“I am going to fight for the people of Illinois, to do the people’s business, to get beyond the bickering and the partisanship of Springfield. Hey, Dennis. You want the Prairie Parkway? Pull my thumb.”
“I would like to thank my good friend Speaker Hastert for the funding for the nice comfy fed pens.
[Pause]
Not that I might be a defendant or anything. That was just stuff my lawyers put in that response.
[Pause]
Go Cubs! How about that Fukodome? Reminds me of a kid named Banks. Did I ever tell you about the game when Banks hit one out? Let me tell you . . .”
So I told all those drug addicts and their kids “you’re outta here!” “But look on the bright side, we’ve got more money to educate you homeless, motherless kiddies!”
“And one day I was hitch-hiking and a car pulls up and a little black girl says ‘Hey look, it’s Mayor Daley!’ I told to lock herself inside the house because crime is so out of control, which will be cured if we pass my jobs bill.”
- Speaking At Will - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:31 pm:
Wudda you mean you dont remember the secret handshake? A little shake, a little bake, no, it’t not coming to ya? ….ahh Dennis you gotta learn to live a little…
Remember some months back when “The [wrestling] Coach” almost resigned his honorary post of publicly pitching the capital plan with the Governor? That all changed after losing a fateful [thumb] wrestling match…I guess Poshard won his.
Now that first scar is from when my father inlaw bit me. And you see that one at the bottom, that fresh one, that was Madigan. I just don’t know why people get so mad at me… okay everyone, special session, get to work, I’ll be at the Cubs game.
- Got my mojo workin' - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:44 pm:
“See the bald guy back there? He’s the one I used to make carry the hairbrush. Irony!”
See, I can pretend its a microphone and I’m the reporter asking all those mean and stupid questions. Or I can pretend its a hairbrush. And I’ve been practicing my best Bill Clinton impression so I can sincerely deny that I’m a potential defendant.
- One of Three Puppets - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:52 pm:
“Ok….I want a big beef, lotsa peppers. Hoffman wants a meatball sandwich, Poshard an Italian sausage….get dogs for the rest of them. And grab something for yourself, too Denny. Get the cash from K-Fan.”
“It hurts Denny… will you kiss it and make it all better? In fact, can you make it all better?
I just don’t understand why everyone is picking on me…”
- Don't Worry, Be Happy - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:44 pm:
“Look, a capital budget is good for everyone who gets involved. The Speaker here is going to make millions off of the Prairie Parkway. I’m telling ya, get on board now and I’ll cut you in too for a piece of the action.”
- Six Degrees of Separation - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:46 pm:
Juice 1:45
Your caption is not possible. The governor has never been to a state park.
“When no one believes you, just dance.
Come on guys, try it - I think you’ll like it.
Remember the Hand Jive everyone? Come on, join in any time.
It’s a great way to distract everyone who asks about indictment, impeachment, churches, drug treatment. It’s what you do when people think you’re full of sh**t, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE. Come ON Denny - show ‘em what you got”
The Governor’s inexplicible temporary loss of depth perception results in his awkward attempt to passionately embrace former Speaker Hastert in thanks for his support on the capital bill.
“No matter what people might say, I can honestly say that I have never…I repeat NEVER…been caught pointing a finger at anyone in the GOP for the problems we’re having in this State.”
“So, once again, the legislative leaders we are counting on to stick with us on our capital bill fight are President Jones, that’s one, and………President Jones - oh, I already said him……Denny, help me out here…”
Hey Denny, you believe me, right? Am I right or am I right? Right? You know how hard it is, right? Bein’ a leader and all, right? It’s hard! Tell ‘em Denny!
- IDOT'er - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 11:55 am:
Illinois Jerks.
- Dirtybird - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 11:59 am:
Hey Dennis, look here, this is the thumb House Speaker Madigan told me I could stick up my….
- Deleted Daily - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:03 pm:
Sit on it and spin, Dennis.
- Kevin Fanning - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:06 pm:
easy now.
- anon2 - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:07 pm:
“…and then he put in his thumb, and pulled out a plum, and said…$25,000, please…”
- ZC - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:09 pm:
“I am going to fight for the people of Illinois, to do the people’s business, to get beyond the bickering and the partisanship of Springfield. Hey, Dennis. You want the Prairie Parkway? Pull my thumb.”
