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More lip service

Tuesday, Nov 24, 2015

* Gov. Rauner was at a Red Cross telethon today. From the twitters…


- Posted by Rich Miller        

  1. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:46 am:

    “Sandack?! I’m suppose to be dialing out. Stop calling me at this number.”

  2. - Keyrock - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:47 am:

    Watch how I look, not what I say or do.

  3. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:47 am:

    “Yes, Ms. Sanguinetti signed the waiver. What happened?”

  4. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:49 am:

    “Ken?! The pass code for the New York penthouse was changed, buddy, that was a one-time treat… “

  5. - walker - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:50 am:

    “Where exactly are you from?”

    (sorry, a good thing he showed up at the IRC)

  6. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:50 am:

    “Yeah, but this time, do you have Carhartts a lil more worn, like less, I dunno, less ‘new looking’ I guess… “

  7. - Henry Francis - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:52 am:

    Campaignin is easy!

  8. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:52 am:

    “Oh don’t worry, I got ‘ck’, she’ll just use the Rauner Word Jumble and get you that press release before deadline… you’re welcome… “

  9. - Dome Gnome - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:54 am:

    “No, Jindal, you can’t relocate here. We’re not accepting refugees.”

  10. - 360 Degree TurnAround - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:54 am:

    Did anyone give to him? I’d ask for a different operator.

  11. - Give Me A Break - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:55 am:

    I”m sorry, I was trying to reach the AFSCME help line.

  12. - Almost the Weekend - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:55 am:

    Closing time… You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay (Illinois) here.

  13. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:55 am:

    “Rod?! Don’t waste your call on me… I know it was golden… all the tapes… yep, the Supreme Court… No, I do like your Caucus plan… I’m using that plan right now… Yep, successful, very successful… Oops, gotta go… “

  14. - Cubs in '16 - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:55 am:

    To all of the naysayers who doubt his compassion…

  15. - wordslinger - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:56 am:

    “I just did what the RGA told me to do….”

  16. - Anon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:57 am:

    Yes I’ll give a donation but remember NIMBY

  17. - Juice - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:58 am:

    “When I gave money to the Red Cross, they put my name on their building just off the Eisenhower. So you never know what you might get. Could be a building named after you, could be a mug. Also, while I’ve got you, care to buy any lottery tickets?”

  18. - Robert the Bruce - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 10:59 am:

    “And would you like us to wait to process your credit card donation until Syria passes structural reform?”

  19. - wordslinger - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:00 am:

    “Chutzpah? No, I’m not familiar with that word. Is it Syrian?”

  20. - wordslinger - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:00 am:

    “That orphan was looking at me funny…”

  21. - Dave Dahl - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:01 am:


  22. - 47th Ward - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:02 am:

    No, it’s not a shut down. It’s just a temporary pause. Honest.

  23. - Colin O'Scopey - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:02 am:

    “The executioner fields calls at the ‘Telethon to End the Death Penalty’.”

  24. - Abe the Babe - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:02 am:

    Rauner: Look, I’d like to let you in but Mike Madigan and the politicians he controls are forcing me to pull short-sided political stunts. Why don’t you try California? I hear its lovely there.

  25. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:03 am:

    “Seriously?… I know it’s your Don… Don, I hear you hooting… “

  26. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:07 am:

    “No a full-page Ad… Yeah… with the logo… just say sumptin’ like… hang in there, we’ll pay your lottery winnin’s real soon… and, uh… keep playin’… Well, try and blame Madigan… do I have to think of everything… Oh!… and make it 4-color…”

  27. - Austin Blvd - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:08 am:

    “Yes, they let me in here. Have a nice day. And hang in there.”

  28. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:10 am:

    “No… No, I got plenty of time, plenty… Yeah, I’m pretendin’ to make fundraisin’ calls, but I’ll just write a check or something… Yeah… So, tough goin’ back to Wisconsin?… Yeah, me and Diana thought you’d win too… “

  29. - wordslinger - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:10 am:

    “No, that’s a different Surrender Caucus…”

  30. - paddyrollingstone - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:12 am:

    You are only coming through in waves.
    Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying

  31. - Wensicia - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:13 am:

    “Ken? No, I don’t need your vote on banning all Syrians. You can put up a few Keep Out signs along our border if you want to help out.”

