Sometimes I know I have to (boom boom)
Run away, I have to (boom boom)
Run away
From the Feds that are knocking on my front door
Oh, the cash you’ve paid
It will be “mislaid”
And you will regret
For I lie and scheme and I’m not done yet
(chorus)
Once you came to me (you came)
Now you disown me
This tainted Gov I’ve become
I take and take all a Gov could take,
Take your cash and that’s not nearly all
Oh…. Tainted Gov (oh, oh oh oh oh)
Tainted Gov
Now I know I’ve got to (boom boom)
Cash and dash, I’ve got to (boom boom)
Cash and dash
To sell Obama’s seat, I must make one last move
I will not disappoint
You won’t believe who I appoint
And you’ll know I’ve got no sense
But I’m sorry and that’s my DEFENSE!!
(chorus…)
Don’t touch my hair
Come on, it’s mine, really, I swear
I am only doing my job
Now protect me please from the lynch mob!!!
Tainted Gov, tainted Gov
Tainted Gov, tainted Gov
G-rod, I’m the tainted Gov
G-rod, I’m the tainted Gov
Tainted Gov
Tainted Gov
Tainted Gov!!
Other Suggestions: Gov locked down (a la Kanye West Love Lockdown)
We’re through being cool
We’re through being cool
Eliminate the ninnies and the twits.
Gonna bang some heads
Gonna beat some butts
Time to show those evil spuds what’s what.
If you live in a small town
You might meet a dozen or two
Young alien types who step out
and dare to declare
We’re through being cool
We’re through being cool
Spank the pank who tries to drive you nuts
Time to clean some house
Be a man or a mouse
Waste those who make it tough to get around
If you live in a big place
Many factions underground
Chase down Mr. Hinky Dink
So no trace can be found
We’re through being cool
We’re through being cool
[Synthesizer solo]
Put the tape on erase
Re-arrange a face
We always liked Picasso anyways.
If you live in a small town
You might meet a dozen or two
Young alien types who step out
And dare to declare
We’re through being cool
We’re through being cool
Eliminate the ninnies and the twits
We’re through being cool
We’re through being cool
Spank the pank who tries to drive you nuts
When Illinois was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well theyd be singing so happily,
Joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then we elected the Bla go vich to teach us how to be sensible,
Logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where Illinois could be so corruptible,
buyable, purchaseable, venal.
For years the legislatures been asleep,
The questions run too deep
For elected officials to ignore.
Wont you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But after Ryan here we are again.
Now watch what you say or Blago will be firing,
devouring, cutting, searing you.
Wont you please just do the right thing, wed like to feel our Govenors
Acceptable, respecable, presentable, a vegtable!
For years the legislatures been asleep,
The questions run too deep
For elected officials to ignore.
Wont you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
Wont you please, please tell me what weve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please find us a Govenor.
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back I said no, no, no
I don’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
You’s tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go
I’d rather be at home with Ray
I ain’t got seventy days
Cos there’s nothing, nothing you can’t teach me
That I can’t learn from Mr Hathaway
I didn’t get a lot in class
But I know we don’t come in a shot glass
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been blind but when I come back I said no, no, no
I don’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
You’s tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go
The man said why do you think you here?
I said I got no idea
I’m gonna, gonna lose my baby
So I always keep a bottle near
He said I just think you’re depressed
Yes me, baby, and the rest
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back oh no, no, no
I don’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
You’s tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go
I don’t ever want to drink again
I just, ooh I just need a friend
I’m not gonna spend ten weeks
And have everyone think I’ve gone mad
And it’s not just my pride
It’s just til these tears have dried
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back I said no, no, no
I ain’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
You’s tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go
Of my elaborate plans, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
Ill never look into your eyes…again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need…of some…strangers hand
In a…desperate land
Lost in a roman…wilderness of pain
And all the people are insane
All the Illinois people are insane
Waiting for the summer rain
Theres danger on the edge of Chicago town
Ride the kings highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby
Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake…hes old, and his skin is cold
The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and well do the rest
The Feds awoke before dawn, and put their boots on
They took a face from the ancient mug shots
And he walked up to my front door
He went into the room where I was in a fetal position
Paid a visit to my wife, and then they
They walked we out to their car
And they came to a door…and they looked inside
Governor, yes patric, I’m goring to arrest you
People of Illinois, yes Blago, I’m going to screw you
This is the end
Dutiful friends
This is the end
My very few friends, the end
It hurts to set you free
But that’s they it has to be, it seems
The end of money and power
The end of mainstream media after me
“There must be some way out of here,” said the joker to the thief,
“There’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth.”
“No reason to get excited,” the thief, he kindly spoke,
“There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we’ve been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.”
All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.
Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl.
Breaking rocks in the hot sun
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the law won
I needed the money ’cause I had none
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the law won
I miss my baby and I feel so sad
I guess my race is run
Well she’s the best girl that I ever had
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the
Robbing people with a six gun
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the law won
I miss my baby and I miss my fun
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the law won
I miss my baby and I feel so sad
I guess my race is run
Well she’s the best girl that I ever had
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the
I fought the law and the law won [x7]
I fought the law and the
C’mon folks. This is Rod Blagojevich we’re talking about.
It has to be Elvis. Granted the criminal trial is a ways off, but “Jailhouse Rock” is the first song that came to mind. Since the report was just released, “Suspicious Minds” will do.
The question I want to ask Rod, as the House prepares to vote? “Are you lonesome tonight?”
Making your way in the state today, takes everything you got…
hiring cronies and all those phonies, sure does cost a lot…
Wouldn’t you like to get away…sometimes you wanna go
Where everybody pays to play
And the kickbacks come your way
You wanna be where you can see, your power will rule the day
You wanna be where everybody pays to play
He’s a what?
He’s a what?
He’s a newspaper man
And he gets his best ideas
From a newspaper stand;
From his boots to his pants
To his comments and his rants
He knows that any little article will do!
Though he expresses some confusion
‘Bout his part in the plan,
And he can’t understand
That he’s not in command;
The decisions underwritten
By the cash in his hand
Bought a sweater for
His weimariner too
Now I’m no mad man,
But that’s insanity
Feast before famine,
And more before family
Goes and shows up with
More bowls and more
Cups and the riot for the
Last hot meal erupts
Corrupts his hard drive
Through the leanest months
Shells out the hard cash
For the sickest stunts;
On aftershave, on gasoline
He flips the page and turns
The scene
In my mind I’m drowning butterflies
Broken dreams and alibis;
That’s fine.
I’ve seen my palette blown
To monochrome-
Hollow heart
Clicks hollowtone,
It’s time.
Eye on authority,
Thumb prints a forgery
Boy, ain’t it crazy what the
Lights can do
For counterfeit community;
Every opportunity
Wasted as the space
Between the flash tattoo
And the half-hearted hologram,
Posed for the party
Now he gloss full bleed
On a deaf dumb tree
Cod liver dollar signs,
Credit card autograph
Down for the record
But not for freedom
Angry young mannequin
American, apparently
Still to the rhythm
Better get to the back of me
Can’t stand the vision,
Better tongue the anatomy
Gold plated overhead,
Blank transparency
In the days of old,
You were a nut
Now you need three bumps
Before you cut
Not that I should care about,
Nothing I ain’t scared of, but
I guess you had
To
Be
There.
