* Neil Steinberg returned from vacation to find an early December note from the late Judy Baar Topinka. It was a kind note, filled with praise for one of his columns. Steinberg, like just about all of us in the media, received these little notes from JBT on a regular basis…

For the record, it wasn’t a particularly good column, never mind wonderful. But if you were puzzled by the outpouring of general sadness at the passing of Judy Baar last month, I think that note explains a lot, and perhaps gives us all a few tips about living our own lives in the coming year.

What does it show?

1. Make an effort. Judy put herself out. She went to the trouble. There is no part of the comptroller’s job that involves greasing reporters’ massive egos and, indeed, her note wasn’t done with the idea of a quid pro quo, of tilling the soil for good coverage. Her kindness would curdle if it were followed up by her rattling the cup for publicity. But she didn’t. She was just being nice.

2. Be nice. When people have a complaint, you sure hear from them. And sometimes I want to say, “You’ve never said a word, for years, about ever liking anything, and now something bothers you and I’m supposed to listen to you grouse?” Being nice is planting the seeds that flower later. I guarantee you, had Judy Baar been irked by something, I’d have snapped to attention, because that wasn’t her way.

3. Be interested. My column started by talking about books and ended by talking about Kardashian’s butt. Judy moved the focus into the age of Elizabeth I. There’s something refreshing about that. The range of interesting things is boundless, unless we blinder ourselves. Look around.

There are more conclusions I could draw, but that’s enough.

One of the things I said about Topinka during her memorial service is that we should all think about the attribute we most admired about JBT and then emulate it. We’ll never have another Judy Baar on this planet. They most definitely broke the mold. But we can sorta keep her alive by individually adopting some of her best attributes as our own.

* And that brings me to my own “beyond the grave” story. Shortly after JBT died, her top staff members began clearing out their offices, figuring they’d all be out of jobs within days.

One of those staffers found a gift for me from Topinka stuck in the back of a desk drawer that she’d forgotten to give me. It had been in that desk drawer for close to four years. She presented me with the gift after Topinka’s memorial service. It was the closest I came to crying since Topinka had died.

The gift was a couple of tschotskes that Judy had probably picked up at a yard sale: the “Miller Family Crest”…

* If they had been given to me right away as ordered, I probably would’ve chuckled, rolled my eyes and tossed them into my big pile of political stuff that my descendants will have to sort through after I’m gone.

But now, they’ll take up a prominent place in my office. I plan to have them both framed, with one going to my daughter, who has known Judy since she was a small child.

* So, again, think about the attribute you admired most about JBT, then try your best to emulate it. We’d be a much better place if we all did so.