, Aug 31, 2011

* Gov. Pat Quinn at the Farm Progress show…

Winner can come to my house for some perfectly grilled sweet corn.

And I know I don’t have to say this, but I will anyway: Keep it clean, people. Thanks. Nobody wants to get banned for life over a silly photo, right?

- Posted by Rich Miller        

108 Comments
  1. - JW - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 6:20 am:

    Anyway representative holbrooke, like I was saying …


  2. - thechampaignlife - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 6:33 am:

    Catfish was four foot long if he was an inch, I tell ya. So I said to Rahm, this casino business isn’t for the Honest Abe folks of this fine state, a state with so much heart - hey we’re twinsies. But when our fine farmers head out into the field to pour their sweat into a labor of love, that’s why we have to come together to feed the world.


  3. - PublicServant - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 6:50 am:

    I love corn. Without corn, this great state of Illinois would be where it is today. Everybody should eat more corn…except the legislators, they can’t get much more corny, and the fertilizer, no, they don’t need any more fertilizer either.


  4. - Ding Ding Ding - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 6:55 am:

    “Have I told you I was once named Mr. Soybean?”


  5. - bored now - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:03 am:

    “…and i hear we grow corn THIS big here in illinois!”


  6. - Curious - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:07 am:

    PQ: So how much do you think we can jack up the sales tax on farm equipment?


  7. - Allen Skillicorn - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:11 am:

    PQ - “How do we explain to farmers that higher taxes do a better job of spreading the wealth around?”


  8. - Cincinnatus - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:15 am:

    … and in the third leg of the Triathalon, I ride this red bike right over there…


  9. - Michelle Flaherty - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:18 am:

    Gov. Quinn consults top aides on how to go about getting 10 lbs into a 5 lb-bag.


  10. - Cincinnatus - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:19 am:

    “Hey, if this guy can have embroidery on his shirt, can I have it too? Howza ’bout Gov. Soybean. Or mebbe ‘If found, return to 2nd and Capitol Streets, Sprinfield, IL.’”


  11. - SIUPROF - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:21 am:

    Is that a new casino? See I knew that the gaming bill went too far.


  12. - truthteller - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:22 am:

    And I,m telling you, whoever wins this contest is going to get an ear of corn this big from Miller and an even bigger earful of baloney about me


  13. - Gregor - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:23 am:

    “…one of my jobs before getting into politics was in agriculture… I was a County Agent in Hooterville… that’s where I learned my public speaking skills… well, not ‘learned’, exactly..”


  14. - just sayin' - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:32 am:

    Blue shirt and kakis, it’s like the perfect outfit….hey is that one of those Transformers?….maybe you heard, they destroyed Chicago….but as I was saying….


  15. - Amuzing Myself - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:36 am:

    From the cab of the combine, Bill Brady heard saying, “Dammit! Where is the key to this thing!”


  16. - the Patriot - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:52 am:

    “So let me get this straight, there is a bird called a snipe about this big, you will drop me off in a cornfield and I just wait?”


  17. - MOON - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:55 am:

    We both need to loose this much from our waistline.


  18. - Happy Returns - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:56 am:

    Governor Quinn appears here in the only known photo connecting a sitting governor with John Kass’s nemesis.


  19. - South of I-80 - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:00 am:

    I swear I didn’t know that combine races were part of the casino gaming package!!! Ok……………what are the odds on the International vs. the Deere??


  20. - Stooges - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:01 am:

    I think Gregor wins with the Hank Kimble reference. Perfect comparison.


  21. - just sayin' - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:05 am:

    Gov. Quinn speaks while the Bi-Partisan Combine looks on.


  22. - Responsa - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:07 am:

    “So, here’s the thing–we need to focus much more on the wonderful citizens downstate and just let that shrimp, what’s his name again, deal with the press and the problems up in Chicago. The Land of Lincoln is a big state, see. We’d be working together kind of like co-governors.”


