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Caption contest!
Thursday, Dec 19, 2013 - Posted by Rich Miller * Attendees of my City Club speech yesterday filled two very big boxes with toys for the kids in Lutheran Social Services of Illinois’ child-care program. It was so cool seeing all those folks walk into Maggiano’s carrying their toys. I thought we’d also try to raise a little cash money yesterday, so I stationed two LSSI staffers at the back of the room and told the crowd that we were going to pass the hat. A presentation had been given a few minutes before I spoke encouraging folks to participate in the Special Olympics’ Chicago Polar Plunge…
The spirit of charity got the better of my brain, because I pledged to take that polar plunge if attendees contributed at least $1,000. We raised over $2,000 in cash. Anne Dias-Griffin (yes, that Anne Dias-Griffin) wrote a $1,000 check, saying she wanted to make sure I took that plunge. Mrs. Griffin’s generous donation brought our total to over $3,000. I hope I survive. * The LSSI folks asked me to pose for a photo holding the bowl of cash and standing between the toy boxes…  Have fun, and thanks so much to everyone who attended and contributed. Many thanks to Paul Green and the City Club for inviting me and helping with the toy and cash drive. If you couldn’t be there, well, you can still donate to LSSI today by clicking here. Thanks!
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- RonOglesby - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 8:54 am:
Nice job everyone. Tis The Season!
- John A Logan - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 8:56 am:
Good job Rich. Just another example of how capitol fax stands apart from most political blogs. It’s not just another political news ticker, with lots of screaming in the comments section. It’s a community that impacts people lives for the better.
- MrJM - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:09 am:
And in his spare time, Santa Claus is the proprietor of Illinois premiere source for political news and inside info.
– MrJM
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:09 am:
Well done all, and Rich, you shold know, whatever you think the “market” will pay, add 25%!
“Caption?”
Air France made me.
We walked out with Money without using too much Snark. And we did the right thing. We gave Paulie Green his tribute.
We hope it will be a good Christmas for LSSI.
We’re all proud of you, Rich. This is a
lot of money for a kid like you.
Anybody asks you where you got it, you got it at the City Club playing Guest Speaker.”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:11 am:
“You wouldn’t believe it! Bruce Rauner’s Carhartt fell off the chair and all ‘this’ fell out of ONE pocket.”
- Norseman - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:13 am:
Good thing that you’re doing Rich! Now for the fun.
“Columnist Rich Miller seen soliciting donations for favorable consideration for a Golden Horseshoe Award.”
- Bluefish - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:16 am:
Boy what a sound. How I love hearing that old money clank. That beautiful sound of cold hard cash. That beautiful, beautiful sound, twenties, twenties, twenties. That beautiful sound of rustling twenties.
—with apologies to Charles Shultz
- OneMan - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:18 am:
It turned out raising money by getting money from people to put more layers on was a brilliant move by Rich.
- OneMan - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:19 am:
However the happy mood of CapFax commenters was quickly soured when it was discovered that 30% of the toys were donated Rauner The Pooh bears.
- Fan of Cap Fax - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:20 am:
You make Soft Coated Wheaton Terriers all over Illinois jump and run in circles with pride!
- wordslinger - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:21 am:
“I told you Santa is white!”
- And I Approved This Message - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:25 am:
In an attempt to keep his followers heads from exploding at the sight of him in a bathing suit, Rich Miller models the outfit he intends to wear to the March 2 Polar Plunge.
- Wensicia - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:26 am:
==The spirit of charity got the better of my brain, because I pledged to take that polar plunge if attendees contributed at least $1,000.==
A small sacrifice for a great cause!
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!!
- Dirty Red - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:30 am:
wordslinger ftw
- Cincinnatus - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:31 am:
Here’s the bowl of cash, the wheelbarrow’s out back…
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:33 am:
Paul Green: [seening the bowl of cash] What’s this?
RM: What’s what, Paul?
Green: Where’d you get this? Your table mates found by your seat.
Miller: It’s the donatins, Paul.
Lorenzo: $2000 dollars you’ve collected? What’d you do, become a Stand-up commedian overnight, Rich?
Guest: Tell Paul where you got the money!
Miller: I worked for it.
Green: Doin’ what?
Miller: Things.
Green: Things? Whadaya mean ‘things’? What things?
Miller: Things. Y’know, things.
Green: Don’t lie to me. Just tell the truth and I won’t get upset.
Miller: Promise?
Green: I’m your host today. Would I say it if I didn’t mean it?
Miller: I promised to take the Polar Plunge and everyone donated.
Guest: Polar Plunge?
Green: Polar Plunge? What Polar Plunge?
[Rich looks down at the bowl]
Green: What Polar Plunge? What donations?
[still no answer]
Green: WHAT POLAR PLUNGE?
Miller: I thought you weren’t gonna get upset, Paul.
Green: I lied! Now tell me everything!
Miller: I told you. I promised to take the Polar Plunge and Mrs. Griffin and the rest gave me donations.
Green: I knew it!
Guest: Didn’t we tell ya a thousand times not to go near the City Club?
- Rich Miller - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:34 am:
Leave the cannoli, take the gun.
- AFSCME Steward - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:42 am:
It’s f….ing golden
- AFSCME Steward - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:45 am:
Bruce Rauner contributing his pocket change
- walkinfool - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 9:53 am:
“Toy Boy”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 10:03 am:
“Please, Sir, can I have some… more?”
- zatoichi - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 10:12 am:
RM: Got it in focus?
Photog:Ah……….yeah.