In my mind I’m breeding butterflies,
Broken dreams, and alibis
That’s fine.
I’ve seen my palette
Blown to monochrome
Hollow heart
Clicks hollowtone
In time.
I see you figured in your action pose
Foam-injected axl rose,
Life size
Should something shake you
And you drop the news,
Lord, just keep your dancing shoes
Off mine
And if Rod had wanted to avoid this whole mess he would have been wise to heed the advice of ELVIS when he said…”A little less conversation, a lot more action.”
Go ‘way from my window,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I’m not the one you want, babe,
I’m not the one you need.
You say you’re lookin’ for someone
Never weak but always strong,
To protect you an’ defend you
Whether you are right or wrong,
Someone to open each and every door,
But it ain’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe,
It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe.
Go lightly from the ledge, babe,
Go lightly on the ground.
I’m not the one you want, babe,
I will only let you down.
You say you’re lookin’ for someone
Who will promise never to part,
Someone to close his eyes for you,
Someone to close his heart,
Someone who will die for you an’ more,
But it ain’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe,
It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe.
Go melt back into the night, babe,
Everything inside is made of stone.
There’s nothing in here moving
An’ anyway I’m not alone.
You say you’re looking for someone
Who’ll pick you up each time you fall,
To gather flowers constantly
An’ to come each time you call,
A lover for your life an’ nothing more,
But it ain’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe,
It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe.
Hat tip to AngrySicilian for the idea: “Guv Lockdown” to the tune of Kanye West’s “Love Lockdown”:
I’m not bribin’ you
Way I wanted to
What I had to do
Had to pay-to-play with you
I’m ina plot with you
But the vibe is wrong
And they taped me all night long
So you never knew
Never, never knew
Til it’s over Guv
Til you lost control
Impeachment overload
Screamin’ no, no, no, no, no
Five not buyin’ you
Way you wanted to
Seat you want to move
But can’t sell no mo’
So you keep it low
Keep a secret mode
So public don’t have to know
So keep your Guv locked down
Your Guv locked down
Keepin’ your Guv locked down
Your Guv locked down
Pat keep our Guv locked down
Our Guv locked down
Now keep your Guv locked down
He lose
I’m not bribin’ you
Way I wanted to
I thought no one knew
What I was gonna do
Now, I said I’m through
Pat’s got eyes on you
And I’m not bribin’ you
Way I wanted to
Gotta keep it going
Keep the ‘re-election going
Keep it on at the polls
Only the Feds knows
If I’d bribed you
Illinois is confused
They choose, they choose
Voters not lovin’ you
Way they used to
Where you about to go
They don’t need you
We’ve been down this road
Too many times before
Voters not lovin’ you
Way they used to
So keep your Guv locked down
Your Guv locked down
Keepin’ your Guv locked down
Your Guv locked down
Pat keep our Guv locked down
Our Guv locked down
Now keep your Guv locked down
He lose
Oh, it’s the song that never ends and it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they’ll continuing singiing it if only just because it is the song that never….
Come on, Everybody!
- Jake from Elwood - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:02 pm:
My first thought was “I fought the law” by The Clash.
These lyrics written by the real Elvis (Elvis Costello) also drive the point home succinctly:
Title “We Despise You”
Hey you! Are you looking at me?
Don’t waste your time
‘Cos I know your crime and I know that pose
And the lines around your eyes don’t show
When your face is in repose
The skin is tightening as you touch a nerve
Did you get what you paid for
Or did you only get what you deserve?
Go home, go home, go home, go home
And don’t come out again until we tell you to
Until we say you can
Go home, go home, go home, go home
And don’t come out again ‘til we analyze you
We despise you
But we can’t help you now
The sins visit on your face
As you think about that cul-de-sac and the wit you lack
And the slanders you repeat when I don’t fall at your feet
Too old to be so frightened
And too scared to tell the truth
You lie in teenage anguish
Which you can no longer blame upon your youth
Go home, go home, go home, go home
And don’t come out again until we tell you to
Until we say you can
Go home, go home, go home, go home
And don’t come out again as we analyze you
We despise you
But we can’t help you now
We despise you
We despise you
We despise you
We despise you
- Fan of the Game - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:14 pm:
To the tune of Ian Drury and the Blockheads’ “Sweet Gene Vincent”
Milorad, baby
Skinny white hustler, the chances were slender
The hair was coiffed.
Shall I mourn your decline with some Thunderbird wine
And a Cubs cap that’s been doffed?
I miss your sad wire-tapped whisper
I miss the voice that called “Reform.”
Sweet Rod Blago
Young and bold and gone
Sweet Rod Blago
Who, who, who slapped John?
White face, black suit
White teeth, black shoes
Black hair, white wife
Emil’s gone, Who’s got your back?
Sweet Rod Blago
Let the Elvis tunes roll tonight
At the sock hop ball in the AFSCME hall
Where the bop is their delight.
Here comes Lieutenant Pat, in his populist hat.
He’s the one trying to get your seat
You can run around the town
But Fitz has got you down
And your jogging shoes aren’t that fleet.
Big hair, small brain
Cop cars, jailer’s chains
Big mouth, small mind
Cubs cap, cheap wine
Sweet Rod Blago
There’s one in every town,
And the devil drives till the feds arrive
And you lay that kitty down.
Sweet Rod Blago
There’s nowhere left to hide
With lazy skin and ash-tray eyes
A perforated pride.
So farewell, Springfield, I hardly knew you.
Farewell to the money tree
But when your phones been tapped and your rep’s been zapped
You got to try to stay free.
- If It Walks Like a Duck - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:16 pm:
GOING DOWN by Wil Maring
Oh, the road we’d chosen was the treacherous kind.
The grades were steep and the curves were blind.
It was a dead end road with no warning signs
we were going down, going down.
You know I can be found,
Sitting home all alone,
My office is far downtown,
So I scheme on the telephone.
Don’t be cruel to a gov that’s true.
Barbara, if I made you mad
For something I might have said,
Please, lets forget the tapes,
Trust me, don’t trust the feds.
Don’t’ be cruel to a gov that’s true.
You don’t want no other gov,
People, its just you I’m thinking of.
Please stop impeachment of me,
Don’t make me go away,
Come on let me here you tell me,
I’ve got years more of pay to play.
Don’t be cruel to a gov that’s true.
Don’t be cruel to a gov that’s true.
Why shame me to depart?
I’m really not that bad, just not too smart.
Lets walk up to the Speaker
And tell him it’s not true,
I didn’t abuse my power,
I did it all for you.
Don’t be cruel to a gov that’s true.
You don’t want no other gov,
People it’s just you I’m thinking of.
(How many people are at work, stifling a guffaw? Too funny, youse guys!)
- Fan of the Game - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:38 pm:
To the tune of “Hey, St. Peter” by Flash & the Pan
The morning was cold and lonely,
City lights old and grey.
The guv arose trying to smile
Gave it all away.
Harris called Candidate 5
The candidate couldn’t pay the bill.
Made a stand, raised his hand
Sang a song, no time to kill.
I said, Hey, hey, hey, St. Peter
I’ve got a tale to tell
I’ve just been down in Chicago town
It really feels like hell
It really feels like hell
Blago’s now out of fashion
Springfield was years ago
Yesterday he wasted time
Money was kind of slow
Blago had no friends of glory
Blago was a friend of fame
Took a chance, raised his hand
Sang a song, now he’s out of the game.