  23. - wordslinger - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:14 am:

    –“…one of my jobs before getting into politics was in agriculture… I was a County Agent in Hooterville… that’s where I learned my public speaking skills… well, not ‘learned’, exactly..” –

    Love the Hank Kimball reference. Perfect for our rambling governor, whose communication style is beyond satire.

    Green Acres was so far ahead of its time. Every time some Fox blowhard like Hannity or Reilly goes off on the Constitution or Founding Fathers, I’m reminded of one of Oliver Douglas’ impassioned monologues on the American Farmer, delivered while Mr Ziffle and Eb roll their eyes.

    What were those writers on, anyway?


  24. - bored with press - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:14 am:

    Mini-Me, you gotta help me talk about corn. I need to give a speech about corn and farms. C’mon, Mini-Me, use your words like a big boy clone.


  25. - Das Man - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:16 am:

    Where’s the cotton candy?


  26. - zatoichi - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:18 am:

    Man, look at this guy. That 14 day Ab-diet does work. He almost makes the uniform look good.


  27. - OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:19 am:

    After three hours of listening to Pat Quinn tie, corn, beans, Abe Lincoln, the state fair, MC Hammer, House Music, barge transportation, roads, Navistar, Dekalb Phiser genetics, the Warren Commission, Boeing, Sears, ComEd, Gaming, Horse racing, the Mississippi, high speed rail, the Citizens Utility Board, a trailer in East St. Louis, Oprah, V-8 and Scott Walker all together in a single rambling set of comments, the skies turned dark and the dead began to rise from the grave.


  28. - Six Degrees of Separation - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:19 am:

    So, the Illinois National Guard bought this big cannon that fires soybean pellets…you know, I was once known as Soy Boy…and I respect the service of our fine women and men in the Reserves…but, you know, Indiana keeps trying to steal our jobs…anyway, we look at as a pre-emptive strike…you know, that little guy from Chicago is a pain in my carcass…but when it comes down to state vs. state, us Illinois boys always stick together.


  29. - OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:20 am:

    Yet again Pat Quinn explains the pile of money he thinks blue shirt and Khaki day will raise at the farm progress show.


  30. - Lefty - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:22 am:

    Until I can get me arms around this governor-thing I just need to keep talking for the people of Illinois. I figure if I talk long enough about nothing everybody will eventually quit listening and paying attention, and that’s when I can really get some things done. What those things are I am not sure but the great people of Illinois will them when they see them.


  31. - Holdingontomywallet - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:23 am:

    “Let me be perfectly clear, I really do believe you would be more disappointed with Brady as governor, really, I’m serious, really…..”.


  32. - BW - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:24 am:

    In order to fit in at the Farm Progress show, PQ drops a can of mints in his front pocket to give the impression of a Skoal ring in his khakis.


  33. - OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:24 am:

    I am thrilled to be here at the farm progress show, sadly, they were not able to have any combines on display.


  34. - Spring - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:25 am:

    Gov. Quinn shows a local farmer his abnormally large thumbs, the farmer tries, but can’t help staring at them.


  35. - anonymoose - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:26 am:

    “Let’s just say I’m a man who wouldn’t know a picker if it bit him in the combine. But go ahead anyway - test my finite knowledge of corn and soy products.” PQ


  36. - in Paris - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:28 am:

    Personally, I like the lighter blue for my shirts.


  37. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:32 am:

    That round thing my pocket? Well, heh heh. . .


  38. - Responsa - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:33 am:

    “You know, it never fails to amaze me all these acres and acres of popcorn being grown across the Land of Lincoln as far as the eye can see. Who even knew there are that many movie theatres?”


  39. - PJ - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:33 am:

    But seriously though, where is all the machinery that is painted green? The kind that’s made right here in Illinois, you know – John Deere?


  40. - former wrmnpolitics - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:33 am:

    Did you know there are 342 commercial uses for a corn cob!


  41. - WazUP - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:36 am:

    “Look Governor Barbour I need a roommate for the next Governor’s conference, that Governor Perry was a real bleepin A….”


  42. - How Ironic - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:36 am:

    Quinn- So basically now I’ve got the regional school superintendents picking cotten for free. Now I do allow them to sing spirituals, would that be a problem in the corn fields?


