No Speaker, Governor Quinn waxes his head COUNTER clockwise.
- Speaking at Will - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:22 am:
John Fritchey
“So, ya see, the strike zone used to be from the knees to the letters…but now a pitch up around here is called a ball! It’s the number one problem with the game today, the strike zone has changed!”
“Go ahead and cry, Mr. Speaker. I’m heartbroken over David Carradine, too. I remember that one episode where he chopped the bad guy just like this . . .”
“Mr. Speaker, please let me explain. Assume you are GRF, now assume that we only project the revenues to come to here. The distance between my hand and the top of your head is what we in the government call a shortfall or budget gap.”
John Fritchey’s audition to become the next Speaker — with the Speaker thinking to himself: “This is the worst impression of me I have ever seen or heard. My hand chop motions are always VERTICAL; never horizontal. No one can do it right. Well, looks like I’m still going to be here for a while.”
Fritchey: you know, I think the people have only had it up to here with us…
Mike: Nah, not even close John we hit reset when we got rid of Blago it starts all over, does it not…
Fritchey: “Have you seen the picture of me standing next to Bill Cartwright? I come up to about here on him! And that’s while I’m standing on a chair!”
Madigan (thinking): “I must banish all violent imagery from my mind. It IS possible. I must banish all violent imagery from my mind!”
So if the top of the Capitol rotunda was the measurement for average intelligence, the collective measure of our State legislature’s intelligence would come up to around here.
Mr. Speaker the problem with your reign the last 6 years was that the last senate president was taller than you … the new one is only this tall … thus giving you an advantage!
Hey Mike remember when I was this tall? And I told you I wanted to be a Doctor and you said kid you can’t make money being a Doctor you have to get into politics…
Thank goodness we changed the Video Gaming Act to allow taverns to have gambling that are 1000 feet from a school to now only 100 feet away from a school without nobody noticing…Now we can just put height restrictions on the machines for the kids to play like at Great America, figure this big…
And it just hovered there in mid air like this, and then Alexi got out. I dont know how he can afford a state-owned flying saucer, but the voters are going to love it.
I accepted the AFL -CIo endorsement in my congressional race and then I really stuck it to them on Sunday night with my no vote on the income tax. That was good, right boss . I did good, right?
I wanted to take this opportunity to respond to your post. I believe that we need additional revenues in order to correct our structural budget deficit and to address our human infrastructure and social service needs. That is why I was not only in support of the measure passed by the Senate, but have also been a lead sponsor of HB750, the ‘tax swap’ bill, for several years now. In fact, I have openly stated that I support an income tax hike for over a decade now.
The bill that came before the House, however, has no property tax relief included in it, nor does it in any way address our education funding disparity. These are both elements which I believe are crucial to a viable income tax increase proposal. I remain hopeful that we will reconvene sooner rather than later in order to address this critical issue.
I am proud of my strong lifetime labor voting record and deeply appreciative of their support of my recent candidacy.
Fritchey:”Mr. Speaker Please stay right here and look at me so I can get in another Tribune Picture. I got a stack this high at home and I’m only one away from the record.”
- long time state worker - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:35 pm:
Ok Speaker you can put bamboo shoots under any finger and I still won’t vote for a tax increase.
Mr. Speaker….if we could compromise, work together “reaching across the aisle”….I think we would come in on a perfect landing for the best election year to come!
- Easy - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:10 am:
seriously speaker, you are taller than Rosemary Mulligan. she only comes up to here on you.
- Reality Check - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:13 am:
“I lost a Congressional seat to a guy this tall.”
- Levois - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:15 am:
Mr. Speaker it’s smooth over everything!
- Rep. John Fritchey - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:15 am:
Rich, really? I’ve only been back 3 days and I don’t even get a break?
Well, so as not to be left out:
1. “See Speaker, then you hold your hand upside down under mine and we slap ‘em together. And that’s how you give somebody five.”
2. “I swear to God, if Fritchey tickles my neck again, he’ll think that Hoffman got off easy.”
- The Doc - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:17 am:
Speaker, you’ve never done the “Macarena”? It goes a little somethin’ like this…
- Reese's Pieces - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:18 am:
What do you mean you don’t know how to do the Macarena? It goes like this…
- Reese's Pieces - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:19 am:
Jinks…
- HoosierDaddy - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:20 am:
“But the trick to it, Mr. Speaker, is you gotta spread the cheese sauce really thick, all over the sliced steak, that’s how ya do it…”
Sorry.. it’s lunch time.
- Obamarama - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:21 am:
“Mr. Speaker, I know Kung Fu.”
- Anonymous - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:21 am:
No Speaker, Governor Quinn waxes his head COUNTER clockwise.
- Speaking at Will - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:22 am:
John Fritchey
“So, ya see, the strike zone used to be from the knees to the letters…but now a pitch up around here is called a ball! It’s the number one problem with the game today, the strike zone has changed!”
- Ghost - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:22 am:
Fritchey returns from the new Star trek movie and mistakenly tries to explain the Klingon nerve pinch.