Hey, St. Peter
Before you ring your bell
Just been down in Springfield town
Done my time in hell
Done my time in hell
From Bobby Dylan’s “Things Have Changed” with light editing -
A worried man with a worried mind
Quinn’s in front of me and Burris behind
There’s a woman on my lap and she’s drinking champagne
Got white skin, got assassin’s eyes
I’m looking up into the sapphire tinted skies
I’m well dressed, waiting on the last train
Standing on the gallows with my head in a noose
Any minute now I’m expecting all hell to break loose
People are crazy and times are strange
I’m locked in tight, I’m out of range
I used to care, but things have changed
This place ain’t doing me any good
I’m in the wrong town, I should be in Washington
Just for a second there I thought I saw something move
Gonna take dancing lessons do the jitterbug rag
Ain’t no shortcuts, gonna dress in drag
Only a fool in here would think he’s got anything to prove
Lot of water under the bridge, Lot of other stuff too
Don’t get up gentlemen, I’m only passing through
People are crazy and times are strange
I’m locked in tight, I’m out of range
I used to care, but things have changed
I’ve been walking forty miles of bad road
If the bible is right, the world will explode
I’ve been trying to get as far away from myself as I can
Some things are too hot to touch
The human mind can only stand so much
You can’t win with a losing hand
Here’s the lyrics:
Aint but one way out baby, lord I just cant go out the door.
Aint but one way out baby, and lord I just cant go out the door.
Cause theres a man down there, might be your man I dont know.
Lord you got me trapped woman, up on the second floor;
If I get by this time I wont be trapped no more.
So raise our window baby, I can ease out soft and slow.
And lord, your neighbors, no they wont be
Talking that stuff that they dont know.
Lord, Im foolish to be here in the first place,
I know some man gonna walk in and take my place.
Aint no way in the world, Im going out that front door
Cause theres a man down there, might be your man I dont know.
Cause theres a man down there, might be your man I dont know.
Cause theres a man down there,
Freely
Lord, it just might happen to be your man…
Lord, it just a might be your man,
Oh baby, I just dont know…
Oh, it needs to be the Steam song used by the Sox:
You said you’re honest
You’d give us your real best
But then you showed us all it really
was a lie
After your reign of terror and your high crimes
(high crimes, all the time)
We wanna say we kiss you,
(wouldn’t say we miss you)
We’re gonna kiss you, good-bye…
na na na, na,
na, na NA, na,
HEY HEY, ROD, GOOD_BYE!
What a field day for the press
they all are covering this mess
The cameras Rod once liked to chase
are now getting shots of his sorry case
we gotta
Stop, children, what’s that sound, mister verility’s goin’ down.
- Spin one more time - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:20 pm:
He’s called Blago and he’ll never ever be any good
He’s called Blago and he never really does what he should
But just because he doesn’t do what everybody else does
doesn’t mean that we can’t share love
He is always true (to me)
F ‘ng golden’s what I’ll be
‘Cause he’s not the governor, no, no, no
He’s not the governor, no, no, not for free
I see your dirty face
High behind your collar
What is done in vain
Truth is hard to swallow
So you pray to God
To justify the way you live a lie
Live a lie
Live a lie
And you take your time
And you do your crime
Well you made your bed
I’m in mine
Because when I arrive
I, I bring the fire
Make you come alive
I can take you higher
What this is, forgot?
I must now remind you
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
(Kevin Rudolph)
Now the son’s disgrased
He, who knew his father
When he cursed his name
Turned, and chased the dollar
But it broke his heart
So he stuck his middle finger
To the world
To the world
To the world
And you take your time
And you stand in line
Well you’ll get what’s yours
I got mine
Because when I arrive
I, I bring the fire
Make you come alive
I can take you higher
What this is, forgot?
I must now remind you
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
Seems to me that “American Pie” must be used in this.
“Illinois Pie”
A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those voters dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.
But December made me shiver
With every Senate Seat I’d deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.
I can’t remember if I cried
When I heard about the Feds outside,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the hairgel died.
So bye-bye, Mr Illinois pie.
Took my hairbrush to the alley,…………
(At this point my limited creativity has reached its nadir)
- One of Three Puppets - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:53 pm:
Through Lies and Cheat and Scandal,
The Senate does mishandle,
Hoping their choice would pass them by
One thing that we’re all missin’
A Government that listens
Has apparently curled up and died
Move ‘em on, head ‘em up
Head ‘em up, Move ‘em on
Move ‘em on, head ‘em up
Deny!
Count ‘em in, count ‘em out
give ‘em vote, give ‘em clout
Count ‘em in, count ‘em out
DENY……YAH! *whiplash sound* YAH! *whiplash sound*
I was going to say suspicious minds because of the Guv’s obsession with Elvis, but Boone Logan Square beat me to it. However, I’ll include the lyrics because they’re just too fitting. Also really like that Guv locked down, that was hilarious. (hat tip to IL Yeezy)
We’re caught in a trap
I can’t walk out
Because I love you too much baby
Why can’t you see
What you’re doing to me
When you don’t believe a word I say?
We can’t go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can’t build our dreams
On suspicious minds
So, if an old friend I know
Drops by to say hello
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?
Here we go again
Asking where I’ve been
You can’t see these tears are real
I’m crying
We can’t go on together
With suspicious minds
And be can’t build our dreams
On suspicious minds
Oh let our love survive
Or dry the tears from your eyes
Let’s don’t let a good thing die
When honey, you know
I’ve never lied to you
Mmm yeah, yeah
Are you lonesome tonight?
Doesn’t impeachment bite?
Will you miss being Governor now ?
Does your memory stray to a bright sunny day
When the voters all called you sweetheart?
Do the drawers in your war chest seem empty and bare?
Do you think of a jail cell and picture you there?
Is your heart filled with pain, can you come back again?
Tell me Rod, are you lonesome tonight?
(spoken)
I wonder if you’re lonesome tonight
You know someone said that the world’s a stage
And each must play a part.
Fate had you playing in Illinois as our governor
Act One was when we met, Chicago loved you at first glance
You read your lines so cleverly and they voted for you
Then came act two, you seemed to change and you acted strange
And why we’ll never know.
Rod, you lied when you said you loved us
And we had no cause to doubt you
But rather than go on hearing your lies
We want to go on living without you.
Now the stage is bare and you’re standing there
With impeachment all around
We don’t want you anymore
So we’ll bring the curtain down
Is your heart filled with pain, career circling the drain?
Tell me Rod, are you lonesome tonight?
Governing on the edge my friend
It’s hard to keep free and clean
Soon you’ll sleep behind bars of iron
Your helmet head rarely seen
You weren’t the fixers only boy
But their favorite one it seems
They began to cry when you said goodbye
And sank from all your schemes
Blago was a bandit gov
His hair was hard as polished steel
Went to court in black spandex pants
To showcase testicular virility
Blago met his match you know
Under the dome by the Sangamo
Nobody heard his protesting words
Because he refused to show
All the federales say
They’ll get him for the pay to play
He won’t leave, he hangs around
He’s just shameless I suppose
Fitzy he don’t sing the blues
With Illinois govs, he’s two for two
The dust that Blago bit down south
Caused by words from his own mouth
The day they lay poor Blago low
Fitzy will have another go
Whose next in this freak show
There ain’t nobody knows
All the federales say
They’ll get him for the pay to play
He won’t leave, he hangs around
He’s just shameless I suppose
The bloggers tell how Blago fell
Next for him, a Club Fed hotel
Oxford’s quiet, Duluth’s cold
So the story ends we’re told
Blago needs your prayers it’s true,
But save a few for Fitzy too
He just did what he had to do
The crimes were base and bold
A few gray federales say
They’ll get him for the pay to play
He won’t leave, he hangs around
He’s just shameless I suppose
Considering he’s an ex- client of Genson’s maybe Rod can get a break on permission to use R. Kelly’s “trapped in the closet”, the process to get Rod out seems to take at least as long as that song “cycle”.