  32. - Midstate Indy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:14 am:

    BVR relegated to phones after being informed the heartless can’t donate blood.

  33. - illini - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:14 am:

    “I have to go through the motions to try to convince the people that I really care. It was a good photo opportunity that I could not pass up, and believe me I am not pandering”

  34. - Rich Miller - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:15 am:

    Hello, Pentagon?

    I’d like to call in an air strike for 6500 S. Pulaski.

    Yes, that’s in Chicago.

    OK, I’ll hold.

  35. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:17 am:

    “…and 4 large Strawberry shakes… “

  36. - Mouthy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:23 am:

    “Just called to congratulate you on your election victory Mr. Speaker”..

  37. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:24 am:

    “Like I told the person before you… Evelyn can’t sue you… No… No… Yes, the waiver… That’s why she has to sign them, sir… Don’t listen… don’t listen… sir, don’t listen to that, she can’t… Evelyn knows what the waivers are for… No, she knows… sir… Evelyn carries that neck brace everywhere… no… no… yes… 8… yep 8… I know… well, I’ll tell her when I see her… No, I won’t say that… No… no that either… Oh… oh… Evelyn said that… and that… well… I know, kids… Well, I have to go… Yes… Take her to her car… Ok… thanks again… you hang in there too… Ok… Yep… Ok, bye.”

  38. - Bogey Golfer - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:29 am:

    “And this weekend I’ll be working the Channel 11 pledge drive.”

  39. - Deep South - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:33 am:

    Uh…hey, is that you Santa?

    Yeah, well look, this is Bruce down in Illinois. Listen, I’d really like a budget…one that goes with my Turnaround..

    Uh, no, not a turned around budget…no it has to be balanced.

    Yeah, I’ve been good…no, you’re probably thinking of Goldberg…or maybe ck.

    Madigan?…yeah, he’s not been very nice either.

    Really, a budget…yeah, that’s what I want…a nice one…not cut-rate.

    Yeah, I promise to be extra good.

    Thanks Santa…I’ll be sure to leave out some cookies.

  40. - Beaner - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:34 am:

    Rauner: What!? We don’t need no stinkin budget. I just do not believe in a piecemeal approach to an unbalanced budget.
    Now do you want to make a donation or not?

  41. - 47th Ward - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:36 am:

    Uh huh…uh huh…well, how hot is your oven? How long did you say it’s been roasting? Uh huh…OK…try basting it. Yes, be sure to keep it moist…really? You don’t like the word “moist?” OK…I did’t know that…thanks for the tip…and now just wait for that little doo-hickey to pop up and your bird will be ready…yeah, about 20 minutes per pound…uh huh…right…how big is your turkey? Well OK then, good luck. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Bu-bye now.

  42. - Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:37 am:

    “Well, I guess the origin of Rauner is German. Well, yeah, then I guess that means my family immigrated here at some point. After WW I? I don’t know. Well, I suppose they COULD have been refugees. Hey, I gotta go now. Buh-bye!”

  43. - Chicago Cynic - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:38 am:

    “Yes ma’am, I’ve heard the word hypocrisy. Yes, ma’am I know what it means. No, I’m not helping the Red Cross settle Syrian refugees in Illinois. We’re sending them to Iowa. No? I mean Indiana. No? I mean Michigan. Ma’am, I’m sorry, we seem to have a bad connection. I’m going through a tunnel. Shhhkkeshhshhkkks. Click.”

  44. - Robert the Bruce - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:38 am:

    “And will this donation be on your government or your personal credit card today, Mr. Rubio?”

  45. - Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:39 am:

    “Hello, is this the Madigan residence? You got Prince Albert in a can?”

  46. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:40 am:

    “Ken, what you and I and Uihlein need to do, the three of us, is just have a guys weekend and just sit back and laugh… That would really raise my spirits…”

  47. - 47th Ward - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:40 am:

    “Hello, Butterball Help Line, this is Bruce. How can I help you?”

  48. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:41 am:

    “Corey… Corey… you got an appointment, I show up over there, I can’t help you get people in your church… “

  49. - Dinsdale - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:41 am:

    867-5309? No I dialed BR-549.

  50. - Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:45 am:

    “No, Donald, the comb over works for you, but I just don’t think it would work for me. What? Start wearing a ballcap that says, ‘Make Illinois WORK Again’? Uh, that could be a little dicey right now.”