Fritchey discusses strategy for dealing with Cross: You sneak up on him and give a straight chop to the adams apple
- Third Generation Chicago Native - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:23 am:
The Bull is this high in here.
- Downstate weed chewing hick - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:24 am:
Mind control vs. judo chop. Its a stand off.
- Double - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:26 am:
No, no, no Mr. Speaker…we only need to raise this much more out of the common folk to pay for all of our pet projects.
- Mike an Ike - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:26 am:
State employees.We’ll cut them off at their knees.
- Double - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:26 am:
No, no, no Mr. Speaker…we only need to raise taxes this much more from the common folk to pay for all of our pet projects.
- OneMan - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:27 am:
The battle was short as Rep Fritchey used his Ninja skills he quickly learned that Madigan’s heat vision was unstoppable.
- KGB - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:28 am:
Fritchey: “Okay, Speaker, I’m tired of this. You either back SB 750 or I’ll be forced to demonstrate my mastery of karate on you. Like this…”
Speaker (after a pause and a stare): “I’m not impressed. Tim, get this guy away from me.”
- OneMan - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:28 am:
And Mike that’s when I gave a karate chop to Bob Love’s knees
- Johnny USA - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:29 am:
The tallest midget is only about this tall, Mr. Speaker
- A Citizen - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:30 am:
See, Mike, the Chess board is a single plane - not three dimensional like you’re thinking.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:34 am:
“Look - I see you’re kinda unimpressed, but seriously, if we pile it up this high and deep, voters might think it’s all the Republican’s fault.”
- Steve - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:35 am:
Don Stephens was throwing around those kind of numbers.
- wordslinger - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:35 am:
“Look out, Mike, Blago’s back! Judo chop!”
- Bluefish - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:35 am:
Let’s go over this one more time. This is paper. Paper covers rock. Scissors cut paper.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:36 am:
“Go ahead, Mr. Speaker - give me the old stink-eye, but look - I’m not shaking.”
- wordslinger - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:38 am:
“David Carradine taught me Kung Fu, among other things.”
- Third Generation Chicago Native - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:39 am:
I have had it up to here with all this!
- Anon - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:40 am:
“Go ahead and cry, Mr. Speaker. I’m heartbroken over David Carradine, too. I remember that one episode where he chopped the bad guy just like this . . .”
- Heartless Libertarian - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:40 am:
Where’s your other hand…?
Between two pillows…
Those aren’t pillows!!!
(I can never resist a good Planes, Trains, and Automobiles reference.)
- Fredbird - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:41 am:
“Mr. Speaker, please let me explain. Assume you are GRF, now assume that we only project the revenues to come to here. The distance between my hand and the top of your head is what we in the government call a shortfall or budget gap.”
- bmrnp - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:42 am:
Let’s just crush the state employees and their families and that’s more money we’ll have for ourselves.
- unclesam - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:46 am:
John Fritchey’s audition to become the next Speaker — with the Speaker thinking to himself: “This is the worst impression of me I have ever seen or heard. My hand chop motions are always VERTICAL; never horizontal. No one can do it right. Well, looks like I’m still going to be here for a while.”
- fisher - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:47 am:
Madigan / thought balloon:
I am — DOOM! I rule here.
- one observer - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:47 am:
This is how G Gordon Liddy taught me to hold my hand over a lighted candle.
- Rich Miller - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:48 am:
Madigan, silently: “OK, John, now move your hand over to the green button. That’s right. Move it. Slowly. Slowly…”
- Blogger2 - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:53 am:
Speaker, if you cut your apple in half this way, it gives you a new perspective on how Blagojevich was rotten to the core.
- Jake from Elwood - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:05 pm:
The Speaker disapproves as Rep. Fritchey demonstrates his take on the patented Vulcan Death Grip.
- April-Wha???? - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:12 pm:
C’mon Mr. Speaker, we gotta hokey pokey for the people…”You put your left hand in…you put your left hand out.”
- 2ConfusedCrew - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:14 pm:
Speaker, Blagoof’s head is this flat. He just puffs the hairpiece to make it look round.
- anon 58 - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:14 pm:
Fritchey: you know, I think the people have only had it up to here with us…
Mike: Nah, not even close John we hit reset when we got rid of Blago it starts all over, does it not…
- Downstater - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:19 pm:
The level of bull has reached this level and is increasing!
- Dudeman - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:27 pm:
Give me some skin, brother!
- ahem - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:32 pm:
Fritchey: “Have you seen the picture of me standing next to Bill Cartwright? I come up to about here on him! And that’s while I’m standing on a chair!”
Madigan (thinking): “I must banish all violent imagery from my mind. It IS possible. I must banish all violent imagery from my mind!”
- Todd - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:36 pm:
wax on — wax off
- rf - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:39 pm:
without your heels, you’re this big
- the Other Anonymous - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:47 pm:
Seriously, Mr. Speaker, you’re taller than a leprechaun.
- A Citizen - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:53 pm:
Seriously Mike, you’d look quite gubernatorial with a Flat Top haircut!
- Anon - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:54 pm:
Fritchey: “Ok Mr. Speaker don’t turn your head, but I have a clear shot at Tom Cross with this rubberband.”