  43. - Michelle Flaherty - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:41 am:

    Quinn sizes up his competition in the annual “Can you button the top button?” competition.
    Looks like this one’s gonna be one to watch.


  44. - Kerfuffle - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:41 am:

    “So let me tell you about fertilizer. I’ve been in politics a long time so I’m an expert on this. You get a bag about this big and you start spreading it around. Pretty soon, with the help of the fertilizer, those little problems grow into big problems and that’s when things start getting exciting giving me the opportunity to swoop in and save the day! So what around here needs fixing?”


  45. - Kevin Highland - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:42 am:

    So can you tell me about the latest technology in manure spreading…I’m sure it will help me politically.


  46. - MrJM - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:47 am:

    So a “combine” isn’t always the product of John Kass’s mental illness?

    – MrJM


  47. - UISalum - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:54 am:

    Soy Boy bellows boldy to beaming Belleville buddy.


  48. - Hereitis - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:55 am:

    In a Democracy we need corn,we need to educate our young men and women about corn. I once drove a combine that had wheels this big. In a Democracy we need our corn.


  49. - frustrated GOP - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:55 am:

    So do you think they make an electric version of these things. Of course if they were on the highway soon they will be able to charge up.


  50. - GOB - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:57 am:

    Governor Pat Quinn continues explaining a bill signed on August 22nd concerning weight restrictions on state highway travel.


  51. - OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 8:58 am:

    All you have to do is tell them they need to get paid by the silo, not you and then give them more work to do…

    It’s brilliant!


  52. - McLean Farmboy - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:02 am:

    Illinois Farm Bureau President Philip Nelson listens as Governor Quinn tries in vain to explain his flip-flop-flip on the perennial Red Paint vs. Green Paint debate.


  53. - ozzy - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:05 am:

    A third set of fingers can come in real handy when your in the middle of a long rambling story and you have an itch in a certain spot.


  54. - 47th Ward - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:07 am:

    Well he’s kind of a little fella, so I just grabbed him and held him like this and I said, “whoa, easy there Rahm. I’m not going to let you down until you stop cursing.”

    I mean, c’mon, what with the mouth on that guy?


  55. - WhyMe - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:11 am:

    Trust me, looking the part will land us the job. Best Buy is hiring.


  56. - siriusly - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:12 am:

    So after Perry called me Blago’s lapdog a second time I grabbed him and said “Listen up Rick, I’m nobody’s lap dog. Just look at how I stood up to the state legislature this year!”


  57. - Davey Boy Smithe - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:17 am:

    PQ: Get comfortable, I’ll be speaking incoherently for the next 45 minutes.


  58. - Jake From Elwood - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:18 am:

    The Chicago Combine always lurks in the distance.


  59. - siriusly - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:18 am:

    We’re this close to having almost the same outfit.


  60. - siriusly - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:21 am:

    Rahm said I should worry about downstate and leave Chicago alone.

    So what can you tell me about downstate Illinois?


  61. - Gordie Kool - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:22 am:

    So I tells them “If I begin to dress like a farmer, will you guys continue to vote for me?”


  62. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:31 am:

    That’s a big red machine. I had a big red machine once. It was a Radio Flyer. You could say I was on the wagon, not a hay wagon, but the kind of wagon that was made right here in Illinois, founded by an Italian immigrant. And immigration is what made Illinois great. The people, where they came from, where they are going and what they will do when they get there . . .


  63. - 1776 - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:34 am:

    So, I’m glad to be here today. I just wish that we could have had the tractor here for the press conference.


  64. - 1776 - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:35 am:

    ,,,and Bill Brady never recovered downstate once I gave myself the nickname Soy Boy….it allowed me to win a county or two downstate…


  65. - Lulabell - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:39 am:

    If we had big machines like that in Chicago maybe it would distract Rahm from all the casino stuff


  66. - 32nd Ward Roscoe Village - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:42 am:

    Agreed about Green Acres, wordslinger, and it has the great TV show intro ever (#2, the original Hawaii 5-0), but, in honor of PQ, I digress.


