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Caption contest!

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

* Back in 2014, it seemed like everybody was posting videos doing an “ice bucket challenge.” You’ll recall it was a big fad back then and it raised a ton of money for the ALS Association. Candidate Bruce Rauner posted a video featuring three helpers dumping ice water on his head. Gov. Pat Quinn did a video as well.

JB Pritzker’s ice bucket challenge video is no longer online. A reporter pal brought up the subject last night. He said he saw the video back in the day, but he can’t find it now. So, I reached out to a trusted opposition researcher last night. He told me he’d also heard about it, but, sadly, has come up empty time and time again. I asked the Pritzker campaign what happened to the video this morning and am still awaiting a reply.

* Pritzker is dressed as the Dr. Evil character from the “Austin Powers” movies in his video, stroking a toy cat and wearing one of those bald wigs. The reporter who watched the video says Pritzker talked in a Dr. Evil accent while cheesy, 70s style sound effects played in the background. From a story done at the time by Shia Kapos

He appears in his video, above, dressed as Dr. Evil, the fictional character played by actor Mike Myers in the “Austin Powers” films — bald head, tipped pinky and all.

Seated in a chair “deep below the Merchandise Mart,” he says he was nominated “by the techno geeks at 1871.”

“Little do they know, I’ll be turning the tables on them with ‘operation ice bucket,’” he says with a sinister laugh. “I’ll pour one million bajillion gallons of water over Chicago!”

The buckets drop with the help of two assistants, and a drenched Mr. Pritzker then peels off his mask to say he’s giving $26,000 to the ALS Association — $100 for each of the 260 companies in 1871. He also challenged his “evil brother” Tony Pritzker, Graff CEO Henri Barguirdjian and professional poker player Phil Hellmuth.

Man, somebody really needs to find this thing.

* A person who hates the Pritzker family posted a screen capture, which is all we have to work with. Click the pic for a larger image

- Posted by Rich Miller        

39 Comments
  1. - OneMan - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:23 pm:

    Democratic political operatives are reassured that their candidate will be more than happy to over to it well…


  2. - OneMan - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:27 pm:

    Over do it… not over to it…


  3. - Rich Miller - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:28 pm:

    Rich people are weird.


  4. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:28 pm:

    “You’ll delete these later, right?”

    “All the Hilton pools from now on need sharks with lazers strapped to their backs”

    “I’m worth 3 million… (Clears throat)… I’m worth 3 billion dollars”

    Jason Plummer only played President…

    The Pritzker secret lair is 7 stories below an undisclosed Arby’s

    Meh, you should see Pritzker as Austin Powers, that’s a caricature

    Pritzker, missing the mark on the whole “run for governor, wear a costume” bit. They’re working on it


  5. - Cubs in '16 - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:31 pm:

    Runner up in the JB campaign poster contest with slogan to ‘Think Evil’.


  6. - Perrid - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:32 pm:

    I get why he might not want it circulating right now, but it sounds hilarious. Caption: “Little did Dr. Evil know the TRUE challenge would come from his enraged, soaked cat…HAHAHA.” Best I got


  7. - Curl of the Burl - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:33 pm:

    “To run for Governor it will cost me…$1 million dollars!”


  8. - Curl of the Burl - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:33 pm:

    “I will call it…the Alan-Parsons Project.”


  9. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:34 pm:

    Yes, Mr. Bigglesworth or no, Mr. Bigglesworth?

    Whadda mean Beyoncé isn’t available. Fine, call Liz Hurley

    Scott!!!!!!!


  10. - AC - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:39 pm:

    Does Chris Kennedy play Austin Powers in this video?


  11. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:40 pm:

    Fine, Rauner gets the Village People, I’ll just use Austin Powers…

    That lovely Pritzker hair is a wig. Who new?

    No stuffed cats were hurt in the filming of this spoof

    Sometimes just donating the money is worth it in the long run

    No, some guy from Chicago wanted to rent the set, costumes, the film equipment, editing room and post production office space… He’s bored I guess, I dunno

    There are easier ways to get into USC Film School

    Ron Howard is available for movie shorts and ALS bucket challenges I guess

    (Not pictured: Robert Wagner cashing his check as quickly as possible)


  12. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:45 pm:

    @FakeJasonPlummer - man, it’s great to have family wealth, ain’t it? #CostumesAndPonies

    @FakeJasonPlummer - My Thundercats birthday party was better, it was turning 25 that was rough #Kidding

    @FakeJasonPlummer - when I played President I saved the world from Dr. Evil. That’s how I got ice cream #Imaginating


  13. - AC - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:46 pm:

    It seemed like a good idea at the time


  14. - Grandson of Man - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:46 pm:

    “When I wear a costume, it’s really a costume.”