- BigDog - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:55 pm:
So if the top of the Capitol rotunda was the measurement for average intelligence, the collective measure of our State legislature’s intelligence would come up to around here.
- WOW - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 12:58 pm:
Mr. Speaker the problem with your reign the last 6 years was that the last senate president was taller than you … the new one is only this tall … thus giving you an advantage!
- Das Man - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 1:00 pm:
I snagged a fish THIS BIG with the same stink bait we sent Quinn last month
- Lefty Lefty - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 1:01 pm:
MJM: I need a drink.
JF: Had mine. Rock steady for the special session…
- anon - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 1:06 pm:
See, you start off like this real slow and unassuming like, and then… Shocker!
- Anon - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 1:11 pm:
The speaker is not impressed with an impromptu Sieg Heil from Fritchey.
- phocion - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 1:13 pm:
“Hey Moe! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!”
- You Go Boy - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 1:16 pm:
“If you weren’t on that soapbox, you’d be this tall”
- siriusly - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 1:27 pm:
Madigan: “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for”
Frichey: “These aren’t the droids we’re looking for”
- democrat - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 1:28 pm:
Hey Mike remember when I was this tall? And I told you I wanted to be a Doctor and you said kid you can’t make money being a Doctor you have to get into politics…
- Y2D - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 1:44 pm:
My vote is for the mind control-judo chop standoff!
- Inish - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 1:58 pm:
No SERIOUSLY Speaker, THAT SANDWIcH WAS THIS BIG…….. LOTS OF CHEESE
- Corey - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 2:22 pm:
Thank goodness we changed the Video Gaming Act to allow taverns to have gambling that are 1000 feet from a school to now only 100 feet away from a school without nobody noticing…Now we can just put height restrictions on the machines for the kids to play like at Great America, figure this big…
- Rich Miller - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 2:23 pm:
Shhhh… That’s Monday’s story.
- LisleMike - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 2:23 pm:
Mr.Speaker, please, when you call for a vote and I do this, it means I need better instructions on how to vote!
- casual observer - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 2:25 pm:
MJM: “I can elevate his hand and make him smack himself on the back of the head. When will these guys learn my powers?”
- Highland, IL - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 2:38 pm:
We were standing there and Rod’s plane came by flying by like this
- Bill - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 3:04 pm:
phocion wins!
- zatoichi - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 3:04 pm:
F: The third hole just went on and on as far as ….
M: Like I care.
- Thomas - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 3:49 pm:
our junior senator of illinois is exactly this tall.
- James - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 3:50 pm:
our junior senator of illinois is exactly this tall.
- Downstate weed chewing hick - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 4:05 pm:
And it just hovered there in mid air like this, and then Alexi got out. I dont know how he can afford a state-owned flying saucer, but the voters are going to love it.
- Pete Granata - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 4:09 pm:
I accepted the AFL -CIo endorsement in my congressional race and then I really stuck it to them on Sunday night with my no vote on the income tax. That was good, right boss . I did good, right?
- Arthur Andersen - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 4:20 pm:
JF: C’mon, Mr. Speaker, please unfreeze me. I was just teasing you with that “dirt off your shoulder” thing after Quinn walked away. He didn’t see me.
MJM: Mr. Fritchey, don’t you ever try to touch me again or you will be frozen colder than the Arctic Circle.
- Anon - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 4:35 pm:
Mike, I understand the GOP record request itself was this high.
- johnbtes - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 4:49 pm:
I thought he was gonna throw Rock, so I threw paper and that’s why I am not wearing any pants today.
- Rep. John Fritchey - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 4:57 pm:
Pete,
I wanted to take this opportunity to respond to your post. I believe that we need additional revenues in order to correct our structural budget deficit and to address our human infrastructure and social service needs. That is why I was not only in support of the measure passed by the Senate, but have also been a lead sponsor of HB750, the ‘tax swap’ bill, for several years now. In fact, I have openly stated that I support an income tax hike for over a decade now.
The bill that came before the House, however, has no property tax relief included in it, nor does it in any way address our education funding disparity. These are both elements which I believe are crucial to a viable income tax increase proposal. I remain hopeful that we will reconvene sooner rather than later in order to address this critical issue.
I am proud of my strong lifetime labor voting record and deeply appreciative of their support of my recent candidacy.
- parlimentary boy - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 5:15 pm:
Mr. Speaker, I can jump this high for you.
- one observer - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 7:47 pm:
Practicing the age old legislative trick of misdirection, John, using his right hand, slips the Speaker’s watch off his wrist.
- Fritchey Colleagues - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 10:04 pm:
Fritchey:”Mr. Speaker Please stay right here and look at me so I can get in another Tribune Picture. I got a stack this high at home and I’m only one away from the record.”
- long time state worker - Friday, Jun 5, 09 @ 11:35 pm:
Ok Speaker you can put bamboo shoots under any finger and I still won’t vote for a tax increase.
- SouthernIL - Saturday, Jun 6, 09 @ 11:25 am:
Mr. Speaker….if we could compromise, work together “reaching across the aisle”….I think we would come in on a perfect landing for the best election year to come!