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Not the greatest subject matter for a guy with a birthday party hangover

Thursday, Mar 29, 2012

* Yuck

The Illinois House voted unanimously Wednesday to criminalize sexual conduct with a corpse.

House Bill 5122 also would make it a felony to move a dead body without authorization.

The bill’s chief sponsor, Rep. Daniel Beiser, D-Alton, said he had received complaints from prosecutors and county coroners in Madison County that some people have moved the bodies of people who had overdosed on drugs. That contaminates a crime scene, Beiser said.

Beiser said the section criminalizing sexual conduct with a corpse was added in response to a case in Madison County from the 1990s. Today, such a person can be charged only with criminal damage to property.

* Ugh

State laws don’t address the issue of sex with a corpse, and prosecutors have resorted to charging suspects with criminal damage to property.

“When you think of that, you think of someone going … breaking a mailbox or something similar,” Beiser said. “We obviously understand that isn’t adequate, that anybody who abuses or mishandles a deceased just demeans the meaning of that person’s life.”

If the measure becomes law, sex with a corpse would result in a Class 2 felony, with punishments ranging from probation to seven years in prison. Anyone caught moving a corpse would face a Class 4 felony, with penalties ranging from probation to three years in jail.

I just wanna go back to bed.

- Posted by Rich Miller        

  1. - How Ironic - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:39 am:

    So if one were to have particularly vigorous ‘relations’ with a corpse would they be charged with 2 counts?

    1 for the relations, and another for moving the corpse?

    Enjoy the hangover. I’m sure the party was worth it.

  2. - Dirty Red - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:43 am:

    I made fun of the person who said this bill was being taken up yesterday. “Come on, that’s already against the law,” I said.

    Actually I think it’s a compliment to our state that we didn’t think of outlawing the unthinkable. But still…

  3. - Oh Corpse - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:47 am:

    Interesting that necrophilia isn’t illegal. Guessing many states it is.

    As to the other law, that’s kinda ridiculous. You go into your kids bedroom, and he’s dead and you’re not supposed to touch him or move him? How do you figure out he’s dead? I know of one family member who held her husband, who had died, for awhile before the paramedics showed up.

    Unintended consequences.

  4. - wordslinger - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:53 am:

    –The Illinois House voted unanimously Wednesday to criminalize sexual conduct with a corpse.–

    Must have been some party, Rich. But I can’t help but asking: which party in the equation were you?

  5. - PublicServant - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:56 am:

    What if the death occured during sex? Or, a recipient simulated death by showing no emotion whatsoever during sex (err, a friend told me that sometimes occurs, yeah that’s it)?

  6. - Rich Miller - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:57 am:

    ===But I can’t help but asking: which party in the equation were you? ===

    This morning, I feel like the corpse.

  7. - soccermom - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:59 am:

    Next they’ll be telling me I can’t watch True Blood. (because folks in Bon Temps have sex with dead people ALL THE TIME.)

  8. - Shore - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 11:16 am:

    We ridicule some of the stranger sounding stuff, but this seems legit and I give Beiser credit for doing this. I am sure not a lot of people run for office saying I can’t wait to deal with stuff like this or really want to spend their time on it (probably doesn’t make the worlds greatest tv ad material), but it needs to be done and hopefully it helps these people that work on the issue.

  9. - BelleAire - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 11:18 am:

    Happy Birthday!!!

  10. - Anonymous - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 11:23 am:

    As sick as this sounds, I have a friend in the funeral home business who says that this happens. There are necrophiliacs who get into the industry in order to get access to victims. The whole thing makes me shudder in horror.

  11. - cermak_rd - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 11:33 am:

    I take it by move they mean move it to a different locale, not move it while checking to see if its dead, or touching it out of emotional response.

    I can understand why someone might want to move the body of a friend if they die of an overdose in one’s house and were getting the drugs from same. I doubt this law is going to change that behavior as the bad behavior comes from a sense of self-preservation.

  12. - JustaJoe - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 11:44 am:

    Upon reading this, I IMMEDIATELY thought of a great song by the New York Rock & Roll Ensemble……

  13. - lincoln's beard - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 1:25 pm:

    Not sure why this needs to be criminalized. It’s prima facie evidence of severe mental illness, not a criminal act deserving of punishment.

  14. - PublicServant - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 1:49 pm:

    It would be hilarious if Cullerton opposed this bill for some reason. The headlines would blare “Corpse Bill DOA in the Illinois Senate”.

  15. - Corpsy Clinton - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 1:50 pm:

    Whoa…this is LEGAL?!?

    So much lost time to make up for….

  16. - 47th Ward - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 1:54 pm:

    Would attaching a hostile amendment be considered screwing a corpse bill?

  17. - Bill - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 2:01 pm:

    From what I remember, right around 50 years old the ability to bounce back from debauchery began to greatly diminish. It sometimes takes days or even weeks to recover. You would think that at that advanced age maturity and, therefore, moderation would be the norm. But NOOOOOOO…

    Happy belated birthday.

  18. - East Sider - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 2:47 pm:

    Beiser is in a dogfight in his re-election bid, for the first time in his career. He’s doing everything he can to distract everyone from his tax hike vote. He’s been a press release machine in the local papers here for the past 3-4 months. Every time a letter to the editor appears, criticizing his vote to raise the income tax, we see a flurry of meaningless articles (generated from press releases from his office) over the following week.

  19. - Paul S. - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 3:41 pm:

    I agree, this is not a criminal act but an act of extreme mental illness that needs to be addressed. Putting someone into the criminal system will not help them at all but further cause mental degregation.

  20. - Boone Logan Square - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 3:55 pm:

    So do you remember what happened last night, Rich?

  21. - TCB - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 4:17 pm:

    But can I still rent “Weekend at Bernie’s” or will it be pulled from the shelves of movie stores across the state?

  22. - dupage dan - Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 4:46 pm:

    I wonder how many people are gonna cross this off their bucket list now that it’s gonna be illegal? More rampant crime we just didn’t know about. Who da thunk?

  23. - Jerry101 - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:00 am:

    Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain…

Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.

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