  51. - phocion - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:45 am:

    “Yes, I heard some guy on the Capitol Fax blog has a bizarre obsession with me. No, I’m not worried. I generally avoid Oswego.”

  52. - Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:48 am:

    “Look, I know it’s got 500,000 miles on it, but do you think new brakes are really necessary? I mean, they seem all right to me.”

  53. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:49 am:

    “Donna… Donna… Listen… Ms. Arduin… I know you’re upset with me… I know… I know but ‘Hang In There’ fell like a lead balloon… No… No… No, I can’t hire you back…”

  54. - Annon3 - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:49 am:

    I think Mary Dixon nailed with her caption.

  55. - Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:55 am:

    “Ken, calling me on this line, collect from Bermuda, is probably not a good idea.”

  56. - Anonin' - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:56 am:

    Hey Griffey …..listen send the Citadel Jet up to Waukegan…the media is lookin’ for us at Palwaukee so we can fool em ….then we adios this place for a few days… bringin’ the new squeeze …yikes

  57. - Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:58 am:

    “Yeah, Luca? I want you to sneak into Madigan’s bedroom tomorrow night and slip a bottle of applesauce into his bed.”

  58. - How Ironic - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:59 am:

    No, I wouldn’t have any idea what wine would be good with the bird, if it were to cost under $10. Do they even make such a thing?

  59. - How Ironic - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:01 pm:

    Yes, the beauty of this fund drive is that for every $1 we raise today, I’ll cut $2 out of the relief budget tomorrow!

  60. - Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:02 pm:

    “I’m sure your poll numbers will pick up any day now, Lindsey. Yeah. You hang in there too.”

  61. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:02 pm:

    “Linda? Bruce… Hey… I guess there’s a holiday parade of some sort in Chicago, so I need ya to do one of those Lingle Parade thingys you do… Yeah, just get some people for a float… Yeah… send an email… “

  62. - Bogey Golfer - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:03 pm:

    “Hello, Draftking? This is ‘da Guv’. Hey I want Alshon Jeffery on my team for Thursday. Never mind why - I own you!”

  63. - Anonymous - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:04 pm:

    Hello 911 can you hold?

  64. - How Ironic - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:04 pm:

    CK! Listen up….I’ve hit a gold mine here. Yeah, it looks like I can totally gut social services, but then answer phones for a couple of hours and call it even. Get me a couple of frozen cornish game hens too, I’ve got to send something to Rham to keep him on his toes.

  65. - @MisterJayEm - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:05 pm:

    Raising revenue to fund services for those in need?

    Imagine that!

    – MrJM

  66. - VanillaMan - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:09 pm:

    Call Me - Blondie, enhanced by VanillaMan

    Color me in power, baby
    Color me superstar
    Color me your supporter, darling
    I know who you are
    My polls show I’m off the chart
    It don’t matter that I have no heart

    Call me (call me) on the line
    Call me, leader of the Combine
    Call me (call me) anytime today
    You can call me I know what to pay
    Call me

    Cover me with kisses, Dunkin
    Shower me in bipartisan love
    I’ll pretend to be a country bumpkin
    I’ll never own enough
    Turnaround fails, I don’t know why
    Madigan is my alibi

    Call me (call me) on the line
    Call me, I love wasting everyone’s time
    Call me (call me) the Office’s mine
    When you’re ready we can share my wine
    Call me

    Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I speak and pander
    Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, with paid media slander
    Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, telling you with candor
    Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, any way
    Anytime, anyplace,…

  67. - VanillaMan - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:11 pm:

    Miss Cleo?
    How does my political fortune look today?

  68. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:17 pm:

    “Blue Horseshoe loves Draft Kings and Fan Duel. Got it?”

  69. - @MisterJayEm - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:18 pm:

    “Hello? Kristen? Yes. Yes, I am at the Red Cross telethon. Uh huh, that Red Cross… Yes, the one that provides relief services after disasters. Uh huh… You want me to ask them a question? Okay… You want me to ask them what? You want me to ask if the Red Cross has any extra photographs of New Orleans after Katrina? For your ‘vision board’? I’ll — I’ll see what I can do, Kristen.”