- Reclaimillinois.com - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 8:51 pm:
Renegade by Styx
Oh mama I’m in fear for my life
From the long arm of the law
Lawman has put an end to my running
And I’m so far from my home
Oh mama I can hear you a crying
You’re so scared and all alone
Hangman is coming down from the gallows
And I don’t have very long
The jig is up the news is out
They’ve finally found me
The renegade who had it made
Retrieved for a bounty
Never more to go astray
This will be the end today of the wanted man
- From the Sidelines - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:59 pm:
“Extreme Ways” Moby
Extreme ways are back again
Extreme places that I know
I broke everything here for gain
Everything that I’d owned
Career is out the window name is gone
Extreme ways that I’ve known
Remove my chances of a plea
Imperfect little me
Extreme ways that help me
They tell me that it’s all right
Extreme places I have gone
But never without a fight
Dirty actions, dirty deals
Dirty words bleeping through
Extreme but not alone
Did I ever like it then
You would stand in line for this
No other deal in life like this…
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Like it always does, always does
Extreme staff that sold me
They helped me think I was right
I always had so much to say
But the truth didn’t get to light
I closed my eyes, closed in my house
And closed my options never opened
Up to anything
Except what’s leagally wrong
I had to close down my dreams
I had to close down my mind
Too many things point to me
Too much the Feds can find
I’ve hid so much in so many places
So much promised, so many faces
So many dirty things
You couldn’t even believe
You would stand in line for this
No other deal in life like this
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Like it always does, always does
- Anonymous Coward - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:00 am:
JUDAS PRIEST “Breaking The Law”
- He Makes Ryan Look Like a Saint - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:00 am:
The Night They Drove old Blago Down….
- Lefty - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:00 am:
I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry!
- AngrySicilian - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:03 am:
Emily Robinson came up with this one, reposting:
Sometimes I know I have to (boom boom)
Run away, I have to (boom boom)
Run away
From the Feds that are knocking on my front door
Oh, the cash you’ve paid
It will be “mislaid”
And you will regret
For I lie and scheme and I’m not done yet
(chorus)
Once you came to me (you came)
Now you disown me
This tainted Gov I’ve become
I take and take all a Gov could take,
Take your cash and that’s not nearly all
Oh…. Tainted Gov (oh, oh oh oh oh)
Tainted Gov
Now I know I’ve got to (boom boom)
Cash and dash, I’ve got to (boom boom)
Cash and dash
To sell Obama’s seat, I must make one last move
I will not disappoint
You won’t believe who I appoint
And you’ll know I’ve got no sense
But I’m sorry and that’s my DEFENSE!!
(chorus…)
Don’t touch my hair
Come on, it’s mine, really, I swear
I am only doing my job
Now protect me please from the lynch mob!!!
Tainted Gov, tainted Gov
Tainted Gov, tainted Gov
G-rod, I’m the tainted Gov
G-rod, I’m the tainted Gov
Tainted Gov
Tainted Gov
Tainted Gov!!
Other Suggestions: Gov locked down (a la Kanye West Love Lockdown)
- Anon from BB - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:03 am:
“I Fought the Law”
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:07 am:
We’re Through Being Cool - Devo
We’re through being cool
We’re through being cool
Eliminate the ninnies and the twits.
Gonna bang some heads
Gonna beat some butts
Time to show those evil spuds what’s what.
If you live in a small town
You might meet a dozen or two
Young alien types who step out
and dare to declare
We’re through being cool
We’re through being cool
Spank the pank who tries to drive you nuts
Time to clean some house
Be a man or a mouse
Waste those who make it tough to get around
If you live in a big place
Many factions underground
Chase down Mr. Hinky Dink
So no trace can be found
We’re through being cool
We’re through being cool
[Synthesizer solo]
Put the tape on erase
Re-arrange a face
We always liked Picasso anyways.
If you live in a small town
You might meet a dozen or two
Young alien types who step out
And dare to declare
We’re through being cool
We’re through being cool
Eliminate the ninnies and the twits
We’re through being cool
We’re through being cool
Spank the pank who tries to drive you nuts
Smash ‘em.
- How Ironic - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:09 am:
Gonna Wash that Man right out of my hair. From South Pacific.
Perhaps someone could re-write to be “Gonna throw that gov right outta his office!”
- Downstate weed chewing hick - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:11 am:
Throw Rod a bone. If he is going to be singing this song for 10-15 years in the Fed Pen, at least set it to an Elvis tune.
- Anon14 - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:12 am:
“It’s Cool 2 Know Nothing.” - the Kaiser Chiefs
- Ghost - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:13 am:
To the Tune of SUpertramps logical song
When Illinois was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well theyd be singing so happily,
Joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then we elected the Bla go vich to teach us how to be sensible,
Logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where Illinois could be so corruptible,
buyable, purchaseable, venal.
For years the legislatures been asleep,
The questions run too deep
For elected officials to ignore.
Wont you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But after Ryan here we are again.
Now watch what you say or Blago will be firing,
devouring, cutting, searing you.
Wont you please just do the right thing, wed like to feel our Govenors
Acceptable, respecable, presentable, a vegtable!
For years the legislatures been asleep,
The questions run too deep
For elected officials to ignore.
Wont you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
Wont you please, please tell me what weve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please find us a Govenor.
- Anonymous - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:14 am:
Amy Winehouse “Rehab”
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back I said no, no, no
I don’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
You’s tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go
I’d rather be at home with Ray
I ain’t got seventy days
Cos there’s nothing, nothing you can’t teach me
That I can’t learn from Mr Hathaway
I didn’t get a lot in class
But I know we don’t come in a shot glass
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been blind but when I come back I said no, no, no
I don’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
You’s tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go
The man said why do you think you here?
I said I got no idea
I’m gonna, gonna lose my baby
So I always keep a bottle near
He said I just think you’re depressed
Yes me, baby, and the rest
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back oh no, no, no
I don’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
You’s tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go
I don’t ever want to drink again
I just, ooh I just need a friend
I’m not gonna spend ten weeks
And have everyone think I’ve gone mad
And it’s not just my pride
It’s just til these tears have dried
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back I said no, no, no
I ain’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
You’s tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go
- Capitol View - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:15 am:
Blago would say “Is that all there is?”
- Speaking at Will - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:16 am:
Dont Worry, Be Happy.
- Dan S, a Voter and Cubs Fan - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:18 am:
I beleive the perfect match would found at the following link: http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=7134934&q=hi&newref=1
- Railfan - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:18 am:
By the river (of cash) gently flowing,
Rod. Oh, boy.