- The 'Broken Heart' of Rogers Park - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:09 pm:
“Go ahead, Dennis. You can suck my thumb. It’s clean.”
- The 'Broken Heart' of Rogers Park - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:11 pm:
“It’s my way or the highway. You know how to hitch hike, don’t you?”
- Sinister - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:13 pm:
“I declare a thumb war!”
- Skeeter - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:14 pm:
“I would like to thank my good friend Speaker Hastert for the funding for the nice comfy fed pens.
[Pause]
Not that I might be a defendant or anything. That was just stuff my lawyers put in that response.
[Pause]
Go Cubs! How about that Fukodome? Reminds me of a kid named Banks. Did I ever tell you about the game when Banks hit one out? Let me tell you . . .”
- VanillaMan - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:16 pm:
“I was a boxer, and Dennis here was a wrestler, and together we will box and wrestle for the working families of Illinois.”
- OneMan - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:17 pm:
Since our budget is so tight Mr. Speaker, this is how you are going to have to get back to Yorkville.
- anon2 - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:17 pm:
“Seven lonely days
and a dozen towns ago
I reached out one night
and you were gone….”
- OneMan - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:18 pm:
Why are you not frowning like the rest of these guys.
- Kevin Fanning - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:18 pm:
Lol, nice one VM.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:18 pm:
“Have what it takes Dennis to thumb wrestle me?”
“Do ya, big boy?”
“My posse here says you’re chicken!”
- Erickson - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:22 pm:
So I told all those drug addicts and their kids “you’re outta here!” “But look on the bright side, we’ve got more money to educate you homeless, motherless kiddies!”
- Vote Quimby! - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:28 pm:
“And one day I was hitch-hiking and a car pulls up and a little black girl says ‘Hey look, it’s Mayor Daley!’ I told to lock herself inside the house because crime is so out of control, which will be cured if we pass my jobs bill.”
- Speaking At Will - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:31 pm:
Wudda you mean you dont remember the secret handshake? A little shake, a little bake, no, it’t not coming to ya? ….ahh Dennis you gotta learn to live a little…
- Kevin Fanning - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:32 pm:
A little bit of everything in that one Quimby.
- Vote Quimby! - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:34 pm:
I had to do something to avoid the intense gaze of the bald guy above the gov’s elbow….(scanning crowd for potential targets)
- A Citizen - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:38 pm:
“There ain’t no fleas on me,
There ain’t no fleas on me,
There may be fleas on some of you Mugs but,
There ain’t no fleas on me!”
- A Citizen - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:40 pm:
Or, perhaps more to the point:
“There ain’t no bugs on me,
There ain’t no bugs on me,
There may be bugs on some of you Mugs but,
There ain’t no bugs on me!”
- walter sobchak - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:46 pm:
“And, I pledge to the people of Illinois, my hair will never look like Denny’s.”
- North of I-80 - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 12:53 pm:
“Here, go ahead and suck on it. You just purse your lips together, take it in your mouth and it all gets better…. works for me”
- COPN - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:02 pm:
Remember some months back when “The [wrestling] Coach” almost resigned his honorary post of publicly pitching the capital plan with the Governor? That all changed after losing a fateful [thumb] wrestling match…I guess Poshard won his.
- Anonymous - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:05 pm:
“Back me up on this one, Denny…..you said you wanted apple slices and coffee…we had apple slices and coffee.”
- Clown Band roadie - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:09 pm:
“1,2,3,4, I declare a thumb war… um, a special session, I mean”
(BTW, Portillo’s ships anywhere in the US overnight, one big beef without the peppers please)
- IllinoisBelows - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:10 pm:
Is there a booger on the end of his thumb?!?!
- What planet is he from again? - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:11 pm:
“See? Sucking my thumb makes everything all bright and cheery. Here, you try it!”
- Kevin Fanning - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:13 pm:
Haha nice try Clown Band roadie. BTW great name.
- zatoichi - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:15 pm:
The two guys staring at the Gov: “What the…we practiced that joke with him. This is his improvement? It was killer material.”
- Louis G. Atsaves - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:16 pm:
Go get my comb will’ya?