  67. - JBilla - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:49 am:

    DJ Farumba:

    All my robot farmers in the house put your shears up!

    You two in the blue, put your shears up!


  68. - Curious - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 9:59 am:

    I’m gonna take you for a ride on my big red tractor.

    A spin on Jason Aldean.


  69. - Voice of Experience - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 10:01 am:

    Good Lord…THAT’S what the awful smell is? I’m beginning to think they weren’t paying me a compliment when they called me “Soy Boy.”


  70. - Suburbs - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 10:06 am:

    What was I thinking letting the Governor talk me into dressing like him and walking with him in front of this huge Combine just so he can get in on another of Miller’s caption contests!


  71. - Fed upi - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 10:09 am:

    Rham just sent me a fish it was this big. See he ain’t a bad guy. I think it was a peace offering. There was a note about sleeping with the fishes. He knows I need to get more rest.


  72. - Fed Up - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 10:20 am:

    It has low milage and was only driven by a little old lady who harvested on her way to church.


  73. - anonymoose - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 10:31 am:

    I’m just a farm boy at heart. So that’s “Soy Boy” in the day time in Springpatch - but check me out at night at the Baton in Chi-town when I call myself “Honey Wagon.”


  74. - Lucky Penny - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 10:32 am:

    I tell you the Tomatos were this big! I don’t know where Madigan got that fertilizer but it sure is potent!


  75. - GMatts - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 10:36 am:

    Quinn: “So,’animal husbandry’ isn’t about marrying a goat or whatever…?


  76. - peepow - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 10:40 am:

    Yeah so Miller finds this bag of money in his garden and gives the cops a phony name when they show up

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/chi-man-reports-finding-150k-in-his-garden-20110831,0,6342735.story


  77. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 10:55 am:

    blah…blah…blah…


  78. - Highland, IL - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 11:06 am:

    You are right sir. I have plenty of room in my refrigerator for vegetables. I only use this much right now.


  79. - Bill White - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 11:06 am:

    Let me explain how to play the accordion.


  80. - Bill White - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 11:07 am:

    Version Two:

    I play a mean air accordion.


  81. - BigBob - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 11:19 am:

    Being Mr. Soybean is good, but being Mr. Combine would be great!


  82. - SAP - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 11:20 am:

    I’ll trade you a slightly used SoyBoy T-shirt for that shirt with the nice Illinois logo on it.


  83. - Rahm's Parking Meter - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 11:36 am:

    So have you heard of this place Portillo’s?


  84. - downstate hack - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 11:36 am:

    So, Corn flakes come from corn, and wheaties come from wheat, so does that mean fruit loops come from Florida?


  85. - Tim - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 11:38 am:

    Don’t get me wrong I am a corn guy, but we can’t turn Illinois into a corn state. We need to put the question to the good people of Illinois in the form of a referendum.


  86. - Exhausted - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 11:40 am:

    OK…The boys in blue shirts have beat the boys in the red shirts. We have captured their toys, now I am wondering if we have room to park the stuff on the lawn of the Governor Mansion? Just how big is this thing?


  87. - Warning Track Concessionaire - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 11:47 am:

    During his Farm Progress Show visit Gov. Quinn took time to explain to Rep. Holbrook the role farm equipment played in blindfold removal during his recent escape from Emanuel Security Forces.


  88. - dupage dan - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 11:53 am:

    “So, Hollbrook, we have one thing we can count on - remember, they can’t outsource the farmland to Indiana - it’s all staying RIGHT HERE!”


  89. - anon - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 12:09 pm:

    I’m telling you, the zucchini was huge.


  90. - conda - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 12:22 pm:

    In the picture, the combine only looked this big.


  91. - Ryan from Carrollton - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 12:35 pm:

    “Now I know the head on the combine is for taking out soybeans, but I remember when I was campaigning somebody told me that there used to be a conversion kit for blackberries on old Massey 510 grain heads. It had rubber paddles on it and the augur on the head was also rubber so the blackberries wouldn’t be smashed. The guy said that it was a life saver and he didn’t get scratched up by thorns as bad when they used it. Do any of these have that kind of option?


