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Question of the day
Monday, Aug 11, 2008 - Posted by Rich Miller * Let’s say you own a restaurant near the Statehouse and you want to attract political types. Your assignment is to come up with clever menu items based on the governor, the speaker, the Senate president and Mayor Daley.
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- 618er - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:33 am:
Crow would have to be a special….
- How Ironic - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:33 am:
My item for the “Gov Special” is this.
First, the waiter will suggest a new item that is on special for the day. The waiter will explain how different this item is than any other item they have ever had before.
Upon ordering the “Gov Special”, the waiter will demand $25,000 just for the privilege of catching a glimpse of said sandwich.
Following payment, the waiter will only offer reasons why the sandwich can’t be served. Other items on the menu are holding up progress, the restaurant staff is in need of “change”, and lastly that the cooks have all been relocated to Harrisburg (where they need chefs).
- Levois - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:42 am:
The governor’s chitterlings cooked with potatoes. The speaker’s porterhouse steak. The Senate president’s black-eyed peas. Finally Da Mayor’s corned beef with cabbage.
- Wumpus - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:46 am:
governor- peanut butter and banana sandwiches w/Old Style in honor of his 2 loves, Elvis adn the (first place) Cubs
the speaker-Eel Sushi-unagi-he is so slick
the Senate president- pilot fish
Mayor Daley-gruel with potato Vodka for COmrad Daley
- Gov. Psychotic - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:48 am:
Carp and them more Carp.
- Dan S. a Voter and Cubs Fan - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:48 am:
The daily special would be “arsenic & old lace”.
- 33 1/3 - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:50 am:
What ever Hannah Montana likes.
- Illinois Tollway - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:56 am:
I think you should add Patrick Fitzgerald to the list too and add delivery charges to the Federal Court House.
- One of the 35 - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:59 am:
The only menu item would be Mulligan Stew. There is no recipe; you just throw in whatever you have at the moment. Patrons can take it or leave it.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 9:59 am:
MJM: “The Usual,” Chicken with peppers, two side salads with house dressing, served on a meat cleaver.
RRB: “The Unusual,” Footlong hotdog sprinkled with Ritalin, served on a full-length mirror.
EJJr.: Whatever Rod’s having.
RMD: Whatever Rod isn’t having.
- unspun - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:04 am:
Menu items:
The G-Rod AV Burger…comes standard with lettuce, pickle and tomato. However, patrons may modify, add, and exchange items to their hearts’ content. Hell, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a burger after all of the “improvements” are completed!
The Jones Jr. “welfare burger”… Customers may add any condiments they desire, provided that final product is exactly like the G-Rod burger. Cash and food stamps accepted.
The MJM “mystery burger”… Served when the kitchen decides that it is good and ready. The chef has absolute discretion regarding ingredients. The quality ranges from unpalatable to deadly poisonous.
- Anonymous45 - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:07 am:
Rodder: “Lite special” A flaky roll served with fake bacon and lite mayo, $25,000
Mikey: A thick porterhouse steak covered with little mushrooms, $ a small donation to DPI
Emil: Pulled pork with chitterlings, $39.95
- Anonymous45 - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:14 am:
RMD Special: A sampling of Chicago’s best: a beef Sangwich juicy wit hot peppers, Vienna hot dog wit everyting, a deep dish sausage pizza and a pitcher of Old Style $ priceless
- WhoKnew - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:15 am:
I think the New Salem Resturant say it best with a “Govenor Rod POORBOY”
- Linus - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:42 am:
These days, I think a “Suicide Special” of hemlock served with an anti-freeze chaser would sell faster than anything.
- wordslinger - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:44 am:
Governor: The BlagoDog, an unprepared, half-baked hot dog. Definitely not kosher.
Daley: The Daley Double. Chicagoans keep coming back for this kool-aid-based skull-popper. Truth be told, no one really likes this sour mixture, but another drink could be worse.
MJM: The Velvet Hammer, a smooth, icy beverage with a devastating kick.