    – MrJM

  70. - Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:45 pm:

    “Listen, Rich, your caption contests are killin’ me. I’m startin’ to feel like Dangerfield here. No respect. No respect at all.”

  71. - wordslinger - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:46 pm:

    MrJM gets my vote.

  72. - A guy - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:51 pm:

    Seems like every phone in this room has my number on speed dial. Everyone on commission here?

  73. - Cubs in '16 - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 12:54 pm:

    “Hello, Gov. Bruce Rauner here. I put the ‘host’ in hostage taking. he he Oh, hello dear…”

  74. - Anonymous - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 1:14 pm:

    Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 11:58 am:

    “Yeah, Luca? I want you to sneak into Madigan’s bedroom tomorrow night and slip a bottle of applesauce into his bed.”


  75. - illinoised - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 1:15 pm:

    “Yes ma’am, the turnaround agenda really does pertain to Syrian refugees. If the Democrats would have sent me a balanced budget, we would not have to be telling the refugees to turn around.”

  76. - Sid Farkus - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 1:24 pm:

    “Oh hello Mr. Vandelay, would you like to buy a computer? Oh really, two dozen?”

    …ding ding ding

  77. - Gman - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 1:32 pm:

    Thanks for calling. How may I help you? No I am sorry. All those seats are filled. Bye

  78. - Huh? - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 1:45 pm:

    Diana, I told you not to call when I am at these faux events. I have to pander to the crowd and make them think that I really care about the little people. I will see you tonight. I know it is two faced, but I have to keep up appearances. I know it looks phony, but everybody is telling me to hang in there and keep doing what I am doing. Yes dear, I will see you tonight.

  79. - Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 2:26 pm:

    “Beetle Bomb in the fifth? I think you have the wrong number, sir.”

  80. - Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 2:31 pm:

    “Corky’s Barbecue? Gimme a full slab of ribs with the extra spicy sauce. And two…yeah, two… strawberry milk shakes.”

  81. - Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 2:33 pm:

    “No, ma’am, I’m just volunteering. This telethon is for the Red Cross, not the State of Illinois…although that DOES give me an idea for an end run.”

  82. - Man with a plan - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 2:46 pm:

    Hey, Sandack, if you have some time this weekend, come on down to the yacht club.

  83. - burbanite - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 3:00 pm:

    Chicago cares. Chicago once again trying to tell us what to do. Care? The nerve!

  84. - internal angel - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 3:01 pm:

    None of the gulf states are accepting them because of fear of syrian reprisals (meaning terrorism) and no return dates. In those countries you dont get to live there without a work vusa, when the work is done you go home. You dont assimulate there. In the USA we expect people to
    assimulate and speak english. The gulf states are majority the sme religion as the majority of the refugees.

  85. - @MisterJayEm - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 3:10 pm:

    internal angel,

    You’ve posted to the wrong thread.

    You’re looking for the “talking-points salad” post.

    – MrJM

  86. - Anonymous - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 3:14 pm:

    What red cross is not republican,so blue cross is not democratic?

  87. - Huh? - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 4:05 pm:

    That is the 10th call today that the person said they won’t give any money to the Red Cross until the turnaround agenda is passed.

  88. - 47th Ward - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 4:11 pm:

    ===In the USA we expect people to assimulate and speak english===

    But not necessarily write it. Thanks for the laugh IA.

  89. - Anonymous - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 4:25 pm:

    Hey Goldberg this the wrong bank,not the phone bank they don’t do loans

  90. - Huh? - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 4:28 pm:

    No Ken, you have to give me money through the super pac. The super pac Ken. I can’t take any money from you directly. No Ken, washing the money through the Red Cross isn’t the way to go. It would like funny if the Red Cross was donating money to my campaign. Ken, I told you through the super pac that we set up to hide all the money you are donating.

  91. - Huh? - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 4:30 pm:

    That is the 5th call asking if Hugh Jass was manning the phone bank.

  92. - Any Mouse - Tuesday, Nov 24, 15 @ 6:07 pm:

    Disaster Relief? No, this is a Disaster. Disaster Relief is on indefinite leave. Maybe sometime next year.

  93. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Nov 25, 15 @ 5:07 am:

    Sorry this is not CBS Chicago bears disaster relief

  94. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Nov 25, 15 @ 8:08 am:

    Hello this is not Pat Quinn

Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.

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