- Quizzical - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 10:14 am:
Some effects of Mr. Scrooge’s epiphany were actually quite harmful. Scrooge was so ‘festive’ that he he began to share whiskey with little Tim and so Tim spent his mature years passing a hat amongst the city’s penurious political class.
- AFSCME Steward - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 10:15 am:
Rich Miller about to engage in his annual holiday tradition of eating a bowl of money soup.
- Murph - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 10:43 am:
I thought Maury got whacked in Goodfellas. Guess not
- Roadiepig - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 10:44 am:
Excellent results yesterday Rich but I have to ask- did Anne Griffin’s donation include a clause that requires you to wear a lead filled jacket for your plunge?
- Michelle Flaherty - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 10:49 am:
In other news, state financial officials announced Illinois was out of red ink. It all went to dye Miller’s sweater.
- RNUG - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 10:59 am:
Rich Miller demonstrates how to collect donations without ringing a bell!
- Wensicia - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 11:01 am:
Rich Miller as Monty Hall: Ready to play “Let’s Make a Deal”?
Will you choose. Box #1, Box #2 or the unspecified amount of cash in this bowl?
The cash?! Blagojevich, how did you get out of prison???
- 47th Ward - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 11:02 am:
===“I told you Santa is white!”===
With a hint of pink around the nose and cheeks.
- Old and in the Way - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 11:13 am:
Is it just me or is Rich beginning to look a lot like Santa Claus?
Merry Christmas Rich, you and Capitol Fax are a class act for sure!
- Commonsense in Illinois - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 11:15 am:
Cannoli?
- Rusty618 - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 11:16 am:
Who’s says no one from Illinois ever wins the Lottery?!
- Samurai - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 11:39 am:
Well done for LSSI and tornado victims.
There were cannolis
- Cincinnatus - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 11:43 am:
Subscribe.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 11:52 am:
There were Cannoli? I really missed out on so many levels.
Caption?
“You’re impressed with the bowl, you should see the shoebox I found”
- Anon. - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 11:54 am:
“With Grecian Formula, I can leave just the right amount of gray to make Mrs. Claus happy.”
- 32nd Ward Roscoe Village - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 12:07 pm:
I need to stopping eating my soup while reading these captions–my keyboard can’t take it. FTW: wordslinger, Oswego Willy, and And I Approve This Message!
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 12:13 pm:
“Look at this cash I raised! All I had to do was make sure I added in, marshmellow, end table, the Hulk, Dance Moms, 7-Iron, and swing set, and Farberware, in the first 10 minutes.
It almost made sense until I got to ‘end table’, that was the toughie.”
- Rich Miller Sr - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 12:36 pm:
As little kids our five sons always had the most fun at Christmas time with the empty boxes, but it is good to see that these boxes are not empty. Thanks for doing this Rich!
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 12:44 pm:
“Toys or Cash, or no lunch.”
- RNUG - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 1:19 pm:
Rich Miller doing public service and collecting donations to help the State fight Blago’s appeal.
- x ace - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 1:44 pm:
” Rauner Elected - Thousands of Panhandlers hit Mag Mile”
- Anon. - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 1:49 pm:
“OK, just another $5,000 in the pot, and I won’t introduce Rauner as our next speaker.”
- walkinfool - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 2:40 pm:
“Boy Toy”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 2:47 pm:
Although too big for either box, finally … finally, one of Santa’s “misfit toys” will have a home.
- A guy... - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 3:00 pm:
You may have given 3 other guys an idea for how to raise some much needed cash. If they join you, that’s gonna be one healthy splash! lol Nice job.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 3:05 pm:
“Now, ‘Hermey the Elf Dentist’ is the stuff off legend, Rich the Blogger Elf appears when needed most, and where he can do the most good.
Although close to the ‘Elf on the Shelf’ idea, pictured here is ‘Rich the Blogger Elf’, and usually he can be found at the Tavern very late, and then, he magically appears with a large laugh and a larger smile, as he does his good deeds for his fellow man.
In rare moments, his trusty pal Oscar melts the hearts first, to make it easier for ‘Rich the Blogger Elf’ to come into the hearts of his fellow Man. Resisting is futile, so don’t even try.
‘Rich the Blogger Elf’ can be summomed only by a few Magic ways; Live Music, and good food and drink. Magical devices, such as the ‘Eye-Phone’, or ‘Ray-Zor’, to name a few, can awake him, if your code is right and your information …”true”.
Unlike the ‘Elf on a Shelf’, ‘Rich the Blogger Elf’ stays all year round to watch and report. Some reports are like presents to the worthy, and some reports are like a lump of Coal.
That is why we should all treat every day like Christmas and the Holiday season, and be good to each other, and be good for each other.
And with a hearty laugh, and bowl full of Donations, ‘Rich the Blogger Elf’ leaves the City Club to go where he can be the most helpful next, maybe do another good deed, or maybe just to find another band and a drink … one of those I guess…
Well done all, and lookout for that Blogger Elf as he heads back to his retreat to start this all over again.”
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 4:48 pm:
Isn’t it
“Leave the toy, Take the Cannoli”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 4:58 pm:
Boy, I could go for a Cannoli about now.
Caption?
“What? You drop in the $5, and hang on to the $20? How about you take that $5 back and drop that $20 in, ok?”
- Just a Citizen - Thursday, Dec 19, 13 @ 6:48 pm:
Nice job Rich. The LSSI folks have found their own Santa Claus….a jolly, little fella with a big belly and a twinkle in his eye. He knows which of the Pols have been naughty or nice and publishes the list in his daily blog. A dog named Oscar pulls Santa’s sleigh full of toys for all the good little boys and girls. And you can hear him exclaim as he drives out of sight,” Merry Christmas to all and to all the gift of sight!”