Jones: The Food Stamp Porkchop, stuffed with whatever we can get our hands on.
Pat Fitz: Angler Pat’s Catch of the Day. Prepared by twisting slowly in the wind as heat is progressively increased until it squeals. This dish really sings!
- anon sequitor - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:50 am:
Rod - Chicken stir-fry - Chef promises a chicken in every pot to stir your appetite but then can’t deliver any chicken so all you get is some overcooked veggies, bland sauce and sticky rice, leaving you feeling empty and still hungry. Unfortunately, it also gives you diarrhea.
MJM - Steak au poivre - A nice big juicy medium rare steak coated with a hot pepper sauce. Top of the line Illinois corn fed beef, but don’t try it if you have a delicate stomach.
Jones - Pork Sandwich - Slow cooked pork with lots of smokey flavor, best served piled on. Remember, pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.
Daley - A Chicago style beef sandwich - What else? “Where’s the beef?”
Everyday Special: Cap Fax Chili - Three Alarm version. Gotta generate some real heat for blogging.
- Diamond Dog - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:54 am:
Milorod’s Suprise Three Pound Cheesey Burger - The suprise is not meat, just a bunch of cheese. The best part is you don’t pay of it, the next guy to sit at your table is given the bill.
- Captain Flume - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:55 am:
Governor: Just Desserts
Sen. President: Grease
Speaker: Piece of the Pie
Mayor Daley: Whole Enchilada
- Irrelevant-American - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:12 am:
I’d suggest a horseshoe sandwich. It will feed four and be just what they need to get through the “stuff” they have to go through to get anything done in Springfield.
- Speaking At Will - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:15 am:
Governor: Impeachment Pie
- Political observer - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:21 am:
A Blagojevich sandwich:
Plenty of baloney topped with piles pork and surrounded with bread from state contractors….
- Plutocrat03 - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:33 am:
The Governor’s special: Rocky Mountain Oysters, for ____ virility
Da. Mare’s special: Tripe soup and a horseburger, for his affinity for all things French.
- Jake from Elwood - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:46 am:
Rod–I would not recommend that anything be served family style.
Emil–anything cooked on or with an electric device. Let’ s amend the tariff!
Madigan–dry white toast, no butter and no jam.
Daley–foie gras. He has a penchant for force-feeding things through.
- Jake from Elwood - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:50 am:
It really doesn’t matter what’s on the menu. The governor will send the meal back with suggestions on how to better amend it.
- Six Degrees of Separation - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 12:10 pm:
Jake-
Reheat to Taste Sweet?
Respice to Taste Nice?
And as far as a menu item for today’s shenanigan’s the Politician’s Horseshoe would seem appropriate. After eating it, everything in your system is clogged up for days, and your doctor recommends you avoid this meal altogether if possible.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 12:13 pm:
Jake and Six, he’d probably just rewrite the entire menu.
- hoops fan - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 12:20 pm:
Gov.’s special - Remade right: billed as a loose meat sandwich, offered free to widows, orphans, veterans and seniors. When it arrives, its two pieces of stale bread served with an autographed picture of G-rod.
Speaker’s special - leather and lace: spicey beef jerky (tough) drenched in horseradish (powerful) wrapped in a light and airy pastry (refined for all the world to see).
President’s special - Southside blind pig stew: a rare delicacy available only north of I-80 and made fresh daily on the campus of Chicago State University. The main ingredient comes only from blind porcine who happily follow the siren’s song to the slaughterhouse.
Mayor Daley - Chameleon cake: it changes colors based on who is looking at it, some thinking it looks new and progressive, others thinking it looks old and stale. The surprise, however, is inside where every so often the diner will receive a piece of bubble gum, fruit or something else so unexpected, it makes you shake your head and laugh in disbelief.
- If It Walks Like a Duck... - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 12:28 pm:
“Chicago-style hot dogs”
- Skeeter - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:01 pm:
I’m not sure about the other three, but to get Emil in, you had better have a dollar menu (like at McDonalds).