- Jake from Elwood - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:17 pm:
Speaker Hastert is unimpressed by the Governor’s Arthur Fonzerelli impersonation.
- Dan S, a voter and Cubs Fan - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:17 pm:
Shouldn’t those signs read “Illinois Worked” Rod R Blagojevich
- Reddbyrd - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:21 pm:
I say “Yes”, Abramoff and Wyma are the best lobbos in DC. They got us EEEEEEverything we needed
- Gregor - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:22 pm:
“See???? I finally pulled it out of there; what ELSE does Madigan want from me???”
- 10th Indy - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:24 pm:
“This here Speaker didn’t send no minions”
- If It Walks Like a Duck... - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:35 pm:
This is Serbian Sign Language for “Hit the road.” You’ve had your chance.
- Reality - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:37 pm:
“I’m Tweedle Dum…and this is my friend Tweedle Dee…we’re here to save you Tweedle Dummer–uh, I mean MJM.”
- Downstater - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:39 pm:
One is a former political heavyweight that no longer holds any real power. The other is Dennis Hastert.
- Reality - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:39 pm:
Let me try again….I dropped a word!
“I’m Tweedle Dum…and this is my friend Tweedle Dee…we’re here to save you from Tweedle Dummer–uh, I mean MJM”
- Heartless Libertarian - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:44 pm:
Now that first scar is from when my father inlaw bit me. And you see that one at the bottom, that fresh one, that was Madigan. I just don’t know why people get so mad at me… okay everyone, special session, get to work, I’ll be at the Cubs game.
- Got my mojo workin' - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:44 pm:
“See the bald guy back there? He’s the one I used to make carry the hairbrush. Irony!”
- Juice - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:45 pm:
I found this here polar bear in one of our very fine state parks.
- How Ironic - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:48 pm:
The Gov says “Watch…when I wiggle my thumb like a worm, Denny tries to bite it. Every TIME!!”
- imback - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:50 pm:
See, I can pretend its a microphone and I’m the reporter asking all those mean and stupid questions. Or I can pretend its a hairbrush. And I’ve been practicing my best Bill Clinton impression so I can sincerely deny that I’m a potential defendant.
- One of Three Puppets - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:52 pm:
Would you like my favorite pacifier?
It keeps me happy at the Capitol.
- Anonymous - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:56 pm:
“Hey, at least this guy thinks I’m telling the truth. He has faith in Bush, Cheney, Rove, and me!”
- Anon - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:57 pm:
“Hey, do you think the guys behind you fell for my BS?”
- One of the 35 - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:57 pm:
You know my reputation Denny. If this capitol plan does not pass, I’ll throw you under the bus too!
- Plutocrat03 - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 1:59 pm:
If youse don like da way tings are going, me and my meanest boz will come over and tune youse up
- Downstate weed chewing hick - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:03 pm:
Who did I get to do my job? This Guy!
- Steve - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:13 pm:
“You are the best”,no “You are the best”,well we both know how to make money in real estate,so we are both the best.
- JacksonJive - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:14 pm:
Don’t worry, speak, we’ll get you one of those finder’s fees!
- upstate - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:19 pm:
“See Dennis, I told you Barbara Currie bite me….” but he thinking ’she can BITE ME…’
- S. Illinois - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:21 pm:
“Ok….I want a big beef, lotsa peppers. Hoffman wants a meatball sandwich, Poshard an Italian sausage….get dogs for the rest of them. And grab something for yourself, too Denny. Get the cash from K-Fan.”
- Ghost - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:25 pm:
Your out of here Hastert…. anyone see Foster?
- Velma - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:36 pm:
I don’t understand why the media keeps saying that I’m thumbing my nose at people; my thumb is nowhere near my nose — see?
- been there - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:37 pm:
“You ain’t never killed a rabbit and you ain’t no friend of mine.”
- dupage progressive - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:40 pm:
“It hurts Denny… will you kiss it and make it all better? In fact, can you make it all better?
I just don’t understand why everyone is picking on me…”
- Don't Worry, Be Happy - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:44 pm:
“Look, a capital budget is good for everyone who gets involved. The Speaker here is going to make millions off of the Prairie Parkway. I’m telling ya, get on board now and I’ll cut you in too for a piece of the action.”