- Reality - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:20 am:
…Sing to the tune of “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead”
DING DONG THE DEMS ARE DONE
THE DEMS ARE DONE, THE DEMS ARE DONE
DING DONE THE WICKED DEMS ARE DONE
BLAGO, MADIGAN and EMIL
THEY ALL PLAYED GAMES AND NOW THEY’RE DONE
DING DONG THE WICKED DEMS ARE DONE
THE TRUST OF THE PEOPLE THEY HAVE LOST
THEY HAVE LOST, THEY HAVE LOST
THE TRUST OF THE PEOPLE THEY HAVE LOST
REID AND DURBIN LOOK LIKE FOOLS
LOOK LIKE FOOLS, LOOK LIKE FOOLS
REID AND DURBIN LOOK LIKE FOOLS
BLAGO PULLED THEM INTO HIS MESS
INTO HIS MESS, INTO HIS MESS
BLAGO PULLED THEM INTO HIS MESS
CHAOS CHAOS LET IT STOP
LET IT STOP, LET IT STOP
CHAOS CHAOS LET IT STOP
DING DONG THE DEMS ARE DONE
THE DEMS ARE DONE, THE DEMS ARE DONE
DING DONG THE WICKED DEMS ARE DONE
- I'mTellingYou - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:23 am:
The End by the Doors
This is the end
Dutiful friends the end
Of my elaborate plans, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
Ill never look into your eyes…again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need…of some…strangers hand
In a…desperate land
Lost in a roman…wilderness of pain
And all the people are insane
All the Illinois people are insane
Waiting for the summer rain
Theres danger on the edge of Chicago town
Ride the kings highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby
Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake…hes old, and his skin is cold
The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and well do the rest
The Feds awoke before dawn, and put their boots on
They took a face from the ancient mug shots
And he walked up to my front door
He went into the room where I was in a fetal position
Paid a visit to my wife, and then they
They walked we out to their car
And they came to a door…and they looked inside
Governor, yes patric, I’m goring to arrest you
People of Illinois, yes Blago, I’m going to screw you
This is the end
Dutiful friends
This is the end
My very few friends, the end
It hurts to set you free
But that’s they it has to be, it seems
The end of money and power
The end of mainstream media after me
This is the. . . . . ennnnnnddddddd.
- Excessively rabid - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:23 am:
“I’ll Probably Feel a Whole Lot Better” - either version, the Byrds or Tom Petty.
- i've been Rod-omized - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:25 am:
Hit the road Jack, and don’t ya come back! - That could apply to a myriad of elected IL officials.
- Pickles!! - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:25 am:
Freebird!
- wordslinger - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:26 am:
All Along The Watchtower
“There must be some way out of here,” said the joker to the thief,
“There’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth.”
“No reason to get excited,” the thief, he kindly spoke,
“There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we’ve been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.”
All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.
Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl.
- Ahem - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:26 am:
“I’m A Little Teapot.” I’d just like to see Rod perform it.
- kidder - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:29 am:
I am with Anon from BB:
Breaking rocks in the hot sun
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the law won
I needed the money ’cause I had none
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the law won
I miss my baby and I feel so sad
I guess my race is run
Well she’s the best girl that I ever had
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the
Robbing people with a six gun
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the law won
I miss my baby and I miss my fun
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the law won
I miss my baby and I feel so sad
I guess my race is run
Well she’s the best girl that I ever had
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the
I fought the law and the law won [x7]
I fought the law and the
- You Go Boy - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:30 am:
“All Over the World” by ELO (works for “W” also)
- anon - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:30 am:
Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley
- Boone Logan Square - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:32 am:
C’mon folks. This is Rod Blagojevich we’re talking about.
It has to be Elvis. Granted the criminal trial is a ways off, but “Jailhouse Rock” is the first song that came to mind. Since the report was just released, “Suspicious Minds” will do.
The question I want to ask Rod, as the House prepares to vote? “Are you lonesome tonight?”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:34 am:
The Doors - THE END
This is the end
my Illinois friend
- Porcupine - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:38 am:
Making your way in the state today, takes everything you got…
hiring cronies and all those phonies, sure does cost a lot…
Wouldn’t you like to get away…sometimes you wanna go
Where everybody pays to play
And the kickbacks come your way
You wanna be where you can see, your power will rule the day
You wanna be where everybody pays to play
- Ghost - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:40 am:
Quinn should go with Bill Joel, “[I] didn’t Start the Fire”
- Cheswick - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:42 am:
How much is that gov’nor in the window…
Or.
Hokey Pokey…
Ahem, I’d like to see him do Teapot, too.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:43 am:
It is 2009, the song should be new!
Dancing Choose - TV on the Radio
He’s a what?
He’s a what?
He’s a newspaper man
And he gets his best ideas
From a newspaper stand;
From his boots to his pants
To his comments and his rants
He knows that any little article will do!
Though he expresses some confusion
‘Bout his part in the plan,
And he can’t understand
That he’s not in command;
The decisions underwritten
By the cash in his hand
Bought a sweater for
His weimariner too
Now I’m no mad man,
But that’s insanity
Feast before famine,
And more before family
Goes and shows up with
More bowls and more
Cups and the riot for the
Last hot meal erupts
Corrupts his hard drive
Through the leanest months
Shells out the hard cash
For the sickest stunts;
On aftershave, on gasoline
He flips the page and turns
The scene
In my mind I’m drowning butterflies
Broken dreams and alibis;
That’s fine.
I’ve seen my palette blown
To monochrome-
Hollow heart
Clicks hollowtone,
It’s time.
Eye on authority,
Thumb prints a forgery
Boy, ain’t it crazy what the
Lights can do
For counterfeit community;
Every opportunity
Wasted as the space
Between the flash tattoo
And the half-hearted hologram,
Posed for the party
Now he gloss full bleed
On a deaf dumb tree
Cod liver dollar signs,
Credit card autograph
Down for the record
But not for freedom
Angry young mannequin
American, apparently
Still to the rhythm
Better get to the back of me
Can’t stand the vision,
Better tongue the anatomy
Gold plated overhead,
Blank transparency
In the days of old,
You were a nut
Now you need three bumps
Before you cut
Not that I should care about,
Nothing I ain’t scared of, but
I guess you had
To
Be
There.
In my mind I’m breeding butterflies,
Broken dreams, and alibis
That’s fine.
I’ve seen my palette
Blown to monochrome
Hollow heart
Clicks hollowtone
In time.
I see you figured in your action pose
Foam-injected axl rose,
Life size
Should something shake you
And you drop the news,
Lord, just keep your dancing shoes
Off mine
- RobotRock - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:45 am:
“Police on My Back.” - The Clash.
- Reality - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:48 am:
And if Rod had wanted to avoid this whole mess he would have been wise to heed the advice of ELVIS when he said…”A little less conversation, a lot more action.”
- Bill - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:49 am:
Go ‘way from my window,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I’m not the one you want, babe,
I’m not the one you need.
You say you’re lookin’ for someone
Never weak but always strong,
To protect you an’ defend you
Whether you are right or wrong,
Someone to open each and every door,
But it ain’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe,
It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe.
Go lightly from the ledge, babe,
Go lightly on the ground.
I’m not the one you want, babe,
I will only let you down.
You say you’re lookin’ for someone
Who will promise never to part,
Someone to close his eyes for you,
Someone to close his heart,
Someone who will die for you an’ more,
But it ain’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe,
It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe.