The man is POOR I hear. How can he POSSIBLY make ends meat on the salary of a State Senator?
I’m thinking of holding a fundraiser for the guy, so that he can continue to support his family while working at such a ridiculously low wage.
- Commonsense in Illinois - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:31 pm:
The Blago Plate: We take absolutely nothing, then lightly bread and roll it in a puffery crust of garlic skins to produce an exotic aroma pleasing to the senses. Served with a side of empty promises and incredible ego. Our Chef recommends a Shirley Temple as the drink of choice.
The Madigan: A light offering of whatever is ready to be served today…a true chef’s table offering paired nicely with experience and a crisp full-bodied merlot.
The President’s platter: Baloney deep fried in lard with collard greens and a price increase every two years. Served with a small portion of the Blagojevich Plate on the side. Goes nicely with demands for respect in this family-owned establishment.
The Cross: Mac and cheese is this family favorite…always filling for the masses but is subtly fattening and lacks nutritional substance. Served with a Capri-Sun for all ages.
The Watson: Nobody knows what’s in this dish and unfortunately, nobody cares either.
The Daley Feast: Prepared with a lifetime of experience, this Chef’s masterpiece promises to be loved by everyone (and if you don’t you can just leave, okay!). It comes with everyone’s favorites and fills everyone up…nobody leaves hungry; particularly the Chef. Ala Carte or with savory crumbs for the suburbs.
- Ghost - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:35 pm:
Dailey Special for the governor would be whipped potatoes and creamed corn;
For the speaker, Roast Beef served rare;
the Jones, Wisconsin Cheese Soup
and for Mayor Daley, Foie Gras of course!
- Lefty - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:46 pm:
“Big Mouth” Burgers all around.
- The Republicrat - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:48 pm:
They’ll all enjoy boneless (spineless?) chicken breast.
- Scooby - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:50 pm:
Just open up a Greek restuarant and be done with it.
- Ghost - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 1:59 pm:
Scooby, not sure I would want to trust the Gov with flaming saganaki if Madigan was sitting nearby….
- David Starrett - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 2:02 pm:
Decades of trial-and-error research has finally enabled us to bring you the General Assembly’s Special Pork-Fed Corn!
- Scooby - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 2:03 pm:
I would not recommend putting flaming food in the vicinity of the Governor’s hair.
- Louis G. Atsaves - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 2:58 pm:
Sign posted at the door: “All State House officials must pay before entering!”
- The Swedish Chef - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 3:39 pm:
- Fried Boloney Rodwich. $25,000
- House Special Sandwich: Corned Beef and Mushrooms. And a hand-peeled apple.
- The Emil-Decker: Fried Pork Tenderloin topped with grilled country-style ham and bacon — and a pay raise. Relatives’ resumes available upon request.
- The DaleyWood: Hoagie roll, stuffed with neighborhood deli selections based on who Daley is trying to manipulate that day. Served with Ragin’ hot sauce and fried Olympic rings on the side.
- the Other Anonymous - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 5:00 pm:
I know this doesn’t quite fit the QOTD guidelines, but in honor of last year’s budget battle, how about the House Dems Pulled Pork Sandwich — Rod’s special recipe.
- Big Mama T - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 5:39 pm:
Rod tells everyone that he ordered the best items on the menu for all then excuses himself to the restroom. Rod doesn’t return and the food never does make it to the table.
- Esther - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 6:40 pm:
definitely foie gras for daley
- Jack - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:07 pm:
The “You ain’t seen nothing yet” steak. It weighs about a 1/4 ounce and cost $2 billion.
- Jack - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:11 pm:
Emil’s “Pay Raise surprise” It’ll keep you off food stamps, but its hard to swallow before November.
- Jack - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 10:18 pm:
Madigan’s Im-Peach salad. But he swear’s it wasn’t his recipe.
- Disgusted - Monday, Aug 11, 08 @ 11:41 pm:
They all need a portion of humble pie.