  92. - Warning Track Concessionaire - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 12:42 pm:

    “No way does that blindfold come off without farm equipment — Illinois farm equipment.”


  93. - Stones - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 12:56 pm:

    “Do you think they’ll notice that we are both dressed like Billy Mays?”


  94. - 3rd Generation Chicago Native - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 1:50 pm:

    And then I snuck up behind the Fox that was guarding the chicken house and grabbed him up around the neck…..


  95. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 1:50 pm:

    In a final attempt to convince the judges why he shouldn’t be disqualifed from the Downstate Triathlon for using a combine–instead of participating in the three separate events of reaping, thrashing, and winnowing, Quinn threatens to show one of the judges the framed photograph he has in his pocket of Emanuel in his pink cap at the Chicago Triathlon.

    Quinn was immediately declared the winner.


  96. - Segatari - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 2:25 pm:

    Quinn stalks someone wearing silk to tell a corny joke, but he didn’t want to lend his ear.


  97. - Always Smiling - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 2:47 pm:

    As the GOVERNOR, you need to make sure that you plant a crop of soy beans before corn. If only everyone would listen to me because I am the Governor … (later at the press conf.) As someone who grew up 119 miles away from a farm, farmers need to plan a crop of corn before soy beans.
    (reporter) But gov. I thought you said a crop of soy beans before corn. Are you changing your position
    (Gov) Listen - As the Governor, its my responsibility to …


  98. - JustaJoe - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 3:40 pm:

    “Is there anywhere here where somebody plays…uh…you know…a squeeze box?”


  99. - Todd - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 4:15 pm:

    You mean I have to use my hands to milk a cow?


  100. - Former Titan - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 4:24 pm:

    A visibly frustrated Farm Progress Show tour guide makes a silent vow never to enter a “Spend the Day with Governor Quinn” contest ever again. Ever.


  101. - Ghost of John Brown - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 4:29 pm:

    When I was a boy, I drove a tractor. Sitting on that tractor I dreamed of being an attorney to help people like the soldiers. Soldiers who should come home from Iraq and work here in the greatest state where they can buy homes and cars. I had a neat 57 Chevy years ago. The number 57, that’s one of the Fire units in Chicago. Boy, would I like some corn. We have great corn. I want to look into financial derivatives. We could tax transactions on derivatives to produce ethanol. I like scotch. Can you make scotch from ethanol? Hold it, when did that tractor get here?


  102. - What's in a name? - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 4:48 pm:

    Quinn: No, no no. It’s a light blue shirt and dark khaki pants that are slimming, Look.


  103. - x ace - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 5:04 pm:

    I grabbed it , threw against it against the wall, and hollered VETO.


  104. - Jack - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 5:49 pm:

    “You country boys with your square dancing are so out of it. Let me demostrate how us city fellars dance to ‘Mr. Roboto’”


  105. - Macoupin Observer - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:01 pm:

    and then I washed down my third pork chop on a stick with a Vose’s korndog and lemon shakeup!


  106. - In the Sticks - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 7:11 pm:

    You know, those ears of corn look this long, I could eat two or three ears of that wonderful sweet corn, especially if Rich Miller grilled it, but anyway, khakis and blue shirts are great for farmers to wear, or at least agriculture people, like me, because I am Soy Boy, those soybeans are wonderful, and the Land of Lincoln grows the greatest soybeans and corn, I talk about it all the time when I meet those city folks who don’t know anything about farming, boy I sure would like to ride one of those big tractors, or those harvesting things, those are huge machines, but you know they are made right here in Illinois, at least the green and yellow ones. Being in the country is just great - too bad there aren’t more voters here - if there were I could carry a few downstate counties in 2014, and ……….


  107. - CIRC - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 10:46 pm:

    I’m like this close to a final budget on the state fair next year…


  108. - Zoble21 - Wednesday, Aug 31, 11 @ 10:49 pm:

    Let me get this straight, these are tractors and they are used for what? How does this benifit me and Chicago?