Go melt back into the night, babe,
Everything inside is made of stone.
There’s nothing in here moving
An’ anyway I’m not alone.
You say you’re looking for someone
Who’ll pick you up each time you fall,
To gather flowers constantly
An’ to come each time you call,
A lover for your life an’ nothing more,
But it ain’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe,
It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe.
- IL Yeezy - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:55 am:
Hat tip to AngrySicilian for the idea: “Guv Lockdown” to the tune of Kanye West’s “Love Lockdown”:
I’m not bribin’ you
Way I wanted to
What I had to do
Had to pay-to-play with you
I’m ina plot with you
But the vibe is wrong
And they taped me all night long
So you never knew
Never, never knew
Til it’s over Guv
Til you lost control
Impeachment overload
Screamin’ no, no, no, no, no
Five not buyin’ you
Way you wanted to
Seat you want to move
But can’t sell no mo’
So you keep it low
Keep a secret mode
So public don’t have to know
So keep your Guv locked down
Your Guv locked down
Keepin’ your Guv locked down
Your Guv locked down
Pat keep our Guv locked down
Our Guv locked down
Now keep your Guv locked down
He lose
I’m not bribin’ you
Way I wanted to
I thought no one knew
What I was gonna do
Now, I said I’m through
Pat’s got eyes on you
And I’m not bribin’ you
Way I wanted to
Gotta keep it going
Keep the ‘re-election going
Keep it on at the polls
Only the Feds knows
If I’d bribed you
Illinois is confused
They choose, they choose
Voters not lovin’ you
Way they used to
Where you about to go
They don’t need you
We’ve been down this road
Too many times before
Voters not lovin’ you
Way they used to
So keep your Guv locked down
Your Guv locked down
Keepin’ your Guv locked down
Your Guv locked down
Pat keep our Guv locked down
Our Guv locked down
Now keep your Guv locked down
He lose
He lose
He lose
He lose
He lose
- anon - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:56 am:
Oh, it’s the song that never ends and it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they’ll continuing singiing it if only just because it is the song that never….
Come on, Everybody!
- Jake from Elwood - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:02 pm:
My first thought was “I fought the law” by The Clash.
These lyrics written by the real Elvis (Elvis Costello) also drive the point home succinctly:
Title “We Despise You”
Hey you! Are you looking at me?
Don’t waste your time
‘Cos I know your crime and I know that pose
And the lines around your eyes don’t show
When your face is in repose
The skin is tightening as you touch a nerve
Did you get what you paid for
Or did you only get what you deserve?
Go home, go home, go home, go home
And don’t come out again until we tell you to
Until we say you can
Go home, go home, go home, go home
And don’t come out again ‘til we analyze you
We despise you
But we can’t help you now
The sins visit on your face
As you think about that cul-de-sac and the wit you lack
And the slanders you repeat when I don’t fall at your feet
Too old to be so frightened
And too scared to tell the truth
You lie in teenage anguish
Which you can no longer blame upon your youth
Go home, go home, go home, go home
And don’t come out again until we tell you to
Until we say you can
Go home, go home, go home, go home
And don’t come out again as we analyze you
We despise you
But we can’t help you now
We despise you
We despise you
We despise you
We despise you
- Fan of the Game - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:14 pm:
To the tune of Ian Drury and the Blockheads’ “Sweet Gene Vincent”
Milorad, baby
Skinny white hustler, the chances were slender
The hair was coiffed.
Shall I mourn your decline with some Thunderbird wine
And a Cubs cap that’s been doffed?
I miss your sad wire-tapped whisper
I miss the voice that called “Reform.”
Sweet Rod Blago
Young and bold and gone
Sweet Rod Blago
Who, who, who slapped John?
White face, black suit
White teeth, black shoes
Black hair, white wife
Emil’s gone, Who’s got your back?
Sweet Rod Blago
Let the Elvis tunes roll tonight
At the sock hop ball in the AFSCME hall
Where the bop is their delight.
Here comes Lieutenant Pat, in his populist hat.
He’s the one trying to get your seat
You can run around the town
But Fitz has got you down
And your jogging shoes aren’t that fleet.
Big hair, small brain
Cop cars, jailer’s chains
Big mouth, small mind
Cubs cap, cheap wine
Sweet Rod Blago
There’s one in every town,
And the devil drives till the feds arrive
And you lay that kitty down.
Sweet Rod Blago
There’s nowhere left to hide
With lazy skin and ash-tray eyes
A perforated pride.
So farewell, Springfield, I hardly knew you.
Farewell to the money tree
But when your phones been tapped and your rep’s been zapped
You got to try to stay free.
- If It Walks Like a Duck - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:16 pm:
GOING DOWN by Wil Maring
Oh, the road we’d chosen was the treacherous kind.
The grades were steep and the curves were blind.
It was a dead end road with no warning signs
we were going down, going down.
- Cheswick - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:17 pm:
Oh, Bill, every so often you make us fall in love with you. Great song.
- Dooley Dudright - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:21 pm:
Oh, yeah, I’m with Boone Logan Square. Gotta be an Elvis song. Absolutely. Positively.
How ’bout “Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Guv”?
- All Aboard - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:21 pm:
“Hellbound Train” by Savoy Brown
“I’m goin’down the road on a hellbound train.
Take a last look, baby, you won’t see me again.”
The sudden stop to this song makes it particularly appropriate in this case.
- Six Degrees of Separation - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:22 pm:
From “Me & Bobbie McGee”
“Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose”
Or
“I Hate Everything About You” - either the Three Days Grace version or the Ugly Kid Joe version.
- wordslinger - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:29 pm:
Don’t be Cruel by Rod and the Gensonaires
You know I can be found,
Sitting home all alone,
My office is far downtown,
So I scheme on the telephone.
Don’t be cruel to a gov that’s true.
Barbara, if I made you mad
For something I might have said,
Please, lets forget the tapes,
Trust me, don’t trust the feds.
Don’t’ be cruel to a gov that’s true.
You don’t want no other gov,
People, its just you I’m thinking of.
Please stop impeachment of me,
Don’t make me go away,
Come on let me here you tell me,
I’ve got years more of pay to play.
Don’t be cruel to a gov that’s true.
Don’t be cruel to a gov that’s true.
Why shame me to depart?
I’m really not that bad, just not too smart.
Lets walk up to the Speaker
And tell him it’s not true,
I didn’t abuse my power,
I did it all for you.
Don’t be cruel to a gov that’s true.
You don’t want no other gov,
People it’s just you I’m thinking of.
- Linus - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:33 pm:
“Reunited” by ImPeaches & Herb
Referring, of course, to the House & Senate at this time of mutual action …
“Reunited / and it feels so good …”
- Ahem - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:37 pm:
(How many people are at work, stifling a guffaw? Too funny, youse guys!)
- Fan of the Game - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:38 pm:
To the tune of “Hey, St. Peter” by Flash & the Pan
The morning was cold and lonely,
City lights old and grey.
The guv arose trying to smile
Gave it all away.
Harris called Candidate 5
The candidate couldn’t pay the bill.
Made a stand, raised his hand
Sang a song, no time to kill.