- Six Degrees of Separation - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 2:46 pm:
Juice 1:45
Your caption is not possible. The governor has never been to a state park.
- dupage progressive - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 3:00 pm:
“When no one believes you, just dance.
Come on guys, try it - I think you’ll like it.
Remember the Hand Jive everyone? Come on, join in any time.
It’s a great way to distract everyone who asks about indictment, impeachment, churches, drug treatment. It’s what you do when people think you’re full of sh**t, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE. Come ON Denny - show ‘em what you got”
- Lazy intern - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 3:00 pm:
Hey can you ask President Bush, for a pardon for your favourite governor?
- Downstate weed chewing hick - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 3:24 pm:
RB, “Denny, pull my thumb”
DH, “Good grief, he can’t even get that right.”
- BIG R.PH. - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 3:32 pm:
Gov: “So Denny, you’re telling me you had control of the House, the Senate and the Presidency and you couldn’t get anything done?”
DH: “Yup”
Gov: “Sounds eerily familiar”
- Portillo's Fan - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 3:40 pm:
The Governor’s inexplicible temporary loss of depth perception results in his awkward attempt to passionately embrace former Speaker Hastert in thanks for his support on the capital bill.
- Rebel13 - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 3:49 pm:
And I told all those mean corporations to take a hike!
(BTW this is in front of the Illinois Works Banner!)
- Ghost - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 3:58 pm:
yuz, yuz, and yuz, get Fanning and that !@#$ camera of his out of here.
- Matt - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 3:59 pm:
Who has two thumbs and thinks I’m a great Gov? This guy.
- Ghost - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 4:01 pm:
Forgive me, Godfather (Hastert), but with you gone, me and Jones will come under Madigans thumb sooner or later.
- LOL - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 4:19 pm:
Hey Denny - I am going down and you are coming with me - but all in all - it has been a great day!!!
- kj - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 4:27 pm:
Illinois Works, but we don’t.
- Squideshi - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 4:30 pm:
“You’re outta there buddy!”
- A Springfield Veteran - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 4:34 pm:
Hey! This guy used to be Speaker or something!
- Gregor - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 5:06 pm:
“Call Disney: we will replace Ebert and Roeper!”
- OurMagician - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 5:30 pm:
I can count on this many fingers how many nights I’ve stayed in Springfield, how ’bout you Denny?
- Disgusted - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 5:43 pm:
“Now all youse guys back here agree wit me , don’t youse?”
- 22skidoo - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 5:45 pm:
We don’t do business that way. Right, Denny?
- 22skidoo - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 5:46 pm:
Or:
Governor, you’re a hell of a guy.
- eileen left - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 5:59 pm:
You do still have Cross on boaed, right?
- Deep Water - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 6:23 pm:
Jeez… ya think the FEDS stink, take a wiff of this digit!
- Ahem - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 6:30 pm:
“You can bite your thumb, and you can bite your friends, but you can’t bite your friends’ thumbs!”
- Frank and Honest (Abe) - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 6:31 pm:
See these losers behind me? Watch them ask “how high”, when I say jump!
- dmb - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 6:57 pm:
You did not get it done as promised and you are OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sue me!!
- Anonymous - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 7:31 pm:
“No matter what people might say, I can honestly say that I have never…I repeat NEVER…been caught pointing a finger at anyone in the GOP for the problems we’re having in this State.”
- Numero Uno - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 8:35 pm:
“So, once again, the legislative leaders we are counting on to stick with us on our capital bill fight are President Jones, that’s one, and………President Jones - oh, I already said him……Denny, help me out here…”
- Jay SeaBee - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 9:12 pm:
“We’re still good on the lobbying gig, right?
- Jay SeaBee - Friday, Aug 1, 08 @ 9:14 pm:
“If you drop that notebook, this will be the slight pressure you will be feeling!”
- BobW - Saturday, Aug 2, 08 @ 3:28 pm:
“Are you the guy who took my comb?”
- Lefty Lefty - Sunday, Aug 3, 08 @ 1:49 am:
Hey Denny, you believe me, right? Am I right or am I right? Right? You know how hard it is, right? Bein’ a leader and all, right? It’s hard! Tell ‘em Denny!