  15. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:49 pm:

    And thsts how Pritzker got his SAG Card

    No, really, you’ll delete this, right?

    If I sit, the costume looks better, actually

    Get the stunt pinky ring ready…

    It was either rent all this, costumes and all, or ruin a $8,000 suit as James Bond…

    Man, Mike Myers really let himself go…


  16. - Almost the Weekend - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:52 pm:

    We’re not in Kansas anymore


  17. - Dirty Red - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:54 pm:

    I’m fairly confident I have seen that set and the assistants’ outfits in a video that also had low production value. That I have seen it would probably show up in MY oppo file.


  18. - Responsa - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:56 pm:

    How chintzy! They couldn’t even come up with a real cat to make it more, uh, realistic??


  19. - A guy - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:58 pm:

    Not Groooooovy Baby.


  20. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 1:58 pm:

    Fellas! I spend $13,000 on this, costumes, sets, you guys!… and we have $2 orange buckets for the payoff? Who am I not paying?

    if this doesn’t win one of those YouTube awards…

    Get George Lucas in the phone, we need special effects…

    No, that’s my sister, she’s the one in the Obama Cabinet

    Let’s see Nicky and Paris top this…


  21. - Amalia - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 2:00 pm:

    The Pritzkers are so 90s


  22. - Rich Miller - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 2:03 pm:

    I hope they remembered to fill those buckets with Dom Perignon.


  23. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 2:05 pm:

    “Yes, yes I worked for Bruce… the stuffed dog… that’s right, the hunting pictures… Thank you, I thought I did really well with that to… Ok, Mr. Pritzker… Oh… Ok, ‘JB’… Oh, sorry ‘Dr. Evil’… Ok, let’s put the stuffed cat ON the desk… Well, so people can see it… No, you sitting there works… well, those pants don’t go with the costume for one… I know, they told me… well I wish you well on that diet… so, sit, then we won’t see the mismatched pants… the cat… have it look right… no, my right… I can’t see the face… ‘I can’t see the face, Dr. Evil’… Yes, it’s fun to say, can you have the cat face me… Yes you are paying… Great, you place the cat… “


  24. - Montrose - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 2:10 pm:

    I remember seeing it at the time. My thoughts were

    “This is cute. He’s having fun. He is trying to do something different. He is make a real donation.”

    and

    “He should have gone the Patrick Stewart route and just drank scotch on the rocks and given all the production money to the ALS.”


  25. - 37B - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 2:18 pm:

    One rich guy pretending he’s evil.
    One rich guy pretending he’s not.


  26. - Ward Heeler - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 2:19 pm:

    The video must have been shot in the uninhabitable building next door to the Pritzker manse. Judging from the barren interior, the reduced property tax assessment was well justified.


  27. - ZC - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 2:19 pm:

    I actually think that’s hilarious.

    Rich people are weird, but rich people who can laugh at themselves make me feel slightly better.

    Maybe he’s funny and projects warmth in private but I’ve yet to pick up any strong sense of humor in public from Governor Rauner.


  28. - Grandson of Man - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 2:28 pm:

    “Had to use the fake cat because the real one was grabbed by the host of ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’”


  29. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 2:29 pm:

    We thought about that, but a Wayne’s World set was tough to find…


  30. - Anon0091 - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 2:32 pm:

    Hey, at least the guy doesn’t take himself too seriously. I remember the video. It was cute.


  31. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 3:10 pm:

    … then we’ll cut to the ‘Stunt JB’, shoot it from behind, ice water, and we’ll edit it with you drying off, JB…


  32. - VanillaMan - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 3:16 pm:

    “There’s nothing more pathetic than an aging hipster.”


  33. - Anonymous - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 3:18 pm:

    “Frau Farbissima, call Bruce Rauner.”
    “DA-BROOOSE WROUNAH!”


  34. - don the legend - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 3:22 pm:

    “Hey Superstars, this is how you do a costume!’


  35. - Hit Em With the Hein - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 3:41 pm:

    Oh this is candy, I’m having fun!!!


  36. - amalia - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 3:48 pm:

    “I’m still searching for mini me”


  37. - A guy - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 4:23 pm:

    Are my co-stars causing me to look a little chubby? Should we go with dudes instead?


  38. - W Flag - Tuesday, May 16, 17 @ 5:00 pm:

    Leslie Munger looks fabulous in her futuristic clothing!


  39. - TKMH - Wednesday, May 17, 17 @ 2:24 am:

    I’m reminded of the RCCC going after Jon Ossoff for playing Han Solo in a video when he was in college. That flopped then, and this type of stuff will (hopefully) flop now. In the age of Anthony Weiner, Pritzker playing dress-up is a huge nothingburger.

    People honestly need to lighten up, God forbid we have self-deprecating candidates for public office.


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


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