I said, Hey, hey, hey, St. Peter
I’ve got a tale to tell
I’ve just been down in Chicago town
It really feels like hell
It really feels like hell
Blago’s now out of fashion
Springfield was years ago
Yesterday he wasted time
Money was kind of slow
Blago had no friends of glory
Blago was a friend of fame
Took a chance, raised his hand
Sang a song, now he’s out of the game.
Hey, St. Peter
Before you ring your bell
Just been down in Springfield town
Done my time in hell
Done my time in hell
- transplant - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:44 pm:
“One Way Out,” Allman Bros
- HoBoSkillet - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:45 pm:
From Bobby Dylan’s “Things Have Changed” with light editing -
A worried man with a worried mind
Quinn’s in front of me and Burris behind
There’s a woman on my lap and she’s drinking champagne
Got white skin, got assassin’s eyes
I’m looking up into the sapphire tinted skies
I’m well dressed, waiting on the last train
Standing on the gallows with my head in a noose
Any minute now I’m expecting all hell to break loose
People are crazy and times are strange
I’m locked in tight, I’m out of range
I used to care, but things have changed
This place ain’t doing me any good
I’m in the wrong town, I should be in Washington
Just for a second there I thought I saw something move
Gonna take dancing lessons do the jitterbug rag
Ain’t no shortcuts, gonna dress in drag
Only a fool in here would think he’s got anything to prove
Lot of water under the bridge, Lot of other stuff too
Don’t get up gentlemen, I’m only passing through
People are crazy and times are strange
I’m locked in tight, I’m out of range
I used to care, but things have changed
I’ve been walking forty miles of bad road
If the bible is right, the world will explode
I’ve been trying to get as far away from myself as I can
Some things are too hot to touch
The human mind can only stand so much
You can’t win with a losing hand
- transplant - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:46 pm:
Here’s the lyrics:
Aint but one way out baby, lord I just cant go out the door.
Aint but one way out baby, and lord I just cant go out the door.
Cause theres a man down there, might be your man I dont know.
Lord you got me trapped woman, up on the second floor;
If I get by this time I wont be trapped no more.
So raise our window baby, I can ease out soft and slow.
And lord, your neighbors, no they wont be
Talking that stuff that they dont know.
Lord, Im foolish to be here in the first place,
I know some man gonna walk in and take my place.
Aint no way in the world, Im going out that front door
Cause theres a man down there, might be your man I dont know.
Cause theres a man down there, might be your man I dont know.
Cause theres a man down there,
Freely
Lord, it just might happen to be your man…
Lord, it just a might be your man,
Oh baby, I just dont know…
- Cheswick - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:47 pm:
Don’t Bring Me Down (Eric Burdon)
When you complain, and criticize
I feel I’m nothing in your eyes
It makes me feel like giving up
Because my best just ain’t good enough
Girl I want to provide for you
And do all the things you want me to
Oh, oh no, don’t bring me down
I’m beggin’ you darlin’
Oh, oh no, don’t bring me down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC-iqjUWRPo
- Fan of the Game - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:51 pm:
wordsling,
That is excellent.
- Downstate GOP Faithless - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:54 pm:
do we need to go any farther than the hunter/garcia classic shakedown st.?
- anon - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:54 pm:
The Authority Song - By Mellencamp
- Anon - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 12:57 pm:
Harry Nilsson:
You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearin’ it apart
So [bleep] you!
Or, with apologies to Jimmy Buffet:
Some people claim I’ve got no one to blame
But I know it’s my enemies’ fault.
- Reality Check - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:00 pm:
Jay-Z:
American Gangster
- 18 minutes missing? - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:04 pm:
An Elvis cover:
As the snow flies…
On a cold and gray Chicago morn,
we are gonna stop a guy who for the law holds scorn,
name of Blago.
And his law firm cries.
‘Cause if there’s one thing that Rod don’t need,
is another lawyer bill for stunts that don’t succeed,
Silly Blago.
People gotta understand
this guv has gotten out of hand
and he’ll never go unless we show him the way
Now his buddy Emil’s a-goin’,
we’re gonna eject him from his throne
as Springfield workers pop the corks, all day long!
We can get the state on track,
we can take our guv’ment back,
meanwhile Burris sits around and edits resume’s.
Well the worm turns
as the guy who wanted to be president
looks ahead to a new home, with the fed-paid rent
good-bye, Blago.
And as his fortunes die,
On a cold and gray Chicago morn,
Another grand jury is about to be formed
just for Blago.
And the lawyers smile.
- Keef - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:08 pm:
Oh, it needs to be the Steam song used by the Sox:
You said you’re honest
You’d give us your real best
But then you showed us all it really
was a lie
After your reign of terror and your high crimes
(high crimes, all the time)
We wanna say we kiss you,
(wouldn’t say we miss you)
We’re gonna kiss you, good-bye…
na na na, na,
na, na NA, na,
HEY HEY, ROD, GOOD_BYE!
- It's 5 O'clock somewhere - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:10 pm:
“I Started a Joke” by the Bee Gees
- Oldies - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:16 pm:
What a field day for the press
they all are covering this mess
The cameras Rod once liked to chase
are now getting shots of his sorry case
we gotta
Stop, children, what’s that sound, mister verility’s goin’ down.
- Spin one more time - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:20 pm:
He’s called Blago and he’ll never ever be any good
He’s called Blago and he never really does what he should
But just because he doesn’t do what everybody else does
doesn’t mean that we can’t share love
He is always true (to me)
F ‘ng golden’s what I’ll be
‘Cause he’s not the governor, no, no, no
He’s not the governor, no, no, not for free
- Cheswick - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:29 pm:
18 minutes missing? - That’s excellent!
- Songbird - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:37 pm:
BYE, BYE BLAGO
Pack up all my prison clothes,
I’ll be there,
Before ya know,
(Bye bye, Blago),
Where somebody waits for me,
Patti’s sweet
But so is he,
(Bye bye, Blago)
No one here can love or understand me,
Oh, what bad news stories they all hand me,
Make my bed and light the light,
I’ll be there
Despite my “fight,”
(Blago, bye bye.
- unspun - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:38 pm:
“Turn me loose” by Loverboy.
Turn me loose…..turn me loose; I gotta do it my way…..or no way at all!
- culatr - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:41 pm:
Lil’ Wayne/kevin Rudolph say it best:
I see your dirty face
High behind your collar
What is done in vain
Truth is hard to swallow
So you pray to God
To justify the way you live a lie
Live a lie
Live a lie
And you take your time
And you do your crime
Well you made your bed
I’m in mine
Because when I arrive
I, I bring the fire
Make you come alive
I can take you higher
What this is, forgot?
I must now remind you
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
(Kevin Rudolph)
Now the son’s disgrased
He, who knew his father
When he cursed his name
Turned, and chased the dollar
But it broke his heart
So he stuck his middle finger
To the world
To the world
To the world
And you take your time
And you stand in line
Well you’ll get what’s yours
I got mine
Because when I arrive
I, I bring the fire
Make you come alive
I can take you higher
What this is, forgot?
I must now remind you
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
(Lil Wayne)
- Wumpus - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:45 pm:
(Im)peach(es)
President of the United States (I think)
- IrishPirate - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:50 pm:
Seems to me that “American Pie” must be used in this.
“Illinois Pie”
A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those voters dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.
But December made me shiver
With every Senate Seat I’d deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.
I can’t remember if I cried
When I heard about the Feds outside,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the hairgel died.
So bye-bye, Mr Illinois pie.