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


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* 2 Illinois governor candidates spend $28M in last 3 months
* Statehouse bill would connect rural schools to high-speed internet
* 2 Illinois governor candidates spend $26M in last 3 months
* Education officials want to double state budget for schools
* University of Illinois trustee seat has been empty a year
* Rauner campaign: 'Governor believes David Duke is a racist'
* Our View: Dubious tariff endangers newspapers' future
* Byron York: Paul Manafort has a point
* EJ Dionne: Will Trump exhaust our democratic capacities?


* Catching up with...Ed Hightower
* District 118 considers adding fall break
* PHOTOS: Millikin University Women's Basketball Invited Special Olympics Teams For Skills Demonstration
* Clarification for Jan. 18
* SWIC board votes to eliminate childcare service at Belleville campus
* Boil order issued for 12 metro-east communities; 2 schools cancel
* Ex-gang member sentenced in 2015 shooting death of 14-year-old boy
* SIUC to host science conference themed around microscopic 'water bears'
* East St. Louis man gets prison time for sexually assaulting 12-year-old girl
* Schlarman girls pace locals in latest AP hoops rankings


* West Chicago teachers could hold strike vote in 'near future'
* Construction of new Willow Creek Huntley church could begin this spring
* Hardiman favors violence-prevention czar, gun restrictions, and no public funds for private schools
* Archaeologists in Mexico claim world's longest flooded cave
* Neymar scores 4 in PSG rout yet still leaves field unhappy

* Tioga State Bank president and CEO address...
* Teacher raised in Yorkville running agains...
* Kane County assessor: No guarantee your ta...
* Dissident artist Ai Weiwei and US Rep. Ran...
* Suburban Democrats line up to challenge Ro...
* Hultgren joins fellow lawmakers fighting t...
* 3 suburban GOP reps provide crucial votes ...
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* Our view: End patronage at Algonquin Towns...
* Subcommittee on Financial Institutions and...

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* Letter: Grateful for Dick Durbin's fortitu......
* On “The View,” Sen. Dick Durbin defends hi......

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* Some Democrats on Capitol Hill push for al......

* The [Wednesday] Papers
* Fix Illinois by breaking the state apart? A gubernatorial candidate makes the case.
* Bruce Rauner wants Quincy veterans' home to remain open after one-week stay, and other Chicago news
* Loy Webb shows us The Light
* Durbin says Trump's Haiti comments were "hate-filled, vile and racist"
* Di Leo: Setting the Record Straight on Israel
* Cabaret star Charles Busch relives his youth in My Kinda 60s
* Black Playwrights Festival At BET
* EXTRA: Ives a movement, or nobody?
* From the archive: The man who built a 33-foot-tall metal Madonna


* Illinois Awarded Funds to Offer Advanced Training on Detecting Impaired Driving
* Illinois EPA Announces Upcoming Household Hazardous Waste Collection Events
* IEMA Highlights Emergency Preparedness for People with Access and Functional Needs in May - Ready Illinois website offers preparedness tips for people, caregivers
* First Lady Launches Illinois Family Connects
* Governor and Lt. Governor Unveil 2016 Journal of Local Government Shared Service Best Practices

  
* YouTube’s new monetization policies are cracking down on smaller channels
* Apple to Lease New Office Building in Culver City
* ASUS joins Project Treble with ZenFone 4 Android Oreo update
* Twitter’s COO believes that streaming devices like Chromecast and Fire TV will disappear in 5 years
* Huawei gets internet excited over 5-minute charging tech from 2015
* HomePod shipments reportedly begin with up to 12 million set for this year
* Nomad’s new wireless charging hub is a traveler’s best friend

* With maturity comes lofty expectations for Eloy
* Pirates rebuild not met with enthusiasm
* Moncada guiding Robert during mini-camp
* White Sox announce player development staff
* Robert at ease during Sox hitters mini-camp
* Moncada guiding Robert during mini-camp
* White Sox announce player development staff


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