Took my hairbrush to the alley,…………
(At this point my limited creativity has reached its nadir)
- One of Three Puppets - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 1:53 pm:
Free Bird By Lynyrd Skynyrd
- 312 - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 2:01 pm:
I’ve had Warren Zevon’s song “Lawyers, Guns and Money” going through my head for the last 10 days.
- Porcupine - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 2:10 pm:
Not about the Impeachment per se, but I couldn’t help myself:
Roland, Roland, Roland
oh they’re disapprovin’
Keep ol’ Burris movin’ …Deny!!
Through Lies and Cheat and Scandal,
The Senate does mishandle,
Hoping their choice would pass them by
One thing that we’re all missin’
A Government that listens
Has apparently curled up and died
Move ‘em on, head ‘em up
Head ‘em up, Move ‘em on
Move ‘em on, head ‘em up
Deny!
Count ‘em in, count ‘em out
give ‘em vote, give ‘em clout
Count ‘em in, count ‘em out
DENY……YAH! *whiplash sound* YAH! *whiplash sound*
- Kevin Fanning - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 2:28 pm:
I was going to say suspicious minds because of the Guv’s obsession with Elvis, but Boone Logan Square beat me to it. However, I’ll include the lyrics because they’re just too fitting. Also really like that Guv locked down, that was hilarious. (hat tip to IL Yeezy)
We’re caught in a trap
I can’t walk out
Because I love you too much baby
Why can’t you see
What you’re doing to me
When you don’t believe a word I say?
We can’t go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can’t build our dreams
On suspicious minds
So, if an old friend I know
Drops by to say hello
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?
Here we go again
Asking where I’ve been
You can’t see these tears are real
I’m crying
We can’t go on together
With suspicious minds
And be can’t build our dreams
On suspicious minds
Oh let our love survive
Or dry the tears from your eyes
Let’s don’t let a good thing die
When honey, you know
I’ve never lied to you
Mmm yeah, yeah
- Hunterdon - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 2:31 pm:
Are you lonesome tonight?
Doesn’t impeachment bite?
Will you miss being Governor now ?
Does your memory stray to a bright sunny day
When the voters all called you sweetheart?
Do the drawers in your war chest seem empty and bare?
Do you think of a jail cell and picture you there?
Is your heart filled with pain, can you come back again?
Tell me Rod, are you lonesome tonight?
(spoken)
I wonder if you’re lonesome tonight
You know someone said that the world’s a stage
And each must play a part.
Fate had you playing in Illinois as our governor
Act One was when we met, Chicago loved you at first glance
You read your lines so cleverly and they voted for you
Then came act two, you seemed to change and you acted strange
And why we’ll never know.
Rod, you lied when you said you loved us
And we had no cause to doubt you
But rather than go on hearing your lies
We want to go on living without you.
Now the stage is bare and you’re standing there
With impeachment all around
We don’t want you anymore
So we’ll bring the curtain down
Is your heart filled with pain, career circling the drain?
Tell me Rod, are you lonesome tonight?
- wordslinger - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 2:35 pm:
With apologies to Townes, Willie and Merle
Blago and Fitzy
Governing on the edge my friend
It’s hard to keep free and clean
Soon you’ll sleep behind bars of iron
Your helmet head rarely seen
You weren’t the fixers only boy
But their favorite one it seems
They began to cry when you said goodbye
And sank from all your schemes
Blago was a bandit gov
His hair was hard as polished steel
Went to court in black spandex pants
To showcase testicular virility
Blago met his match you know
Under the dome by the Sangamo
Nobody heard his protesting words
Because he refused to show
All the federales say
They’ll get him for the pay to play
He won’t leave, he hangs around
He’s just shameless I suppose
Fitzy he don’t sing the blues
With Illinois govs, he’s two for two
The dust that Blago bit down south
Caused by words from his own mouth
The day they lay poor Blago low
Fitzy will have another go
Whose next in this freak show
There ain’t nobody knows
All the federales say
They’ll get him for the pay to play
He won’t leave, he hangs around
He’s just shameless I suppose
The bloggers tell how Blago fell
Next for him, a Club Fed hotel
Oxford’s quiet, Duluth’s cold
So the story ends we’re told
Blago needs your prayers it’s true,
But save a few for Fitzy too
He just did what he had to do
The crimes were base and bold
A few gray federales say
They’ll get him for the pay to play
He won’t leave, he hangs around
He’s just shameless I suppose
- coon dog - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 2:40 pm:
Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey GOOD BYE!!!
- Bye Bye Blago - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 2:58 pm:
Suspicious Minds (with apologies to Elvis)
Blago’s caught in a trap
He can’t plead out
Because his campaign fund’s on empty
He can’t believe
What you’re saying to me
That you don’t believe a word he’s sayin’
Dem’s can’t go on together
With suspicious minds
And they can’t fund their dreams
With our suspicious minds
So, if an old friend he knows
Drops by to say hello
With more to sell…what would you buy?
There they go again
Talkin’ ‘bout his sins
You can’t see these tears are real
He’s crying
We must go on without him
He’s crossed the line -
We can’t build our dreams
With Blago’s lies
Oh let our state survive
And dry the tears from our eyes
Let’s don’t let a good thing die
When honey, you know
He’s always lied to you
Mmm yeah, yeah
- Jechislo - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 5:22 pm:
How about that great old theme song from John Wayne’s “The High and The Mighty”? Kinda make you wanna cry; the song name fits the bill too.
- walkinmyshoes - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 6:09 pm:
When he gets to his new accomodations he can sing “I Just want to be your teddy bear” to his cellie!
- Gregor - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 8:36 pm:
Considering he’s an ex- client of Genson’s maybe Rod can get a break on permission to use R. Kelly’s “trapped in the closet”, the process to get Rod out seems to take at least as long as that song “cycle”.
- Reclaimillinois.com - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 8:51 pm:
Renegade by Styx
Oh mama I’m in fear for my life
From the long arm of the law
Lawman has put an end to my running
And I’m so far from my home
Oh mama I can hear you a crying
You’re so scared and all alone
Hangman is coming down from the gallows
And I don’t have very long
The jig is up the news is out
They’ve finally found me
The renegade who had it made
Retrieved for a bounty
Never more to go astray
This will be the end today of the wanted man
- From the Sidelines - Thursday, Jan 8, 09 @ 11:59 pm:
“Extreme Ways” Moby
Extreme ways are back again
Extreme places that I know
I broke everything here for gain
Everything that I’d owned
Career is out the window name is gone
Extreme ways that I’ve known
Remove my chances of a plea
Imperfect little me
Extreme ways that help me
They tell me that it’s all right
Extreme places I have gone
But never without a fight
Dirty actions, dirty deals
Dirty words bleeping through
Extreme but not alone
Did I ever like it then
You would stand in line for this
No other deal in life like this…
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Like it always does, always does
Extreme staff that sold me
They helped me think I was right
I always had so much to say
But the truth didn’t get to light
I closed my eyes, closed in my house
And closed my options never opened
Up to anything
Except what’s leagally wrong
I had to close down my dreams
I had to close down my mind
Too many things point to me
Too much the Feds can find
I’ve hid so much in so many places
So much promised, so many faces
So many dirty things
You couldn’t even believe
You would stand in line for this
No other deal in life like this
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh Fitzi, oh Fitzi
Like it always does, always does